RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

What are the elements of a successful children's ministry?

I believe there are 3 big ways you can measure the effectiveness of a children's ministry. 

Let's take a look at these. 

FAITH. 

Successful children's ministries main focus is reaching kids with the Gospel and seeing them discipled. 

The ultimate goal of every children's ministry should be rooted and grounded in the great commission.

And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."  Matthew 28: 18-20

Children are the greatest mission field in the world. We know that the majority of people who come to Christ do so before they are 18 years old.  We have a short window of time to reach children with the Gospel.

You can do a lot of things in your children's ministry, but the bottom line is this - Are you reaching kids with the Gospel?  Are you then helping them grow in their relationship with Jesus? 

We must keep the main thing the main thing.

When it comes to curriculum, make sure you are using a curriculum that regularly shares the Gospel as part of the lesson. If the curriculum you are using does not share the Gospel consistently, then you should find one that does or start writing it into the curriculum yourself. 

There are lots of truths, Bible verses, and lessons we can share from the Bible. But nothing is more important than sharing the Gospel with kids.

"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes."  Romans 1:16

I believe without salvation there is no success in children's ministry.

Dare to ask yourself these questions. 

How often am I sharing the Gospel with kids?

Am I seeing kids come to Christ and follow Him in baptism on a regular basis?

If the baptistry is dry...what is the cause of this?

Do I have clear steps mapped out for kids who express an interest in accepting Jesus into their life?

If you need help with this - check out Starting Line. It's a salvation class that kids and parents attend together. Churches across the country are using this resource to reach kids and families. You can get more information and order it at this link. 

FUN

I believe kids should have fun at church. I have met many people over the years who say, "I'm not going to church because I was made to go as a child."  Newsflash...you don't have to make someone go where they enjoy being.

I've never heard anyone say, "I'm not going to Disney World because I was made to go as a child." They didn't want to go because it was boring and irrelevant to their life.

In recent years, there was been some push back about trying to make children's ministry fun for kids. Negative statements about parents asking their children if they had "fun" at church when they pick them up.

Hang on a minute. David said this about the house of the Lord in Psalm 122:1.

"I was GLAD when they said to me, 'Let us go to the house of the LORD'!" 

He didn't say he was sad. He said he was glad. 

How do we help kids be glad to go to the house of the Lord?  We create fun, creative environments that God uses to engage kids. 

BTW - when parents are asking their kids if they had fun at church, they are not just asking was it a party or environment where it was all fun and games. What they are saying is this...

Did they capture your attention today?  Did they engage you?  Was it relevant to your life? Did you learn anything significant.

Let's not hide behind excuses for not making church a relevant and engaging experience for kids. 

Cloaked in the fun factor is ministry that engages this new generation of kids. Fun doesn't have to mean "shallow" or "entertainment." It doesn't have to be one or the other. You can have fun and depth at the same time. I believe fun helps kids engage in discipleship. 

Bill Maher is a well known atheist.  He is very adamant against the things of God.  He even went so far as producing a movie called "Religulous." The movie follows Bill as he travels globally to question and satirize religious beliefs.  

In the movie he talks about going to church as a child. His words...

"I hated going because it was boring."

"I didn't quit because of any ideological idea...I quit because it wasn't relevant to my life."

I wonder...if he had been part of a relevant children's ministry as a child, would his life have taken a different route?

I believe that successful children's ministries do a great job at blending fun and discipleship. In other words, they make discipleship fun. 

There are some little Bills sitting in your children's ministry right now. Will you make your ministry fun and relevant to their life?  Their future as a Christ follower could hinge on it. 

FAMILY 

One big element that successful children's ministries have is family. This is all about relationships.

The ministry is a place that welcomes people and helps them become part of a faith family.

The ministry is a place that connects with parents and involves them in the discipleship pathway. 

The ministry is a place where volunteers serve alongside friends. 

The ministry is a place where children are known and cared for. 

The ministry is a place where children ministry volunteers are there for each other.

Listen closely to any successful children's ministry and you will hear the faint whisper of the song "We are family!"

So there you have it. 3 big elements of a successful children's ministry. I hope this has been a help and encouragement to you.  Take some time to think about these 3 elements.  Are they active in your ministry? 

What are some other elements of a successful children's ministry. Would love to hear your thoughts and insight. You can share in the comment section below.  

Today’s kids are growing up in an experience-driven culture. They eat in restaurants such as The Rainforest Café and Chuck E. Cheese, where a meal is not just about food, it’s about the whole themed experience. 

They experience rides at amusement parks that put them right in the middle of an unfolding, experiential story. 

They play video games that let them experience new worlds and adventures. The computer and smart phone have become a portal to unlimited experiences through virtual worlds, games, and online communities.

Let’s be real. We can’t compete. We’ll never have the resources to match what kids experience on a daily basis outside of church. But we can still create service experiences where kids encounter God and his truth in memorable ways.

How? It’s not as hard as you may think. Let’s start from scratch.

Get a creative team together. 

It can be made up of anywhere from three to six people.

Decide what Scripture / Biblical truth you are going to teach. 

Decide how you’re going to “package” or “theme” the Scripture.  The packaging or theme should be something culturally relevant to a child’s world.

Begin tossing out ideas and writing them down. 

Even if an idea is not used, it will spark other ideas. Many times the craziest idea will be the seed that brings a great plan to fruition. Normally, when you hit gold everyone will know it. Everyone’s eyes will light up when the idea is mentioned. It will just click.

Create your large-group experience. We use the large-group/small-group model. Here are the steps we follow to create a large-group experience.

Choose a worship song that reinforces the truth. Worship is a key element in helping kids experience God’s presence. The Bible tells us that God inhabits the praises of his people.

Use skits to reinforce the truth. Use skits that involve real-life scenarios that kids face so they can see the truth lived out. Skits can be done live or by video.

Use games that illustrate the truth. The first game should be high-energy, fun, and even messy. The second game can be more tame and can be a review tool.

Use a large-group lesson based on the truth or Bible story. 

Make it fun and interactive. 

Use stories to illustrate the truth. 

Personal stories from your own life are great. Also be sure to use lots of visuals such as pictures and video clips.

Create your small-group experience. 

The kids have been sitting in large-group time. They have been participating, but maybe in a limited way. Small-group time makes the whole experience complete. Here are some tips for small-group time.

Make it interactive. 

Kids want to talk. They want to be heard and known. So let them talk away. Use icebreaker questions and activities to get kids talking. Ask guided, open-ended questions that will get kids interacting.

Involve kids in the learning process. 

Use crafts, activities, and games that get kids moving, participating, and having fun as they learn.

Include Scripture. 

Go over the key Bible verse with kids. 

Use fun games and methods to help them remember it and understand its meaning.

Make it applicable. 

Talk about real-life situations kids might face where they could apply what they’ve learned. Then create a specific challenge for the coming week where they can live out that truth.

Pray. 

Let kids share prayer requests and spend a few minutes praying with them for those needs. Rely on the Holy Spirit to move in kids’ hearts so they can enjoy the greatest experience of all—God’s presence.

You can get more great ideas to grow your children's ministry in the book "100 Best Ways to Grow Your Children's Ministry. It is available at this link.

Are you having a hard time getting older kids to engage with your lessons? Are older kids saying your lessons are "boring?"

Let me help you fix that. Take a look at this quote from the master of helping kids engage with you.  None other than the man himself...Walt Disney. Here is what he said about this. 

It was the first entertainment that Walt Disney had ever designed expressly for children. ‘But we’re not going to talk down to the kids…let’s aim for the twelve-year-old. The younger ones will watch…
they’ll want to see what their older brothers and sisters are looking at.'

Walt knew that you have to aim high. In other words, if you’re trying to connect with kids of various ages in a large-group setting, always target the oldest kids in the group. If you connect with the older kids, you’ll grab the attention of all the kids.

Marketing experts know and practice this principle. I took their advice and created these guidelines for children’s programming. 

Target the oldest boy in the group. In other words, appeal to your oldest boys and you will appeal to everyone.

Choose music that will appeal to the oldest kids in the group. Know what style of music the oldest kids in your group are listening to. Nothing will turn off your group quicker than playing songs that sound too “babyish.”

Feature older kids in your graphics and videos. Our elementary print pieces contain pictures of the oldest kids in the age group. If we do a video or skit involving kids, we normally use fifth-and sixth-graders as actors.

Use the oldest kids in the room on the praise team. If the oldest boys in your group are standing around with their hands in their pockets during worship, check who’s leading. Our praise team is comprised of the oldest kids in the room, junior and senior high school students, plus adults.

Use clips from movies that upper elementary kids think are “cool.” If your clips are from movies aimed at upper elementary kids, you’ll engage all grades.

Bring in upper elementary kids, and ask them to rate the “coolness” of your programming. They can quickly help you identify what needs to be adjusted.

Take cues from pre-teen marketers. They can give you valuable ideas on how to connect with today’s older kids.

Have the oldest kids sit up front. Before I saw this quote from Walt, I would put the youngest kids up front and the older kids in the back. That was a mistake. When older kids see "little" kids in front of them, they will disengage because it appears to be for the little kids. 

Flip that. Put the oldest kids up front. This will help you engage all of the kids. Younger kids will look up front and see the older kids are engaging and it will cause everyone to engage. 

If older kids are bored with your lessons or events or programs, try this simple idea from Walt and you will see immediate results.

Have you read the best selling book "If Disney Ran Your Children's Ministry?" It has lots of great tips for engaging kids with your lessons. You can get it at this link. 

This past weekend, I had a meeting with all of the kids who are going to our summer camp and their parents. 

When we mentioned that there will be no game systems or cell phones allowed, a collective "uhhhh" sound was heard. 

The thought of not having their cell phone or gaming device for a week made them very uncomfortable. 

Today's kids...especially pre-teens...feel lost without their screens. 

But there are great benefits that come from having kids go "no screen" for a period of time.  

They get away from the constant pressure to answer a call or text.  With technology, we are now wired to respond immediately when our phone dings.  But at camp this urgency is removed which helps kids be more relaxed after the initial shock of not having their device.

Nearly half of the next generation spends every waking moment with screens. Playing games. Texting. Streaming. Watching. 

But let's be honest. It's not just the next generation struggling with this.  Adults also face the same challenge. Think about it. When you wake up in the morning, what do you immediately do? When you fall asleep at night, what are you doing? When you are sitting in a parking lot waiting for the kiddos, what are you doing? 

This is everyone's world today. Our phones and tablets and laptops keep us connected, help us with driving directions, let us order food on the go, listen to music, and a host of other apps and programs that help us navigate life in 2026. 

Did you know there are 6.92 billion smartphone users in the world? That's 86.29% of the global population. The average person in America spends 4 hours and 37 minutes every day on their smartphone.

The younger the generation, the more time they are spending with screens. Gen Z spends the most time with 9 hours per day. Millennials spend around 3.7 hours daily, while Gen X and Baby Boomers spend less time overall. 

Americans check their phones 96 times a day. That's once every ten minutes.  

Here is some more interesting facts about this... 

• 74% of Americans feel uneasy leaving their phone at home.

• 71% of say they check their phones within the first 10 minutes of waking up.

• 53% say that they have never gone more than 24 hours without their cell phone.

• 47% consider themselves “addicted” to their phones

• 70% check their phones within five minutes of receiving a notification.

• 64% use their phone on the toilet.

• 61% have texted someone in the same room as them

• 48% of people say they feel a sense of panic or anxiety when their cell phone battery goes below 20%.

• 45% say that their phone is their most valuable possession. 

Let's jump back and talk about kids now.

The average child ages 8 to 12 spends about 4.5 hours a day with screens. 

The first iPod came out in 2001 and the first iPhone in 2007. Today's kids have never known life without cell phone screens.  They've never used payphones or a physical map to drive somewhere. They've never been bound with a phone cord.  

Today's kids (and adults) are addicted to their screens. They use their smartphones or devices to socialize, learn, play, communicate, and search for information.   

Studies show that excessive screen time can lead to social isolation, negative impact on mental health, and reduced physical activity. It can also lead to anxiety, depression, and sleep deprivation.

In the book "The Anxious Generation" Jonathan Haidt says that phones began rewiring kids' brains in the the early 2010's. 

The shift has gone from "play-based childhood to "phone-based childhood."  Children have less access to outdoor play and just playing as kids do.

What's the solution? Haidt says we should make sure kids are getting time to play, delaying smartphone access to high school and limiting social media use until kids are at least 16 years old.

As I closed out the meeting with the campers and their parents this past weekend, I shared with them the spiritual benefits of being screen free at camp. This will allow their attention to be on God and what He wants to do in their life. Away from the screens, they will be more able to hear God more clearly and let Him draw them closer to Him. 

Digital detox!

Disconnecting to connect with God and other kids in a fresh way!

Here are some tips to pass along to parents not just for camp but in the flow of everyday life.

• Set up a time every day when devices are put away.  
• Spend more time outside.  Play outside. 
• Put phones away during meal time.
• Turn off notifications. 

Help kids see that screens are not bad...the devices just need to be managed properly.  I am believing that God is going to speak to our kids in a fresh way at camp and that with the absence of screens it will be easier for them to hear His voice and respond. 

Should children be brought into the "adult" worship service?  Should children have their own age appropriate worship service / class?  

Some would compare bringing a child into the adult worship service to bringing a child into a college lecture.  We agree that when it comes to education, children should be in an age appropriate class or experience. 6-year-olds go to a first grade class at school. 9-year-olds go to a 4th grade class at school.  They don't go to college at that point in their life because it is not age-appropriate and the child would get little to no benefit from the teaching. 

Here are some thoughts on this that I found online.

"I remember being in service as a kid. I remember absolutely nothing. Communion was cool because I got to eat Hawaiian bread or sourdough."

"Children can't handle a 30-45 minute sermon. But obviously a 30-45 minute sermon is the essential centerpiece of corporate worship."

"While we're at it let's skip kindergarten and start their education in college."

"Our last church, the pastor was adamant kids of all ages needed to be in church, then made services two hours long, right at lunch time (an hour plus of that was his sermon). My kids hated church. When it was time to get ready for church there were crying meltdowns. Not how I want my kids to feel about church. We moved, joined a better church, and now send our kids to children’s church during the sermon. They’re much happier, and we can listen to the sermon instead of trying to make them behave."

"I just don't get some of your reasoning. I respect your opinions, but it just seems disconnected from reality to me. Would you send your kids to a college lecture? No, because they wouldn't get hardly anything from it. They wouldn't understand 99% of it. That's why they work their way up. The same goes for church, IMO. Is having them in the main service distracting others when they are hardly going to take anything from it really worth it when they could be in Sunday school learning things at their own capacity? It's not worth it in my opinion. I understand doing it sometimes, but it just seems unrealistic to expect your kids to be in the main service every time. I think it's a lot more beneficial for them to be in a class that is geared towards them."

As we head into a new year, there is an ongoing area of concern when it comes to families attending church consistently. 

Let's be honest.  The average family attends your church 1 to 2 times a month.  Yes, there are exceptions to this.  At most churches, there is a core group of people who are there nearly every week.  Normally, these are key volunteers that are bought in with the church's vision and are very, very committed to spreading the good news of the Gospel.  

I was raised in this type of household.  We were at church every time the doors were open.  The primary reason was because my parents were in full-time ministry and were, again, committed to spreading the Gospel, first and foremost to their own family and then the world.

So...why the shift?  Why are the average families in our churches only attending church 1 to 2 times a month?  

Here are some of the biggies...

Sports.  

We live in a culture where involvement in sports is considered an important part of a child's growing up experience. Parents are very committed to seeing their children involved in sports. 

Don't get me wrong. I think sports for kids is a good thing.  I played sports growing up...but not during church time.  In that time, very few sporting events for kids were held on Sunday, so it was not an issue.  

Fast forward to today.  Kids are involved in sports to the extreme. For many, many families sports takes precedent over church.  I was talking with a mother a few days ago and she was sharing with me that their family will be gone for the next 5 weekends as their 10-year-old daughter has dance competitions.  

This is the norm for many families and it is a big reason why families are only attending your church 1 to 2 times a month or even less.

You can read more about sports and church attendance in a recent article I wrote called "Travel Ball Children's Ministry?" Yes or No?

Online Worship.

I remember talking with a family at church before the service. The father told me he would have rather stayed home as a family and watched online that day.  But he went on to say that they showed up in person because their daughter didn't want to miss her small group.  

Online worship is a great way to reach and disciple people.  I believe any church that is not reaching people online is missing a key component in today's culture. 

But that being said...for kids...I don't believe anything can replace the personal interaction kids have with other children, caring volunteers, and engaging children's pastors / directors when they are at church in person.

Divorce

Many families have joint custody due to divorce. One parent attends church consistently and the other  parent does not.  This obviously means that when they are with one parent they are in church and when they are with the other parent they are not in church.  This means they are only in church twice a month or less.

Lowered Expectations.

When I was a kid growing up in church, there was an attendance chart on the wall.  Each child in the class had their name on the attendance chart.  Every Sunday we were in attendance, we got a star by our name. It was a big deal.  We all wanted to have perfect attendance and strove for it. 

Today, I believe we fall short in encouraging parents to have their children (and themselves) in church on a consistent basis. Yes, there are weekends when families are going to be gone.  Holidays.  Vacations. Sickness.  Business.

Yes...we have to be balanced while we are encouraging families to be in church each week.  We don't want to become legalistic in this. But I am afraid we have swung too far the other way and rarely share with parents how important it is to have their children in church each week. 

What can we do as ministry leaders as we face this dilemma? 

I don't have all the answers in changing families' hearts and helping them see the importance of being in church consistently.  But I do believe there are some key steps we can take to help in this area.  Let's talk about a few of them.

Start when the children are young.  One of the best things I have done when it comes to this is talking about the importance of church attendance to young parents.  Let's be honest.  You are going to have a hard time getting parents to pull their 4th grader out of sports that conflict with when your church offers services. 

But you can encourage young parents to live out Matthew 6:33 and put God first as they raise their children.  

One of the best times to do this is during your Parent and Child Dedication.  Have a dedication class that parents have to go through before they dedicate their child.  In this class, spend some time talking about the importance of church attendance.  Talk about living out Matthew 6:33 as a family and putting God first in every area of their life.  If you can connect with parents about this when their children are young, you will see more parents bringing their children to church consistently.

Offer alternatives. 

Could your church host a sport's league?  

Basketball?  Soccer?  Flag Football?  Cheer leading?

I have used Upward sports several times in local churches and saw great results not only with helping families attend church but also reaching unchurched families.Could your church offer a summer sport's camp?  This could be used in place of VBS or be offered as a separate program.  

Help parents see the importance of church attendance in child discipleship.

Think about this.  

If a child only attends church once a month, they are missing 75% of the Bible teaching. 

If a child only attends church twice a month, they are missing 50% of the Bible teaching. 

If a child only attended school once or twice a month, they would receive a very limited education. The same principle applies with church attendance.  Frequency of church attendance can be a measuring mark in faith development.

We must help parents understand that their children are watching them.  When parents skip church or put church as just another item to check off their "to do" list if they don't have anything else planned, it  whispers to children that church is not a priority.  When children see this, they are more prone to not make church a priority at all. 

What one generation sees as optional, the next generation will see as unnecessary.               Dale Hudson

What do see in your ministry? 

Does these stats ring true for you?

What are some other things that hinder consistent church attendance?

How can we encourage parents to be more consistent when it comes to church attendance?

Share your thoughts with everyone in the comment section below.

Have you noticed that kids love to watch the same show or episode over and over again? Have you noticed they love to hear the same story read again and again? 

There are reasons for this and we need to focus on this.

Repetition obviously has great benefits for children’s learning and well being. 

We know that repetition is a key part of learning.  

The Bible confirms this. Look what it says in Deuteronomy 6:7. 

"Repeat them again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up." 

Children are constantly searching for the occurrence of regularities and patterns in their lives. It makes sense that children’s brains search for repetition because it helps them learn.

Repetition helps kids feel competent and in control. We know that kids are constantly being challenged to grow and learn.  They are always being stretched.  When they are able to master challenges through repetition, it helps them feel competent. They feel a sense of control which is very important for children.

"When children return to watch the same show, what they are doing, whether they know it or not, is driven by a desire to detect and consolidate the patterns in what they are watching, hearing or reading."           Eric Smalley 

Repetition provides children with a source of comfort and security that buffers against the stress and uncertainty of the many messages and challenges coming their way.

Here's an example. Well-known stimuli, such as that TV episode they’ve already watched many times, can provide a source of comfort and security that buffers against stress and uncertainty.  

Are you using repetition when teaching kids?  

Are you being strategic by intentionally including repetition in your lesson plans?

Do you know the value of repetition?

Did you know that if a child hears something once a month that their retention rate will only be about 10%?  But if a child hears something 6 times in a month that their retention rate goes up to 90%? 

If you want your teaching to make a long-term impact in kids' lives then you need to use repetition.

Think with me about the difference between short-term memory and long-term memory.  Obviously short-term memory teaching doesn't stick with kids for a lifetime.  Long-term memory does.  

John 15:16 says this...

"...but I chose you and appointed you so that you could go and produce fruit and so that your fruit could last."

Repetition is one of the key ways that you can see fruit remain in the lives of children into adulthood and for the rest of their lives.

I know that you want to see your fruit remain.  Truth that is repeated is truth that will remain.  

As I design curriculum, I make sure that repetition is a big factor in it.  The key truth in each teaching series is repeated dozens of times. This helps kids remember the key truths for the rest of their life. 

Here is my guarantee to you.  Try one of my curriculum teaching series. If the kids don't remember the key truth of the series, then I will give you a full refund.  Yes...you read that correctly. I will give you a full refund if the kids can't remember the key truths 6 months from now...a year from now...for the rest of their life. 

I have designed the curriculum with 12 key truths.  12 key truths that are the foundation for a child growing in their faith and sticking with the faith for a lifetime. 

You can see and check out the curriculum at this link.  

Feel free to contact me if you have questions at dale@buildingchildrensministry.com.

Repeat...repeat...repeat...repeat...repeat. It is crucial. 

Last week, I made a big mistake and it became very obvious when Sunday morning rolled around.

Here's what happened. I was responsible for putting together the pro presenter (video / graphic slides).  Normally when I am assigned this task, I take care of it on Thursday. I make sure it is prepared and ready to go.  

Last week, I made the mistake of procrastinating on this.  I told myself I would take care of it on Friday.  I then put it off to Saturday. 

Saturday I got busy and here's the mistake I made.  I told myself that I would go to church early on Sunday and take care of it. 

Sunday morning rolled around I got to the church early to take care of what I should have taken care of on Thursday.  

But then something happened. The file I was preparing started acting wacky.  I couldn't get it to load.  I keep getting error messages.  I called in a tech guy and he couldn't figure it out either.  

Remember when Jesus cast the demons out of the man and then they entered the pigs and ran off a cliff?  The demons ended up leaving the pigs and I believe they entered churches' audio and video systems, where today they cause havoc at the worst possible times (that's a joke).

As the class start time inched close and closer, a feeling of disappointment engulfed me.  Disappointment in myself for making the big mistake of procrastination.  I should have never depended on doing something last minute.  I had left myself no margin for fixing the problem.  

Normally, I make sure the presentation is ready to go before I leave on Thursday.  This gives me the margin I need to fix any problems that might arise before the weekend arrives.

Think about this.

Preparation or perplexity.  Those are your options.

Because of my mistake, we had to adjust the schedule and teaching plan for several grades.  It was definitely a sub par kid's service that day.  All because of my procrastination.

Do you procrastinate at times?  It normally comes back to bite you, doesn't it? 

Here are a few tips that can help you beat procrastination and not make the mistake I did.

Admit that you are procrastinating. 

Put a specific date and time you will complete the task.  Don't let anything deter you from finishing by that date and time.

Make sure the date you schedule has a time margin built in to fix any hiccups that may occur. 

Be ready to go before you go.

Lists....lists...lists...live by them.

If you are not able to finish a task due to the fact you have too much on your plate, prioritize your do list so time sensitive tasks are at the top of your list.  

Develop a rhythm and work schedule that you can sustain. If having too many tasks to complete in the amount of time you have, you may need to take some things off your plate. Better to do a few tasks that you can accomplish on time than a bunch of tasks that you can't complete due to your work load.  Less is more for sure. 

Do you have trouble with procrastination?  What are some tips or insight you have to help overcome this? Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

Have you ever led a kids' service or class where the kids seemed to be ignoring everything you are saying?

They were giggling.  They were talking out of turn.  They were bothering each other.  They were not looking at you as you tried to teach them. 

I had this experience last weekend when I was leading our pre-teen class.   I wondered if they were getting anything out of the lesson.  

I guess I shouldn't complain. I purposely encouraged the class to talk when it was their time to talk.  I let them play some noisy, funny games that were tied into the main point of the lesson. I had a fun ice-breaker that got them talking with each other. But I was okay with the noise and seemingly chaos at times.  It was actually part of my teaching strategy.

Have you seen a learning diagram?  Here's what it says when it comes to how kids learn and retain truth in a classroom setting. 

Lecturing - 5% effectiveness

Reading - 10% effectiveness

Audio Visual - 20% effectiveness

Demonstration - 30% effectiveness

Discussion groups - 50% effectiveness

Practice by doing - 75% effectiveness

Teaching others - 90% effectiveness

As you can see, the more kids talk and interact with each other the more they retain from the lesson. 

Now I know this seems contrary to how many of us were taught when we were kids. We were "sssshhhhhed" and told to be quiet and sit still.  I mean...that is how kids learn best, right?  Actually, it's the opposite if you look at the chart. 

At the end of the lesson this past weekend, I threw in some review questions.  I was surprised at how much the kids had retained.  Even down to some of the small details I mentioned just in passing. They walked out of class knowing the lesson and application.  

I was reminded that even when kids don't seem to be listening, they are listening...maybe just not in the way we would prefer.  But...that's probably a good thing.  Today's kids are growing up in a world that is far different from previous generations.  Today's kids learn best by doing.  

Is it going to be more noisy than we are used to?  Probably.  

But that's okay.  Today's kids can learn just fine by multi-tasking.  So let up a little.  Don't be so hard on them.  Give them room to talk and play and be kids during your lesson.  Even when things seem to be getting a little out of hand,  just stick with them.  Whether they are talking or if they are quiet, they are learning.  Test them at the end of the class time and you will see this to be true. 

Begin seeing yourself as a facilitator instead of a lecturer.  You are there to help the kids learn by facilitating active learning.  That's how they learn best.

We often see the staggering statistics that show the high percentage of kids who grow up and walk away from the faith.

But the good news is this - it doesn't have to be that way.

As we look into God's Word, we see that one of the big keys to seeing kids stick with their faith is to get them involved in serving.

Never are kids more like Jesus than when they are serving.

“For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to SERVE others and to GIVE His life as a ransom for many.”
Mark 10:45 21

When you give kids the opportunity to serve, you are giving them an opportunity to be like Jesus. Studies show that kids who serve at church end up sticking with their faith and church for the rest of their life. There is something about serving that helps kids stay the course. There is something about serving that activates faith and captivates a child’s heart for Jesus. Serving is a huge key to seeing kids follow Jesus for a lifetime.

The Bible says that faith without works is dead. But when we start serving and helping others, our faith comes alive at a whole new level. This is crucial if we want to see kids grow up to serve Jesus for a lifetime.

When I was 16-years-old, I was attending church, but serving wasn’t a priority on my list of things to do. All I really cared about was my car, girls and sports. But that all changed when my youth pastor approached me about serving in the children’s ministry. I put him off for several weeks, but he kept asking. So I finally said, “Okay, I will come by and check it out this Sunday.” God used serving to help me surrender to His plan for my life. 37 years later, I am still serving Jesus and helping children and families know and follow Jesus. For me, serving has been the thing that has helped me stay the course.

Today’s kids are growing up with us pushing slogans like“Sunday Funday” at them and then we wonder why they grow up and realize they can have more “fun” outside of church on Sunday. Bottom line...we’re conditioning them to think that it’s all about them. We’re teaching them to “love themselves” more than we are teaching them to “love God with all your heart, mind and soul.” And when they get older, they walk away from church since they have other sources that can boost their self-esteem without asking for 10% of their paycheck.

And when they get older, they check out because if it’s all about them...why spend Sunday in church, when you can be happier “worshiping God on a hike or at the lake or at the ballfield?” When we let kids be the church today, it helps activate their faith and makes it come alive!  Kids serving as greeters are more likely to grow up to be adults who serve as greeters. Kids having a part in teaching the lesson are more likely to grow up to be adults teaching the lesson. Kids spreading the Gospel are more likely to grow up to be adults spreading the Gospel. Kids serving as ushers are more likely to grow up to be adults serving as ushers. Kids involved in missions are more likely to grow up to be adults involved in missions. 

A key component to spiritual growth is serving. Many times the reason a person is stagnated in their growth is because they are not serving. Faith without serving is going to have a hard time growing. As we share what God is teaching us through serving, we are creating a pathway for our own roots to grow deeper. Why do you think kids return from a missions or outreach trip with a deeper, spiritual
commitment? Because as they served others, God took them to a new level spiritually. Kids don’t have to wait until they are adults to serve. You learn what you live. Be intentional about creating weekly and event serving opportunities.

Will you encourage the kids in your church to be the church of today?

When people engage in serving, they are much more consistent in their attendance, right?  The more kids and families we are able to move into serving, the more consistent attendance we will see.

When children understand that God has a purpose for their life and they can be used of God to impact others for the kingdom, they will engage wholeheartedly.  Here are some steps you can take to see this happen in your ministry.

#1 - Teach it.
Make sure serving is a key component of what you teach children. Use passages such as Mark 9:33-35 to teach children what God’s Word says about being a servant.

#2 - Model it.
Serving is just as much caught as it is taught. Jesus modeled serving for His disciples by washing their feet. Let kids see you serving others.

#3 - Give them opportunities to live it.
Kids don’t have to wait until they are adults to serve. Be intentional about creating weekly and event serving opportunities for them.

#4 - Partner with parents to demonstrate it. When kids serve alongside their parents, it makes a lasting impression. Have serving opportunities that brings kids and parents together.  

#5 - Honor it. Honor serving and faithfulness more than talent.

Here are some practical ways you can give kids opportunities to serve and make an impact:

• Pre-teen serving projects.
• Serving opportunities after church services.
• Serving alongside their parents.
• Leading worship.
• Pre-service impact opportunities.
• Involve them in special offerings.
• Give them ways to invite people to attend church.
• Greeters and hosts for new kids.
  

Guess who runs the AV for us during the kids' services at my home church?  A first-grader.  Yes. You read that correctly...a first-grader.  And he does an amazing job.  I am involving him in serving now and I believe one day he will be running the AV in the adult service as an adult who grew up and never walked away from his faith. 

Do you have a copy of my book "Fertile Soil...See Kids' Faith Grow and Flourish for a Lifetime?"  In this book, I share the 3 biggest reasons why kids grow up and walk away from the faith.  Then I share the keys to seeing kids' faith grow and flourish for a lifetime. It is available at this link.

My parents took me to the games.  My dad would play catch and pitch with me each evening after he came home from work.  

I pitched in baseball and threw a one-hitter when I was in elementary school.  

But when there was a scheduling conflict and there was a choice to play in a game on Sunday morning or go to church, my parents made sure I was in church.  For them, as parents, they made the decision that we would always choose God over playing in a baseball game.  Thankfully back then, there were rarely any games scheduled on Sunday morning. 

It seems that was a different time and age. Today games are often played on Sunday.  Especially when you get into playing with traveling teams.  Kids can go 6-7 weeks in a row with games on Sunday and sadly, many parents make the decision to bow their knee to the sports gods. Some even have kids playing in 2 sports at the same time.

Here is the dilemma this creates.  Kids grow up thinking church is optional.  It is not a priority that many parents are committed to.  With this happening, don't be surprised when kids grow up and think that a relationship with God is optional.  

Even among families whose children are not playing sports, church has become something to do if there are no other conflicts.  Instead of there even being a question about going to church, they put church as a low priority.  Something to do when it's too cold to go to the lake...something to do when you don't have a baseball or soccer game scheduled...something to do when you aren't catching up on chores or duties around the house.  

In many families, this translates to parents bringing their children to church 1-2 times a month.  Looking down the road, if parents continue with this pattern, their children will be Biblically illiterate when they grow up. 

It's time we speak the truth about this to parents.  I believe most parents mean well.  Some think if they can get their child ahead in sports when they are young, that one day they will be good enough to play D1 football for a major college and get a scholarship. But stats show that a tiny percentage of kids ever achieve this. 

Of the few who do go on to play college football, only 1.8% will be drafted by the NFL. Bottom line? If your child is playing high school football, their chance of making it to the NFL are 0.08 percent. 

It's time we challenge parents to make church attendance a top priority.  It's time kids are brought to church more than just once a month or less.  

Parents need to step up and make their calendar show their children that serving God is what really matters. 

It's time that we encourage parents to live out this Biblical truth.  

"But if serving the LORD seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the LORD.” Joshua 24:15.

Now I know this can be a challenge with families who are already heavily involved in sports.  So what should you do?  I have found the following strategy works. 

Encourage the families who are already bowing the knee to the sports gods. Share the truth with them from a heart of love and compassion.  You will see some parents make changes to their sports schedule.

But I have found the best time to challenge parents in this matter is when their children are very young.  One strategy is to have a class attached to your Parent and Child Dedication milestone.  In this class is a great opportunity to speak into the lives of young parents who will be starting to make some decisions about how much their child will be involved in sports when they get older. 

I have a class I created for this that is being used by hundreds of churches across the country.  In the class, I spend about 15 minutes sharing with the parents what the dedication means and then 30 minutes talking to them about how to raise their children to love and follow Jesus.  I talk about the god of sports and encourage them to put God first when it comes to those decisions.  I have seen a lot of fruit from doing this.

If you'd like order the Parent and Child Dedication class, you can do so at this link. 

The Bible tells us that one day, every knee will bow and every tongue will confess that Jesus is Lord.  We will give an account of how we raised our children and what our priorities were.  Let's help the families that God puts in our pathway to see how important it is to live out Matthew 6:33.

Seek FIRST the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.

Who will the families in your ministry bow the knee to?  Sports or Jesus?  They each have to make these choices.  Let's simply be a kind, compassionate voice that shares with them that making Jesus the center of their life and time is the best decision they will ever make for their family.

Did you know that parents are more likely to subscribe to a streaming service if it offers content for their children?  

A recent study about Gen Z and Gen Alpha's role in subscribing to streaming services shows this to be true.

The study revealed that 56% of kids and teens influence their parents to subscribe to streaming apps that have content they like.

66% of parents also say the most important factor in choosing a streaming TV app is what it has to offer for their kids.  What their children want to watch even trumps making a decision based on cost.

43% of the parents of Gen Alpha kids are twice as likely to unsubscribe from an app if it doesn’t meet their children’s content need.

This should be a reminder for us again about the influence children have when making family decisions.

This is true in your ministry as well.  When it comes to choosing a church, the majority of families will make their decision based on their children's experience in the church.  Children play a huge role in a family attending a church or not.

Dad and mom may like the adult service, but if their children don't enjoy the children's services and programs, they will look for another church. 

Here's what we must keep in mind. 

Children's ministry can be a major growth engine for a church. 

This means that churches that want to grow should make children's ministry a top priority.  

The biggest budget item should be children's ministry.

The most promoted ministry should be children's ministry.

The best volunteers should serve in children's ministry. 

The children's ministry facility / space should be the best area of the church. 

Children's ministry should constantly be promoted. 

This week, there will be lots of families who will drive past nice restaurants to get to McDonald's and Chik-fil-a.  Why?  Because that's where their kids want to go.

The same applies to your church.  

My prayer is that your church will become known in your town as the place for kids and families. When this happens, be prepared to grow.

Why?  Because kids are the decision makers.

Don't you wish you had the wisdom of Solomon?  Don't you wish that you could easily explain the hard questions we are often confronted with?

Many people assume it is easy to answer kids' questions. Actually, it's quite the contrary.  Kids can ask some of the hardest questions every pondered.

Where did God come from?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

If God knew the devil would do evil things, why did He create Him?

What about kids who live in foreign lands and never hear about Jesus as they are growing up?  Will they go to heaven?

Why doesn't God stop things like tornadoes, hurricanes, tsunamis and earthquakes from happening?

How do we know the Bible is true?  What makes it different from other books?

These are all valid questions that we need to help kids find the answers to.  In fact, I wouldn't wait until they ask the questions. I would be proactive and seek out these types of questions to discuss with the kids.

You want this to happen now when they are younger.  If they hear these questions for the first time in a secular college classroom, the result will not be good. While they are young, we must help them question, search and find the answers to the hard questions.  

The battlefield for the next generation begins in elementary school now, not in high school. 

Our children's ministries should be a safe place where kids can ask anything.  A place where they can work with caring leaders to find the answers to the hard questions.  A place that empowers them to defend their faith.  A place where kids can be equipped to answer the hard questions.

Here are some ways you can help kids explore the hard questions and find the answers in God's Word.

Let your children's ministry be a place where anyone can ask anything without being made to feel like they don't believe or they are doubting God.

We all have questions at times.  Deep questions that make you ponder if what you have been told is really true.  

It's part of the discipleship journey.  Let kids know their hard questions are welcome. See it as a way to help them grow in their faith.

Be okay with saying "I don't know the answer to that.  But I will find the answer for you and we can talk about it next week."

Take time to do a deep dive and find out the answers that week. Present your findings to the kids the next week.

Be proactive and bring up the hard questions.  Let kids explore and find the answers.  You want them to get the answers to the questions now.

I am currently teaching the kids in my home church an apologetics series called "Pranksters."  The main thing I want them to understand is that people are going to try to prank them and say the Bible is not true.  When that happens, they need to know that the Bible is true and you can trust it completely. 

We are looking at some hard questions and together finding the answers.  We are even looking at some verses that atheists say contradict each other.  Here's a video clip from one of the lessons.

  I am also preparing to teach the kids a series called "Mythbusting."  We are exploring and answering these hard questions with the kids. 

Is God Real or Not?

Did we come from a big bang or not?

Is the Bible God's Word or not?

Is Jesus the Son of God or not?

Here is a video from this series.

If we do not teach kids apologetics while they are young, they will apologize for what we taught them when they are older.

These lesson series are available for you at this link. 

Kids will ask hard questions.  Be ready.

Listen as parents pick up their children after Sunday School or Kids' Church.  

Most of the time you will hear parents ask their children this question:

Did you have fun today?

Fun at church. What exactly does that mean?  What are parents really asking their children? 

When they ask "Did you have fun today" what they are really asking is...

Did you have any friends there?

Was the teaching relevant to your life?

Did they get your attention?

Did anyone pray for you?  

Fun means so much more than fun.  If fun means solely that children are entertained, then we've fallen way short of what we should be seeking to accomplish during class time. 

Fun means sharing God's Word with children in a way that captures their attention and engages their heart, mind and soul.  Fun means you teach children using the methods they learn best by. 

The opposite of fun is boredom.  Boredom happens when children's ministry leaders try to teach children using outdated methods.  When boredom sets in, children will begin to squirm, talk and disengage.  If your teaching is boring,  kids will invent their own interactive curriculum.

This being said, let's look at 10 ways you can make church fun for kids. 

#1 - Give them opportunities to talk.  The opposite of fun is forcing kids to sit and listen to a talking head for an extended period of time.  Use icebreakers, discussions and other opportunities to get kids talking.  Be intentional about creating designated time for kids to talk throughout the class time.

#2 - Use games to learn.  Kids love to play games.  Tie games into the lesson.  Use games to spark conversations about the lesson truth.  Don't play games just to be playing games.  Make it a key part of your lesson.

#3 - Give them lots of opportunities to move.  Kids...they've got to move it...move it...move it. It's wired into their DNA.  Use worship songs that include motions.  As mentioned, play games and use activities that get them moving.   

Get them in a small group where they can talk with and interact with caring leaders.  A previous point I mentioned was giving kids the opportunity to talk.  The best place for this to happen is in a small group, Sunday school setting. 

Work hard to make sure your ratios are good.  This will give volunteers the time they need to engage kids in individual and group conversations. It's hard to have individual conversations in a "small" group of 20 kids.

#5 - Find ways they can serve.  Ask a group of children if they are willing to serve and you'll see almost all of their hands go up.  Kids love to serve.  They want to make a difference. We just need to give them an opportunity to do so.  Kids can run audio/video.  Kids can be greeters.  Kids can help clean up.  Kids can help distribute class materials.  The list goes on.

Someone said the reason many adults don't serve is because they were told to "sit still and be quiet" when they were children. 

#6 - Use lots of visual imagery.  Kids hear with their eyes.  I was at a church consulting this past weekend and I sat in for one of their large group sessions.  When the teacher was talking, the kids were restless and weren't engaged.  They then used a video for the lesson and when the video started, you could have heard a pin drop.  All of the kids got still and listened without exception.  Make sure you are using curriculum that has plenty of visuals. 

#7 - Use curriculum that engages children and captures their attention.  Does the curriculum you are using grab kids' attention?  Does it have a good mixture of video and live teaching?  Check out my curriculum - Connect 12.  I guarantee you the kids will engage with it throughout the class time.

#8 - Hang out with them before and after service.  Pre-service and post-service is a great time to invest in children and connect with them.  Make sure your volunteers are spending time with the kids before and after service.  This makes a big difference and helps make church "fun" for kids.

#9 - Enlist high school volunteers.  Kids love high schoolers.  That's why "High School Musical" was so popular with kids. Work with your youth pastor to get teens serving in children's ministry.  Not only will it benefit the kids, but it will help the teens serve Jesus as well.  Stats show that teens who serve have a much greater chance to follow Jesus for a life-time.

#10 - Sing modern worship songs that will sing to.  Is your worship time fun?  Does it get kids moving and clapping?  The best way to judge this is simple.  Just watch them during worship and see if they are singing.  If they are not singing and engaging with the motions, it may be time to try some new worship songs and get some volunteers who can lead with more energy.  I have some really cool worship music for kids written by my friend, Travis August.  You can get more information at this link.  

Your turn.  What are some other ways you make church "fun" for kids?  Share your thoughts and insight in the comment section below.

p.s. My book "If Disney Ran Your Children's Ministry" is a great resource to help you make your church "fun for kids."  You can get your copy at this link.