RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Have you noticed how Jesus walked toward the messiness of people's lives?

He walked toward the messiness of Zacchaeus' cheating.

He walked toward the messiness of the broken marriages of the woman at the well.

He walked toward the messiness of the immorality of the woman who was about to be stoned.

He walked toward the messiness of Peter's betrayal.

He walked toward the messiness of the publican's sinfulness.

He walked toward the messiness of Saul's hatred and unbelief.

When the Pharisees asked Jesus why He walked toward the messiness, He replied by saying...

“It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.  But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice.  For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”  (Matthew 9)

If you truly want to minister like Jesus, you will have to walk toward the messiness.  You will walk toward the messiness of couples living together unmarried.  You will walk toward the messiness of people struggling with addiction.  You will walk toward the messiness of people ensnared by immorality.  You will walk toward the messiness of people in financial upheaval.  You will walk toward the messiness of couples going through divorce.  You will walk toward the messiness of unbiblical worldviews.  You will walk toward the messiness of people who have made terrible decisions.  

The church is meant to be a spiritual emergency room...not a museum.  An emergency room is messy.  An emergency room is chaotic at times.  An emergency room can be intense.  An emergency room goes through life and death situations.  An emergency room constantly pushes you out of your comfort zone.  An emergency room is not for the faint of heart.

But it's where healing happens.  It's where hope is found in the midst of heartache.  It's where lives are saved.

The Pharisees criticized the messiness.  The Pharisees condemned the messiness.  The Pharisees walked away from the messiness.  That's why they got so upset with Jesus.  He walked toward it.  Join Him.  Walk toward the messiness.  That's where the miracles happen! 

A recent report from Barna research says there are over 156 million people in America who do not attend church including over 42 million children and teenagers.

In the last 10 years, the number of adults who do not attend church has increased by 30%.  This is an increase of 38 million people who are now unchurched.

Here are some characteristics of the unchurched...

They probably used to attend church.  Only about 24% have never attended church at any time in their life.  76% have firsthand experience with one or more churches and have decided they can better use their time in other ways.

There's a good chance they're cohabitating.  Unchurched adults are four times more likely to be cohabitating.

They are likely to be Gen X-ers (ages 34 to 49) or Boomers (ages 50 to 68).  Gen X-er's make up 33% of the unchurched and Boomers make up 35%.  This group is comprised of many families who have kids and grandkids.

They would probably consider themselves a "Christian."  Though they do not attend church, 62% consider themselves "Christians."  Many are still culturally tied to Christianity and are still interested in it.  34% would describe themselves as "deeply spiritual" and 41% say their faith is very important in their life.  33% say they have an active relationship with God that influences their life. 

As I read these stats, these thoughts are upon my heart...

Who wants to attend a dead church?   
76% have been to church and that's why they are not attending.  If a church is spiritually dead and not relevant to your life, why would you want to spend your Sundays there when you could be at the lake?

More than ever, our country needs churches that are thriving!  You see, where there is life, there is growth.  Where there is life, new families are being reached.  Where there is life, the baptism waters are being stirred.

Where does life come from?  The Spirit of God.  When the Holy Spirit is moving with power in a church, people will be drawn to it.

Churches must be a hospital instead of a museum. 
Our churches must be spiritual hospitals where people who are hurting and damaged by sin are welcomed with open arms and can find healing, forgiveness and love.

I wonder how many unchurched families have walked into a "museum" where they were snubbed by perfect Christians who were on display?

Could a family who is cohabitating walk into your church and feel accepted?  Before you get upset, notice I said accepted...not approved.   There is a difference between acceptance and approval.  No, we do not approve of the lifestyle, but yes, we can love them and accept them just as they are.  If we can allow them to belong before they believe, we can reach them.  Remember, Jesus cleans his fish after He catches them.

Churches must make children's ministry and reaching kids a top priority.  
The stats show that the biggest percentage of the unchurched are families with kids.  I believe the key to reaching the biggest majority of unchurched families is by reaching their kids.  I have personally seen it happen again and again.  God can use a child to bring their parents to Christ.

As you look across the country, you will find that churches that are growing and reaching people have dynamic children's ministries.

When you take a child by the hand...you take a parent by the heart. 

Churches must help people see it's about relationship instead of religion.
As you look at the stats, you can see that a big percentage of the unchurched are simply tired of "religion."  We must emphasize by word and deed that Jesus is the missing relationship that they are searching for. 

I sat yesterday with 4 of our new volunteers.  They all had some things in common.  Until recently, they were part of the unchurched percentage.  They had been raised in churches where it was all about tradition, rules, chanting meaningless prayers and kneeling at the appropriate time.  And as soon as the decision was theirs, they ran from it.

Over time, their journeys had led them to our church.  Some came by the invitation of a friend, some came when they were going through a hard time and realized they were missing something and some came because a co-worker invited them.

They had then discovered a true relationship with Jesus and their lives had been transformed.  They found a church family where they could grow, learn and serve.  They are now out of the "unchurched" category and part of our church...ready to serve and reach others with the love and message of Jesus Christ.

These are some of the things it will take to reach the unchurched family in your neighborhood.

The floor is yours.  What else will it take to reach the unchurched in our neighborhoods?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

The first impression truly is a lasting impression.  Make a bad first impression with guests and they're probably not coming back.  "Follow up" normally can't overcome a bad first impression.

So if you want to ruin your first impression with guests...here's how...

Make them guess where to go.  Don't have any signage on the outside or inside of the building.  They'll figure it out.

Give them the worst parking spot.  Save the best parking for staff and members.

Place unfriendly people as greeters.  Give them the experience of being greeted by the wicked witch of the west.

Make them wait in long lines.  It will teach them patience, right?

Tell them where to go instead of walking them there.  Again...they can figure it out.

Ignore them.  Just look at them like they are an alien.

Don't talk to them.  Stay engaged in conversation with your huddle of friends.  If they come long enough, they'll eventually make some friends.

Make them feel like they are a bother.  If they ask you a question, answer the question, but let them know by your demeanor that you are busy and they are bothering you.

Put their children in an overcrowded room.  Ratios don't matter.  Pack'em in with a grin.

Don't ask if their children have allergies.  If they have allergies, it will become obvious when they have a reaction.

Don't have a secure check-in/check-out system in place.  They know who their kids are and they'll point them out to you at check-out.

Tell them they are sitting in your seat.  You've sat in that seat since 1965.  You donated the money for it and your name is on a plaque at the end of the pew.  They can find somewhere else to sit.

Talk at them instead of to them.  "Hi" and "welcome" are enough.  You don't have time for any meaningful conversation.  You've got to beat everyone else to the restaurant buffet.

Don't bend any rules for them.  Check-in for children closed 5 minutes ago.  They should have gotten here on time if they wanted to check-in their children.

Ask if they want to volunteer.  You're desperate for volunteers and they are breathing.  Go ahead and ask them.  It doesn't matter if it's their first visit.

Don't have anyone who looks like them or is in the same season of life.  Limit your congregation to one ethnicity and age range.

Return their child with an unchanged diaper.  They can change the diaper themselves. 

Point them out during the service.  Have them raise their hands or better yet...stand up.

Smother them.  Be like a used car salesman.  Let them know you are here to "close the deal" on them joining your church.

Be solemn and serious.  This is God's house.  Don't smile or even think about laughing or telling a joke.  You want to let them know how spiritual your church is.

Your turn.  What are some other ways to ruin your first impression with guests?