RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

This past weekend,  I was serving as a volunteer in the children's ministry of my home church.

Before the children's service starts, we have about 20 minutes of free time to connect with the kids.

I noticed a new little boy that came into the room. You could tell he was nervous.  He didn't know any of the other kids.

As I walked up to greet him, he looked at me and said, "Can someone play with me?"  I responded by saying "Yes...I would be glad to play with you. What do you want to play?  Puzzles?  Lite Brite?  Connect4?  Crafts?  Corn Hole? Hula Hoops?"

He looked at me and said, "Can we play that?"  It was a Jenga game.  I said, yes...let's play.  So I got down on the ground and we stacked the Jenga blocks way up high.  

While we were stacking the blocks, I was able to talk with him and find out more about his life, family, school, hobbies, etc.  It was one of the most important things I did yesterday as a volunteer.  

When he asked "Can someone play with me?"  he was asking for someone to be his friend.  

He was asking if anyone would care about him?  

He was asking this to see if he was going to "fit in?"         

He was asking to see if this was a place where he would feel love and accepted?

He was asking if someone would let him in rather than pushing him out?

Thankfully, I was able to help him get acclimated and plugged in. 

This weekend, a new boy or girl, will walk into your children's ministry for the very first time.

Make sure there is someone there to play with them.

What are some things you can talk with them about?  Here are 20 questions you can ask kids to get the conversation started.

How did your week go?  What was the best part of your week?

What's your favorite video game (or toy) that you like to play?

What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you? (share yours as well)

Do you have any pet(s)?  If so, tell me about your pet(s).  (share about a pet you had growing up)

What's your favorite kind of candy? (share yours as well)

What do you like to do for fun?

What is your favorite color? 

What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

Where is one of the coolest places you have gone to on vacation?

What is your favorite Bible story? (share about yours as well)

What is your favorite movie?

What is your favorite book?

If you could open a store, what would you sell?

What is something that you are really good at?

When is your birthday?

If you had $100, what would you spend it on?

Who is your favorite superhero?  If you were a superhero, who would you want to be?

Can you tell me a joke? (you can tell one as well)

What is your favorite holiday?

Do you have any brothers or sisters?  Tell me about them.

When it comes to getting kids to open up and talk, asking open-ended questions can be great conversation starters.  Feel free to print these and give them to your volunteers to use with kids.

Communicating well is very important in children's ministry.  

Here are a few tips that can help you be a pro at talking with kids. 

Get on their eye level.  We forget as adults, what it's like to be a child looking up at this tall, big person staring down at you.  Kneel down so they can see you face-to-face.

Eye contact is very important. One of the best preschool leaders I had would get down on her knees and greet each child as they entered her room.  She would tell the child, "I am so glad you are here today.  I've been waiting all week to see you."

Be positive when redirecting them.  Here's an example.  Instead of saying, “no running,” try: “Inside we walk, outside you may run.” 

Speak politely.  Help children to learn to say "please" by being the example.  Use the words "please" and "thank you" when talking with them. Speak to them the way you want them to speak to you.

Speak encouraging words.  Your words hold so much power when it comes to children.  You can make a huge impact by encouraging them with your words.  In this post, I share 20 ways you can encourage children with your words.

Call them up instead of calling them out.  Kids hear all the time what they have done wrong.  Instead of putting them down, call them up to the behavior you'd like to see.  Here's an example.

If a child picks on another child - instead of saying, "Stop picking on so and so.  That is not a nice thing to do and I am disappointed in you doing this."

Call them up by saying, "God wants us to treat each other with kindness.  I want to call you up to God's best.  He is kind and merciful when He deals with us.  And as His children, He wants us to be the same.  Follow His ways by being nice to the other children in your class."

Talk about their interests and show them you care about them.  What video game system do you have?  What is your favorite flavor of ice cream?  What is your favorite movie?  How is school going?  What is something really cool that happened to you this week?  

When you do this, kids will open their hearts to listen to what you have to say.  You know this quote - it is so true.  "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care."

Don't talk down to them.  Make sure you are age appropriate.  A 5th grader doesn't want to be talked to like he or she is a baby.  According to their age, talk to them like you would an adult.  Kids pick up what tone you are using.  Don't use a condescending tone of voice.

Use the child's name.  Children are just like adults. The sweetest sound to them is their own name.

Ask open ended questions.  Here's an example.  Instead of saying "Did you have a good week at school? Say, "What was the best part of school this week?

Pets are usually a good topic when you are making small talk with a child.  They will perk up and begin sharing enthusiastically about their pet. 

Don't be harsh.  When you yell or speak aggressively to a child, it can be harmful and damage your relationship with them.  Speak calmly even when you are speaking words of discipline.

I hope these tips will be helpful as you talk with kids.  What are some other tips you have?  Share your thoughts in the comment section below.