RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY: pressure

Showing posts with label pressure. Show all posts

The Key to a Marriage That Lasts

12:09 PM Dale Hudson

In Mark 10, the Pharisees asked Jesus about marriage. Here's how He responded.

Some Pharisees came to Him and tested Him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"

"What did Moses command you," He replied.

They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."

"It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. "But at the beginning of creation God 'made them male and female.'

For this reason a man will leave his mother and father and be united with His wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh."

Jesus said when a couple (btw - He said a man and woman) marries, they become one. Picture it like this. Two strands of rope being tied together to form one strand of rope. You "tie the knot."

The phrase "tying the knot" comes from the custom of tying a couple's hands together during the wedding ceremony. It has also been traced back to Sweden, where sailors would send a piece of rope to the girl they wanted to marry. If the girl returned the rope with a knot tied in it, it meant she was accepting his wedding proposal.

As Jesus continues talking about marriage in Mark 10, He says, "What God has joined together, let no one separate."

God established marriage to be a permanent relationship that would last a life time. He doesn't want the knot that was tied to be pulled apart.

But there is an enemy. John 10 says, "The thief is come to steal, kill and destroy." The enemy's desire is to snap the marriage union. There are several ways he brings the pressure.

-Lack of communication
-Infideilty
-Finances
-Abuse (emotional & physical)
-Feeling constrained
-Trust / jealousy
-Quick changes
-Spiritual differences
-Parenting disagreements
-Addictions
-Baggage from previous relationships

Every couple faces one or more of these pressures and the tension it puts on marriage. And it is hard for any couple to stand up to the pressure by themselves.

The key to a marriage not being pulled apart is found in Ecclesiastes 4. It says, "And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not easily torn apart."

The key to a marriage that lasts is the 3rd cord...which is God. When you wrap Him around your union, He will keep the enemy from pulling you apart.

The more you surrender to His will and way as a couple...the stronger the third cord will become around your union.

Matthew 6 says, "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you."

When a couple makes their decisions based on God's Word, treats each other like Jesus would and puts God first in every area of their life...the cord becomes strong enough to withstand the pressures that are trying to pull them apart...and their marriage lasts for a lifetime.

5 Ways to Help Kids Whose Parents Are Divorcing

8:13 AM Dale Hudson

You have kids in your ministry whose parents are either going through a divorce or have been through a divorce.

Many times, the parents will come to you for advice about helping their child navigate through the divorce. Of course, our prayer and desire is for the parents to reconcile. But what should you say to the parents when they ask how to help their child?

Here's 5 things to share with parents in this situation.

Tell them it's not their fault.
Often children will blame themselves for the divorce. They feel if they had been a better child it would not have happened. Assure them they are blameless.

Tell them how much you love them.
Their sense of family has been broken. They are going to feel insecure. Let them know how much you love them and that they are a priority in your life.

Keep as much structure in their life as possible.
Kids need structure more during this time than any other time in their lives. Do your best to keep their lives consistent with school, chores, sports, and other activities.

Be strong for them.
Kids will worry about their parents during this time. Whether you feel strong or not, do your best to do show your kids you are. This will ease a lot of the pressure they are feeling.

Remember they are kids.
Don't use them as a shield. Instead, shield them from having to deal with issues that should be dealt with by adults. It's not their responsibility to bring healing to your pain. Let them be kids.

3 Questions Every New (and veteran) Children's Leader Should Ask

6:56 AM Dale Hudson

As a new leader, you feel the pressure to succeed. So you may be tempted to come roaring in with all the answers. After all, you need to show them who's boss, right?

Actually the best thing you can do is build trust. And the best way to build trust is to LISTEN.

Set up meetings as soon as you get started. These can be one-on-one or in small gatherings. Come ready to take notes.

Ask these 3 questions and then listen...intently.

“If you were put into my role tomorrow, what would be the first three things you’d do and why?”

“What are the three biggest barriers to our ministry going to the next level?"

"What are our three biggest opportunities for our ministry?”

Great leaders ask lots of questions. They gather information and then sift through it for ideas that will move the ministry forward.

P.S. - Veteran leaders who remain effective continue asking questions.

The floor is yours. What are some more questions you believe new leaders should ask?

What's Sucking the Life Out of You? (Pt. 2)

8:48 AM Unknown

The leech has two suckers that cry out, "More, more!" There are three things that are never satisfied--no, four that never say, "Enough!"

Proverbs 30:15

Yesterday we talked about this verse. In Bible times, horseleeches were a common problem. It was a parasite that lived in water. Horses would pick them up when drinking from pools of contaminated water. The horseleeches would lodge in the horse's throat, nose, or nostrils and begin draining it's very life blood.

A leech is something that seeks to suck the spiritual life out of you. It's goal is to rob you of your ability to effectively serve the Lord. It is patient. It drains you a little at a time until one day you wake up and like Samson in Judges 16:20, "When he woke up, he thought, "I will do as before and shake myself free." But he didn't realize the LORD had left him." His power to serve was gone and it happened so subtlety he never knew it took place until it was too late.

We talked about 6 leeches that have their sights set on a slow kill. Today let's look at how to prevent the drain. The tips are listed in blue.

People. Our ministry is people. But be careful about people who attach themselves to you and begin to constantly drain you. It may be someone who is always negative. It may be someone who repeatedly calls you on your day off and demands the time you have set aside for your family. It may be someone who instead of following the Biblical counsel you give them would rather just lean on you as an emotional crutch.

1. Surround yourself with positive people.

2. Set boundaries and let people know your day off is reserved for your family.

3. When you are with your family, don't feel like you have to answer your pbone. Better yet, turn off

your cell phone.

4. If someone continues to ignore the counsel you give them, draw a line in the sand and let them

know you can no longer counsel them until they get serious about wanting help.

5. Remember you are responsible TO people but not FOR people.

Problems. In ministry, there are always problems that arise. You can probably think of 3-4 right now that you are dealing with. And dealing with them can suck the very life out of you.

1. Realize problems are part of forward movement. The only way to not have any is to do nothing

and be nothing.

2. Deal directly and quickly with problems instead of avoiding them. Ignoring them won't make them

go away.

3. Don't try to solve them alone. Always get advice from someone you respect and trust.

4. If you have problems weighing heavily on you at bedtime, write them down on a piece of paper with

some possible solutions before you try to go to sleep. It will make it easier to fall sleep.

5. See problems as opportunities to grow. Face them with purpose instead of self-pity.

Pressure. The pressure can be a constant life drainer. Paul reminds us of this in 2 Corinthians 11. I chuckle when I read it. He starts off by talking about all he has endured including beating, shipwreck, hunger, prison, and more. At the end of the list he says, "Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches."

It's like he is saying the toughest part of ministry is the pressure. We all feel it. It can come from our leaders but normally it comes from within. We are driven. We want to reach the world. We constantly are striving to get more done and make a bigger impact for Christ.

1. Realize you can't save the world...you just work for the Person who can.

2. Have hobbies, sports, and other outlets that take your mind off ministry.

3. Act don't react when the pressure rises.

4. Learn to prioritize and organize your time.

5. Remember sometimes 85% is good enough. The pressure to make it 100% may not be worth it.

Pace. Ministry can take over your entire life. It can consume you. It can easily grab all 7 days of your week. There is always someone else who needs you...another lesson that needs to be written...a phone call to make...an email to respond to...a family to follow up with...a hurting person to pray with. You keep telling yourself it will slow down. But it never does.

1. Find a pace that you can sustain for the long haul.

2. Take your day off...every week.

3. Use your vacation time...all of it.

4. Realize there are times when you have to operate in the red rpm zone. But make it for short

periods and get out.

5. When you are home...be home. Leave work at the office.

Pain. Prolonged physical pain can drain you. Whether it's a bad back, ongoing illness, medical condition, or complications from a surgery...it can suck the joy and vitality out of your life. I had a friend who had back issues. It got so bad that he had to quit work. The bills begin to pile up. It sucked the life out of him to the point that he committed suicide.

1. Have a doctor that you know and trust.

2. Take your time when recovering. Trying to jump back in too fast can cause you to lose more time in

the long run.

3. Don't be too "tough" or proud to ask for help.

4. Have someone you can talk with. Someone who will really listen.

5. Lean on God's grace.

Personal sin. Sin will suck the joy, anointing, and power out of our ministry. That hidden sin is doing far more damage to your spiritual life than you may know. The horseleech couldn't be seen on the surface. It attached itself inside the horse...out-of-sight. Unforgiveness, lust, pride, anger, bitterness, jealousy and other hidden, personal sins will eventually take you down if not dealt with and forsaken.

1. Yield yourself each morning to the Holy Spirit's control and guidance.

2. Have close friends that hold you accountable and ask you the tough questions.

3. Set protective boundaries around yourself. An example would be not riding alone with a member of

the opposite sex other than your spouse.

4. Focus on your relationship with God more than you do on your work for God.

5. Spend time daily in God's Word. Jesus defeated the devil's temptations by quoting Scripture.

For years, I allowed some of these leeches to suck the life out of me to the point where I almost lost my ministry. This post tells my story and what I learned through it.

Posted by Dale Hudson

6 Things That Can Suck the Life Out of You!

7:33 AM Unknown

The leech has two suckers that cry out, "More, more!" There are three things that are never satisfied--no, four that never say, "Enough!"

Proverbs 30:15

In Bible times, horseleeches were a common problem. It was a parasite that lived in water. Horses would pick them up when drinking from pools of contaminated water. The horseleeches would lodge in the horse's throat, nose, or nostrils and begin draining it's very life blood.

A leech is something that seeks to suck the spiritual life out of you. It's goal is to rob you of your ability to effectively serve the Lord. It is patient. It drains you a little at a time until one day you wake up and like Samson in Judges 16:20, "When he woke up, he thought, "I will do as before and shake myself free." But he didn't realize the LORD had left him." His power to serve was gone and it happened so subtlety he never knew it took place until it was too late.

What is sucking the life out of you? Here are 6 leeches that have their sights set on a slow kill...and you may not even know it's happening.

People. Our ministry is people. But be careful about people who attach themselves to you and begin to constantly drain you. It may be someone who is always negative. It may be someone who repeatedly calls you on your day off and demands the time you have set aside for your family. It may be someone who instead of following the Biblical counsel you give them would rather just lean on you as an emotional crutch.

Problems. In ministry, there are always problems that arise. You can probably think of 3-4 right now that you are dealing with. And dealing with them can suck the very life out of you.

Pressure. The pressure can be a constant life drainer. Paul reminds us of this in 2 Corinthians 11. I chuckle when I read it. He starts off by talking about all he has endured including beating, shipwreck, hunger, prison, and more. At the end of the list he says, "Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches."

It's like he is saying the toughest part of ministry is the pressure. We all feel it. It can come from our leaders but normally it comes from within. We are driven. We want to reach the world. We constantly are striving to get more done and make a bigger impact for Christ.

Pace. Ministry can take over your entire life. It can consume you. It can easily grab all 7 days of your week. There is always someone else who needs you...another lesson that needs to be written...a phone call to make...an email to respond to...a family to follow up with...a hurting person to pray with. You keep telling yourself it will slow down. But it never does.

Pain. Prolonged physical pain can drain you. Whether it's a bad back, ongoing illness, medical condition, or complications from a surgery...it can suck the joy and vitality out of your life. I had a friend who had back issues. It got so bad that he had to quit work. The bills begin to pile up. It sucked the life out of him to the point that he committed suicide.

Personal sin. Sin will suck the joy, anointing, and power out of our ministry. That hidden sin is doing far more damage to your spiritual life than you may know. The horseleech couldn't be seen on the surface. It attached itself inside the horse...out-of-sight. Unforgiveness, lust, pride, anger, bitterness, jealousy and other hidden, personal sins will eventually take you down if not dealt with and forsaken.

So how do you deal with the leeches that are sucking the life out of you? How do you avoid waking up one day like Samson?

Tomorrow I will share my personal story of allowing leeches to suck the life out of me to the point where I almost lost my ministry. I'll share what I learned through it and how I dealt with them. Join me as we talk about how to effectively deal with the things that are draining us.

Posted by Dale Hudson