RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Pew Research recently released stats for the current state of the American Family.

• Less than half (46%) of kids under 18 are living in a home with two married heterosexual parents in their first marriage compared to 73% in 1960 and 61% in 1980. 

• The number of children born outside of marriage is 41%. 

• 15% of children are living with two parents who are in a remarriage.  

• 34% of children today are living with an unmarried parent—up from just 9% in 1960, and 19% in 1980. 

• 5% of children are not living with either parent and in most cases are living with a grandparent.

What does this mean for us in children and family ministry?

Ministering to today's families is no longer cookie-cutter, one-size-fits-all ministry.  If you are reaching your community, you are going to have a very diverse group of families.  You will not only have kids who come from a traditional family, but you will also have kids whose parents are cohabiting, kids from blended families, kids from single parent homes, kids from same-sex households and kids living with their grandparents.

We are called to meet families where they are, love them, wrap our arms around them and provide pathways of grace and growth.  Yes, it gets messy at times, but that's what Jesus loves.  That's the kind of ministry He had when He was on earth and that's the kind of ministry He is continuing today through us.

Let's keep reaching families!  

What picture comes to mind when you think of a "typical" family?

A bread-winner dad?  Stay at home mom?  Couple of kids?

Maybe 30 years ago...but not today.  There is no "typical" family.  Family structures are very complicated.  Research shows that no one dominant structure exists for families.

Kids are living in homes with married parents,  divorced mothers, never-married mothers, single fathers, grandparents, cohabiting parents, and a range of other situations.

In the 1950's, if you chose 100 children, 65 would have been living with married parents with the father employed and the mother at home.  Only 18 would have had both parents working.

Today, if you chose 100 children, just 22 would be living with married parents where the father is the bread-winner.  23 would be living with a single mother.  7 would be living with parents who are cohabiting.

6 would live with either a single father or grandparent.  34 would be living with married parents who both work.

Are you prepared to minister to today's families?

Let me preface this post by saying I love the wisdom, faithfulness, and depth that older Christ-followers bring to a church.  At 47, I have some gray hair myself.

That being said, if your church is primarily made up of people with gray hair, it is not a healthy situation.  Here's why...

1. Healthy families are made up of all generations - grandparents...parents...teenagers...kids...
grandkids.  It's the same with healthy churches.

2. A predominately gray-haired church is not reaching the next generation.  We are called to reach the next generation with the Gospel.

3.  A gray-haired church has more than likely lost touch with the culture.  Most gray-haired churches were once relevant and were reaching young families.  But as the culture changed, they keep doing things the same way they did them to reach young families....in the 70's & 80's.

The result...the young families they reached back then have aged into senior adults, but they have reached very few, if any, young families in today's culture.

4.  Many gray-haired churches are living on past blessings.  If you talk more about what God USED to do in your church than about what He IS doing now, things are unhealthy. 

5.  A church that only has a few, if any, kids is not healthy.  A healthy church will be made up of at least 15-20% kids.  That means if you have 100 people attending your church, at least 15-20 of them should be kids.

6.  Many gray-haired churches have older pastors.  This is not a blanket statement.  There are churches with older pastors who are reaching young families.  But in many cases where the church is not reaching the next generation, the pastor is in his 60's.  Normally a pastor will draw adults who are either 10 years younger or older than he is.  Young pastors reach young families. 

I want to challenge you to take a look at your church.  How much gray-hair do you see?  Hopefully lots.  But hopefully you also see just as many people who are younger.

How do you attract young families to your church?  In Magnetic Family Ministry I share some principals that wlil help you reach young families.  You can check it out at this link.

So what do you think?  Is a gray-haired congregation unhealthy?  If so, what can they do to reach the next generation?  Share your thoughts with us below. 

Kids, parents, and grandparents are using the internet in a variety of ways.  It's important to know how each generation is wired in so you can connect with them effectively.

The following infographic will give you a good picture of generational internet involvement.

A recent report from Pew Research shows that 1 in 10 children are living with a grandparent.

Children younger than 6 are more likely than older children to live with or be cared for by a grandparent: 14% of those below age 6 are co-residing with a grandparent, and 6% are being cared for by a grandparent.

Among older children, about 9% are living with a grandparent, and 4% are being cared for primarily by a grandparent.

Children who are cared for primarily by a grandparent are more likely to be living below the poverty line (28% versus 17%) and have lower median household income ($36,000 versus $48,000) than children who are not being cared for primarily by a grandparent.

In 80% of the cases where children are living with a grandparent, at least one of the child’s parents is also in the household. 

Some 7 million grandparents are living with a grandchild—an increase of 22% from 2000, when fewer than 6 million grandparents were living with a grandchild.

The sharp increase in the number of grandchildren living with their grandparents, and in some cases being cared for by them, mirrors other trends in family and household structure that have emerged since 2007 as apparent strategies to gird against financial hardship.

What does this mean for children's ministry?

• We must be sensitive to the needs of children who are living with their grandparents.

• We must encourage and support grandparents who are raising their grandchildren.  Parenting one generation is a challenge, parenting two generations consecutively is a large task.

• We must continue to equip, encourage, and empower parents so they can successfully fulfill their role.

•  We must meet families where they are...including grandfamilies...and be the arms of Jesus wrapping around them.  

Okay.  Your turn.  Think about these questions and share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Do you have grandfamilies in your ministry?

What are some things you are doing to minister to grandparents?

How can we more effectively encourage, equip, and empower grandparents ?