Apr 21, 2017

20 Bible Jokes Kids Will Love

Jokes are a great way to connect with kids.  Here are 20 Bible jokes you can tell kids individually or in a group setting.

Who was the shortest man in the Bible?  Nehemiah (knee-high-miah).

What time of day was Adam created?  A little before Eve.

When was medicine first mentioned in the Bible?  When God gave Moses two tablets.

What kind of car did the disciples drive?  A Honda - it says there were all in one accord.

Who was the biggest sinner in the Bible?  Moses.  He broke all 10 commandments at once,

Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?  David.  He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

When was meat first mentioned in the Bible?  When Noah took Ham into the ark.

How do we know that cars are in the New Testament?  Because Jesus was a car-painter (carpenter).

Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?  Samson.  He brought the house down.

When did they play tennis in the Bible?  When Joseph served in Pharaoh's court.

How does Paul make his coffee?  Hebrews it.

Who was the smartest man in the Bible?  Abraham.  He knew a Lot.

Who was the fastest runner in the race?  Adam, because he was first in the human race.

What animal could Noah not trust?  Cheetah.

What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?  Floodlights.

Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?  Because they were using "fowl" language. 

What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?  Your mother ate us out of house and home.

Who was the 1st surfer in the Bible?  Paul.  In Acts, he "came ashore on a board"!.

Which Bible character had no parents?  Joshua, son of Nun.

Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?  Because Noah was standing on the deck.

Your turn.  What other Bible jokes have you heard or read?  Share them with us in the comment section below.


Too funny. Thanks for all of the joke. I needed a laugh today.

Did you know baseball was mentioned in the Bible? It starts off "In the big inning..."

Who was the wealthiest female Bible character? Pharaoh’s daughter. She went to the bank of the Nile & pulled out a little prophet.

Ha good one. Thanks for sharing. Dale

These are so funny!!! Thanks for sharing!

HAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAGGAHAGAHHHAHA my wife keeps threatening to leave me, these help me cope with the crippling depression. PRAISE JESUS.

Why is it a bad idea to fart in church? You have to sit in your own "pew"

Why did Jesus walk on water? He’s dryer was broke!!

what do you call a pig with no eyes (a pg lol)u take out d I in pig lolz lolz lolz

what was boaz before he got married ? (Ruth less)lolz lolz lolz

Q. On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?

A. Quackers

Great ark joke. Thanks for sharing.

Actually, the shortest man in the Bible was Bildad; he was Shuhite (shoe height).

what was the first motorcycle mentioned in the Bible?
Triumph....Moses voice triumphed throughout the land

Good one about Moses. Thanks for sharing.

You're wrong about the shortest person in the Bible. It was obviously Bildad the Shuhite.

Shortest man...funny! Thanks for sharing.

Adam and Eve lived in a pair o’ dice.

what did esau say when his mom was holding him back from getting jacob let me adam

The shortest man in the bible was actually timothy he slept on the watch ( he was the size of a watch)

Which Old Testament prophet took forever to make a point? “I say… uhhh…” (say it out loud)

That's a good one. Never heard that one before. Thanks for sharing.

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