RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

A new year.  A new opportunity to grow as a leader.  One key way to grow this year is through reading.  12 months from now you can be a better leader because of the books you read.

Here are 10 books that I recommend for the coming year.

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Podcasts are a great communication tool to share ideas, insights and teachings. 

Podcasts for kids are growing in popularity and there are now many podcasts that are geared for children. 

Here are the top 25 podcasts currently available for kids. You can pick up some great ideas by checking these out.  The creators have found ways to engage kids with a  mixture of monologue and dialogue.

I have included the links for these podcasts as well.  This is not an endorsement of these podcasts, but simply a way to get a taste for what kids are listening to.

But Why: A Podcast for Curious Kids

Smash, Boom, Best

The Two Princes

This American Life

Ear Snacks

KiDNuZ

The Past & the Curious

Book Club for Kids

Story Time

Be Calm on Ahway Island

What If World

Stories Podcast

The Alien Adventures of Finn Caspian

Flyest Fables 

Eleanor Amplified

The Unexplainable Disappearance of Mars Patel

Welcome to Night Vale

Wow in the World

Brains On

Tumble

Stuff You Should Know

Noodle Loaf

Saturday Morning Cereal Bowl

Spare the Rock, Spoil the Child

All Songs Considered

These popular podcasts will give you insight into what today's kids enjoy listening to.  While there are many podcasts about children's ministry leadership, I am not aware of very many that are aimed for kids and families.  If you have a podcast that targets kids and families, would love to hear about it. You can leave info. in the comment section below.

Merry Christmas to my friends in children's ministry.  I thank God for you and for your incredible heart for the next generation.

And for running the race so faithfully while turning around to pass the faith baton to the kids God has brought into your influence.

I pray that all the joy, love, wisdom and care you pour out each week to children and parents, will be returned to you a hundred fold this Christmas.

This Christmas, I want you to know that you matter.  What you do matters.  More than you'll ever know.

Your Fan,

Dale

Remember when you first started serving in children's ministry?  You were hungry to learn and grow.  Whether it was last year or 20 years ago, you read books, attended conferences, subscribed to children's ministry magazines and reached out to other children's ministry leaders, so you could pick their brains.

You were very aware that you had a lot to learn, weren't you?  And that awareness kept you pursuing knowledge and experience. 

Fast forward to now...today.  Do you still have that same hunger to grow and become a better children's ministry leader?   Are you still aware that you have a lot to learn?  Are you still reaching out to other leaders and learning from them?  Are you still reading, listening and attending opps to grow? 

Hopefully the answer is "yes."  Why?  Because the best leaders are lifelong learners.  Instead of being totally focused on everything they do know, they are aware of what they don't know or have not discovered yet. 

Do you have your personal leadership in neutral?  Coasting along.  Content with your current leadership abilities?

I was meditating on this verse this morning.

^"Like newborn babies, you must crave pure spiritual milk so that you will grow into a full experience of salvation. Cry out for this nourishment." 1 Peter 2:2

Which lead me to ask myself these questions. 

Do I still crave spiritual growth?

Do I realize I still have a lot to learn?

As a baby cries out to be fed, do I cry out to God to fill me with His wisdom and anointing? 

When we reach the point where we think we know it all, we become close-minded and disregard new ideas and insights.  And when that happens, our personal growth stalls. 

The fact that you are reading this, says you still want to grow.  To be honest, one of the reasons I am typing this right now, is because it is forcing me to grow and be stretched.  If you are going to grow and be a lifetime learner, then you must constantly be looking for opportunities to grow and become a better leader. 

When was the last time you read a book that helped you grow as a leader?

When was the last time you attended a conference?

When was the last time you called another leader and asked them questions?

When was the last time you listened to a podcast for the purpose of getting better? 

When was the last time you changed your mind about something, because you became aware of a different approach?

When was the last time you listened and learned from a leader who has less experience than you?

Have you shifted into neutral?  If so, your momentum as a leader will soon slow down to a crawl and eventually stop moving forward all together.

I want to challenge you to shift back into drive.  God still has much for you to learn.  Your best days of ministry are ahead if you are willing to focus on improving as a leader.

The best leaders are lifelong learners.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed with everything you have on your plate?  Feel like there's just not enough hours in a day to accomplish everything at home and church?

It's a tension that you must learn to manage if you want to go the distance in ministry.

In my coaching program, I ask everyone that is participating this question.

Can you go the distance with your current pace?  

Often, the answer is "no."

What about you?  Can you sustain your current pace long-term?  Let's go a little deeper,  Can you sustain your current pace and be happy?  And be a good parent?  And be a good spouse? 

Being fully present when you're at work and fully present when you're at home is not an easy task.  But it can be done with the right strategy and commitment.  Let's talk about 7 keys you can use to keep home and ministry balanced.

Key #1 - Work when you are at work and then get home.  Sometimes when someone says they are always at the church working, they may be at the church, but they may not be working as much as they think they are.  Take out an extended lunch, time on social media, time just chit-chatting with co-workers and time just goofing off, and those "long hours working" at church are reduced.

If you want more time to spend at home and with your family, then get your work done and go home.  This doesn't mean you can't have fun or any relax time at work, but it does mean you are focused and not wasting time. 

Key #2 - Set time for your family on your calendar just like you would for a ministry appointment.  You know what happens.  You have a date night planned with your spouse.  But an afternoon phone call comes in that a couple is about to divorce and want to come talk with you that evening. 

What should you do?  Drop the dinner with our spouse and meet with them?  Not if you already have an appointment that evening with your spouse.  Just kindly let them know you already have a meeting that night, but you'll be glad to meet with them the next day.

And don't feel "guilty" about it.  How are you going to help other peoples' marriage if you don't have a strong marriage yourself?  How will you teach a parenting class if you don't spend time investing in your own child?

Key #3 - Know the season of life you are in.  Seasons of life can heavily influence how you do ministry.  If your kids are in preschool or elementary, you will need to be home more in the evenings and block out time for them.  When you become an empty-nester, you will have more time available to do things you want to do.  But right now focus on your children.  They will be grown and gone before you know it.  You only get one chance to raise them. 

"Don't blow it by making building the church more important than building your children."

Key #4 - Learn to say "no."  If you study the ministry of Jesus, you will see that He didn't heal everyone.  There were times He said "no" and pulled away to spend time in prayer and resting.

Often, people in ministry are people pleasers.  We are wired to be available to serve people whenever they need us.

But if you don't stay balanced,  you can end up losing your own family.  And then you'll lose your credibility to minister to others.

Sometimes you have to say "no" to something that is good, so you can make something else great.  If you're going to go the distance, then learn to say that powerful little word - no. 

Key #5 - Take your day off and use your vacation time.  Many leaders fall into the trap of not taking their day off.  They tell themselves they are too busy.  Sunday won't happen if they take a day off.  And the longer they stay in that mode, the harder it is to be balanced. 

Here's a little tip that I wish I'd have thought about when my kids were younger.  Rather than spending major dollars on buying your kids "stuff" at Christmas and on their birthday, cut back on what you spend on "stuff" and instead use the money to make some memories with them.  Go on a road trip.  Take them to an amusement park.  Take them on a camping trip.  Go snow skiing together.  Here's the reasoning behind it.

Kids will quickly grow tired of the "stuff" you buy them.  But they will never forget the trips you took with them.  They will never forget the money you spent making memories with them.  They will always remember the time you camped out or sang Christmas carols by a campfire or went bowling as a family.

"Spend more time and money making memories with your kids, than you do filling their toy box up."

Key #6 - Set a quitting time and obey the clock.  Have you ever looked at the clock at work and it says you should go home.  But you tell yourself you've just got to finish up what you're working on.  You just need 20 minutes to wrap it up.  20 minutes later you look up and tell yourself it will only take 10 more minutes.  It keeps going and when you finally arrive home, dinner is cold and your spouse has already put the kids to bed.

This happens quite often and eventually becomes a pattern for you.  Your spouse tries to get you to come home and spend time with the kids.  You listen and know he or she is right, but you just can't seem to get out of the grip of "what I have to accomplish."

If that's the case, then it's time to set a quitting time that will get you home in time for dinner and keep you there engaged with your family.  Let 5 o'clock be your boss and obey him and go home.  What you are working on, will be there tomorrow.

Of course, there will occasionally be things pop up that you can't control or push to tomorrow.  But that should be the exception and not the norm.

Key #7 - Maximize your time by managing your time.  What if you started managing your time more closely? Identifying what you are doing that shouldn't be warranting your time?  Maximizing your time by organizing and prioritizing your tasks?  You will be surprised how much time you can get back. 

I share several time management tools in my coaching program that can help you be more productive and more balanced at the same time.  You can get more information at this link.

I know by experience that when you become unbalanced, it will catch up to you and you'll look back and regret not having balance.  I had to learn the hard way that balance is a non-negotiable, if you want to go the distance and finish strong. Not being balanced can take you down for the count.  It took me down and I almost didn't make it back.  You can read about what happened at this link. 

As a ministry leader, you have to keep a lot of plates spinning, don't you?  The ministry plate...the family plate...the chores plate...the hobbies plate...counseling plate...preparing lessons plate...event plate...friends plate...there is no shortage of plates we have to keep spinning.

But there will be times when you simply can't keep all those plates spinning.  When that happens and you have to decide which plate to drop...do one thing...make sure you don't drop the family plate.

Your turn.  How do you keep your ministry responsibilities and family balanced?  Share your thoughts with us the comments below.

Recently, I was in Canada sharing a talk based on the parable of the sower.

Out of the 4 seeds that were planted, only 1 produced long-term fruit.

At first glance, that could be discouraging.  It appears that the majority of the sower's time, energy, labor and effort was fruitless.

Do you ever feel that way?  That your impact is far less than you had prayed and hoped for?  That the kids aren't really grasping and putting into practice what you're teaching them?  That the take home paper you spent so much time creating for parents, just ends up in the trash can, having never been used?  That all the time and effort you put into pulling off that big event, didn't really produce any lasting fruit?

You're not alone.  We've all felt that way at times.  Or maybe even all the time.

Back to the talk in Canada.  After the talk, a precious lady, who had been serving in children's ministry for many years, shared something with me about the sower that was profound.  It has to do with the impact he ended up having.

If you continue reading the parable, you will see the end result of the sower's efforts yielded a fruit of at least 30.  Compare that to the 3 seeds that he planted that did not bear fruit.  He couldn't see it at the time, but his impact ended up being at least 10 times more than the 3 seeds that didn't bear fruit.  That was the minimum result.  In some cases, it produced 20 times and even 30 times more fruit than the seed that wasn't fruitful.

Here's the deal.

Your impact is much more than you can see right now.  That I can promise you.

Be encouraged.  Your lesson will bring at least 10 times more fruit than you can see right now.

Don't quit.  Your role as a small group leader will bring at least 10 times more fruit in the lives of the kids in your group.

Smile.  The time you're spending loving, holding and ministering to babies in the nursery is going to yield at least 10 times more fruit than you are expecting.

Stay faithful.  The time you're spending helping preschoolers memorize a Bible verse is going to produce 10 times more fruit in the years to come.

When we focus on the seeds that aren't bearing fruit, we get discouraged.  When we focus on the seeds that wilt under the heat of the sun, we lose sight of the ones that are healthy.  When we focus on the seeds that the birds snatch away, we overlook the ones that are flourishing.  When we focus on the seeds that are getting choked out by the thorns, we begin to think the effort is not worth it.

Someone is reading this right now who is about to quit.  Your focus on the seeds that aren't bearing fruit, has crushed your spirit.

Be encouraged today.  God is at work.  Your impact is going to far outweigh your effort when all is said and done.

I have a friend who lives in China.  He equips and trains over 83,000 children's ministry leaders in the underground churches across China.  They in turn, minister to and share the Gospel with millions of children there.

I asked my friend how he came to faith in Christ.  I was curious how he become a follower of Jesus having grown up in an atheistic, communist culture.  He shared with me that decades ago, a missionary from Houston, Texas,  came to China and shared the Gospel with his great, great grandfather.  From that one seed, my friend is now the 4th generation of believers in his family.

Think about it.  Over 83,000 children's ministry volunteers being trained and millions of kids hearing the Gospel...and it all started with one Gospel seed that was planted years ago.

I'm sure that missionary shared the Gospel with many people over the course of his ministry.  And he probably heard more "no's" than he did "yes's" during those years.  I'm sure there were times when he wondered if he had made any impact at all.

But his impact would end up being much more than he could see at the time.  And so will yours.  In fact, you won't realize the magnitude of your impact, until you are standing on the other side of eternity.  

I leave you with this promise.

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.  Galatians 6:9

Christmas is just around the corner.  As you're making your shopping list, thought you might like some ideas for the children's ministry director in your life.

(If you're a children's ministry director reading this, I'm sure you'll like this list.  Have fun and hope this brings a smile to your face after a long weekend of serving.)

Here's 20 funny Christmas ideas for your children's ministry director.

A hypnosis book so he/she can learn how to hypnotize people into serving in the 3-year-olds room.

A gift certificate to Chuck E. Cheese's.

A bounce house with a leak in it.

A robot that can fill in for no show volunteers.

A sound system that actually works.

Self-cleaning toys for the nursery.

A drone that delivers crying babies to their parents in the adult service.

A puppet that automatically syncs up it's mouth with the words the user is saying.

Easter eggs that hid themselves.

Any clothing except a t-shirt with a ministry logo on it.

A mafia boss to persuade volunteers to come to training.

A timer that shuts down all the power in the auditorium when the pastor goes long with his sermon.

Stock in Oriental trading.

Tweak-less curriculum.

Quiet seat prize candy that has a seal that won't open until a child arrives at home.

Name tags that are impossible for parents to lose.

A collection of hats since he/she wears so many.

A monogrammed baptism towel.

A personal chef for kid's camp to spare him/her from having to eat the camp food.

A case of Red Bull energy drinks for weekend services.

Add to the fun.  What would you add to this gift list?  Share your funny ideas with everyone in the comment section below.

Normally when you think of people cutting themselves, you think of older teens.  But studies show that it is starting at younger and younger ages.

The studies reveal that cutting among kids ages 10 to 14, especially girls, is dramatically on the rise.

Since 2009, the rate of girls ages 10 to 14 arriving in emergency rooms with self-inflicted injuries has increased by nearly 19% per year.  This surpasses all other ages groups.

Look at the stats regarding annual E.R. visits for self-harm by age...

• ages 10 to 14 - girls is 18.8% increase and boys is 1% increase

• ages 15 to 19 - girls is 7.2% increase and boys is .5% increase

• ages 20 to 24 - girls is 2% increase and boys is .1% increase

What is causing this dramatic increase among younger children?

Mental health experts have suggested things such as...

The sharp increase in smartphone use.  More and more kids are getting smartphones at younger ages which puts them in constant touch with others through social media and apps.  This increases the risk of bullying, abuse, self-esteem issues, etc.  

Increasing academic demands.  Like ever before, kids face the pressure to exceed in school and when they fall short, it can lead to depression, cutting, etc.

Economic stress in families.  Many families faced economic stress as we went through the recession.  Kids can pick up on the stress their parents are feeling and start worrying and acting out as well.

Most of the time, kids engage in cutting as a way of coping with the strong emotions that go along with situations like above.  While cutting is usually not an actual attempt at suicide, it can be very dangerous and can cause severe scarring or disfigurement. 

As children's ministry leaders, we must be aware of the pressures the pre-teens in our ministries are dealing with.  While it is not our job to treat kids professionally (unless you are a doctor or licensed therapist working with the child and his/her parents), it is our role to be involved in kids' lives, know when they are struggling and offer spiritual support.

Every pre-teen in our ministries must be connected to a caring volunteer.  A volunteer who greets them with a smile each week.  A volunteer who knows what is going on in their life.  A volunteer that engages them in meaningful conversation and asks how their week went, what challenges they faced, etc.  A volunteer who they know really cares about them. 

More than ever before, it is critical that kids move out of a row of chairs and into a circle of friends at church.  A circle that is led by an adult that they know cares about them, has their back and walks with them through the ups and downs of growing up in a broken world.

Every pre-teen must have the opportunity to share prayer requests and be prayed for each week.  Kids must have a safe place where they can open up and share their struggles, worries, fears and challenges.  This may even mean letting kids know they can write down a prayer request that they don't fell comfortable sharing out loud. 

We must partner with the parents of the pre-teens in our ministries.  Parenting kids in today's culture is no easy task.  Especially if your child is cutting.  Pray for parents.  Pray with parents.  Encourage parents to find professional help for their child when needed.  Ask how you can best minister to and encourage their child.

If you discover a child is cutting and the parents are not aware of it, you should notify the parents.  Cutting is not something you can keep confidential between you and the child, even if he or she asks you not to tell anyone.  Explain to the child the responsibility you have to help him or her get the help they need.

Kids are being forced to grow up faster than ever because of the world they live in.  They face pressures and struggles that we never faced as children. 

The good news is this.  We can point kids to the hope and peace that can be found in Christ.  He can bear their sorrows and carry their grief.  He can help them discover their true value and worth.

If they can learn these things as children, they can grow up as overcomers rather than stressed out, fragile souls.  They can be marked by the grace, power and love of Jesus rather than by the scars of self-doubt, deception, turmoil, frustration and fear.

Dear Children's Ministry Leader, on this Thanksgiving Day, I am thankful for you.

Thank you for taking care of the 1000 little details during the week that make weekends, programs and events run smoothly.  Most people don't know how hard you work.  But you and I know that weekend services, events and programs don't happen magically.  It takes a lot of work.  Thank you for going the second mile week in and week out to make it happen.

Thank you for looking beyond yourself and focusing on the next generation.  I know children's ministry doesn't always get the attention, recognition, budget and promotion that other ministries do.  But thank you for not letting that stop you from serving the least of these.  You and I know that the least of these will one day do the most for the kingdom.  And you are preparing them for that day.  You are investing in leaders who will lead strong in God's kingdom long after you are gone.

Thank you for loving.  Loving children.  Loving parents.  Loving grandparents.  Loving volunteers.  Loving students.  Your heart is synced with the heart of Jesus.

Thank you for not giving up.  For continuing when you aren't appreciated.  For continuing when you are misunderstood.  For continuing when you make mistakes.  For continuing when the pay is little to none.  For continuing when you are discouraged.  For continuing when the needs are great, but the budget is small.  For continuing when you are short on help.  For continuing when someone you've poured yourself into walks away.  For continuing when your motives are questioned.  For continuing when the kids don't want to listen and seem to do the opposite of what you've taught them.  For continuing when people resist the change you know is so desperately needed.  Thank you for fighting on...for keeping your faith...for staying on course.

Thank you for loving the kid that everyone else is down on.  Thank you for looking beyond what he appears to be and seeing what he can be.  Thank you for believing in him when no one else does.  Thank you for not turning your back on him when he disrupts your lessons and acts out the turmoil he is experiencing outside of church.  Thank you for looking beyond the symptoms and doing everything you can to help him overcome the cause of his actions.

Thank you for embracing the messiness of ministry.  You didn't know it would be this messy when you started.  But now you know...because you're right in the middle of it.  Thank you for embracing families who are dysfunctional.  Thank you for walking toward messy conversations rather than avoiding them.  Thank you for being the friend of sinners.  Thank you for reaching out to kids and families that no one else wants to embrace because of the time and attention that will be required to help them out of the mess they have gotten themselves into.  Thank you joining Jesus in the mess.

Thank you for being a good shepherd.  Thank you for the prayers you've prayed for volunteers who are going through a difficult time.  Thank you for helping hold up a mother and father who have lost a child.  Thank you for the hospital visits...for the minor ones like "tonsils out" to the major ones like someone who is battling cancer.  Thank you for gathering some people with you to help a single mom who needed help moving.   When you got into children's ministry, you didn't realize that you would become a shepherd to the kids, parents and volunteers.  But now you are.  Thanks for shepherding well.

Thank you for who you are.  A servant.  A friend.  A counselor.  A prayer warrior.  A protector of children.  An encourager.   A dreamer.  A planner.  An organizer.  An innovator.  A mentor.  A role model.  A vision caster.  A communicator.  A motivator.  You are all this and more.

I thank God for you my friend.  Your best days of ministry are ahead.  You are anointed and appointed by God for such a time as this.  You are going to be amazed by what God is going to do in you and through you over the next few years.

God keeps great records and great is your reward in heaven.  One day you will see the totality of what God has done through your life and it will be worth everything you have given of yourself to reach and disciple kids and families.

Have a great Thanksgiving!  You are loved!  I thank God for you!

Something interesting happened recently.  Warner Bros. / Time Warner released a new Lego movie called The Lego Ninjago Movie.  It was the third Lego movie released, but there was a problem.  It didn't do as well as projected.  It opened with $21.245 million in sales.  This is a huge drop compared to the previous Lego movies which opened with $69 million and $55 million in sales.

I'm sure producers are working through why this happened.  Was it because of the previews and reviews?  Plenty of online content already available for families?  Competing movies?  Maybe the movie just wasn't that good?

Or could it be that kids and families are growing tired of Lego movies?  Perhaps it just doesn't hold the appeal that the first movie did?  

One thing I've discovered over the years is this.  It's important to know when kids and families are getting tired of what you are doing.  If you miss the cues and plow ahead, oblivious to the fact they are done with what you're still doing, you risk losing them.

What are some signs you should watch for?

When kids and families grow tired of what you are doing, they begin voting with their feet.  This is the easiest way to know.  Kids and families start attending less frequently or stop coming at all.  Attendance begins to decline.  Or in the scenario mentioned above, they don't show up at the movie theater and ticket sales decline.

When kids grow tired of what you are doing, they begin looking around.  When kids are engaged, they look at what is engaging them.  When you lose their attention, they begin looking around.  They may also begin talking among themselves and start trying to entertain themselves.

When kids grow tired of what you are doing, you start hearing "this is boring."  When a kid says something is "boring," it means they are tired of it. 

When kids and families grow tired of what you are doing, they loose their enthusiasm.  There's no excitement, energy or passion.  Things seem flat and dull.  They just start going through the motions.

How can you avoid kids and families getting tired of what you are doing?

Constantly evaluate.  Is what we are doing working?  What needs to be adjusted?  Are the kids still engaged with this?  How can we improve?  Is there anything we need to stop doing?  Here's how I did this every week.

Watch the kids.  Are they engaging during the service?  Are they singing during worship?  What is their countenance when they come and leave?  Check out this post about how the most engaging children's television show ever made did this.

Monitor the ministry pulse.  Keep track of attendance.  Watch for trends and patterns.  Track key spiritual growth steps.  Keep a dashboard of things you consider key elements and indicators in your ministry.

Ask them.  Another easy way to tell if kids and families are tired of what you are doing is to ask them.  One of the best ways to do this is through focus groups.  You can read more about this in this post about kids' focus groups and this post about parent focus groups. You can also get feedback through an online survey.  

Don't make teaching series last too long.  I have found through experience that after 4-5 weeks, kids get tired of a teaching series.  I see teaching series that last 7-8 weeks and believe it is a miss.  You can sense after 4 weeks that kids are ready to move to something new.  I designed all of our teaching series to last a month and it kept the kids engaged.  Many of the teaching series are available now as instant downloads at this link. 

Be willing to change.  Once you see that kids and families are growing tired of something, you need to be willing to change what's not working.

I remember years ago, I started a mid-week program in a ministry I was leading.  For the first few years, there was a lot of excitement.  People voted with their feet and over 400 kids were attending on Wednesday nights.  But gradually, it began to lose momentum.  As people voted with their feet in the other direction, attendance began to wain.  I knew it was time to make a change and do something new and different.

There were a few people who wanted to hang onto the dying program and they let me know.  When this happens, the temptation is to continue doing for the few, what the majority is tired of. 

Don't make the mistake of continuing to do something that the majority of the kids and families are tired of just because a few vocal families want to hang onto it. 

Why?  Because when you hang onto something that needs to be released, it keeps you from experiencing the new thing God has ready for the ministry.  It also ties up resources that could be used more effectively.

Honor yesterday's ministry,  but don't let it rob you of tomorrow's blessings.

All across the country, you can find churches that are in the process of dying or have died and now sit empty.  How did it happen?  Somewhere back there, kids and families got tired of what the church was doing.  But church leadership either ignored the signs or refused to change.

Don't be that ministry.  Know the signs and make changes when needed.

Your turn.  The floor is yours.  What are some other signs kids and families are tired of what you are doing?  What are some other steps you should take to keep ministry fresh and exciting?  

Share your thoughts, ideas and insight with us in the comment section below.

Gen Z.  They are today's children...the youngest of six generations that are currently alive.

• GI Generation (born 1901-1926)
• Silent Generation (born 1927-1945)
• Baby Boomers (born 1946-1964)
• Generation X (born 1965-1980)
• Millennial / Gen Y Generation (born 1981-2000)
• Gen Z (born 2001+)

Each of these generations as a whole have been moving farther away from the truth.  You can see this in the following percentage of people in the generations who are not affiliated with any religion.

• Silent Generation - 11% unaffiliated
• Baby Boomers - 17% unaffiliated
• Gen X - 23% unaffiliated
• Older Millennials - 34% unaffiliated
• Younger Millennials - 36% unaffiliated

We also know that even among those attending church, they are attending less frequently.  "Regular attenders" used to mean 3 to 4 times a month.  Now it means 1-2 times a month.  Gen Z kids are attending church less frequently than any previous generation because their parents are taking them much less frequently.

This slide has been fueled for the most part by Post-Modernism.  Over the generations, Post-Modernism has penetrated our society/culture and now owns it.  Post-Modernism says...

• There are no moral absolutes.
• There are many paths to God (pluralism).
• Trust is relative.
• Each person must decide for themselves what is right and wrong. 

Being born into a culture that is saturated by Post-Modernism is distorting Gen Z's view of God.  They aren't being taught Who God is and how we can have a relationship with Him.  A recent video that was very popular on YouTube shows an example of this.  I must warn you, there are parts of the video that I believe are highly inappropriate for a child to be discussing, but it again shows where our society is.  Watch the video and then I'll pick back up with our discussion.



You can see Post-Modernism oozing out of their statements about God...

• I am an atheist.
• God is a guy up in the clouds, like on the Simpsons.
• God is a frog. 
• Jesus is the mommy.  He is a Hexagon.
• We're all part of the same family.
• I imagined all different religions having their own god portrayed and I didn't want to just do one, so I did all of them.

It is easy to become disheartened when seeing this.  But don't.  The good news is we have an unprecedented opportunity to reach kids and families with the Gospel.  The Gospel is just as powerful as it ever was.  When we share the truth about God and His Son, Jesus, with kids and families, many of them will respond.  The church, like never before, must be about spreading the Gospel.

The church must also be intentional about teaching kids solid, Bible doctrine.  "What" we teach is more important than ever before.  I'm not saying we should make church a boring experience.  "How" we teach must be engaging, fun and learner-based.  But just teaching kids cute values and surface level lessons will not prepare them to spiritually survive the Post-Modern culture in which they are entrenched from birth.

Children's ministry leader, you are on the front lines in this.  You matter.  What you do matters.  Walk in God's power and let's reach Gen Z.

Last week, I came across this passage of Scripture during my Bible reading time.  It contains a list of 5 key traits that I believe should characterize ministry leaders.  Let's take a look at the verse, the traits it mentions and how it applies to us in ministry.

"Finally, all of you, have unity of spirit, sympathy, love for one another, a tender heart, and a humble mind." 
(1 Peter 3:8)

Trait #1 - Unity of Spirit.  Unity is a key trait of a successful ministry leader.  And unity doesn't happen by accident.  You have to pursue it.  You have to fight for it.  You have to be intentional about making it a top priority.

When you are committed to unity, it means you lay aside your personal agenda for the pursuit of the vision of the ministry as a whole.  I often say that your job is not to create your own vision for the ministry area you lead.  Your job is to take the vision of the senior pastor and translate it into the ministry area you lead. 

Here are some other key components of pursing unity in your ministry...

• Direct communication.  When issues or conflict arise, go directly to the person rather than talking to other people. 

• Continually rally the people who serve in your ministry area to the big picture vision of the ministry as a whole and show them how they are contributing to that vision.

• Actively look for ways to build bridges to and partner with other ministries in your church.

Trait #2 - Sympathy.  Sympathy is defined as "feelings of pity and sorrow for someone else's misfortune.  Sympathy is compassion...caring...empathy.  I think a simple way to say it is "your hurt in my heart."

As ministry leaders, we must truly care about people.  We must weep with those who weep.  Cry with those who cry.  Hug those who need a hug.  Pray with those who need prayer.  Listen to those who need someone to talk to.

Here are some practical ways you can show sympathy as a ministry leader...

• Move beyond just asking "How are you doing?" and find out how they are "really" doing.  Most people won't tell you unless you ask. 

• When someone is sharing with you, really listen to them.  Listen without thinking about what you are going to say next.  Listen to understand.  

• Be there for those you lead.  Sometimes you won't know what to say.  That's okay.  They just need to you to show up and sit with them and give them a shoulder to lean on. 

Trait #3 - Love for one another.  Being a leader in ministry is about loving people.  Jesus came for people.  Jesus died for people.  Jesus' heart beats for people.  Yes.  People will hurt you.  Love them anyways.  Yes.  People will betray you.  Love them anyways.  Yes.  People will let you down.  Love them anyways.  Yes.  People will take advantage of you.  Love them anyways.  Yes.  People will walk away from you.  Love them anyways. 

Here are some practical ways you can love people...

• Always put people before programs.

• Use your ministry to build people rather than using people to build your ministry. 

• When people come with needs, hurts and problems that disrupt your "calendar" or "to-do-list" for the day, be okay with it.  

Trait #4 - Tender heart.  The Bible reminds us in Proverbs to guard our hearts above all else.  If you are not intentional, over time the grind, tasks, stresses, hurts and let-downs of ministry can cause your heart to become hardened.  Cynicism, burn out, lack of faith, anger, lack of empathy and disillusionment can set in.  When this happens, the tears dry up, compassion ceases and you find yourself just going through the motions.  You can even find yourself sliding into a place of anger and bitterness toward God.  

Here are some practical ways to keep your heart tender toward God...

• Have a consistent walk with God.  Don't get so busy working for God that you don't have time to spend with God.  When you spend time with God and in His Word each day, it will keep your heart tender.  

• Keep your eyes on Jesus rather than people.  He will never let you down.

• Ask God to keep your heart tender toward the things He cares about.  

Trait #5 - Humble mind.  Simply put...don't let the praises and accolades that come your way go to your head.   Remember...God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.  Sinful pride has no place in the life of a ministry leader.

Here are some practical ways to keep a humble mind...

• Humble leaders are always in school.  Never arrive.  Stay in learning mode for life.  Always be aware of what you don't know.

• Lead with humility.  People don't follow a title.  They follow someone they love and respect. 

• Seek the advice and input of others.  Remember...the smartest person in the room is the room.  Don't try to fly solo.  You'll go much farther with some co-pilots. 

I don't know about you, but this list of traits really challenges me.  I've got some work to do in all of these areas.  This week I'm going to be asking myself...

• How can I do a better job at seeking and promoting unity?

• How can I demonstrate true sympathy for those I lead?

• What are some ways I can demonstrate more love for the people I lead?

• How tender is my heart night now?  What are some additional things I can do to guard my heart and keep it tender toward God and others?

• Am I walking in humility?  How can I be more self-aware in this area?

Join me and let's grow as leaders.  

If you are serving in children's ministry, you will resonate with the following eight statements.  I'm not writing this for us.  I'm writing this for those who aren't in children's ministry.  If we can help them see how important children's ministry is, our churches and ministries will benefit and be more effective.

#1 - Children's ministry is just as much about adults as it is kids.  Without adults serving in children's ministry, there is no children's ministry.  Leading adults is just as important as leading kids in children's ministry.  Our success in children's ministry rises and falls on the strength of the volunteer team we build and shepherd.  Most people looking in from the outside don't know this. 

I often say children's ministry leaders are some of the best in the church.  They are one of the few people who minister to all ages groups...kids...students who serve...adults who serve and parents.  It takes some serious leadership skills to be able to do this.

Each week children's ministry leaders shepherd all of these different age groups.  They often pray with the volunteers just as much as they pray with the kids.  They often invest spiritually in the adult volunteers as much as they invest in the kids.  They often counsel parents.  They do hospital visits.  They conduct funerals.  They officiate weddings.  They truly are pastors. 

#2 - Children's ministry is the best place to invest your time and resources.  Stats show that 85% of people who come to Christ do so before the age of 18.  That alone makes it clear where the greatest mission field is.  Churches that build great worship centers, coffee shops or adult space but neglect their children's ministry space are making a serious mistake.  Churches that spend big budget money on adult ministry but skimp on their children's ministry budget are limiting their impact.  Churches that have a large worship ministry staff but are understaffed in their children's ministry will not reach as many families.

When you invest in children's ministry you will see fruit now and for years to come.  It is also easier to build kids than to repair adults.  When you welcome kids into your church and make them a priority you are ushering in the blessings of Jesus.  He made this clear in Matthew 18 when He said, "If you welcome a child in my name, you are welcoming Me."

D.L. Moody, the famous minister of yesteryear, started his ministry out focused on reaching kids in the inner city of Chicago.  Later, as his ministry grew, he "graduated" out of kids ministry into being a pastor and evangelist.  Near the end of his ministry, as he looked back and reflected, he said this. 

"If I could relive my life, I would devote my entire ministry to reaching children." D. L. Moody

Moody got it.  He understood that the best investment you can make is in reaching children.  Most people don't get this.  Many people use children's ministry as a "stepping stone" to an adult ministry role.  I'm not saying God doesn't move people and direct them to different ministries, but I am thankful for those who are called by God to serve their entire life in children's ministry.

#3 - It takes a lot of volunteers to run a children's ministry.  Recently I was talking with a children's ministry leader and she said, "I just wish people outside of children's ministry understood how much work it takes to have volunteers in place each week."  She wasn't complaining, she was simply saying that most people don't realize just how much hard work it takes to enlist, equip and encourage a team of volunteers.  This is especially true in early childhood, where you need very low ratios of volunteers to kids. Volunteers don't just magically appear in the classrooms.  It takes a lot to make it happen.

#4 - Nursery and preschool ministry is not childcare.  How many times have you heard people refer to nursery and preschool ministry as "childcare?"  If only they knew that it's so much more.  We know the pathway of children is largely determined by their preschool years and a child's view of God is formed in their early years.  It's in the preschool years that the foundation is laid for a child's spiritual formation.  Children absorb more information in their first three years than any other time in life.

A recent study shows that a person's career success can be predicted as early as kindergarten.  A group of children were tracked from kindergarten through age 25.  The children who did well when they were kindergartners were far more likely to earn a college degree and have a full-time job by 25.  Those who assessed poorly in kindergarten had a much higher chance of getting arrested, binge drinking and not doing well financially as an adult.  The results confirmed once again that helping kids develop life skills in early childhood is critical for their future.  From an early age, this can determine if the child goes to prison or college and whether they end up employed or addicted.

We must lay the foundation of God and His Word in the hearts of children in their early years.  It prepares children to step across the line of faith when they get older.  As stated earlier, we know that 85% of people who come to faith in Christ do so before the age of 18.  As we teach preschoolers that God loves them and Jesus wants to be their best friend, we plant the early seeds that will grow into saving faith when they are older.

#5 - Success in children's ministry is just as much about helping parents as it is kids.  Those inside children's ministry understand that parents are the primary influencers of children.  We know the way to influence kids is to influence their parents.  We are constantly looking for ways to encourage and equip parents to disciple their kids.  We long to partner with parents in seeing their kids grow up to love Jesus.  

#6 - Kids deserve excellence just as much as adults do.  We cringe when we see someone take short cuts and then say, "It doesn't matter, they're just kids, they won't notice."  We want people to know that they will notice and they deserve our very best effort.

Jesus modeled this so well for us.  When you read the story of the feeding of the 5,000, the reason it says there were 5,000 men present was because in those days women and children didn't count.  They were considered insignificant.  But Jesus comes along and says "Let the children come to Me.  Don't hinder them, the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as them."  Jesus showed us that we should prepare a place for kids at the kingdom table.

#7 - There is no Jr. Holy Spirit.  Kids come to Jesus just like adults do.  God answers the prayers of kids just like He does adults.  God can move in their hearts just like He can adults.  In fact, the Bible says we must have the faith of a child to enter the kingdom of God.  It tells adults to act like kids rather than telling kids to act like adults.

#8 - Children are not just the church of tomorrow.  They are the church of today and tomorrow.  They can serve today.  They can make an impact now.  They can give now.  They can pray big prayers now.  They can lead now.  They can bring people to Jesus now.

As leaders in children's ministry, we are called to champion children's ministry.  Let's help people see and understand these things.  Pass this along to someone today and open their eyes to how important children's ministry is.

I remember when she was in 3rd grade.  She was always up front, talking out when she was supposed to be listening.  And if you gave her any space, she would create her own program and take over the service.  Other kids looked to her.  She was a natural born leader.

As a teacher, it would have been easy to label her as a trouble-maker or someone who couldn't sit quietly and listen.  But the traits that some would consider misbehavior were actually just her trying to express the gifts God had placed inside her.

You see, a few years later, she's still in that class talking and leading...but from up front as the teacher.  She's a teenager now and those gifts are shining bright as she impacts the lives of many kids each week.  I was reminded of this last week when I watched her leading the program.

I'm so proud of the leader she is growing into.  God has big plans for her and I'm thankful for the leaders who saw what she could become and invested in her when she was a child.  This is a great reminder that when we look at the kids, we should view them as God does.  We should see all the potential God has placed in them and see who they can become.

I'm reminded of the song "A Shepherd Boy."  Remember the words?  When others saw a shepherd boy, God saw a king.  It's a reflection of the story of God choosing David to be king when he was still just a lowly shepherd boy.

I want to encourage you to see the kids in your ministry for who they can become.  The little girl who won't stop talking...see her as a lady one day who will boldly share her faith at work.  The little boy that is always climbing over the chairs in the room...see him as a missionary who will one day climb a mountain to tell an unreached people group about Jesus.  The pre-teen boy that seems to always be the ringleader when the boys get into trouble...see him as a Christian leader who will rally others to make a huge impact for the kingdom.

There are pastors sitting in your classroom.  There are business leaders in your nursery.  There are missionaries jumping up and down in your preschool rooms.  There are Christian doctors in your 3rd grade class.  There are entrepreneurs dropping pennies in the preschool offering who will one day invest millions into God's work.  There's a little girl singing who will one day be a great worship leader who leads thousands into the presence of God.  Can you see them?

Remember in Judges 6, when God called Gideon.  He called him a "mighty man of valor."  At the time, Gideon certainly wasn't a mighty man of valor, was he?  He told God he was the least of the least in his country.  And from man's point of view, he was.  But God saw what He could become and called him to step into that destiny.  And that's exactly what God wants to use you to do for the kids sitting in your class.

When you begin seeing kids for who they can become with God, it will totally change the way you view the children in your ministry.  

Often we focus on what great children's ministry leaders do.  But in this infograph, we share 10 things great children's ministry leaders DON'T DO.  If you' like a pdf of this, feel free to email me at dalehudsoncm2@gmail.com.

Students can be amazing children's ministry leaders.  I believe they can make an even bigger impact in the lives of kids than adults can.

Think about it.  Who do kids look up to?  Who do they want to be like?  Students.  This is one reason why you'll find so many students in the most popular kid's TV shows and movies.  Students are kid-magnets!

You probably have some students serving in your children's ministry.  If not, you are missing a great opportunity.  In this article, are some tips that can help you involve students in your children's ministry.

Once you have students enlisted to serve in your ministry, how do you lead them effectively?  Recently, two of our student ministry pastors, Kevin Wilson (@kevinwilson23) and Ryan McDermott (@ryanmcdermott), shared 4 keys to leading students who serve in children's ministry.  It was very insightful and helpful, so I want to share it with you.

Kevin:
One of our of our main goals as a Student Ministry is to help students connect to the life of the church.  We¹re not interested in having a bunch of kids who find their identity in a Student Ministry.  We want them connected to the larger body of Christ.  We want them to know their pastor and to value church life, so that when they turn 18 and graduate high school, they don¹t walk away from the faith.

In this room, we all know that one of the greatest ways for anyone, including students, to get connected into the house is to start serving.  If we are all doing our jobs well, then there is a good chance that you will have students serving on your teams.  And this isn’t just for the health of our students; its also for the health and success of your ministry.

I read a quote this week that said, “If you're not stacking your team with young leaders, you’re preparing yourself for future oblivion.”  Our students are the church of today, but they are also our succession plan.  And if we lead them well, our ceilings can become their platform.

They are full of energy, they are fast learners (especially in the area of technology), they understand trends & they have a LOT to contribute to your team.  But you have to make the effort to lead them well.  Now I know from trying to recruit volunteers for Wednesday Nights (which you are welcome to join us for anytime by the way) that working with and leading students can seem intimidating.  So we want to give you a few practical tips that we believe will help you as you equip students to do the work of the ministry.

Ryan:
1) TREAT THEM LIKE PEOPLE.  Don¹t make the mistake of treating them like students, treat them like people.  Too many times we make the mistake of putting students into a separate category. What that actually causes is isolation, and it works against us.  The best thing that we can do for our volunteers who are students is to integrate them with all of the other generations represented on our serve teams.  The best thing for them isn¹t always to serve along-side someone their own age.

In fact, often the best thing for them is to serve along-side someone like a godly 65-year-old who pursues Jesus and loves people.  The goal is not to have student greeters.  The goal is to have greeters that happen to be students.  We want to integrate them into our teams, treat them like people, teach them responsibility, and help them forge relationships with people who have run more of the race then they have.

If you treat them like kids, you will lose them.  How do you feel when someone talks to you like a kid?  How do you feel when someone treats you as an equal, or like you are the most important person in the room?  Treat them like you would anyone else on your team.  Love them.  Be honest.  Be real.

2) GET ON THEIR TURF.  All of the things that we give you are going to apply to anyone that you lead, but the way it practically plays out for students might be a little different.  This is true no matter the age of person you are trying to connect with, but you do need to understand their turf looks a lot different than most of ours.  If you are not connecting with them on social media, there is a good chance you are not connecting with them at all.

Social media has complexly changed the way that people relate and connect, especially in younger generations.  You might think that is a good thing, you might think that¹s a bad thing, but it doesn’t matter because it is a true thing.  We can’t deny it.  Don’t believe me?  All you have to do is open the dictionary.  Social media has literally changed the Webster¹s dictionary definition of the word friend! It used to be a noun... a person attached to another person by feelings or affection.  It is now also a verb... to add a person to a list of ones contacts on a social network.

Here is why it matters when it comes to leading students.  If you have to ask them what they did this weekend, it tells them you are not paying attention.  Everyone else in their lives knows what they did this weekend.  They all saw it on Instagram.  They liked it, they commented on it, they re-posted it.  When you ask a question like "What did you do this weekend?”  You are the only one asking it.  Does that mean you don¹t care about them?  Absolutely not.  Does that mean that you are irrelevant?  Absolutely not.  Some of the most godly influences in their lives will never have a social media account.  Love is the most important thing when it comes to people.

BUT if you want to find a tangible way to show them that you care, get on their turf.  Follow them. All you have to do is check their Instagram to see what they did this weekend and you know what to ask them about it.  It takes you 30 seconds to see what kind of week they.  30 seconds to know if they won their football game on Friday night.  30 seconds to know if their boyfriend broke up with them.  All of that information helps you lead them better.  Take advantage of it.

Practical tips:  Email is a completely useless way of communicating to students.  21 and under is the most rapidly declining age group on Facebook.  Text message is your best option for directly contacting students.  They always have their phone in their hand.

Kevin:
3) DON¹T UNDERESTIMATE THEM.  This generation is written off... a lot!  And while there are good reasons that most teenagers are written off by most people, the church should never be a place where this happens.  One of the things that I have learned over the years is that students always seem to do more than what is expected of them, especially when called and given great opportunities.  Belle Glade is the perfect example of this.

This idea is confirmed for me every few years when I watch the Olympics.  You have kids that are 14, 15, 16 years old competing on a global scale, and in a lot of cases, winning!  Don¹t tell me they can¹t do it.  They just need someone to believe in them.  To push them to be better than they are.  Set the bar high and get the right coaches in your life.

We should always focus on CALLING THEM UP instead of CALLING THEM OUT.  Call them up to an opportunity.  Call them up to the appropriate level of leadership.  Call them up to use gifts that they may not even know that they have.  This doesn’t mean you won¹t have to call them out.  If you’ve ever led people before, you know that on occasion you have to have some really hard conversations in love.  The same is true here.

But it is the relational equity that you have built by believing in them and getting on their turf, that will earn you the right to speak those things into their lives.  I may have never discovered my gift or passion for communicating God's Word if someone didn't give me the opportunity at 17.

You can¹t read Scripture and tell me that God doesn’t use young people to do incredible things.  Most, if not all of the scriptural examples we have of God using young people (and there are a lot) happened long before they were ever “ready.”  We need to believe in our students because maybe no one else does.  As we lead the students on our teams, just make sure that you don¹t underestimate them because there is a really good chance that they will surprise you.

4) SHOW THEM THE BIG PICTURE.  This generation of teens is a very cause driven generation.  They are always looking for a cause to fight for.  Whether it’s causing awareness for human trafficking or going green to save the planet, this generation is all about causes.

So we need to paint a great picture of why building the church is the greatest cause they can give their life to.  And they constantly need to see how what they are doing in your ministry is contributing to the big picture.  They need to see how their task, responsibility, etc is contributing to change and they will need to be reminded of it regularly! (Note: this is true for everyone but especially true of students).

A student isn’t going to do something just because you're an adult and you tell them to do something. That’s how it use to be, but it’s not the world we live in any more.  Students will challenge assumptions and challenge the status quo.  They need to know WHY the assignment they are given is worth their time, they need to know that they are contributing to something bigger than themselves, and they need to know that what they are doing will have an impact on people.

They need to know why it’s important to pass out hi-lite sheets, and why it’s important to make sure every kid gets checked in properly, and why it’s important to have someone greeting at every door on campus and why they are digging a massive garden by hand in Belle Glade!

If you don’t connect them to the big picture and remind them of how they are contributing to it, you will lose them.  They won’t serve just for the sake of serving.  They may do it for a week, but it won’t last long.  You have to connect them to the big picture.

Ryan:
CLOSING THOUGHT: PUSH THROUGH THE FRUSTRATIONS.  The students you are leading will let you down at some point.  They will goof off or lose of focus (call them up instead of calling them out).  They will forget why what they are doing is important (remind them and connect them to the big picture).

They will no show when you are counting on them (Note: it might not be their fault.  They are often at the mercy of their parents).  And they will will forget that everything is not about them (extend grace to them).  I tell our team all of the time that Wednesday nights (or times they serve) are the best nights of their week just because they don't have to be at home.