RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

If you are reading this, it's because you are a leader.  The old saying is true...leaders are readers.

And as a leader, obviously you have people who are following your leadership.  But let me ask you a question.  Why are people following you?

People follow leadership for different reasons.  

Fear of the leader.  An example of this is a dictator, who people follow because if they don't, they will be put 6 feet under.

A common cause with the leader.  An example of this would be a group of people following a leader because they want to help the leader feed hungry people.

They can personally benefit from following the leader.  This would be someone following the boss at work because it's how they can get a promotion...which means more money for them.

The leader has earned their trust and respect.  The leader has strong moral character and integrity.  They see these character traits in the leader and follow out of trust and respect.

They have no other choice.  Perhaps they are just a few years from retirement in the company and don't want to jeopardize their future.

The leader has great qualities.  It might be a skill the leader has.  It might be the boss is extremely smart.  It might be the leader is looked up to as a "winner."   They follow because they want those sames skills in their life.

The leader offers hope.  Hope for their future.  Hope for not getting stuck.  Hope for supporting their family at a better level.

While these are good reasons for people to follow you (except the fear one), I believe the biggest one is not on the list above.

I offer this thought today:

If you want to lead people, you must first love people.

I believe this.  When someone knows you really care about them, it will result in the person caring about you and the vision you are asking them to pursue.

Jesus was such a great example of this.  He built close relationships with the disciples who followed Him.  Look what He says to them in John 15:15

No longer do I call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

The disciples knew Jesus loved them.  He proved it time and time again.  He proved it by forgiving Peter when he denied Him.  He proved it by washing their feet.  He proved it by spending time with them.  He proved it by giving His life as a sacrifice for their sins.

Jesus took His leadership with the disciples to the ultimate way to lead well.  Love.  Check this verse out.  The scene is at the foot of the cross.  Jesus is talking with his disciple John. 

"Then when Jesus saw His mother and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, 'woman, behold your son'."

Jesus' way of leadership stood in stark contrast with the way other people lead in his day.  

The Romans lead with fear.  Do what I say or you will be killed! 

The Pharisees led by offering no other choice.  Follow the rules or else.  Follow the Old Testament laws or we will not associate with you.

Look back again at what Jesus says in John 15.

"Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends."

The ultimate leadership...the greatest leadership is empowered by love.  And Jesus proved this by dying on the cross.  That's ultimate love.  That's ultimate leadership.  The kind of leadership that changed the world.

I want to remind you that people don't follow a title.  An amazing office with a great window view won't cause people to follow you.  Throwing money at people with promotions won't cause people to follow you long-term.

The bottom line is this:  People are going to follow you when they know you really care about them.  When they know you love them, not for what they do, but rather for who they are, they will follow you anywhere. 

On this Monday morning, pause for a few minutes to ponder these questions...

Am I leading with love?

Am I showing people I love them by caring for them, being there for them and empowering them?

Do the people I lead know I've got their back?

When was the last time I showed my team that I love them by doing something for them?

Do I spend time with my team on a weekly basis?

Do I know the love languages of people on my team?

Jesus put a great big exclamation point on this leadership by saying this...

"Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends."  John 15:13

If you want to lead people, then follow Jesus' example... 

Lay down your pride and love the people God has placed on your team.

Forget about your title and focus on loving people.

Focus on serving out of love instead of being served out of greed. 

Focus on making others better instead of promoting yourself.

Leading through fear, manipulation, money and title, will only take you so far.  If you want people to go the distance with you, then start loving them. 

Your turn.  What are your thoughts about leading with love?  How do you show your team you love them?  What have you learned about leading people?   Share your insight in the comment section below.

If you're leading in children's ministry, you've quickly discovered that it's critical to have volunteers.  And whether you've inherited a group of volunteers or you're in the midst of building a group of volunteers, it's important to realize the difference between a group of volunteers and a volunteer team.

A group of volunteers may not be working in unison.  A volunteer team has an aligned vision.

A group of volunteers may have different values.  A volunteer team operates from a set of common core values.

A group of volunteers may not trust each other.  A volunteer team has each other's backs.

A group of volunteers does ministry together.  A volunteer team does ministry and life together.

A group of volunteers cares about themselves.  A volunteer team cares about each other.

A group of volunteers may have scattered conversations.  A volunteer team has clear communication.

A group of volunteers has conflict.  A volunteer team has conflict, but works through it together.

A group of volunteers may have a lack of responsibility.  A volunteer team holds each other accountable.

A group of volunteers may experience competition.  A volunteer team experiences collaboration.

So how can you turn a group of volunteers into a volunteer team?  Here are 6 steps you can take to see it happen.

Step 1 - Shift the language.  Be intentional about using team language.  Use "we" instead of "them."  Use "us" instead of "they."  Use "our" instead of "their."  You will be surprised how this simple shift will help you begin building a team spirit.  

Step 2 - Rally everyone behind a common vision.  A group of volunteers will naturally default to competing visions.  The nursery will have a vision.  The preschool will have a vision.  The greeters will have a vision.  The elementary will have a vision.  The pre-teen area will have a vision.  While it's good for groups of volunteers to "own" their part of the ministry, it is just as important that they see how it fits into the larger context of the ministry and have one vision they are aligned with.  It's up to you, as the leader, to articulate the vision and rally everyone to it.

Step 3 - Pray together.  Each weekend, gather everyone together for prayer before they start serving.  As you share prayer requests and spend time praying for each other and for the ministry, you will see it bring transformation.

Step 4 - Play together.  Take volunteers on some fun activities together outside of their serving time.  You will find this bonds them together and deepens their relationships.   

Step 5 - Do team building activities on a regular basis.  When you do volunteer training, include a team building activity.  I have several very effective ones in my book "The Formula for Building Great Volunteer Teams" which is available at this link. 

Step 6 - Celebrate together.  Celebrating the wins together will bond your volunteers as a team.  When one part of your volunteer team has a win, have everyone celebrate together.  This will help them see that a win for one is a win for all.

If you can help your volunteers see that what they are part of is bigger than the part they play, they will move from being a group to being a team.  And there is no limit to what a team of volunteers can accomplish together!  Michael Jordan articulated it well when he said, "great players win games...great teams win championships."

Time is one of your most precious commodities and there is never a shortage of things clamoring for it.

How you choose to spend your time will determine your effectiveness.  As I have watched and learned from successful children's ministry leaders, I have found that they focus their time on four key areas.

Personal Growth
Ministry is an outward expression of the inward workings of God in your life.

Effective leaders know that who they are is more important than what they do.  They know if they will be who they are supposed to be it will enable them to do what they are supposed to do. 

Effective children's ministry leaders spend time working on their...

• relationship with God
• spiritual growth
• leadership
• people skills
• blind spots
• strengths

The discipline of spending time working on yourself is not always easy.  If you're like me, it's easier to drive a car than it is to wait patiently by the gas pump while it's filling up.  I don't have time to sit and wait for the car to fill up...I've got places to go...things to do.  But remember, you can only skip the gas pump for so long before you run out of gas and come to a screeching halt.

The same applies to personal growth.  You can skip it and be effective...but it will be very short-lived.  Neglect filling up personally and your ministry will come to a screeching halt.

You may be reading this right now and you've been so busy working on the ministry that you haven't been working on yourself.  You know you're running on fumes.  Is it time to move personal growth back to where it should be on your time list?

Don't let the lid on the ministry be you.

Family
Effective children's ministry leaders know that their first ministry is their family.  They make sure they invest first in their own marriage before they try to help other people's marriages.  They make sure they invest first in their own kids before they try to help other people's kids.

The health of your family is more important than the health of your ministry.  Healthy ministry flows out of a healthy family.  

Take a look at your time allocations.  What does it reflect?  Where you spend your time tells what your priorities are.  Is your family a priority?

Team Building
Effective children's ministry leaders know that success in ministry is not in what you can do but it's in what you can empower others to do.  They spend more time equipping others to do ministry than they spend doing the ministry themselves.

Look at their week and you will see a big chunk allocated to enlisting, equipping, encouraging and empowering leaders.  Look at their budget and it will reflect the same.

Time spent building leaders is never time wasted.

Ministry improvement
The most effective children's ministry leaders spend lots of time perfecting the ministry through evaluation, feedback, adjustments and changes.  They spend time making things better rather than just letting it coast.

They are constantly asking questions like...

• What's working?
• What's not working?
• What needs changed?
• What do we need to focus on?
• How can we improve?
• What are we missing?

They spend time looking through a microscope that's laser focused on the ministry and how to improve it.

How much time are you allocating for these 4 key areas?   Below is a tool you can download and use to evaluate.  Make every week...every day...every hour...every minute...every second count.  What you do matters...a lot...so be wise in how you invest your time.




If you'd like a copy of this infograph, feel free to email me at dalehudsoncm2@gmail.com.

Being an effective children's ministry leader involves much more than being able to teach kids.  If you really want to succeed, here's 10 skills to focus on.

1. Time management
Children's ministry is very time consuming.  Sunday always returns and you've got to be ready.  Add to that events, volunteer management, guest follow-up and a host of other responsibilities, and you've got a full plate.

And many children's ministry leaders serve in a part-time or even volunteer role.  They are juggling a full-time job while giving as much as they can to their children's ministry role.

With this comes the necessity of managing your time well.  If you struggle in this area or want to improve, there are lots of great time management books and online resources that can help you.

2. Delegation
Your success as a children's ministry leader hinges on your ability to delegate.  Narrow what you do to the few things that will have the most impact and give away the rest.  If you don't, you will become the lid that holds the ministry back.

3. Conflict management
There will be conflict.  You can count on it.  Volunteers will have disputes, parents will get upset and ministry staff will have disagreements.  Managing these conflicts takes skill.  Most people are not naturally good at it, but the good news is it can be learned.  Read all you can about managing conflict and hone this skill.  You'll need it.

Hearing refers to the sounds that you hear, whereas listening requires more than that: it requires focus.  Listening means paying attention not only to what is said, but to how it is said as well.  In other words, it means being aware of both verbal and non-verbal messages.

5. Inspiring and motivating others
A vital skill for a children's ministry leader is being able to inspire and motivate others.  This means conveying passion for a vision and direction.  It's leading from the front.  Your team will never be more inspired or motivated than you are as the leader.  

6.  Communication
This includes not only communicating with kids, but with volunteers and parents as well.  It is essential to be able to communicate vision and direction to those on your team.  Communication skills are one of the easiest things to improve.  Ask people to give you feedback on your communication.  Video yourself, watch the tape and look for ways you can improve.

7. Leading change
It takes skill to lead change.  You must know how to prepare people for it and then lead them through it.  The ability to manage change and make it happen smoothly is a skill you will want to master.

8. Connect with parents
If you really want to influence kids, then you've got to be able to influence parents.  Be "fun" when you're with the kids, but don't become known as a "big kid' who can't connect with or relate to parents.  You must earn their respect if you want to influence them.

9. Team building
If I had to pick one skill above all else in children's ministry, it would be team building.  The success of your ministry rises and falls on your ability to build a team.  Make this your number one priority.  Master this skill and you will shine.

10. Mentoring
In addition to motivating people, it's also important to be able to help others learn, grow and become more effective.  Once you learn this skill, you will begin to develop leaders of leaders instead of just doers.  This will allow you to multiply yourself. 

The floor is yours.  What other skills do children's ministry leaders need?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below. 

Recently, I was talking with a young children's ministry leader and he asked what skills he should work on improving.

I encouraged him to work on skills needed to lead adults.  You see, the ironic thing about children's ministry is that it's about working with adult volunteers just as much, if not more, than it is about working with kids.

You can be excellent with kids, but if you don't have the skills needed to lead adult volunteers, you will have a difficult time.

That being said, here are 5 skills you need to be effective in children's ministry.

1. Leadership.  Children's Ministry is about leadership...rallying people behind a common vision and making it become a reality.  Everything rises and falls on leadership.

2. Communication.  Communication is such an important part of children's ministry...written and verbal.  You can have a great vision, but you must be able to communicate it to see it materialize. 

3. Emotional Intelligence.  Emotional intelligence is “a type of social competence involving the ability to monitor one’s own and others’ emotions, to discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide one’s thinking and actions."  It is essential in building and nurturing relationships with parents, volunteers and staff.

4. Team Building.  The success of the ministry depends on the strength of the volunteer team you build.  Instead of being a skilled "doer," learn how to become a skilled "equipper."  

5. Problem solving.  Effective children's ministry leaders know how to fix things.  Instead of just bringing problems to the table, they bring problems and solutions.

Read everything you can about these skills.  Learn from other leaders who are good in these skills.  Track your progress in these skills.

The floor is yours...
What are some other skills every children's ministry leader needs?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

Twice a year, our children's ministry staff team goes on a retreat together.  We actually call them "advances" instead of "retreats."  Our goal is to move forward not backwards.

I believe it's important to get away as a team on a regular basis to pause, reflect, deepen your relationships, pray, plan and dream together.

One of our Advances takes place the first of the year.  This Advance focuses on team building, leadership development, spiritual growth, a review of the previous year and goal setting.  It's a great time to gear up for the new year.

The other Advance is held late summer and focuses on team building, leadership development, spiritual growth, campus reports, evaluating everything we do, brainstorming new ideas and planning out the next year's calendar.  It's a great time to gear up for the fall ministry season that's coming.

Here is the agenda for the one that we just went on to kick off 2015. 

• Worship 

• Devotions

• Break

• Ministry overview

• Lunch

• Review of last year

• Goals for 2015

• Leadership training - How to equip, encourage and empower your volunteer team

• Games and team building

• Prayer

We went to a camp our church owns for the retreat.

We love to laugh and have fun.

We stopped by to pray over one of our new campuses on the way home.

I'm always looking for ideas.  Would love to hear about any retreats, planning sessions, team building games or other things you do to grow together as a team.  Share them with us in the comment section below.