Of course, you should be friendly, loving, and courteous to everyone. But this is not about that. This is about the people you decide to spend the most time with. These are the people you hire for staff positions...key volunteers that you spend time with...people you go to for counsel...people who will influence your life.
Pick these people carefully, because they are the ones who will help you either grow personally or hinder your growth.
Here's 10 key questions to ask yourself before bringing someone in close.
Do they talk more than they listen? You want people who are confident and not afraid to express their opinion. But if they talk a lot more than they listen in conversations, ask yourself why. Are they self-centered? Are they teachable? Are they a know-it-all?
Are they an energy-giver or taker? Some people are just plain negative. They drain the life out of you. You want someone who is compassionate, generous, and encouraging. Someone who energizes you. Someone who challenges you. Someone who stretches you.
Does this person act or react? Watch out for people who get defensive or critical when faced with a problem or issue. Surround yourself with people who jump into action and problem-solving mode when faced with a problem or issue.
Does this person feel real or do they just want something from you? Watch out for people who flatter you with constant praise or try really hard to impress you. They usually have a hidden agenda. Look for people who are just themselves. If they are really good, they won't need to prove it. You will see it in the flow of their every day life.
What are their family and close friends like? Their family and close friends are a reflection of who they really are.
How does this person treat someone they don't know? Is this person kind and courteous to the waitress at the restaurant...the cashier at the store....the person on the elevator? It's in these situations that a person's true attitude is revealed.
What has this person been reading? You can tell a lot about a person by the last 5 books they read.
Would you want to go on a long car ride with this person? Is this someone you want to spend time with? Is there chemistry?
Is this person growing? Do they know what their strengths and weaknesses are? Are they taking action to grow and improve as a leader? Are they life-long learners?
What do they talk about a lot? What people spend the most time talking about reveals what is important to them.
Your inner circle. Choose them carefully. Because you will become them.
What are some other questions to ask before bringing someone close? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.
