RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY: Shrek

Have you ever been repulsed by someone who has bad breath?

You were kind, but inside you were echoing the donkey from Shrek's blunt proclamation. "You need a Tic Tac! Your breath stinks!!!

When you get contaminated by someone with bad breath, that's usually the main thing you remember about that person.

You definitely don't want your first-time guest families remembering bad breath. It may seem like a small thing, but it can ruin their first experience.

Here's some ways to make sure you and your team have fresh breath instead of fungus breath.

Make sure your breath is fresh. Avoid ordering onion rings at the drive thru on the way to church.

Keep mints with you at all times. Pop one in before every service or when you will have close contact with people.

Provide mints for your team...especially for your greeters...and let them know they're available.

If someone repeatedly has bad breath, have a conversation with them...in private of course...and at a distance of 3 feet away. Be kind and remember...you are doing them a favor. They probably just don't know. No one has had the courage to tell them.

Want to know if you have bad breath? Here's 5 quick tests that will tell you. And no...this is not an advertisement for "Testamints."

Today's kids have cultural characteristics that influence the way they think, learn, and connect with others. Here's some important factors to keep in mind as you seek to effectively minister to kids.

They have never needed a set of bound encyclopedias.They prefer to watch television everywhere except on a television.
They don’t take pictures on “film."
They have always lived in cyberspace, addicted to a new generation of “electronic narcotics.”
The Green Bay Packers have always celebrated with the Lambeau Leap.
The Metropolitan Opera House in New York has always translated operas on seatback screens.
They have always enjoyed school and summer camp memories with a digital yearbook.
They know many established film stars by their voices on computer-animated blockbusters.
Two-thirds of the independent bookstores in the United States have closed for good during their lifetime.
Astronauts have always spent well over a year in a single space flight.
They “swipe” cards, not merchandise.
As they grow up on websites and cell phones, adult experts are constantly fretting about their alleged deficits of empathy and concentration.
Their school’s “blackboards” have always been getting smarter.
American tax forms have always been available in Spanish.
Amazon has never been just a river in South America.
Refer to LBJ, and they might assume you're talking about LeBron James.
Video games have always had ratings.
Music has always been available via free downloads.
Grown-ups have always been arguing about health care policy.
Sears has never sold anything out of a Big Book that could also serve as a doorstop.
Electric cars have always been humming in relative silence on the road.
While they’ve been playing outside, their parents have always worried about nasty new viruses borne by birds and mosquitoes.
Charter schools have always been an alternative.
New kids have always been known as NKOTB.
Nurses have always been in short supply.
Colorful lapel ribbons have always been worn to indicate support for a cause.
They never twisted the coiled handset wire aimlessly around their wrists while chatting on the phone.
Computers have never lacked a CD-ROM disk drive.
“Viewer Discretion” has always been an available warning on TV shows.
There have always been HIV positive athletes in the Olympics.
The dominance of television news by the three networks no longer exists..
The Post Office has always been going broke.
The Green Giant has always been Shrek, not a big guy picking vegetables.
They have never used a card catalog to find a book.
Babies have always had a Social Security Number.
Cable television systems have always offered telephone service and vice versa.
There has always been a Cartoon Network.
They have always been able to read books on an electronic screen.
They have always watched wars, coups, and police arrests unfold on television in real time.
There have always been flat screen televisions.
Everyone has always known what the evening news was before the Evening News came on.
Most communities have always had a mega-church.
There has always been blue Jell-O.
GPS satellite navigation systems have always been available.
Coke and Pepsi have always used recycled plastic bottles.
Shampoo and conditioner have always been available in the same bottle.
Electronic filing of tax returns has always been an option.
Schools have always been concerned about multiculturalism.
They have grown up with bottled water.
High definition television has always been available.
MTV has never featured music videos.
They have never heard anyone actually "ring it up" on a cash register.
They are wireless, yet always connected.
Text messaging is their email.
Madden has always been a game, not a Superbowl-winning coach.
Carbon copies are oddities found in their grandparents' attics.
Reality shows have always been on television.
They have rarely mailed anything using a stamp.
They never had the chance to eat bad airline food.
They have virtual pets to feed, water, and play games with, lest they die.
They don't remember when "cut and paste" involved scissors.
Pixar has always existed.
Digital cameras have always existed.
Miss Piggy and Kermit have always dwelt in Disneyland.
Photographs have always been processed in an hour or less
Network television has always struggled to keep up with cable.
"Ctrl + Alt + Del" is as basic as "ABC."