RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

When I first started in children's ministry over 33 years ago, I had a strategy that was not conducive to ministering to parents. 

I thought my job was to reach and disciple children. And it was.  But there was a vital part I was missing. 

I was not spending time and effort into ministering to parents as well. 

My thought process was - I'll minister to the children and the adult ministry can minister to the parents. 

And that was partially true. Of course, adult ministry should focus on reaching and discipling parents.  But so should children's ministry. 

You have a unique opportunity.  You see, you have an open door to minister to parents.  Why?  Because you are ministering to their children.  And parent's obviously love their children.  When you do something nice for a child...when you invest your time in a child...when you show that you care about a child...you quickly get the attention of their parents.  Do something nice for my child and you've got my attention.

No matter how far a parent is away from God, if you do something nice for their child, you've got their attention.

Because of this, we should always be looking for ways to help parents.  If ministering to parents is not in your job description, then write it in.  It's just as important as your ministry to children. 

How can you minister to parents and help them get connected to the church family (many times their first connection to the church will be through their child who attended first with a friend or family member)?

When a guest family shows up, make sure you not only help the child get to their class / service, but help the parents as well.  Help them get connected. Give them info. about small groups.  Walk with them to the worship service and introduce them to a few people.

Invite them to be part of your spiritual milestones.  This is one of the best opportunities you have to get families connected to your church.  Need more info about milestones?  Click here for more about it. 

Host parenting classes.  It's time for children's ministries to take the lead and offer parenting classes.  If the adult ministry is currently doing parenting classes, get involved and see how you can partner with them. 

Invite them to serve.  One of the best ways to get parents connected is to invite them to serve in children's ministry.  Create a good culture for this and you will see parents get connected to other parents who they are serving with.  I have often seen parents that serve together, start a small group.  Create opportunities for parents to spend time together outside the services. 

There are many parents that are lonely.  Barna recently released some info about this.

• 9% of Boomers (grandparents) feel lonely for at least some of each day.
• Gen Xer's (parents of older children) say they are lonely 33% of the day.
• Millennials (parents of younger children) say they are lonely 46% of the day. 
  

Many of the parents in your ministry are lonely.  They are searching for a way to get connected to other people. You have a great opportunity to not only get children connected, but parents as well. 

As you plan for ministry in 2022, I want to challenge you to make connecting parents and helping disciple them to be one of your top priorities.  Put your ideas on the calendar.  It will be one of the best ministry shifts you can make.

Remember this...

When you reach a child, you change a life.  When you reach parents, you change an entire family.

We know parents are the greatest influence in their child's life.  So, if you want to influence the next generation, it should start by influencing their parents who will, in return, influence their children.

Every parent, who is a believer, wants to see their child grow up to love and follow Jesus.  

But that doesn't happen by accident. It takes intentional training and instruction mixed in with a whole lot of unconditional love.  

Let's look at 7 tips you can pass along to parents who want to raise their children to love Jesus.

Be an example of what it means to love Jesus.  I believe that loving Jesus is more caught than taught.  First and foremost, as parents, we must live out a faith that is rooted and grounded in a love for Christ.  Growing up, it became clear to me that my parents loved Jesus.  I watched as they spent time in prayer.  I watched as they shared their faith with people who were away from God.  I watched as they served others. 

And it made a deep impression in my life.  As a teenager, trying to decide what direction I would go with my life, it reinforced for me that following Jesus was the best thing I could do with my life.

Read the Bible and pray with your children.  Bedtime is a great opportunity to do this.  With younger children, a devotional book that includes pictures along with the scriptures is great.  The older children get, the more you can read straight to them from God's Word.  Which leads me to my next point.

Teach your children how to walk with Jesus for themselves.  As kids get into their upper elementary years, you should help them transition into walking with Jesus for themselves.  This doesn't mean you don't read God's Word with them and pray with them.  But it does mean that they should gradually transition into having their own time of prayer and Bible reading.   

Work through the hard questions.  Be proactive in addressing the hard questions like...

Why does God allow tragedies like hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, etc. to happen?

Why would God sentence people to spend eternity in hell?  Isn't that too harsh?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Why is Jesus the only way to heaven?

These are the types of questions you need to talk about and walk through with your child as they get older.  The goal is to help them discover the right answers before they go off to college or the workforce and hear the wrong answers.  I talk in detail about this in my new book "Fertile Soil...See Kids Faith Grow and Flourish for a Lifetime." It's available for pre-order at this link. 

Pray for them.  I believe that one reason my two brothers and I love Jesus and are actively involved in serving Him is because my parents pray daily for us.  Every morning they sit down and spend time praying for us.  Pray, pray, pray for your children.  Intercede for them.  Pray a hedge of protection around them.  Prayer makes the difference. 

Walk the talk. You are the primary spiritual example for your children.  Practice what you preach.  Kids can see through hypocrisy.

Hypocritical parents lead to skeptical children. 

Be involved in who they choose as friends.  Friends play a major role in how a child turns out.  Help your child choose friends who love Jesus and will be a good example for them.  Many times, the right kind of friends will be a determining factor if they follow Jesus or not.

The Bible is very clear about this.  Look what Proverbs 13:20 says. 

Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.

Time slips by so quickly.  Before you know it, that little boy or girl that you put in a car seat, will be grown up and will be driving the car.

As children's ministry leaders, we should be pouring into parents.  Help equip parents in these matters.  Pray with them as they seek to raise their children to love Jesus for a lifetime. 

Your turn.  What else do you teach and implement to equip parents?  Share your ideas and insight in the comment section below.

Data from Pew Research reveals that American students and their parents have a lot in common when it comes to religion. (*pre-Covid19)

Most parents and their teenagers share a religious identity.  And when it comes to evangelicals, 80% of teens say they follow their parents lead.

What about church attendance patterns?  Teens attend religious services about as often as their parents.  44% of teens say they go to a religious service at least once a month.  This mirrors their parents who say they attend monthly (43%).

And among those surveyed, about half (43%) say they have the same religious beliefs as their parents.

What does this mean for the church now and down the road?

First of all, we know the adult population has been growing less religious for several decades. We are trending toward secularization.  Will the next generation continue in that trend?  Findings say "yes." Church attendance declines in the final two years of high school.

One big key is this - parents who actively engage their children with religious practices see their children more involved in religious beliefs and practices.

59% of kids say they talk about religion at home.  48% say grace before family meals.  25% say their parents read the Bible with them.

Perhaps because attendance at religious services also tends to be a family activity, it’s an area in which parents and kids are largely in sync.

Among parents who say they attend religious services on a regular basis (at least once or twice a month), 88% have a child who also reports attending that often. An almost identical share (89%) of parents who attend services infrequently (a few times a year, seldom or never) have a child who does the same.

When it comes to determining right from wrong, students turn mostly to parents and other family to help them determine right and wrong.

Students take after their parents religiously.  Attending services with them and enjoying religious traditions as a family.

Students rates of attendance and prayer are closely tied to their parents' religious practices.  Students whose parents regularly attend church services are more likely to attend services as well.

60% of students who say religion is very important in their lives attend church with both parents.  59% say they talk about religion with their family at home at least sometimes. 

Students who are unaffiliated with a church or religious group are far less likely to engage in these practices at home.  Large majorities in this group report that they say they do not say grace before meals (72%) or read religious scripture (93%) with their family.

 LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON

 LIKE MOTHER, LIKE DAUGHTER

Throughout Scripture, we see that parents are called to raise their children to love and follow Jesus.  And if you take a close look, you'll see that parents are challenged to first live out the faith by example and then encourage the next generation to follow their example. Here's an example of this command found in I Timothy 4:16.

Pay close attention to yourself and to the teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.

Our children are watching us.  Looking at us to be the spiritual example they need.  We must walk the talk and live out a sincere faith.

And think about this.  

If you want to influence kids, then you have to influence their greatest influencer...their parents.

It is crucial that we not only minister to children, but to their parents as well.  Why?  Because like father like son. 

When you reach a child, you change a life.  When you reach parents, you change the whole family.

Always, always, always be looking for opportunities to engage and equip parents.  

Kids follow the lead from their parents.  Our job is to make sure parents have the tools, resources and  encouragement they need to set a good example for their kids to follow.

Have you heard about our upcoming live webinar?  We will be talking about how you can see kids grow up to love and serve Jesus for a lifetime.  Join Jim Wideman, Kim Botto and myself for this interactive time of teaching.   I've been researching about why kids walk away from the faith and how we can change that.  I've been studying this for years and have found a strategy that helps kids grow up to love Jesus.  

You can get more info. and register at this link.