Showing posts with label structure. Show all posts
Showing posts with label structure. Show all posts

5 Ways to Help Kids Whose Parents Are Divorcing

You have kids in your ministry whose parents are either going through a divorce or have been through a divorce.

Many times, the parents will come to you for advice about helping their child navigate through the divorce.  Of course, our prayer and desire is for the parents to reconcile.  But what should you say to the parents when they ask how to help their child?

Here's 5 things to share with parents in this situation.

Tell them it's not their fault.
Often children will blame themselves for the divorce.  They feel if they had been a better child it would not have happened.  Assure them they are blameless.

Tell them how much you love them.
Their sense of family has been broken.  They are going to feel insecure.  Let them know how much you love them and that they are a priority in your life.

Keep as much structure in their life as possible.
Kids need structure more during this time than any other time in their lives.  Do your best to keep their lives consistent with school, chores, sports, and other activities.

Be strong for them. 
Kids will worry about their parents during this time.  Whether you feel strong or not, do your best to do show your kids you are.  This will ease a lot of the pressure they are feeling.

Remember they are kids. 
Don't use them as a shield.  Instead, shield them from having to deal with issues that should be dealt with by adults.  It's not their responsibility to bring healing to your pain.  Let them be kids.

The New "Typical" Family

What picture comes to mind when you think of a "typical" family?

A bread-winner dad?  Stay at home mom?  Couple of kids?

Maybe 30 years ago...but not today.  There is no "typical" family.  Family structures are very complicated.  Research shows that no one dominant structure exists for families.

Kids are living in homes with married parents,  divorced mothers, never-married mothers, single fathers, grandparents, cohabiting parents, and a range of other situations.

In the 1950's, if you chose 100 children, 65 would have been living with married parents with the father employed and the mother at home.  Only 18 would have had both parents working.

Today, if you chose 100 children, just 22 would be living with married parents where the father is the bread-winner.  23 would be living with a single mother.  7 would be living with parents who are cohabiting.

6 would live with either a single father or grandparent.  34 would be living with married parents who both work.

Are you prepared to minister to today's families?