RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

I was 22 and my wife was 21 when we got married.  A year later, our first son was born.  Four years later our second son was born.  For most of our marriage, we've had kids in the house.

But now...25 years later we find ourselves in a new season of life.  We're empty nesters.   

It's a lot quieter around our house.  The wonderful sounds that accompany the world of kids have faded away.

I once heard of a couple that had a grandfather clock.  Soon after becoming empty nesters, they sold it.  The constant ticking...which they never noticed when they had kids at home...now echoed through the rooms and annoyed them.

The empty nester season of life brings mixed emotions.  I sometimes walk by my kids' empty bedrooms and wish time had stood still and they were still home.  At other times, I enjoy the increased flexibility I have with my schedule.

Looking back, there are a lot of things I would do differently if there were such a thing as a "do-over" in parenting.  But that's the way it is with everything, isn't it?  Hindsight is such a great teacher.

As a children's ministry director, I often have the opportunity to speak into the lives of young parents.  Here's some of the tips I share with them from an empty nester perspective.

Use your camera...a lot. 
If you don't...one day you'll wish you had. 

Unplug from technology when you're with them. 
Don't let Facebook distract you from looking into your child's face when you're talking with them.  

Realize time is precious.
Parenting keeps you so busy that you don't realize just how fast time is flying.  One day you'll look back and it will have all been a blur.  I was reminded of this when I was officiating my oldest son's wedding a few years ago.  As I watched him stand at the altar,  the memories came flooding back.  Wasn't I just holding him in my arms at the hospital?  

Eat dinner together. 
Don't let the drive through at McDonald's on the way to soccer practice become your dinner table.  Studies show that kids who have a daily sit down dinner with their family are much healthy emotionally and spiritually.

Know their friends. 
Your kids' friends are a snapshot of who they are.  Know who they are spending time with.

Write down the memories. 
If you don't, you'll forget a lot of the little things that are the source of great memories.

Keep some of their stuff.
You'll look back and cherish that little cap they wore home from the hospital...that drawing they gave you when they were four...that flower pedal from their prom.

Pray for them.
Pray the promises of God over their lives.  Pray for their future spouse.  Pray they will make wise choices.  Pray they will follow God's direction.

Let them fail.
Failure can be a great teacher when you learn from it.  Don't deprive your child from these lessons by always rushing to their rescue or making sure they never experience disappointment.

Go to as many events as possible. 
Be there for the play.  Be in the stands.  Be there for the recital.  They know if you're there or not.

Listen...really listen to them. 
You want them coming to you when they have questions.  If you don't really listen to them, they'll take those questions somewhere else...to people who may not give them the right answers.

Express your love. 
Hug them.  Kiss them.  Tell them you love them...even when they are teenagers.  At times, they may not show it...but they need this and cherish every moment of it.

Teach them about money. 
How to earn it.  How to give it to God and others.  How to save it.  How to spend it wisely.

Take your day off. 
There's nothing at work that's more important than being home with your kids on your day off.

Use your vacation time and spend it with them. 
Some of your greatest bonding times and memories with your kids will be from vacations.  Don't look back on December 31 at unused vacation time.

Do some big, memorable things with them.
Save up money and do something big with your kids at least a few times.  Make it a trip or event they will never forget.  Yes, it will cost you...but the return is priceless.

Love your spouse and show it.
One of the best things you can do for your kids is to love your spouse.  They will say, "gross" when you kiss or hug in front of them, but inside it helps bring the security and stability that they long for.

Read the Bible with them.
Anytime of the day is great...but there is something special about reading God's Word with your kids as you're tucking them in for the night.  Those few moments together will lay a spiritual foundation that will last for a lifetime.

Don't over schedule their lives. 
Organized sports and activities are great...but leave your kids time to just "play" and be at home with you as well.  No agenda to fulfill.  No practice to be at.  No skill to hone.  Just you and them spending free time together.

Realize your responsibility is to make them independent of you.
Someone I know came up with this strategy and it's brilliant.

When your child is young (ages newborn to 5) you are their caretaker.  Your job at this stage is to nurture and care for them.

When your child reaches their elementary years (ages 6-11) you are their cop.  Your job is to keep out of situations and scenarios that can harm them.

When your child reaches their teenage years (ages 12-17) you are their coach.  Your job is to train them and guide them.  You begin to give them more and more freedom directly correlated with how they steward the responsibilities you are giving them.

When you child reaches their adult years (18+) you are their consultant.  You offer them advice and help when they ask for it.

The day will come when your kids will leave home.  It will be difficult.  But if you've done your job as a parent, they will be prepared to leave the nest and soar.

The floor is yours.  What are some other parenting tips for young parents.  Share them in the comment section below.

How important is the preschool /early childhood ministry in your church?

Many people think preschool ministry is simply "childcare" and not as important as elementary, pre-teen, or student ministry.

This reflects the view of the culture as a whole.  A recent poll by Gallup revealed the following.















But I would beg to differ.  I believe the early years of a child's life are the most critical.

This period is the foundation that shapes children's life.  Research confirms that the first five years are particularly important for the development of a child's brain, and the first three years are the most critical in shaping a child's brain architecture.

Early experiences provide the base for the brain's organizational development and functioning throughout life.  They have a direct impact on how children develop learning skills as well as social and emotional abilities.

Children learn more quickly during their early years than at any other time in life.

Each week we spend lots of hours and resources creating preschool classroom and chapel environments that will effectively communicate God's Word to the kids.  Even in the nursery, our leaders pray over the kids, sing songs to them, teach them, and get them acquainted with the Bible.

Please...please...please...make your preschool/early childhood ministry a top priority.  From the nursery to 5 years old - pour, pour, pour into the lives of children.  Remember....

There are some danger zones in children's ministry when it comes to safety and security.

Taking kids to the bathroom is one of those areas where there is the potential for something to happen that could devastate your children's ministry.  I know of several cases where abuse took place in this situation.

The best defense is to have a policy in place that clearly defines the procedure for taking a child to the bathroom.

Here are some of the best policies to have in place.

Best Foundational Policies for all ages:
1. Everyone who serves must have a background check, reference calls, and a personal interview before serving.  No exceptions.
2. No one is ever alone with a child.  There must always be two adults present.
3. The bathrooms the kids use should be "Kids Only" bathrooms.  Make this clear with signage, etc.

Best Policies for Nursery:
1. Only females are allowed to change diapers.
2. Have a security camera in every room.

Best Policies for Preschool:
1. Have direct access to the bathroom from the classroom.
2. If you have to walk the child to the bathroom, always make sure at least 2 adults accompany the child.
3. Look and make sure no one is in the bathroom before allowing the child to enter.
4. Stand outside the door while the child is going to the bathroom.
5. If a child can't get his or her zipper back up and you have to help him or her, make sure you have two adults present and if possible help in an area that is in the sight of others (without embarrassing the child of course).  Another option is to call the parents and ask them to come and help.

Best Policies for Elementary:
1. Have direct access to the bathroom from the classroom.
2. If you have to walk the child to the bathroom, always make sure at least 2 adults accompany the child.
3. Look and make sure no one is in the bathroom before allowing the child to enter.
4. Stand outside the door while the child is going to the bathroom.
5. Do not send older elementary kids into the bathroom with younger elementary kids. 

What are some other policies you follow?  Share with us in the comment section below.

Shine is the newest VBS from the team at Go Fish. 

Here are just a few of the new elements they’ve added this year…

• "Tasty Treats & Funky Beats" rotation where kids not only make a tasty treat, but learn some funky new grooves from some incredible drummers and beatboxers! 
• Detailed decoration instructions and videos to help you transform your church into an amazing place to shine! 
• Bible lessons that include a "Digging Deeper" section for older students.  Preschool lessons can be used as a modification for younger elementary students.

Everything you need is in your SHINE Complete Curriculum Kit.  Other than craft supplies and optional decorations, the kit is jam packed with items.

No doubt about it, Go Fish curriculum is different.  However, ask any church that’s tried it and they’ll tell you…once you do VBS the Go Fish way, your children and volunteers will never let you go back!

We're giving away a complete Shine VBS kit ($199 value) to one of our readers .  All you need to do to enter is email us at dalehudsoncm2@gmail.com.  We'll announce the winner right here next Monday.

You can get more information about ordering Shine VBS at this link.

I hate waiting in line.

Are you like me?  When you're pushing your cart toward the check-out lines at a store, you scan to see which line is the shortest.  I don't know anyone who looks for the longest line to get in.

And how many times have you asked how long the wait is at a restaurant, found out it was 20-30 minutes, and went somewhere else?

A recent study by Columbia University showed that a line of 10 people can have a large impact on purchases and increasing the length from 10 to 15 customers leads to a 10% drop in sales.

We hate waiting in lines...even at church.

Here's some steps you can take to ensure parents aren't "hating the wait" at your church.

See how long parents are having to wait in line.
Get in line with a timer and actually time the wait.  How long is it?  30 seconds?  3 minutes?

Look for ways to cut down the wait time.
What are some small tweaks you can make that will cut down the wait time?  Putting the preschool take home papers on the wall outside the classroom?  Stapling elementary papers together so you're only handing parents one thing instead of three things?  Having coats and jackets ready?

Create more lines.
No wonder we have to wait in line at Wal-Mart or Target.  They normally only have 2 out of 100 check-out lines open.  Okay maybe I'm exaggerating a little, but there is some truth to it.

Not sure why they build all those check-out stations...they only use a small percentage of them. (perhaps they could take the money saved from building unused check-out stations and buy some carts that don't go "clank, clank, clank" while you're pushing them.  Can I get an amen?)

The point is this.  If your lines are getting long, then create more lines.  Have two people checking out kids instead of one.  Have 4 check-in kiosks instead of 2.

Remember that unoccupied time seems longer than occupied time. 
Frustration comes primarily from being "aware" that time is passing.  Parents who have nothing to do but check their watches in line will be more frustrated.

What are some things you can do to help occupy parent's time while they're in line that will help take their mind off the wait?

Put a video monitor with scrolling announcements or trivia that is visible from the lines?  Theaters do this with the pre-roll before the movie starts.  Disney does this in their lines.

Talk to parents while they are waiting in line.  I like to walk up and down the line and spend a few seconds with parents while they are waiting.  It's a great opportunity to connect and build relationships.

Train your team to pull "line stopping" situations to the side. 
There are times when a parent needs to talk, an incident report needs to be signed, an issue needs to be addressed or a parent has questions.

These should not happen in line, but to the side, so the line is not slowed down.

Train your team to smile and be friendly.  Once you get to the door, being greeted by a smiling, caring, friendly volunteer helps soften the wait they just experienced.  Being greeted by a moody, negative volunteer amplifies the frustration they have felt waiting in line. 

Bottom line:  The longer the line, the lower the parent's positive reaction to the experience.  I want to challenge you to take a hard look at your line lengths and then take steps to shorten it.

Remember, the parent standing in line may be giving this "God thing" a try for the first-time.  Make sure a frustrating wait in line isn't a hindrance.