RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

 

You feel like you've had enough. You've given it your all and yet it never seems to be enough.

You've experienced doubt, heartache, betrayal, mistrust, and devalue. 

You are so discouraged that you can't see a way back to the joy and passion that once fueled you in your ministry. 

You have done your best to keep this hidden. Fake smiles. Saying the right things to those who ask how you are doing. But knowing inside things are not okay.

You are on the verge of quitting. Before you quit, would you consider these 10 things. 

You're not the only one that has experienced this.

We've all been discouraged at times. It's part of the journey. The most popular, polished pastors you see have been discouraged at times. The pastors that lead megachurches have been discouraged and have wanted to quit before.  

I know...Monday morning never seems to be your friend. You look back at the weekend and you are encouraged by some things and discouraged by other things.  Sometimes the discouraging things cover up the blessings. 

Remember what God told Elijah when he was discouraged and ready to quit.  He told him there were thousands of other people that had not bent their knee to the dire circumstances they found themselves in. 

So...consider this before you quit. Many others have faced what you are facing. 

God called you and His call is still on your life. 

When you are discouraged it can cause you to doubt your calling. Go back and visit your calling. Remember when and how God called you into ministry. His calling is without repentance.  

This too shall pass. 

You may not be able to see it now, but your discouragement will pass if you remain diligent. We all go through seasons and periods of ups and downs. Don't make any rash decisions while you are in a valley. You may be walking in the valley right now, but the mountaintop will be yours again. 

God hasn't called you to be successful. He has called you to be faithful.

The Bible doesn't say we will hear "well done good and faithful leader." Rather we will hear "well done good and faithful servant."  

Stay faithful.  Don't give up! Don't quit!  

God is with you...even when you don't feel like it.

You may feel like God has removed His hand and blessings from your ministry. You may feel like your prayers aren't going any higher than the ceiling. You may feel like God has put you on the shelf and is done with you. 

But that is not the case. He is with you in the valleys and the mountaintops. When you feel like He has forgotten you, be reminded that "He will never leave your or forsake you." 

Failure isn't the end. 

Maybe your discouragement and reason you want to quit is due to a failure. You tried to start a new ministry initiative and it failed. The ministry you are leading is not growing...it is actually shrinking. 

We all fail at times. The important thing is to get back up. You may have been knocked down numerous times and it has stolen your confidence. Ask God to renew your spirit. Ask God to empower you to move forward.  

You may have failed...but He is not done with you.  

Get with Jesus.

Remember when David was in danger of being stoned to death as a leader? Talk about a bad day. Talk about a discouraging day. But it goes on to say that "David encouraged himself in the Lord."

The person who can breathe encouragement into your life is Jesus.  Run to Him. Get with Him. Spend time with Him. Talk to Him. 

To get back to a good place, you are going to have to spend time with Jesus. In His presence is fullness of joy. In His presence is divine encouragement. In His presence you will regain your passion for ministry. 

Guard your heart. 

Proverbs 4:23 reminds that our number one job is to guard our hearts. 

Guard against bitterness. Guard against anger. Guard against jealousy. Guard against vengance.

The enemy will try to destroy your heart for ministry. The enemy will try to steal away the joy in your heart. The enemy will try to diminish your passion for serving Jesus. The enemy will try to whisper your failures to you. 

People will hurt you. Don't let it make you bitter. People that you have invested in will walk away from you. Don't let it make you discouraged. People will lie about you. Don't let it make you angry. Guard your heart and walk humbly with Jesus.  

Getting rest will help you push reset.

Often when I get discouraged it is because I am tired. It is when I have worked way to many hours. It is when I have not used my vacation days. It is when I have not taken my day off.  

Taking care of yourself physically can help you push reset. Talking care of yourself mentally can help you push reset. Having hobbies or fun things you do can help relieve stress. Many years ago I went through a rough time in ministry. I almost had to stop doing ministry  A big part of that was because I wasn't pushing the reset button by getting rest. You can read more of my journey at this link. 

Take some time off. Even God took a day off after He created everything. 

Talk to someone. 

You weren't meant to do ministry alone. Have trusted friends you can talk with when you feel like quitting. 

If you are considering leaving ministry or if you are discouraged, I pray this post has been helpful. If you'd like to connect and talk more about this, feel free to contact me at dale@buildingchildrensministry.com.  

I want you and I to be able to say what Paul said in 2 Timothy. 

"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." 

Consider this...before you quit.  

Many people who are not involved in children's ministry have some assumptions about children's ministry that are simply not true. 

Here are 10 myths that people looking in from the outside still believe. 

Myth #1 - People don't want to serve in children' ministry.

Yes they do. You just haven't personally asked them to. 

Will everyone say "yes?" No. But if you consistently ask people, you will find people who will say "yes." Often we have not, because we ask not. Don't listen to people who say otherwise. You can build a strong volunteer team if you want it bad enough and are willing to pay the price.  

Myth #2 - Children can't serve until they get older.

They tell children to sit still and be quiet. So kids grow up with that mentality and then we wonder why as adults they sit still and are quiet at church.  It's because we told them to.

Kids can serve. Kids can make an impact. Kids can be used by God. 

Kids can help teach lessons. Kids can serve as greeters. Kids can lead worship. Kids can go on mission trips. Kids can run a/v during services.  Kids can be part of a prayer team. There are so many ways kids can serve.  

Think about how God used kids in the Bible. The boy who Jesus used to feed 5,000 people. The little maid who led Namaan to be healed.  

Give kids the opportunity to serve and watch how God uses them.  

Myth #3 - Kids have to be sitting still and quiet to learn.

This comes from a lecture-style model of learning. Kids are made to sit still while someone talks on and on and on.  

But the truth is lecturing is the worst way to teach kids. Kids only remember about 5% of the information when someone lectures them. But when you teach them through active, hands on, learner based methods their retention rate can go up 95%. 

Myth #4 - Parents won't prioritize their children's discipleship.

Yes. Families are busy. Yes. In many cases parents get their priorities wrong. They put other things before their child's discipleship. Sports. Activities. Entertainment. 

But yes. Parents will respond when we encourage them to prioritize their child's discipleship.  Parents are the biggest spiritual influence in their child's life. The influence will either be positive or negative. It is crucial to have a plan to influence the influencers. 

One of the best ways to influence parents is through spiritual milestones. These are key times in the life of a family when you have the opportunity to influence them. You can get more details about spiritual milestones at this link.  

Myth #5 - Kids can't have a relationship with Jesus until they are older. 

There is no certain age of accountability. It will vary from child to child. But kids can accept Jesus as their Savior. Yes. It is vital that they understand the decision they are making. I created a class called Starting Point that kids attend with their parents. This class unpacks for kids what it means to know and follow Jesus. You can get more information about the Starting Point class at this link. 

As Jesus said, "suffer the little children to come to Me and do not hinder them." The Bible says we must have the faith of a child to come to Christ.  

Kids can know and follow Jesus.  

Myth #6 - The best way to enlist new volunteers is by begging people to serve. 

If we show people how desperate we are for volunteers, they will sign up to serve. Actually the opposite is true. People are not drawn to desperation. Rather they are drawn to vision and a purpose. 

Stop using words like please, help, and need. No one wants to get on the Titanic. Start inviting people to join you to make an impact and leave a legacy through their serving.

Myth #7 - Kids should not have fun at church.

Listen as parents pick up their children after Sunday School or kids' church.  

Most of the time you will hear parents ask their children this question:

Did you have fun today?

Fun at church. What exactly does that mean?  What are parents really asking their children? 

When they ask "Did you have fun today" what they are really asking is...

Did you have any friends there?

Was the teaching relevant to your life?

Did they get your attention?

Did anyone pray for you?  

Fun means so much more than fun.  If fun means solely that children are entertained, then we've fallen way short of what we should be seeking to accomplish during class time. 

Fun means sharing God's Word with children in a way that captures their attention and engages their heart, mind, and soul.  Fun means you teach children using the methods they learn best by. 

The opposite of fun is boredom. Boredom happens when children's ministry leaders try to teach children using outdated methods. When boredom sets in, children will begin to squirm, talk, and disengage.  If your teaching is boring, kids will invent their own interactive curriculum.

Myth #8 - Kids won't sit still long enough for extended times of prayer.

Several years ago I was invited to speak at a conference in Jakarta, Indonesia.  The church where the conference was held was amazing. They had over 12,000 people attending in a country that is 98% Muslim.  

Guess how many staff members they had? 2! The pastor and his administrative assistant. How were they doing this? What was the secret? I was soon to find out.

During one of the services, they took me down to a room. In the room, there were over 20 kids on their knees praying for God to move in the service.  The children do this every week.  Praying intensely for over an hour.

They challenged me when it comes to kids and prayer. If you will get kids on their knees and lead them to pray, they will respond.  

Myth #9 - Put the youngest kids up front when you are teaching.  

I did this for years. But then I read this quote from Walt Disney. 

It was the first entertainment that Walt Disney had ever designed expressly for children. ‘But we’re not going to talk down to the kids…let’s aim for the twelve-year-old. The younger ones will watch…they’ll want to see what their older brothers and sisters are looking at.'

Before I saw this quote from Walt, I would put the youngest kids up front and the older kids in the back. That was a mistake. When older kids see "little" kids in front of them, they will disengage because it appears to be for the little kids. 

Flip that. Put the oldest kids up front. This will help you engage all of the kids. Younger kids will look up front and see the older kids are engaging and it will cause everyone to engage. 

If older kids are bored with your lessons or events or programs, try this simple idea from Walt and you will see immediate results.

#10 - The next generation doesn't care about following Jesus.

Yes they do. God is moving in the hearts and lives of the next generation.  They want you to challenge them and inspire them. They want to know Jesus. They want to walk with Him. Yes...they are facing things we never faced as children but God is with them. He is doing something fresh and new in the next generation. 

Do you believe any of these myths? Prayerfully reconsider. The next generation is looking to you. Show them what it means to love and follow Jesus passionately.  

What are the elements of a successful children's ministry?

I believe there are 3 big ways you can measure the effectiveness of a children's ministry. 

Let's take a look at these. 

FAITH. 

Successful children's ministries main focus is reaching kids with the Gospel and seeing them discipled. 

The ultimate goal of every children's ministry should be rooted and grounded in the great commission.

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."  Matthew 28: 18-20

Children are the greatest mission field in the world. We know that the majority of people who come to Christ do so before they are 18 years old.  We have a short window of time to reach children with the Gospel.

You can do a lot of things in your children's ministry, but the bottom line is this - Are you reaching kids with the Gospel?  Are you then helping them grow in their relationship with Jesus? 

We must keep the main thing the main thing.

When it comes to curriculum, make sure you are using a curriculum that regularly shares the Gospel as part of the lesson. If the curriculum you are using does not share the Gospel consistently, then you should find one that does or start writing it into the curriculum yourself. 

There are lots of truths, Bible verses, and lessons we can share from the Bible. But nothing is more important than sharing the Gospel with kids.

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes."  Romans 1:16

I believe without salvation there is no success in children's ministry.

Dare to ask yourself these questions. 

How often am I sharing the Gospel with kids?

Am I seeing kids come to Christ and follow Him in baptism on a regular basis?

If the baptistry is dry...what is the cause of this?

Do I have clear steps mapped out for kids who express an interest in accepting Jesus into their life?

If you need help with this - check out Starting Line. It's a salvation class that kids and parents attend together. Churches across the country are using this resource to reach kids and families. You can get more information and order it at this link. 

FUN

I believe kids should have fun at church. I have met many people over the years who say, "I'm not going to church because I was made to go as a child."  Newsflash...you don't have to make someone go where they enjoy being.

I've never heard anyone say, "I'm not going to Disney World because I was made to go as a child." They didn't want to go because it was boring and irrelevant to their life.

In recent years, there was been some push back about trying to make children's ministry fun for kids. Negative statements about parents asking their children if they had "fun" at church when they pick them up.

Hang on a minute. David said this about the house of the Lord in Psalm 122:1.

"I was GLAD when they said to me, 'Let us go to the house of the LORD'!" 

He didn't say he was sad. He said he was glad. 

How do we help kids be glad to go to the house of the Lord?  We create fun, creative environments that God uses to engage kids. 

BTW - when parents are asking their kids if they had fun at church, they are not just asking was it a party or environment where it was all fun and games. What they are saying is this...

Did they capture your attention today?  Did they engage you?  Was it relevant to your life? Did you learn anything significant.

Let's not hide behind excuses for not making church a relevant and engaging experience for kids. 

Cloaked in the fun factor is ministry that engages this new generation of kids. Fun doesn't have to mean "shallow" or "entertainment." It doesn't have to be one or the other. You can have fun and depth at the same time. I believe fun helps kids engage in discipleship. 

Bill Maher is a well known atheist.  He is very adamant against the things of God.  He even went so far as producing a movie called "Religulous." The movie follows Bill as he travels globally to question and satirize religious beliefs.  

In the movie he talks about going to church as a child. His words...

"I hated going because it was boring."

"I didn't quit because of any ideological idea...I quit because it wasn't relevant to my life."

I wonder...if he had been part of a relevant children's ministry as a child, would his life have taken a different route?

I believe that successful children's ministries do a great job at blending fun and discipleship. In other words, they make discipleship fun. 

There are some little Bills sitting in your children's ministry right now. Will you make your ministry fun and relevant to their life?  Their future as a Christ follower could hinge on it. 

FAMILY 

One big element that successful children's ministries have is family. This is all about relationships.

The ministry is a place that welcomes people and helps them become part of a faith family.

The ministry is a place that connects with parents and involves them in the discipleship pathway. 

The ministry is a place where volunteers serve alongside friends. 

The ministry is a place where children are known and cared for. 

The ministry is a place where children ministry volunteers are there for each other.

Listen closely to any successful children's ministry and you will hear the faint whisper of the song "We are family!"

So there you have it. 3 big elements of a successful children's ministry. I hope this has been a help and encouragement to you.  Take some time to think about these 3 elements.  Are they active in your ministry? 

What are some other elements of a successful children's ministry. Would love to hear your thoughts and insight. You can share in the comment section below.  

There are lots of ways you can try to build your volunteer team. I've tried them all over the years.  

Church announcements.

Bulletin ads.

Video appeals. 

Handouts to parents. 

Most of these attempts fall short and are not effective ways to build a volunteer team. 

So what is the best way to build a volunteer team?  

I believe it is personal, 1-1 asks.

Did you know that 93% of people who are serving are there because someone personally asked them to serve?  Think about it. There's a great chance that you are personally serving in children's ministry because someone asked you to join them in serving.

This is the way Jesus built His team. He went to the disciples one at a time and asked them to follow Him. 

Yes. This means what you may be thinking. It takes a lot of hard work to build a great volunteer team. 

Volunteer enlistment can't be a one and done.  

You will always need more volunteers.  You will always need to be enlisting new volunteers. 

Building a great volunteer team means enlisting people 52 weeks a year.  That's it plain and simple.

Personal asks works. At one of the churches where I served, we had around 300 volunteers when I arrived. As a staff team, we decided to make volunteer enlistment our top priority. We did this and started asking people to join our team each week. Week in and week out, we made the asks. 

After 9 years of doing this, we looked up and we had over 2,000 volunteers on our team. We didn't set out to have 2,000 volunteers. We set out to be faithful to ask people to serve. One ask at a time.  

I don't mean to sound harsh, but if you aren't asking people to join your team on a regular basis, then stop complaining about not having enough volunteers.  You have not because you ask not.  

If I looked at your personal calendar, would it reflect that asking people to serve and investing in them is one of your top priorities?  

Set a goal to personally ask a certain amount of people each week to join your team. Does this mean everyone will say "yes?" No...of course not.  But I will promise you this...ask enough people and you will get some "yeses." 

This past weekend, I asked 3 people to serve with me in children's ministry.  Two of them said "no." But one of them said "yes." In the last 8 weeks, I have personally asked 21 people to join our volunteer team.  14 of them have said "no." But 7 of them have said "yes." 

To get some "yeses" you have to step up to the plate and swing. Trust me...make enough asks and you will get some "yeses."  Keep doing this week in and week out. If you will do this consistently, a year from now, you will thrilled with how your team has grown. 

When you make the asks, first pray and ask God to lead you to people He has already been speaking to about serving. 

Here's an example. Two weeks ago, I was in the auditorium before the service started.  I was looking at the back rows. I have found that people who aren't connected or involved yet tend to sit in the back of the auditorium. I saw a man sitting in the middle section by himself. I felt the Holy Spirit say, "there is the person I have prepared."  I obeyed and sat down with this man and began to talk with him. I asked him if he was serving anywhere."  He replied, "no."  I asked him if he would serve with us in children's ministry. He replied that he had been thinking about getting more connected by serving somewhere. He said "yes" to serving in children's ministry.

It was a divine appointment. See...I believe there are people in your church that God has been already been working on about serving. Ask Him to lead you to those people and you will be amazed at what will happen when you start asking people to serve.  

Have you read my book "The Formula for Building Great Volunteer Teams?" It is filled with proven ways to build and equip your volunteer team. You can get it at this link.