RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY: #leadingkidmin

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7 Big Decisions That Should Always Be a Group Decision

9:43 AM Dale Hudson

"Where no wise guidance is, the people falleth: but in the multitude of counselors there is safety." Proverbs 11:14

There are some decisions you should never make solo. Just as the verse above emphasizes, "There is safety when you have other people help you make decisions."

The smartest person in the room is the room.

Here are 7 times when you should always have other people around you when making a decision.

When calling DCF. DCF guidelines are similar in each state. In the state of Florida, the Department of Children and Families (DCF) oversees programs and services involving child welfare, child abuse, childcare, legal services for children, foster care, domestic violence, human trafficking, drug abuse, and mental health issues.

As someone who works with children, you are a mandatory reporter if you suspect a child is being abused or neglected. And you should make the call. But I do suggest you have 2-3 other people that you run the situation by before making the call and make sure they are aware of the situation and are in agreement. The other people should be leaders such as a pastor, elder, staff member, etc.

Letting someone go. Don't let someone go by yourself. Make sure you get input and advice from a couple of other people who are aware of the circumstances and believe it is the right call to make. This includes when you are letting a staff person or a volunteer go. And don't meet with the person alone. Have at least one of the other people with you when you inform the person.

Hiring someone. Don't hire alone. Have 2 to 3 other people who meet with the potential hire as part of the hiring process. It's hard to get a strong review by yourself. Other people can pick up on things you can't pick up on by yourself.

Whether or not to let someone serve who had something come up on their background check. Occasionally, when you run a background check on a potential volunteer, you will have something pop. As you verify the offence, you have to decide if the person can still serve or not. If the offence involves the abuse or neglect of a child, the person should never serve in children's ministry...never. But sometimes it will be an offence like a DUI, drug use, theft, etc.

When this happens you have to make a decision about the person serving or not. And there are times when they should be able to serve. Let's take someone who had a DUI ten years ago. It was before they knew Jesus and they have been clean now for 6 years. I would personally let the person serve but I wouldn't make the final decision alone. I would have 2-3 other people who agreed and would sign off on the person serving.

Starting, stopping or changing a program or process in the ministry. Change should be an open book not a secret diary. When you are making big changes or adjusting the ministry, bring a few people along with you to make sure it is the wise thing to do. Bounce your ideas off of them to get their input on the change.

Updating or building a ministry area. Thinking about painting your nursery and preschool areas? Want to bring a new theme and decor into your pre-teen area? Building a new children's building? Adding a new indoor playground?

Ask for help. Get input from some of your key volunteers and parents. They can provide you with key insight and ideas that will make it far better than you going at it alone.

Making a big purchase. Here is what I suggest. Anytime you are spending more than $500 on a ministry item, get someone else to sign off on the purchase before you make it.

A wise leader gathers and listens to the advice of those around him or her. Be that kind of leader.

p.s. Looking for more ways to be a wise leader? Get my book "Lead Well in Children's Ministry." It draws from over 32 years of children's ministry experience. Learn how to lead well by avoiding many of the mistakes I have made over the years. Available in ebook and paperback at this link.

Learning From Other Ministries

8:31 AM Dale Hudson

If you want to improve your ministry, then be committed to learning from other ministries.

If you are intentional about it, there is something you can learn from other ministries. No matter what the size of the ministry, there is something that you can pick up.

Some of my best ministry ideas are ones that I got from other ministries.

Here's an example. I was at a church in Canada a few years back. I was asking them how they followed up with guests. The children's pastor told me they have their guest services team write out personal notes to the guests they have checked in that day. They make the note personal and welcoming. It's a brilliant idea and so I implemented it in our ministry. It helped us make a big impact with new families.

Every time you are visiting another ministry, ask to see their children's ministry environments. If you look closely enough, you will be able to pick up some ideas for your ministry.

Here's some things to remember when it comes to learning from other ministries.

No matter how long you've been in children's ministry and no matter how much experience you have, stay teachable. Don't write off a ministry that is smaller or less influential than yours. There is something you can learn from every ministry you come in contact with.

Ask lots of questions. When you are interacting with another ministry, ask questions about how they operate, do ministry, etc.

Go visit other ministries. When was the last time you went to another ministry on a Sunday morning to observe and get ideas? Visit the other churches in your area. Jump on a plane when it is feasible and fly to observe a ministry that is reaching and discipling kids and families. Write down notes from what you observe.

Some of the best ideas I have gotten didn't come from a conference, but rather from a ministry I visited.

Call successful ministries and ask them questions about what is working for them, what is not working for them, what has been a big win for them recently, etc.

Meet for lunch with other ministries in your area. Make time to learn from each other.

Remember, ministry is not a competition...it is a collaboration. We are all on the same team and our captain is Jesus. We are stronger together. Ideas are not meant to be hidden, they are meant to be shared. Don't worry about who gets the credit for the idea.

Be open to change. As you learn from other ministries, there will be times when you have to decide if you are going to make a change or not. Don't get stuck in the past...doing ministry the same way you've always done it. Remember, the last 3 letters of TREND are END. When you learn from other ministries you are forced to make a decision to move forward with the ideas and strategies you have gotten or to just keep doing what you've always done.

I had the privilege of being on the same church staff as John Maxwell for 9 years. One week, he shared with us about a big change he made. Over the course of his ministry, he had accumulated thousands of ideas, stories, insights, illustrations, etc. to use in his talks. They were arranged by topic. It gave him the ability to quickly find ideas for the talks he brought.

One day, he realized just how much he depended on all of those notes and ideas he had compiled over decades of speaking and writing. He knew he needed something fresh and more relevant in his talks, sermons, books, etc.

He hired some men to come to his house and here is what he told them.

"I want you to take all of the speaking files out of these storage cabinets and I want you to take them somewhere and trash them. When you return, I may try to talk you into getting them back for me. Don't listen to me. Don't tell them where they are. I have to get rid of them."

He did this because he knew he needed some fresh ideas and insight. It was time to reboot his commitment to learning new things.

Bring in outside eyes so you can get fresh perspective and insights. After awhile, we become very familiar and comfortable with our ministry. And that leads to blind spots which can hinder your ministry from growing and reaching people.

One of the best things you can do to prevent this, is to bring in an experienced leader who can help you identify and fix your blind spots. I can do this for you. I have over 32 years of experience and have helped build and lead some of the largest ministries in the nation. Each year, I help leaders and ministries find their blind spots and fix them.

You can get more info. about bringing me to your ministry by visiting this link. I do on-site and online assessments and planning with you. I can help your ministry get to the next level. No matter what size your church is, I can work within your budget to help you.

What is 2022 going to look like for you? Will it be the same old same old again? Will it be year of growth or a year of stagnation?

If you want it to be a banner year, then be committed to learning from other ministries.

Children and Screen Time...the Latest Findings

10:35 AM Dale Hudson

Pew Research recently released the latest information about children and screen time.

Parenting today's technology-advanced kids.

2/3 of parents say parenting today is harder than it was 20 years ago. Many say technologies like social media and smartphones are a big reason why.

"Parents don't know how to handle the technology." Man - age 49

"Technology has taught kids instant gratification and no patience." Man - age 50

We have so much technology today that was not available 20 years ago. Social media, reality TV sows, video games have really changed our society and how we interact with each others." Woman - age 47

"There's too much technology. Kids are addicted. They don't go outside, they don't hang out with friends, they are getting overweight due to lack of exercise and poor diet." Man - age 45

“I think that social media is harmful to kids and their self-concepts and self-images. It’s difficult to combat the messages that [they] are getting ALL THE TIME from the outside world. Being a teen is more difficult than it was even 10 years ago, and much more difficult than it was 30 years ago. Parenting through all of the obstacles is really challenging.” Woman - age 51

Parents are also concerned about the long-term effects of smartphones on children's development. 71% believe that using a smartphone could result in more harm than benefits.

These concerns are arising at a time when it is common for children of all ages to engage with digital devices.

80% of parents say their child age 5 to 11 uses and interacts with a tablet computer.
63% say their child interacts with a smartphone.

Digital Assistants

36% of parents say their child uses or interacts with a voice-activated assistant like Siri or Alexa.
82% of parents say their child uses a voice-activated assistant to play music.
66% use it to get information.
47% to hear jokes.
30% to play games.

YouTube is a key platform for younger and older kids.

YouTube says over 1 billion hours of videos are watched on the site every day.

The platform has over 2 billion users.

80% of parents say their children (ages 11 and younger) watch videos on YouTube.

46% of parents say their child has encountered inappropriate videos on YouTube.

79% are very or somewhat concerned about their child encountering inappropriate content on YouTube

Protecting their children. 90% of parents say they have a lot of responsibility in protecting children from inappropriate content.

A big part of this research was to find out parents' views about the amount of time their child spends on technology-based products.

62% say their child spends the right amount of time on their device.
25% of parents whose child plays video games says their child spends too much time doing this.
24% say their child spends too much time on a smartphone.
20% of parents whose child is on social media, says they spend too much time on this activity.

Monitoring screen time.

The majority of parents (70%) are very confident they know what their child posts on social media.

67% know what their child watches on television.

67% know what video games their child plays.

57% know what websites their child visits. 51% know what online videos their child is watching.

Consequences.

86% of parents limit when and how long their child can use screens. 80% also "ground" their child's activity online when needed.

When devices are used.

84% of parents say it's okay to use devices while riding in the car.

37% of parents say it's okay to use devices before bedtime.

29% when dining out at a restaurant.

13% while dining at home.

Online Dangers.

63% of parents say they are concerned about their child being the target of online predators.

60% are concerned about their child accessing sexually explicit content.

59% are concerned their child might access violent content.

56% are concerned their child could be bullied online.

Many parents also struggle with keeping a balance with technology. More than half of parents who have at least one child under the age of 18 (but who may also have adult children) say they spend too much time on their smartphone (56%), with smaller shares saying this about the amount of time they spend on social media (36%) or playing video games (11%).

Mothers (61%) are more likely than fathers (49%) to say they spend too much time on their smartphone.

Sharenting (sharing pictures of your children online) is a way today's parents can easily share information with family and friends. 76% of parents say they do this. There is a small percentage of parents who do not share pictures of their children online. Here's why they say they don't do this...

76% don't want other peoplet to have their information.

71% don't want companies collecting data on them or their children.

55% are just not interested.

29% don't want to be judged.

Advice. Here's where young parents go for advice...

66% go to doctors and other medical professionals

61% ask other parents

45% go to teachers

40% go to parenting sites

38% go to books or magazines

29% go to social media

19% go to online parenting boards

I trust seeing this data will help you minister to parents and their children more effectively. Technology is a major factor in parenting today. What a great opportunity we have to come alongside parents and encourage and equip them to navigate raising children in today's world.

The Benefits of Criticism

8:17 AM Dale Hudson

Criticism. No one enjoys it. But it's part of life. Especially if you are a leader. If you try to accomplish anything, you will have someone criticize you.

There's two ways you can look at criticism. As a blessing of leading or as a burden of leading.

The question is not "will you be criticized?" But rather, how will you look at criticism and how will you respond to it.

This will determine if the criticism ends up being a blessing for you or a burden for you.

It's all about how you receive it.

For many people, their first reaction is anger. Is that you? I have to raise my hand and say "yes" that has been me at times.

When you begin to see criticism as a blessing, it will change your entire attitude about it. Here's how to see criticism as a blessing.

Keep an open mind. Most often we immediately begin to resist the complainer.

No matter how far off the criticism is (and that's often), see it as a gift that can make you a better leader. Somewhere in the midst of the criticism, there is a nugget of truth that you can learn from and grow from.

Stay humble. Don't let your pride take over. You haven't arrived yet.

Invite dialogue. Be proactive and before you make a major change or adjustment, take time to talk to key leaders (and critics) and ask their opinion about the initiative you are getting ready to present. By doing this you will begin to see opposition as a regular and important part of the decision-making process.

Here's an example of questions you can ask.

How do you feel about the change?

What do you think about the change? What's your take on it?

What does the change mean for you personally?

What was your first reaction when you heard about the change?

Ask those who are normally "yes" people to think of and share an opposing view. If you are a secure leader, you will be open to exploring all sides and views of an idea or initiative.

Think through every possible question and prepare an answer.

Remember this when you get criticized. People simply want the opportunity to be heard. Show that you care about their concerns. See things from their point of view. Instead of trying to pull them into your shoes, step into theirs. See where they are coming from. Show that you understand their feelings about the change.

Ask yourself these questions:

Do I understand who the people are that are criticizing me?

Do I understand why they are criticizing me?

Am I offering options and alternatives that will help them move forward?

Often people that criticize your leadership, simply want to know you care about them and their complaints. When you invite open dialogue, you help break down the criticism.

You can get many more tips on leading well in my new book "Lead Well in Children's Ministry." It covers 10 key areas of leading well in children's ministry. You can save yourself from making a lot of key mistakes by reading this book. I cover these areas of leadership in the book:

Lead yourself well.
Lead team members well.
Lead the ministry well.
Lead parents well.
Lead change well.
Lead through challenges well.
Lead up well.
Lead multi-site well.
Lead the next generation well.
Lead well for the future.

The book is available now in ebook and paperback formats. You can order it at this link.

How do you see criticism? As a burden or a blessing. Perhaps your answer is you see it as both. That could be true as well. How do you deal with criticism? How do you respond to it? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.