RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

A new study by Pew Research shows that a record 40% of all households with children under the age of 18 include mothers who are either the sole or primary source of income for the family,

The share was just 11% in 1960. These “breadwinner moms” are made up of two very different groups: 5.1 million (37%) are married mothers who have a higher income than their husbands, and 8.6 million (63%) are single mothers.

The income gap between the two groups is quite large. The median total family income of married mothers who earn more than their husbands was nearly $80,000 in 2011, well above the national median of $57,100 for all families with children, and nearly four times the $23,000 median for families led by a single mother.

The growth is tied to women’s increasing presence in the workplace. Women make up almost of half (47%) of the U.S. labor force today, and the employment rate of married mothers with children has increased from 37% in 1968 to 65% in 2011.3

A survey conducted in November 2012 found that mothers’ views about whether and how much they would like to work had changed significantly since 2007 (before the recession officially began). The share of mothers saying their ideal situation would be to work full time increased from 20% in 2007 to 32% in 2012. And the share saying they would prefer not to work at all fell from 29% to 20%.

Many voice concerns about the toll that having a working mother may take on children or even marriage. About three-quarters of adults (74%) say the increasing number of women working for pay has made it harder for parents to raise children, and half say that it has made marriages harder to succeed.

While the vast majority of Americans (79%) reject the idea that women should return to their traditional roles, the study finds that the public still sees mothers and fathers in a different light when it comes to evaluating the best work-family balance for children.

About half (51%) of survey respondents say that children are better off if a mother is home and doesn’t hold a job, while just 8% say the same about a father.

On the topic of single mothers, most Americans (64%) say that this growing trend is a “big problem”; however, the share who feel this way is down from 71% in 2007. Also, young adults are less concerned than older adults about the trend. About four-in-ten adults under age 30 (42%) view it as a big problem, compared with 65% of those in their 30s and 40s and 74% of adults who are 50 and older.

Of all households with children younger than 18, the share of married mothers who out-earn their husbands has gone up from 4% in 1960 to 15% in 2011, nearly a fourfold increase. During the same period, the share of families led by a single mother has more than tripled (from 7% to 25%).

The total family income is higher when the mother, not the father, is the primary breadwinner. In 2011, the median family income was nearly $80,000 for couples in which wife is the primary breadwinner, about $2,000 more than it was for couples in which husband is the primary breadwinner, and $10,000 more than for couples in which spouses’ income is the same.

Married mothers are increasingly better educated than their husbands. Even though a majority of spouses have a similar educational background, the share of couples in which the mother has attained a higher education than her spouse has gone up from 7% in 1960 to 23% in 2011.

In two-parent families today, 61% have a mother whose education level is similar to her husband’s, 23% have a mother who is better educated than her husband, and 16% have a father who is better educated than his wife. Most people reject the idea that it is bad for a marriage if a wife out-earns her husband.

When asked if they agree or disagree that it is generally better for a marriage if a husband earns more than his wife, some 28% of survey respondents say they agree and 63% disagree. When a similar question was asked in 1997, 40% said they agreed.

Don't focus on crowds...focus on individuals.

Don't focus on how many kids are attending your church...focus on how many are NOT attending.

Don't focus on meeting numbers...focus on meeting needs.

Don't focus on retaining the discontent...focus on reaching the lost.

Don't focus on your numerical growth plan...focus on fulfilling the Great Commission.

Don't focus on people coming from another church...focus on people who have no church.

You see...our goal shouldn't be to be a large Children's Ministry.  Our goal should be to simply reach people...one at a time.

Be like Jesus...be focused on the one sheep who is lost.  Go and find him.  Love him and bring him into the fold.  One sheep at a time.  If you do this, the natural result will be growth.

You want to know how a children's ministry of 1,000 kids is built?  One child at a time.  Forget the 1,000 number and just start reaching kids...one at a time.  Before long, you'll look up and you'll have a 1,000 of those ones. 

Being a know-it-all.  When you begin to think you know it all...you're in trouble and your growth will stagnate.  Remain teachable.  Great leaders are always in school.  Learn from everyone...all the time.

Being condescending.  No one likes to be talked down to.  Treat everyone the same.  Make every person you talk to feel important.  See a "10" on everyone's forehead. 

Not listening.  Be approachable.  When people are talking to you, look at them, not past them.  Led with great questions instead of answers.

Being defensive.  Hold the ministry with open hands.  Detach yourself from your ideas.  Just let them be ideas.  Be open to feedback.  In fact, seek it out. 

Micromanaging.  Equip and empower leaders and then let them lead.  Let go of your control issues. 

Whining.  Stay positive.  Focus on what you have, not on what you don't have.  A whiner brings problems and challenges to the table.  A leader brings problems and challenges to the table along with possible answers and solutions.

Building my kingdom.  Be a team player.  Reach out to and collaborate with other ministries in your church.  Don't see them as competition but as partners.  Look beyond your ministry and see the big picture of the church.

Congratulations to the winners of the Pilgrim's Progress iPad apps.  Thanks to everyone who entered the contest. 

Jenn Vintigni
Gaylin Stuart
Christine Murphy
Susan Coai
Ethan Davis
Matt Norman

Watch for more giveaways coming soon.