RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Across the country, there are churches closing their doors or merging with other churches.  What once was a thriving, exciting church now is lightly populated with a few faithful people whose only praise reports come from previous decades.

Why is this happening?  Why are they on a steady downhill slide?  Why are these churches dying?   

In many, if not in all of these churches, are people who are clinging to the past.  Not willing to change what is obviously not working anymore.  All they know is what used to work is not working now.  But changing things up would take them out of their comfort zone and that is not something they are willing to do.

As time passes, the church gets grayer and grayer.  Rooms that used to be bustling with children now sit in silence.  The nursery, that used to be alive with the sounds of little ones, is never disturbed by those sounds now.

The silence of no crying...affirms that a church is dying. 

One thing is for sure.  If a church is clinging to the past, it will not last.  We are not living in the 1950's.  And when people walk into a church that is still operating like it is 1950, they have a hard time connecting with a day that is long gone.

These churches mean well.  They want to reach people.  They want to see the next generation come to Jesus.  They want their hallways to be filled with young families.  But not enough to make the changes that are necessary to stay relevant and effective.

We should honor the past.  Be thankful for the past.  Learn from the past.  But not get stuck in the past.

Recently, I visited a church that had no kids.  No babies.  No preschoolers.  No elementary kids.  No teenagers.  As I sat in their service I couldn't help but think about how their church is already dead and they don't even know it.  When the few gray haired members pass away, there will be no church left.

I know it's not always easy for older generations to change.  But they must.  They must realize that it's not about them.  It's about passing on their faith to the next generation.  It's about their children.  It's about their grandchildren.  It's about future generations.

Cling to the Gospel.  Cling to God's Word.  But let go of what is no longer effective.  If you don't, the ministry will not last.

Our message must not change...but our methods must change to stay relevant for today's families.

We must stay anchored to the truth, but be geared for the future. 

I drive by another church where I live on Sunday mornings and see the same 10 to 12 cars there each week.  What's sad is it used to be a growing, thriving church.  There used to be many young families attending.  There used to be an excitement and passion for families that you could sense when you walked in the doors.

But not anymore.  They are down to a small handful of people attending.  Few, if any kids are there.

Somewhere along the way, they decided to cling to the past.  Surely if their methods worked in the 70's, it will still work today.  But, sadly they are finding out the hard way that past success does not ensure future success.

That's why every week we must ask these questions.

• What is working well?  
• What needs to be changed or dropped?
• What are some stories about lives being changed this week?  

Are you willing to let go of the past, so your church will have a future?

Are you willing to stop spending time on what is no longer effective?

Are you willing to look forward instead of backwards?

Your church's best days can be now and in the future, if you're willing to spend more time looking out the front window instead of staring in the rear view mirror.

What's back there was good...in its day.  But what God has for your church in the future will be even better if you're willing to change and walk into the future. 

I am often asked by younger leaders, "How do I lead people who are older and more experienced than I am?"

Now that I'm in my late 40's and have been leading for over 26 years, I don't face that situation quite as often.  But I can definitely relate to it.  Seems just yesterday, I was a young leader interacting with people who had been doing ministry longer than I had been alive.

Looking back, here's some tips I wish I'd known.  I trust it will be a help to younger leaders who are reading this as well as older leaders who want to encourage the next generation.

Create teamwork through collaboration.  Since you are younger and less experienced, people will not always trust your ideas and opinions.  The key to overcoming this is collaboration.  Don't just shove ideas and initiatives down from the top.  Instead, gather ideas and opinions from people, work through them together and then move forward with what rises to the top.  Collaboration will help you create the teamwork you need in place as a young leader. 

Gain knowledge through feedback.  Your lack of experience will naturally lead to people questioning your expertise, skill and knowledge.  Make this an advantage instead of a disadvantage through feedback.  Be intentional about asking for feedback about your performance and seek ways to digest and implement it.  Older leaders will not think less of you for this.  In fact, it will cause them to respect you and follow you. 

Build trust through integrity.  Older leaders will struggle to see you as a role model since you don't have a proven track record.  Start building a track record people can trust by walking your talk, keeping your promises and being honest. 

Deepen relationships through care.  Older leaders will not open their heart to you because of your title.  They will open their heart to your leadership because they know you care about them.  Show them you care by taking an interest in them personally and investing time in them.  Show them you care more about them as a person than about what they do.

Encourage through inspiration.  Sometimes older leaders struggle with complacency, discouragement and even burnout.  As a young leader, you can tap into the excitement and energy of your youth to inspire them.  Help them break out of the box they may be in and help them stretch for more.

Honor the past while pointing to the future.  Older leaders tend to reflect on the past.  This will be heard in statements like "we've always done it that way" or "we tried something like that and it didn't work" or  "we don't like change" or "remember how great it was when."

If you disregard or refuse to honor the past, older leaders will not follow you into the future.  The future is built on a foundation of gratitude for the past.

The floor is yours. 
Are you a young leader?  
What are you thoughts?  
What other questions do you have?
Are you an older leader?  
What other advice do you have for younger leaders?  
Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

We live in a unique time in history.  The next generation knows more than their parents and grandparents in some areas of life like technology.

Great leaders know this and not only learn from their elders, but from the next generation as well.

It's important to learn from those who have walked the path before you, but when it comes to learning about the future, you need the help of the next generation.

Reverse mentoring can be informal but takes intentionality.  You must spend time with the next generation and ask lots of questions.

What music are you listening to?

What technology are you using?

What movies are you watching?

What toys are you playing with?

What social media are you using?

What games are you playing?

Where do you spend time online?

Engaging in reverse mentoring has many benefits. 

• It's a shortcut to staying relevant to the culture.
• It helps you understand the next generation.
• It helps you connect with the next generation. 
• It makes your ministry more effective. 
• It extends your ministry.  

How do you connect with the next generation?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.  

"We change every day.  We changed every day when he was here, and we’ve been changing every day since he’s not been here.  I don’t think the values should change.  But everything else can change.  Yes, there will be things where we say something and two years later we’ll feel totally different.  Actually, there may be things we say that we may feel totally different about in a week.  We’re okay with that.  Actually, we think it’s good that we have the courage to admit it." 
-Tim Cook, CEO of Apple

If your children's ministry is going to be ready for the future, it's vital that you have this same mindset.  I personally know ministries that were once thriving, but are now dead because they either weren't prepared or willing to change.

Here are 10 ways you can be prepared for the future.

Communicate with parents and volunteers via their smartphones.  The average person checks their smartphone 150 times a day.  Children's ministries that stay connected to parents and volunteers will do so through their smartphones.

Go small.  Small is the new big.  Children's ministries that are effective will grow big and small at the same time.  As they grow in size, they will find ways to keep people connected to small groups of people inside the larger ministry.  This doesn't mean churches should stay small numerically.  As long as there are still people to reach, churches should be growing.  But it does mean they should stay small culturally.

Less paper...more digital.  Paper is fading fast.  Since 2000, newspapers have lost $40 billion dollars in advertising.  Bookstores are becoming a thing of the past.  Mail delivery has dropped from 250 million pieces in 2006 to 50 million pieces in recent years.  Children's ministries must continue moving away from paper registrations, take home papers, flyers, etc.

Multi-site.  Multi-site is not a fad.  It's here to stay and will continue to expand rapidly.  More and more churches will continue to go multi-site and children's ministries must be ready to make the leap as well.

On-line services.   More and more churches will broadcast their services online.  Up to this point, you can count on one hand the number of children's ministries that also make their services available online.  The issue in the past has been children not being able to watch services at the same time as their parents due to computer limitations.  But with the tsunami of tablets, family members can watch multiple online services at the same time.  Children's ministries must step up and start making their services and classes available online.

Excellent customer service.  Customer service is becoming more and more important to families.  Businesses lost $83 billion dollars last yer due to poor costumer service.  70% of families say they return to a business based on how they are treated.  Children's ministries that reach families will excel at providing a great first-time guest experience.

Safety and security.  Safety and security will continue to be a top priority for parents.  Children's ministries must be prepared with top notch check-in/check-out systems, secure buildings and well-thought out safety plans.

Free wi-fi.  The demand for free wi-fi in public places will continue to grow.  Children's ministries must have free connectivity available for parents and volunteers.

Discipleship tools for parents.  The good news...the time parents are spending with their children is increasing.  Mothers are spending more time with their children now than mothers did in the 1960's.  And the time fathers are spending with their children has tripled.  This opens the door for children's ministries to provide parents with discipleship tools they can use during this time.  Much work has been done in this area, but much more needs to be done.  The key?  Creating something that parents will actually use to disciple their kids.

Urban children's ministry.  At the time of this writing, there are 7.25 billion people living on the planet.  3.9 billion of them live in urban areas.  But 2050, it is predicted that 6.4 billion people will live in urban areas.  To reach children, children's ministries must go where chidlren are...urban areas.

The future is fast approaching.  Are you ready?  What do you need to change or start doing?  Let's get busy.  Eternity is at stake for billions of children and families. 

USA Today reports that for the first time in history, fewer American babies are being born while the number of senior citizens is growing.

Baby Boomers are reaching retirement age, increasing the ranks of the elderly.  At the same time, women living without a spouse outnumber those who are married.  The result is a birth rate in decline.

Other countries have gone even further down that road.  The Russian government is offering incentives now for women who have babies.  Japan's birth rate has fallen so dramatically that the Japanese population has the oldest average age on earth.  Last year, more diapers were bought and used by aging Japanese than were purchased for babies.

Children are our future.  They are our springtime.  Their laughter and exuberance is a treasure.  Without them we become a culture of self-absorbed adults.

We must cherish and nourish families.  We must honor those who are investing themselves in children.  Children are a precious gift from God and our link to future generations.

Do you dread or totally avoid difficult conversations?  Many people do.  But they are necessary at times. 

You can improve your ability to have difficult conversations.  In fact, here's 3 simple words that can help you navigate even the most tense situations.

State the FACT.

Share how it makes you FEEL.

Explain what you'd like to change or adjust in the FUTURE.

Here's an example of using these three words.
You have a volunteer that is being brash and rude to parents when they come to pick up their kids. You've received several complaints.  You know you need to have a conversation with the person.

(state the fact) John, I've had several parents say you are rude to them when they come to pick up their child.  I stood by the door last week when parents were picking up and I did notice you were abrupt with several parents.

(share how it makes you feel) When you do this, it makes parents feel like you don't care about them or value them.  And it makes me feel like we're treating them as a bother instead of the blessing they are.

(explain what you'd like to change or adjust in the FUTURE) In the future, I'd like to encourage you to be more loving with your words and tone.  I know your heart.  You love kids and parents.  That's why are you serving.  I think sometimes it just gets lost in translation when you are under stress.

If you'll allow me, I'd like to invest in you and help you improve your people skills.  I have a great book that has helped me that I'd be glad to share with you.  I'd also like to spend some time with you in the next few weeks working on this.

Try using this approach when your next difficult situation arises.  It will give you confidence going into the conversation.