RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

I have visited a lot of churches over the years and there is something that nearly all children's ministries struggle with. 

Getting kids engaged in worship through singing.  From mega churches to small churches I have seen this play out with very few exceptions.

I am the central children's director at a church with 7 campuses. All of our campuses struggle with this at times and we are looking for ways to do a better job at engaging kids in worship. 

I believe there are specific reasons why some kids don't engage in worship.  Here are 7 of them that I have identified. 

#1 - The songs are too hard or "grown up." 

I often see well meaning churches trying to get kids and parents singing the same worship songs. The thought behind it is valid. We want kids and parents to be on the same page so they can sing the same songs.  

But...many of the songs are too grown up for kids and they seem to disengage when this happens. Just because a worship songs is a fit with adults doesn't mean it is a fit for kids.  Kids are made to move...move...move. They need songs that capture their attention and engages them with movement. 

Doesn't that mean kids can't sing slower, meditative songs? No. But songs should be age-appropriate.   

#2 - Kids...especially pre-teens...are self-conscious.

Often you will see your 4-6th graders standing back and not engaging.  Watching the worship but not getting involved. They don't want to appear "babyish" or "uncool."  They are very conscious of their peers and what they will think if they openly and freely worship. 

#3 - No one is leading them. 

If we expect kids to worship, then we must lead by example. Volunteers should engage in worship. The kids will see this and be more likely to engage in worship.  The good news...volunteers don't have to have the voice of Celine Dion to help lead kids in worship.  It says to make a joyful "noise" to the Lord.  If you are like me, it is definitely a "noise" that comes out. 

The main thing is for volunteers to demonstrate a heart that worships God. Instead of sitting in the back on their cell phone during large group time, they are up with the kids...encouraging them to join them in worship. 

Worship should be lead not only from the front of the room, but also by volunteers who are among the kids.  

#4 - There are too many motions. 

If you are not careful, focusing on the motions more than the words of worship can cause kids to not engage. Should we do motions...of course. But the motions should be there to help kids gain meaning and understanding of the words they are singing. 

Motions should not trump words of worship. Balance is the key for this.  

#5 - You don't have any guys leading. 

This is especially true when it comes to pre-teen boys. If they only see girls...especially younger girls...up front they will usually not engage. 

If you want to engage all the kids in worship, then you need to enlist some high school boys to help lead. 

#6 - You are not targeting the oldest boys in the room.

Aim high. You should be targeting the oldest boys in the room. If you can engage your pre-teen boys, you will engage all of the kids.  "Little kids" look up to the older kids. That's who they want to be like and want to emulate. 

When you don't target the oldest boys in the room and the songs are not age-appropriate for them, they will see your music and worship as too "babyish' for them and they will not engage. This will then affect the entire group of kids. 

#7 - You aren't teaching kids the importance of worship. 

Kids need to understand the "why" of worship. On a regular basis, take some time to explain why we worship God with our voices.  Help them see that worship is not just a fun thing to do, but first and foremost it's a way that we can express our love for God and bring honor to His name and who He is. 

Those are seven reasons why some of the kids in your ministry aren't singing during worship time. I am working on engaging kids more in worship in our ministry. Join me for this mission. It is vitally important as we raise up the next generation of kids who will worship God not only through music but also with all their heart and being. 

p.s. Have you checked out the original worship songs for kids that were written and produced by my friend Travis August?  They are available at this link.  All songs come with worship videos with and without motions.

The most important part of your children's ministry is your volunteers. 

You don't have a children's ministry without them. 

It's important to take care of them, shepherd them, make them feel appreciated, and invest in them. 

What does that look like practically? Let's talk about 5 things you should do for your volunteers every Sunday.  

Say thank you. 

Walk around and personally say thank you to every volunteer. I use the words "thank you for serving and making a difference."

65% of volunteers say they have never been thanked. Don't be that kind of leader. Regularly thank your volunteers for serving. 

Provide them with a drink and snack. 

One of the best children's ministry leaders I know has a list of her volunteers' favorite snacks and desserts. Every week she makes one of the snacks and brings it for all of her volunteers. Needless to say, they love her.  

Turn the lights on in the rooms and pray over the leader and kids who will be in that room.

Get to church early. Take time to go into every room where the kids and volunteers will be. Turn the light on and pray for them. It means a lot when your volunteers come into their room and the lights are already on and they know it means you stepped into their room to pray for them. 

Have a huddle. 

Meet with your volunteers for a few minutes before they start serving. Encourage them. Share a short devotion or training with them. Pray for them. Share any highlights or announcements they need to know.  

Brag on them.

Look for opportunities to brag on volunteers to parents and people in the church. Anytime the Pastor is around our volunteers, I brag on them to him. This helps volunteers feel appreciated and increases their confidence as a children's ministry volunteer. 

Do these 5 things and your volunteer retention rate will increase.  

Are you having a hard time getting older kids to engage with your lessons? Are older kids saying your lessons are "boring?"

Let me help you fix that. Take a look at this quote from the master of helping kids engage with you.  None other than the man himself...Walt Disney. Here is what he said about this. 

It was the first entertainment that Walt Disney had ever designed expressly for children. ‘But we’re not going to talk down to the kids…let’s aim for the twelve-year-old. The younger ones will watch…
they’ll want to see what their older brothers and sisters are looking at.'

Walt knew that you have to aim high. In other words, if you’re trying to connect with kids of various ages in a large-group setting, always target the oldest kids in the group. If you connect with the older kids, you’ll grab the attention of all the kids.

Marketing experts know and practice this principle. I took their advice and created these guidelines for children’s programming. 

Target the oldest boy in the group. In other words, appeal to your oldest boys and you will appeal to everyone.

Choose music that will appeal to the oldest kids in the group. Know what style of music the oldest kids in your group are listening to. Nothing will turn off your group quicker than playing songs that sound too “babyish.”

Feature older kids in your graphics and videos. Our elementary print pieces contain pictures of the oldest kids in the age group. If we do a video or skit involving kids, we normally use fifth-and sixth-graders as actors.

Use the oldest kids in the room on the praise team. If the oldest boys in your group are standing around with their hands in their pockets during worship, check who’s leading. Our praise team is comprised of the oldest kids in the room, junior and senior high school students, plus adults.

Use clips from movies that upper elementary kids think are “cool.” If your clips are from movies aimed at upper elementary kids, you’ll engage all grades.

Bring in upper elementary kids, and ask them to rate the “coolness” of your programming. They can quickly help you identify what needs to be adjusted.

Take cues from pre-teen marketers. They can give you valuable ideas on how to connect with today’s older kids.

Have the oldest kids sit up front. Before I saw this quote from Walt, I would put the youngest kids up front and the older kids in the back. That was a mistake. When older kids see "little" kids in front of them, they will disengage because it appears to be for the little kids. 

Flip that. Put the oldest kids up front. This will help you engage all of the kids. Younger kids will look up front and see the older kids are engaging and it will cause everyone to engage. 

If older kids are bored with your lessons or events or programs, try this simple idea from Walt and you will see immediate results.

Have you read the best selling book "If Disney Ran Your Children's Ministry?" It has lots of great tips for engaging kids with your lessons. You can get it at this link. 

This past weekend, I had a meeting with all of the kids who are going to our summer camp and their parents. 

When we mentioned that there will be no game systems or cell phones allowed, a collective "uhhhh" sound was heard. 

The thought of not having their cell phone or gaming device for a week made them very uncomfortable. 

Today's kids...especially pre-teens...feel lost without their screens. 

But there are great benefits that come from having kids go "no screen" for a period of time.  

They get away from the constant pressure to answer a call or text.  With technology, we are now wired to respond immediately when our phone dings.  But at camp this urgency is removed which helps kids be more relaxed after the initial shock of not having their device.

Nearly half of the next generation spends every waking moment with screens. Playing games. Texting. Streaming. Watching. 

But let's be honest. It's not just the next generation struggling with this.  Adults also face the same challenge. Think about it. When you wake up in the morning, what do you immediately do? When you fall asleep at night, what are you doing? When you are sitting in a parking lot waiting for the kiddos, what are you doing? 

This is everyone's world today. Our phones and tablets and laptops keep us connected, help us with driving directions, let us order food on the go, listen to music, and a host of other apps and programs that help us navigate life in 2026. 

Did you know there are 6.92 billion smartphone users in the world? That's 86.29% of the global population. The average person in America spends 4 hours and 37 minutes every day on their smartphone.

The younger the generation, the more time they are spending with screens. Gen Z spends the most time with 9 hours per day. Millennials spend around 3.7 hours daily, while Gen X and Baby Boomers spend less time overall. 

Americans check their phones 96 times a day. That's once every ten minutes.  

Here is some more interesting facts about this... 

• 74% of Americans feel uneasy leaving their phone at home.

• 71% of say they check their phones within the first 10 minutes of waking up.

• 53% say that they have never gone more than 24 hours without their cell phone.

• 47% consider themselves “addicted” to their phones

• 70% check their phones within five minutes of receiving a notification.

• 64% use their phone on the toilet.

• 61% have texted someone in the same room as them

• 48% of people say they feel a sense of panic or anxiety when their cell phone battery goes below 20%.

• 45% say that their phone is their most valuable possession. 

Let's jump back and talk about kids now.

The average child ages 8 to 12 spends about 4.5 hours a day with screens. 

The first iPod came out in 2001 and the first iPhone in 2007. Today's kids have never known life without cell phone screens.  They've never used payphones or a physical map to drive somewhere. They've never been bound with a phone cord.  

Today's kids (and adults) are addicted to their screens. They use their smartphones or devices to socialize, learn, play, communicate, and search for information.   

Studies show that excessive screen time can lead to social isolation, negative impact on mental health, and reduced physical activity. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep deprivation.

In the book "The Anxious Generation" Jonathan Haidt says that phones began rewiring kids' brains in the the early 2010's. 

The shift has gone from "play-based childhood to "phone-based childhood."  Children have less access to outdoor play and just playing as kids do.

What's the solution? Haidt says we should make sure kids are getting time to play, delaying smartphone access to high school and limiting social media use until kids are at least 16 years old.

As I closed out the meeting with the campers and their parents this past weekend, I shared with them the spiritual benefits of being screen free at camp. This will allow their attention to be on God and what He wants to do in their life. Away from the screens, they will be more able to hear God more clearly and let Him draw them closer to Him. 

Digital detox!

Disconnecting to connect with God and other kids in a fresh way!

Here are some tips to pass along to parents not just for camp but in the flow of everyday life.

• Set up a time every day when devices are put away.  
• Spend more time outside.  Play outside. 
• Put phones away during meal time.
• Turn off notifications. 

Help kids see that screens are not bad...the devices just need to be managed properly.  I am believing that God is going to speak to our kids in a fresh way at camp and that with the absence of screens it will be easier for them to hear His voice and respond. 

Everything rises and falls on leadership...and that includes children's ministry.

Here are 10 leadership tips for leading in children's ministry. 

Cast vision...continuously.

Have a clear vision for the ministry and point people toward it. 

This brings unity to the team and helps align the ministry to a common, God-sized vision. 

Don't forget that vision leaks. As I said, cast it all the time. 

Use the majority of your time pouring into others.

Remember this...it's not about what you can do...it's about what you can empower other people to do.  The biggest part of your week should be investing in your leaders.

Lead with integrity. 

Make sure your private life lines up with your public life.  In the last few years, we have seen many church leaders have to step down from ministry because of secret sin.  

Walk the talk.  Don't get taken down by secret sins. What is behind the curtain will eventually be known in front of the curtain. 

Have people who hold you accountable.  

Remember...the best way to be successful in ministry is to stay in ministry. 

Spend time with Jesus every day.  

Your first calling is to spend time with Jesus each day. Walk with Him. Read His Word each day. Ask Him to speak to your heart each day as you stay in close fellowship with Him. 

Don't get so busy working for Jesus that you don't have time to spend with Jesus. 

Time spent with Jesus is never wasted.  Out of your time spent with Him will come your anointing and the power of God working through you.  

Be good with kids...be great with leaders of kids.

Grow as a leader of adults. 

Read leadership books. Read emotional intelligence books.  Work on your people skills. Uncover your blind spots and work on them.

Take your days off and use your vacation time.

This will help you avoid burnout. It is crucial to take time off if you want to go the distance in ministry.  

I have an electric razor that is not working right now. Can't find the power cord that it plugs into. Hence when I turn it on nothing happens. Why? Because I haven't been able to recharge it. The same goes with your ministry. You must take time each day to plug into God and get recharged. 

Guard your heart above all else.

The Bible clearly states that your job as a leader is to guard your heart.

Guard your heart against bitterness.

Guard your heart against jealously.

Guard your heart against anger.

Guard your heart against disappointment.

Guard your heart against sin. 

Never arrive..always be learning.

No matter how long you've been leading...you should always be learning and seeking to grow.  Be very intentional about this.  

When you stop learning, you stop growing. Don't fall into the trap of complacency.

Don't use people to build the ministry...use the ministry to build people.

It's not about what you want from people.  It should be about what you want for people. 

Show by your words and actions that you care about your team members.  

You've heard this before...it's so true. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. 

Lead by relationships instead of trying to lead by title.  People don't follow a title...they follow someone they love and respect.

Be the children and family ministry champion in your church.

You should be the person who keeps children's ministry on senior leadership's radar...whether it's the pastor or someone else you report to. 

Don't be shy about communicating the needs and vision of children's ministry. 

You must be the squeaky wheel for children's ministry. It's your job. That's what they are expecting you to do. 

Yes...use wisdom and balance...but make sure you are the champion for children and family ministry. 

So...there you go. Those are my 10 tips.

What are some other tips you have for children's ministry leaders? Share in the comment section below.

p.s. Have you read my book "Lead Well in Children's Ministry?"  You can gets tons of more leadership tips in this book. It's available at this link. 

Did you know the number 6 is a key part of effectively teaching kids?

Here's why. 

Studies show that if a child hears something one time in a month, they will only remember about 5% of it.

But...if a child hears something 6 times in a month, their retention rate goes up to 95%!

Here is a practical way to put this into practice. 

Each month, make sure you have the kids repeat your key teaching verse and truth at least 6 times.  If you will do this, you will see the verse and truth go into their long-term memory. 

When the verse and truth is transferred into their long-term memory, they will remember it when they are in college one day and are faced with temptations and attacks on the Word of God.   

Personally, I have kids repeat the key truth at least 6 times each week. I want to make sure they get it for life.  

Here's the cool thing...when I do this, it is amazing that kids can repeat the key truths and verses years later when I ask them to share what they've learned.

If you haven't checked out my curriculum series called Connect12, you should take a look at it. Connect12 teaches kids 12 critical truths over the course of a year...one truth each month. Take them through this curriculum and it will be embedded into their memory for life. 

You can see the curriculum and get a preview at this link.  It is great for small groups, large groups, and mid-week Bible study.  Try a month and watch the kids get it for life. 

6...remember this number...it can be a game-changer for the kids in your ministry.

Do you have constant turnover in your children's ministry volunteers?

Do you want to see your volunteers go the distance with you?

Do you get tired of having to replace volunteers who have quit? 

Do you want to strengthen your volunteer team? 

Here are seven keys to keeping your volunteers long-term.

Build relationships.

How long volunteers stay is directly related to the depth of the relationships they form with you and other volunteers. 

At one of the churches where I served, I oversaw nine campuses. I would regularly go and visit the campuses during weekend services. At one of the campuses, I noticed that every time I went to visit, there were lots of volunteers and the volunteers were smiling and happy. 

I ask the director of that campus what she was doing to keep her volunteers happy and serving with joy. Whatever she was doing was working and I wanted to pass it along to the other campuses. 

Here was her response. She said, "I don't have volunteers...I have friends."

In that moment it became crystal clear. Her volunteers were happy and committed because she had built a friendship...a relationship with them.  

Let me say this one more time. If you want to keep your volunteers...build relationships with them.  

Put them where they need to be.

Have you ever asked a new volunteer where they wanted to serve and they said "wherever you need me." 

The temptation is to place them where you need them. But that often doesn't work out. 

Here's the answer. 

Instead of placing volunteers where you need them, place them where they need to be. 

Where they need to be is in a role that aligns with their gifts, talents, and interest.  Sit down with them and find out where they really want to serve.  One month after they start serving, connect with them and find out if they are enjoying where they are serving. If they are not enjoying it, then help them find another role that is a better fit. 

Put them in their dream job. 

This ties in to the previous point. You want to help people find a role that they are passionate about. A simple way to help them uncover this is to ask them this question.

What is your dream job in children's ministry?  

Once they tell you, place them in that role. When a volunteer gets in their sweet spot, they will enjoy serving.  When a volunteer gets in their sweet spot, they will thrive. When a volunteer gets in their sweet spot, you will see smiles instead of frustration.

Shepherd them well.  

If you lead well, you will become a shepherd for your volunteers. They will look to you for spiritual support, care and prayers. They will come to you with prayer requests, and spiritual needs. 

Embrace this. 

Pray with them. Cry with them. Go to the hospital to visit them. Support them. Remember...volunteers don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.

Empower them.

Invest in them. Train them. Trust them. Give them responsibility and let them run with it. Don't micromanage them. Believe in them.

Remember this - Don't use volunteers to build the ministry. Instead, use the ministry to build volunteers. 

Challenge them.

Volunteers want to grow. Give them opportunities to do so. As they grow, give them more responsibilities and provide them with feedback that will give them clear steps to get to the next level. 

Here's an example. 

A volunteer starts out as an assistant in a preschool room. 

As they prove themselves, challenge them to become the leader in a preschool room. 

As they continue to grow, place them in a leadership role that oversees other volunteers.

A next step would then be to place them over an entire hallway of classes. 

When a staff position comes open, offer to bring them on board.

At one of the churches were I served, we had 72 children's ministry staff members. Out of the 72, only 5 came from the outside. 67 of them started out as volunteers. As we challenged them and saw them grow, we placed them into staff roles. 

I first met Tracy at a guest reception after a church service. I saw potential in her so after the reception I invited her to see our children's ministry facilities. Long story short, she started volunteering. Then she moved into a part-time role in our preschool ministry. As she continued to grow, I gave her more responsibilities.  Today she is the children's director at a church campus of 12,000 people.  

I believe when you invest in people and challenge them to grow, they will respond and God will use them in a great way.  

Communicate well with them. 

I often say this. 

Don't expect your volunteers to shine on Sunday if you've keep them in the dark all week.  

It is important to keep your volunteers in the know. Don't catch them by surprise when it comes to making big changes, dates and plans for events, and weekly need-to-knows. I communicate with my volunteers every week through email, text messages, and phone calls. 

p.s Here's a bonus tip.

Appreciate your volunteers. Say thank you on a weekly basis. Write them a handwritten thank you note. Give them gift cards to Starbucks. Brag on them. 

Stats show that 65% of volunteers have never heard the words "thank you."  This is not the way to keep volunteers long-term. 

As you put these keys into place, you will begin to see less volunteer turn around and they will stick around. 

Your turn. What are some keys you have found to keep volunteers long-term? Share your thoughts in the comment section below.

p.s. Have you read my book "The Formula for Building Great Volunteer Teams?"  In this book you will get lots of more tips on leading and keeping volunteers. It is available at this link.  

When kids transition to a new ministry environment, it can be a nervous time for them and their parents. But a strategic plan can turn transition into a time of anticipation, excitement, and spiritual growth for the kids and families in your ministry. Here are some ways to build an effective bridge for transition.

Create a partnership between environments. Helping
environments work together is key to building the bridge.

Have key staff from the new environment come and meet the transitioning kids. Have them hang out before a service, greet the kids from the stage, or even teach a lesson. We start this process three months before transition. The key staff members come at least twice a month.

Communicate. Send out communication pieces to parents. Start communicating about transition at least two months out.

Send a welcome packet to parents of transitioning kids. Include a welcome letter, sample lessons, sample take-home papers, a calendar with important dates, sign-up forms, and any other pertinent information parents will want to know.

Announce the transition to the kids. Make it fun and exciting. Tell them about cool things that will be coming up in the new environment.

Take the kids to their new environment and give them a preview before they transition. This will relieve a lot of anxiety as kids see the environment and get a feel for what it will be like.

Have an open house. It’s a great way for kids and parents to visit the new environment, ask questions, get information, and meet their new leaders. Have key staff in the room to meet the new kids and their parents. Have information packets available and consider families’ busy schedules. Consider offering several options for families to attend.

Have a graduation ceremony. Offer families a spiritual milestone they will never forget.

Ask volunteers who have worked with the kids to share memories.

Ask graduating kids to share what they’ve learned, memories, and thanks to their leaders.

Ask parents to publicly bless their kids with Scripture, thoughts, and prayer. (Ask everyone ahead of time so they have time to prepare.)

Provide graduation certificates or maybe even gifts.

Have kids walk across the stage. This is visual confirmation that they are transitioning to a new environment.

Give a brief devotion or challenge to the kids and parents. Then close with prayer. Have parents and leaders gather around the children and pray for them.

Have a party, cookout, or reception after the ceremony. This is a great time for staff, volunteers, and students from the new ministry environment to connect with transitioning kids and parents.

I have created a graduation celebration milestone kit for kids who are transitioning up to middle school ministry. It includes everything you need for a great transition strategy and ceremony. It is available at this link. 

Keep kids grouped together as much as possible. Keeping groups together will provide security for kids and help them continue to deepen relationships.

Have volunteers move up with kids. We love it when volunteers want to move up with their kids! It helps calm kids’ fears, but more important, when a leader invests in a child’s life over the years, the spiritual impact is multiplied. 

Make yourself available for kids or families who are struggling during transition. I have found over the years that transition has a way of revealing kids and families who need an extra ministry touch. Perhaps it brings out the anxiety a child may still be feeling from a divorce; perhaps it shows parenting challenges a mom or dad is facing. How will you know who they are? Don’t worry…usually they will come to you. Whatever the need, be there to encourage them and walk with them through this time.

One of the great joys of being in children’s ministry for the long haul is seeing kids grow up and become fully devoted followers of Christ. It reminds you that all the time you spent building bridges for them was well worth it. 

The kids in your ministry will grow up fast. Be there to build bridges across the transitions.

As I look at the trends and pathways of children's ministry, there are some things that concern me. 

These are things that I believe we must address and search for ways to correct them.

Below are the 12 things. Take a few minutes to think about these. 

Lack of Biblical knowledge.

Biblical knowledge alone will not help kids be discipled. But it is crucial that kids know God's Word if they are going to apply it to their lives.  You can't apply what you don't know. 

Kids not knowing why we believe what we believe.

The number one reason why kids grow up and leave the faith is because they simply don't believe anymore. 

We must teach kids apologetics.  We must help them work through the tough questions and find the correct answers. 

If we don't, when kids are exposed to the wrong answers, they will not be able to stand against the doubt and confusion that will be brought their way. 

Like the seed that fell into shallow soil, they will wilt away when the pressure from unbelievers comes.  

Shallow faith greatly concerns me. 

Lack of prayer.

I see a lack of prayer in our ministries. Children who make an impact even at an early age are kids who are taught how to pray. 

A few months ago, I decided to try something bold when it comes to prayer. I started blocking out 10 minutes of time during class to pray. 

I have the kids get down on their knees. I wondered how this would go. Surprisingly, the kids got down on their knees...even the kids who are normally a little "rowdy."  A hush came over the room and we began to pray. We have a list of needs in our church and we pray though that. We also pray for God's forgiveness in areas we have sinned and spend time thanking and praising God for who He is.  

It has been a game changer for many of the kids. 

If we are going to the see the next generation move forward for God and serve Him for a lifetime, it will happen when they spend time with God in prayer. 

Inconsistent church attendance.

As I talk with and interact with churches across the country, the same attendance pattern emerges.  Families with children are attending church once or twice a month or even less. 

This means children are missing 50-75% of the lessons. What would happen if children missed 50-75% of their school lessons. It would be difficult for them to master the subjects they are studying. 

The same can be said of church attendance. It concerns me that a big majority of the children who attend our churches are only getting 25-50% of the teaching.  It's hard to get a solid faith foundation when you are not there consistently. 

Priorities and choices of parents.

All too often, I see parents who make the choice to put sports before church attendance and discipleship. Traveling ball participation that causes kids to miss weeks and weeks of Biblical teaching. 

Too busy to attend church faithfully?  I am afraid that this will catch up to families spiritually and is setting a precedent that is going to cause kids to not put God first in their priorities and choices. This can eventually cause children to drop out of church completely when they grow up.

God wants first place in our lives and choices. We must help parents understand that the choices they make will greatly affect their children's relationship with Jesus now and in the years to come.

Volunteers who only serve once a month.

A big part of discipleship happens through relationship.  For discipleship to happen in children's ministry (especially in the elementary years) you need volunteers who serve consistently.  The best scenario is for volunteers to serve every week. This helps them build influence with the children and obviously makes the opportunity for relationship to be much higher.

It's hard to build relationship with someone you only see for an hour each month.  

Temporary prizes for eternal endeavors.

Many churches give kids rewards for bringing their Bible to church, attendance, bringing a friend, good behavior, etc. 

I believe we should reward kids for spiritual disciplines...but I believe we should reward them with far more than a cheap toy.   

Think about this with me.  What if you rewarded kids with the opportunity to make an eternal impact.  

Examples:

Earn 50 points and you can purchase a goat for a family in India.

Earn 10 points and you can purchase a paint brush that will be used to paint a widow's house.

Earn 100 points and purchase a well for a family in Uganda. 

I have found that kids respond even more if you give them the opportunity to make an impact with their points.

This also helps kids grow in their faith as they invest in eternal matters. 

You can read more about this strategy at this link. 

Churches that are not willing to change to reach the next generation. 

Churches that are unwilling to change are losing the next generation.  As I drive by churches that are closed down, I am reminded that at one time they had kids crying in the nursery. They had elementary kids giggling and playing in the classrooms. But not now.  There is a for sale sign in the yard. Why? Because they were unwilling to change and stay relevant. 

Often it's generational. The older generation has a worship style they grew up with and want to continue with it until their dying days.  They have methods that they are comfortable with and they refuse to go outside the box they have created. 

Remember...the last three letters in trend spells "end."  

Not reaching children and families with the Gospel.

The most important thing children's ministries do is reaching kids and families with the Gospel. We only have a short window of time to reach the next generation. Churches can do a lot of things, but the primary passion and heartbeat must be reaching and discipling kids and families. 

Online church without personal connections.

I'm not against online church. But when it comes to kids, I believe they need personal connections with caring volunteers.  Discipleship happens through relationships. Kids need a consistent person pouring into their lives and helping them grow in their faith. 

Churches that don't make children ministry a top priority.

You hear many churches say that children's ministry is a priority. But their budget, staffing, volunteer base, and facilities say something different. 

Children are the greatest mission field in the world. It concerns me when a church can't see that and doesn't take action about it. 

Children's ministries that don't have a salvation and discipleship pathway for children. 

They don't have a clear next step when kids express an interest in beginning a relationship with Jesus. They don't have a curriculum plan in place that teaches kids the "musts knows" of following Jesus.  

I believe we have to focus on what we are going to teach kids from God's Word. We must create intentional teaching pathways that will help kids know God's Word.  It's time we adjust and rather than teaching kids "character traits" we must teach kids the key doctrines, principles, and truths that are found in God's Word. Biblical truth must be the foundation of what we teach. 

Those are 12 things that concern me. 

What concerns you about children's ministry? Share your thoughts in the comment section below. 

If you want to see your children's ministry grow, then I have a book for you. 

The book is entitled "100 Best Ideas to Grow Your Children's Ministry."

It was written by my friend Scott Werner and myself. When we wrote this book together, we were both leading children's ministries in large, fast growing churches.

Scott was the children's pastor at Life Church in Edmond. He helped the children's ministry there grow by leaps and bounds as he served under the leadership of Craig Groeschel.  

I was the children's pastor at Central Church in Las Vegas. I wrote this book during the time when the children's ministry and church there were exploding with growth.  We grew by thousands of people during this time. 

The 100 ideas you will encounter in this book are proven ministry philosophies and methods that have been used to grow children's ministries.  No matter your church size, these ideas can help you see and experience significant growth.

Great children’s ministries don’t happen by accident - they happen on purpose. This book brings together 100 practical, proven, timeless ideas that help kids grow in their faith, help leaders lead with confidence, and help churches create environments where families feel loved and supported.

Build strong volunteer teams.
 

Leading with clarity and vision.
 

Creating engaging environments for kids.
 

Partnering with parents.
 

Designing systems that support long-term growth.
 

Whether you’re new to children’s ministry or a seasoned leader, these ideas will help you
strengthen your ministry and elevate your impact. 

This book is also a great resource that you can take your staff and volunteer team through.  Order 5 or more copies and you can get a 20% discount. You can contact Dale about this at dale@buildingchildrensministry.com.

You can get your copy today at this link. Grab this book and watch your ministry grow...grow...grow!

Great children's ministries don't happen by chance.  They are built with intentionally.  Here are 10 building blocks that you can use to build a great children's ministry. 

Vision. 

Great children's ministries have a clear vision that fuels the ministry. 

Put the vision in writing.  Keep in simple. Make sure every volunteer on your team knows what the vision is. 

Since vision leaks, consistently take people back to it.

The vision is why you do what you do.  This is a foundational building block that you must have in place if you want to build a great children's ministry. 

• Do the people on your team know what the vision is? 
• Can the people on your team quote the vision? 
• Do you have the vision in writing? Plaster it on everything. 

Principles. 

If the vision is a building block, then principles are the mortar that holds the vision together and makes it become a reality. 

If the vision communicates the "why" of your ministry, then principles communicate "how" you do ministry.  Here are some examples. 

All for One. Unity centered on Jesus and our core beliefts.  

Inside Out. Living a life marked by prayer and integrity 

Grow to Go. Remaining teachable to become usable.

Live to Give. Stewarding our lives for eternity. 

Passion for People. Impacting humanity with the love of God. 

• Do you have principles in place that help guide the ministry?
• Have you trained your volunteers to know how to do ministry?

Parent Partnerships.

Great children's ministries know that parents are the greatest influence in the life of a child. They seek to influence the influencers. They equip and empower parents to lead their children spiritually.

• How are you extending the weekend lesson into the homes during the week?
• Do you have milestones in place that help you join hands with parents at the high-impact points in a child's discipleship?

A clear discipleship pathway.

Great children's ministries don't just randomly teach lessons. Instead, they start with the end in mine and create a clear discipleship pathway that takes kids from point A to point Z. 

• Have you sat down and mapped out what you want kids to know and believe when they graduate out of your ministry?
• Is the curriculum you are using or writing providing a clear pathway to spiritual growth for kids?

Church Support. 

Great children's ministries are built by the church's overall support and encouragement.  Their church is committed to reaching and discipling kids and families. 

• Does your church show that they value the children's ministry?  Does their budget reflect this? Does their staffing priorities reflect this?  
• How can you elevate the importance of children's ministry in your church or ministry?

Volunteer Teams.

The foundation of a great children's ministry is built by volunteers. The success of your ministry rises and falls on the strength of your volunteer team. 

You must understand this if you want to build a great children's ministry. Spend a big percentage of your time on enlisting, equipping and empowering volunteers to do the work of the ministry. 

• How much time are you spending each week building your volunteer team?
• Are you equipping your volunteers to do the work of the ministry or are you trying to do it all by yourself? 

Relevant connections.

It is important to stay in touch with today's kids. Today's children are not yesterday's children. Become a student of today's kids. Know what is popular with them. Know the unique qualities and characteristics of the coming generation.

• Are you intentional about keeping in touch with the world of today's kids?
• How are you staying relevant for today's kids? 

Engaging Lessons.

Do you teach and share engaging lessons with the kids in your ministry? Today's kids need interactive, hands on, experiential lessons that capture their attention. We have the greatest news every written on paper...God's Word.  It's vital that we teach it so it is memorable and applicable. 

• Are kids saying your lessons are boring?  If they are, they are probably right.  It's time for some major changes.
• Are you striving to make God's Word come alive for today's kids? 

Outreach.

If you want to build a great children's ministry, then outreach must be one of your top priorities. We are commanded by Jesus to go and share the Good News of the Gospel. 

He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation." Mark 16:15 

Are you reaching kids and families with the Gospel?  Are you baptizing kids and parents on a regular basis?  Are you out in the community sharing the Gospel?  We are told to get outside the four walls of the church and take the Gospel to the world. 

• How can we get out in the community with the Gospel?
• How can we help the kids in our ministry spread the Gospel with their friends, team members, schools, and neighbors? 

Great Facilities.

It's not just about the building. It's about making a statement to kids and families that they are important. I believe the best part of a church's facilities should be the children's ministry. 

Remember - good facilities will make your children's ministry seem better than it is. Bad or subpar facilities will make your children's ministry seem worse than it really is. 

• What are your children's ministry facilities saying to kids and parents?
• What are some needed changes that need to happen with your facilities?

Put these 10 bricks in place and you will experience growth and improvement for your children's and family ministry. 

Gen Alpha are kids who are currently 1-to-16 years old.  These are the kids who are in your nursery, your preschool ministry, your elementary ministry, and your student ministry. 

A lot of people are vying for their attention and some are very good at connecting them. 

In my last post, I shared the top YouTube channels and shows that kids watch. 

Today let's take a deeper dive into how to get the attention of Gen Alpha kids.

Gen Alpha viewing habits.

YouTube - 75%

Video on demand - 66%

Mobile games - 62%

YouTube shorts - 52%

Console games - 48%

TikTok - 38%

Facebook - 30%

Broadcast TV - 28%

Instagram - 26%

88% of parents say their 2-5-year-old prefers YouTube over VOD or broadcast TV.

Ages 2-to-9 prefer cartoons.

Ages 10-12 prefer comedy.

Boys favorite gaming channels

Flamingo

Lankybox

EthanGamer

Craftee

Unspeakable

Gaming w/Jen

Girls favorite gaming channels

Flamingo

Gaming w/Jen

Lankybox

Big School

Craftee

FGTV

43% of new movies are discovered by kids on YouTube.

55% of parents say they co-view YouTube with their kids. 

Cartoons are most popular for co-viewing.

Second screening (watching 2 screens are the same time) 

Almost half of Gen Alpha kids watch YouTube or play mobile games while watching TV.

Parents are also second screening - 39% play mobile games and 36% watch YouTube while watching TV.

YouTube ads drive 50% of parents to make a purchase for their child.

Influencers. 

80% of kids ask for something they've seen an influencer talk about. Toys and games make up over half of the requests.

76% of kids ages 10-12 remember ads created by influencers. 

32% of kids find new movies through influencers. 

Boys favorite mobile games.

Lego

Roblox

Plants vs Zombies

Disney Games

Bubble Shooter

Talking Tom

Among Us

Sonic

Girls favorite mobile games. 

Happy Color

Bubble Shooter

Disney Games

LOL

Among Us

Talking Tom

Lego

Roblox

Brands that have their attention.

Lego

Pokemon

Barbie

Hot Wheels

Fisher-Price

Play-Doh

Bluey

Crayola

Nerf

Collectible Interests boys share with their parents.

Lego

Marvel

Pokemon

Hot Wheels

Disney

Star Wars

Harry Potter

Roblox

Labubu

Pop

Jellycat

Sonny Angel

Collectible Interests girls share with their parents.

Lego

Barbie

Disney

Pokemon

Marvel

Harry Potter

Labubu

Jelly Cat

Pop

Roblox

Star Wars

Sonny Angel

It is interesting to see the stat of parents engaging with their kids in shared interest collectibles. This reminds me about partnering with parents. If we provide quality and engaging resources for kids and parents together, we can see parents getting involved in the discipleship of their kids.  Maybe the reason why we aren't seeing more parents taking the lead in discipling their children is because we haven't provided them with quality, engaging resources for this.

If you want to connect with kids, then mention some of the brands in this article. They will be impressed that you took the time to learn about their interests and you will have their attention. 

Here's an example. 

One Sunday I walked into one of the classrooms and noticed there was a boy sitting in the back of the room by himself. You could tell from his countenance that he was not a happy camper.  One of the leaders in the room shared with me that he had been disrupting the service and they finally had to move him back by himself.

I went over and sat down by him. I tried to talk with him, but he looked the other way and wouldn't acknowledge me.  After a minute of him ignoring me, I decided to try something else. Here's what I did. I ask him if he liked video games.  For the first time, he turned and looked at me said "yes...I love video games."  

I asked him what system he had at home and what his favorite game was. After a few minutes of talking about video games, I told him I was going to go up and participate in the worship song the other kids were now singing. I told him he could stay where he was or he could come up and join me if he wanted to as well. 

I went up front and started singing with the other kids. A minute later I felt a tug on my shirt. I turned around and it was the boy from the back of the room. He was smiling and said he wanted to join in the worship.  For the rest of the class time he behaved and participated with a good attitude. The cause...someone cared enough to enter his world.  

I would encourage you to use the brands and stats we have talked about in this article as a way to connect with Gen Alpha kids. 

Show them you care enough about them to enter their world. Talk about what has their attention during the week. By doing this you will get their attention and open the door to impact them for Christ.  

Many of the stats in this article came from precisify.com. 

Here's what kids are watching on YouTube. These channels and shows are obviously really good at connecting with kids. Think about what they are doing. You can pick up some great ideas for your children's ministry strategy.  This is also a great way to stay connected with what is relevant for today's kids.

Girls Favorites (ages 2-5)

Bluey

Peppa Pig

Paw Patrol

Disney Jr. 

Cocomelon

Girls Favorites (ages 6-9)

Disney Jr. 

Spongebob Squarepants

Nicklodeon

Mr. Beast 

Nick Jr. 

Girls Favorites (ages 10-12) 

Nickelodeon

Mr. Beast

Lego

Disney Hits

Spongebob Squarepants

Boys Favorites (ages 2-5) 

Paw Patrol

Bluey 

Spongebob Squarepants

Cocomelon

Blippi

Boys Favorites (ages 6-9)

Lego

Nickelodeon

Mr. Beast

Spongebob Squarepants

Bluey

Boys Favorites (ages 10-12)

Mr. Beast 

Lego

Nickelodeon

Ryan's World

Spongebob Squarepants 

p.s. Come back Thursday for my next article. We will take a deeper dive into how to connect with Gen Alpha kids. 

I was recently studying about one of my favorite Bible stories. Jonah and the big fish. 

If you dig into this story, you will discover some great truths about God and His heart for the world to be saved. 

You know what happened...God told Noah to go to the city of Nineveh and share with them their desperate need to repent of their evil ways.

The Ninevites were known for their brutality and evil. To travel there was risky. But to preach to them about God would mean certain death.  

Jonah wanted nothing to do with the Ninevites. Especially since he was a Jew. It would be like asking a Jew during World War II to go preach to the Nazis. 

One of two things would happen in his mind. He would be killed or the Ninevites would repent and be spared. Jonah was not interested in anyone from Nivevah living to see another day. 

So...instead of running to Ninevah...he decided to run the wrong way. As far away from Ninevah as he could get. He boarded a ship and went the opposite direction. 

In all this we see God's heart for people...even the most wicked people.

Look what he says in Jonah 4:11. 

"...the great city in which there are more than 120,000 persons who do not know the difference between their right and left hand, as well as many animals."

Many commentators believe the 120,000 persons is referring to children who are not old enough to know the difference between their right and left hand. 

He calls it a great city because there were so many lost people on whom He had compassion. 

He also mentions animals? What does that mean?  Scholars say that even the cruelest of men sometimes have a soft spot in their heart for a puppy, kitten, etc. 

God has compassion on lost people and so should we.  

Do you sometimes feel like Jonah?  Your heart for lost people occasionally wanes and you want to run away from them instead of going to them.  

You want to run away from the child that causes all the commotion in class?

You want to run away from the neighbor who is a pain?

You want to run away from the child that you just can't seem to connect with?

You want to run away from the staff member or church member that you can't get along with? 

You want to run away from the hours of planning and work it takes to pull off a VBS, Fall Festival, or other outreach event? 

You want to run away from trying to partner with parents when the parents just can't seem to get it. 

I have felt all of this at times.  

At times...I have run the wrong way.

When we take our eyes off of Jesus and people the natural tendency is to run the wrong direction. 

Jonah disliked the Ninevites and it was obvious why. That dislike led him to disobedience.  

Perhaps in all of this we see the heart of God for those who are far from Him.  Perhaps in all of this we see that God has called us to run to those who are far from Him and share the Gospel with them.  

So God puts Jonah through the ringer. You know what happened, he was on a ship...running the opposite direction when a storm blew in. Jonah confesses that He is running away from God's will and they end up throwing him overboard to save their lives.

Jonah gets swallowed by a big fish...perhaps it was a whale or great white Orca...whatever it was it was big.

Jonah spends three days in the big fish. During these three days, he spends most of his time talking to God and repenting for running away from God's will. 

So God decides to ask Jonah to go to Ninevah for the second time. 

p.s. Here are some apologetics you can teach kids about Jonah being swallowed and living through it.

Many critics can't "swallow" the story of Jonah because they say it couldn't happen. 

Hang on. Let's examine the facts.

An average sperm whale has a mouth that is 20 feet long, 15 feel high, and 9 feet wide. Plenty big enough to swallow a person. 

Did you know the sperm whale feeds largely on squid. Often these squids are larger than people. Whalers will sometimes find an entire squid in the stomach of a dead whale. 

In 1891, two small whaleboats harpooned a huge sperm whale. The whale went under the water but then burst from the water, smashing one of the boats. One the sailors named James Bartley went overboard and was lost. 

The whalers were eventually able to capture the whale and winch it to the ship. When they pulled the whale up, the sailors noticed that the whale's stomach was moving...so they cut the whale's belly open.  Inside the whale was James Bartley...still alive after spending over 15 hours in the belly of the whale. 

Now think back to Jonah.  God was ready to use Jonah to reach Ninevah. So he had the big fish spit out Jonah onto the beach. Jonah was fortunate. There were only two ways out of the fish. Jonah got out the most pleasant way. 

So here's Jonah...crawling out of the ocean after being spit up by a big fish. 

Here's an interesting thing.

Do you know what false god the Ninevites worshiped?  It was a fish god named Dagon. 

Perhaps...just maybe some of the Ninevites saw this man come up out of a fish with seaweed wrapped around his head. If that happened, I would say Jonah had their attention. 

So Noah runs the right way this time and heads to Ninevah. He shares the Word of God with them and the entire city turns to God. 

So what do we learn from this amazing happening?

God's heart is for people. 

God uses people to reach people...even when their attitude is not the best.

God wants us to have His heart of compassion and love for those who do not know Him.

When God asks us to run toward people with the Gospel, it is critical that we obey Him. 

God wants you to run toward His will for your life instead of running away from it.  

The best choice is to always run toward God's will instead of from it. 

God is the God of mercy and forgiveness.  Run to Him. Help others run to Him. No matter who they are.

God is looking for yielded hearts to reach people with the Gospel.

Two major research organizations asked people why they left the church.

The number one answer?  They simply stopped believing. Over 50% say they have stopped believing in the core doctrines and faith tenets.

Turns out that the experience a child has in church between the ages of 5 and 17 is the single strongest predictor of whether they will stay with the faith as an adult.  

If a child has a negative experience at church, there is a 70% chance they will later walk away from the faith. 

But if a child has a positive experience at church, there is a 84% chance they will stick with the faith.  

What can we do about that as children's ministry leaders? Is the answer found in a new program?  More relevant worship music?  More lights and fog? Cooler games and activities?  A new version of the Bible for kids? Different small group curriculum? 

We cannot let this opportunity slip away. It's time the church makes children and student ministry a high, high priority.  It's time the church goes all in for reaching and discipling the next generation.

Ministry for kids and students is the front line in the battle for the next generation.  The enemy knows this and is going all out to steal, kill, and destroy the faith of the generation coming behind us.

So why are kids growing up and walking away from the church because of unbelief?  

I believe it is because churches are not teaching kids why we believe what we believe.  

I believe it is because churches are not teaching kids apologetics.

I believe it is because churches are not teaching kids doctrine. 

I believe it is because we are not letting kids ask the hard questions and helping them work through it. 

I believe it is because we are not teaching kids what the verses mean that they are memorizing. 

I believe it is because we are teaching kids about God but not about knowing God personally. 

I believe it is because we are not helping kids own their faith. 

I believe it is because we are not strategic with the curriculum we are teaching them. 

I believe it is because we are not preparing them to defend what they believe. 

I talk about this extensively in my book Fertile Soil...How to See Kids' Faith Grow and Flourish for a Lifetime. You can get your copy here.  

I also have 2 apologetics series for kids - Mythbusting and Pranksters. You can see these teaching series at this link.

It's time the church focuses on the next generation. Children and student ministry cannot be an afterthought.  It must be at the forefront of our thoughts, planning, strategy, and outreach. 

It's time the church turns its eyes to the greatest mission field in the world...kids and students. 

It's time for children and student ministry to be the most important ministry in the church.  

Children's ministry is not babysitting or childcare. It is crucial ministry at the most important time in a person's life.  If we don't reach and disciple children and students we will see them grow up and walk away as adults.

Children and student ministry leaders be encouraged. God is with you. He wants to pour out His power and anointing into your life as you serve on the front lines. 

Children and student ministry leaders be encouraged. Your ministry is dear to the heart of God.  Jesus paused adult ministry when He was here and made children's ministry a top priority when the parents brought their children to Him. 

Sadly in many churches, we find that children's ministry is just an afterthought.  The pastor and church leaders fail to invest heavily into children and student ministry. 

If you are in that situation, I would encourage you to share this article with your leaders. God has placed you where you are to be a champion for children and student ministry. Lovingly and humbly share this with your leaders. It might be just what they need to understand the importance of the ministry you are leading and serving. 

There is hope for the next generation. God has divinely placed you where you are for such a time as this. 

You are the person God wants to use to reach and disciple children and students through your local church.  You matter and what you do matters....more than you can comprehend. 

Together...with all of us engaged in this great work of God...we can see the faith projectory of an entire generation changed.   

Then we will see kids and students grow up to walk with God instead of away from God.