RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Each year over 4,000 churches close their doors.  There are 1/3 fewer churches today than 1950.  Each day over 3,500 people leave churches.

Why does a church go extinct?  Here are 10 key factors why I believe a church is forced to close it's doors.

They become comfortable and content.  They talk more about the past than the present.  There are more plaques celebrating the "glory days" than there are Sundays where the "glory" comes down now. 

They go into defense mode instead of offense mode.  They develop the attitude "let's just hold out til Jesus comes."  Instead of reaching out to their community, they pull back and stay inside the safety of their four walls.

They don't reach young families.  While the congregation becomes greyer and greyer, the nursery gets quieter and quieter.  There are no kids laughing and giggling in the hallway.  When you walk in, you think you've entered a retirement home.

They aren't willing to change.  Even though their ministry and programs are no longer effective, they continue doing the same things.  They've lost touch with the culture.

They aren't willing to meet people where they are.  The neighborhood the church is located in is in decline.  Instead of moving to a new location in a growing area, they stay put.  Or the demographics around them change, but the make up of their congregation does not. 

A few families control the church.  There is one family or a few families that control the church.  They've been in the church for years.  They influence everything and do whatever it takes to maintain control.  They'd rather see the church die than give up control.

They turn their focus inward.  They form a holy huddle.  There is no outreach.  The baptistry has cobwebs. 

They lose their kids and grandkids.  The kids who grow up in the church leave and don't return.  They either drop out of church completely or start attending a more relevant church.

Lack of leadership.  Everything rises and falls on leadership.  There is no strong, visionary leadership to move the church forward.  There is no compelling vision that people rally behind.  Leaders are not developed in the church.

Disunity.  Arguments over petty issues dominate church business meetings.  Ministries are silos that compete for resources.  Church splits render the church powerless. 

The floor is yours.  What are some other reasons why a church goes extinct?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

One of the most critical choices you will make is who you bring close to you.  

Of course, you should be friendly, loving, and courteous to everyone.  But this is not about that.  This is about the people you decide to spend the most time with.  These are the people you hire for staff positions...key volunteers that you spend time with...people you go to for counsel...people who will influence your life.

Pick these people carefully, because they are the ones who will help you either grow personally or hinder your growth.

Here's 10 key questions to ask yourself before bringing someone in close. 

Do they talk more than they listen?  You want people who are confident and not afraid to express their opinion.  But if they talk a lot more than they listen in conversations, ask yourself why.  Are they self-centered?  Are they teachable?  Are they a know-it-all? 

Are they an energy-giver or taker?  Some people are just plain negative.  They drain the life out of you.  You want someone who is compassionate, generous, and encouraging.  Someone who energizes you.  Someone who challenges you.  Someone who stretches you.

Does this person act or react?  Watch out for people who get defensive or critical when faced with a problem or issue.  Surround yourself with people who jump into action and problem-solving mode when faced with a problem or issue.

Does this person feel real or do they just want something from you?  Watch out for people who flatter you with constant praise or try really hard to impress you.  They usually have a hidden agenda.  Look for people who are just themselves.  If they are really good, they won't need to prove it.  You will see it in the flow of their every day life.

What are their family and close friends like?  Their family and close friends are a reflection of who they really are.

How does this person treat someone they don't know?  Is this person kind and courteous to the waitress at the restaurant...the cashier at the store....the person on the elevator?  It's in these situations that a person's true attitude is revealed.

What has this person been reading?  You can tell a lot about a person by the last 5 books they read.

Would you want to go on a long car ride with this person?  Is this someone you want to spend time with?  Is there chemistry?

Is this person growing?  Do they know what their strengths and weaknesses are?  Are they taking action to grow and improve as a leader?  Are they life-long learners?

What do they talk about a lot?  What people spend the most time talking about reveals what is important to them.

Your inner circle.  Choose them carefully.  Because you will become them.

What are some other questions to ask before bringing someone close?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.