20 Things Children's Ministry Leaders Never Say

Summer is such a slow time for our ministry.

Our budget is too big.  Can we use some of it to purchase new robes for the choir?

3rd grade boys, I need you start moving and wiggling.  You're way too lethargic.

I am praying the adult service will go 30 minutes over time.  I want to spontaneously invent more activities for this room full of 4-year-olds.

What are goldfish crackers?

I want to hold 3 straight weeks of VBS.

No one has ever asked me if they can go to the bathroom...in the middle of the lesson.

I have never been asked to pray for a dog or cat.

I can't believe all you are standing here waiting for the church doors to open 2 hours before you're scheduled to serve.

I'm so sorry, the video for the adult service didn't get made because the media team was busy making a video for the children's ministry service.

I wish this sleepover for pre-teens would last longer.

I've never heard of a company called Oriental trading.  What do they do?

I love this copier.  It never jams.

Hurry up and wrap up the lesson.  The Pastor is waiting for us to get finished so he can dismiss the adult service.

The church board told me, "go ahead...we don't care how much it costs."

I love changing diapers.  It helps me master the art of gag reflex.

I want you to run, jump, and do a cannonball.  The congregation will love seeing the water splash over the front of the baptistry.

Parents, please be 45 minutes late picking up your children after the event.  I really enjoy waiting.

Don't ask for any more volunteers.  We've got way too many already.

The cashier at Wal-Mart never says to me, "12 boxes of fruit snacks...you're really hunger there, aren't you?" or "12 boxes...you having a party or something?"

Your turn.  Add some more and lighten our day.