1. You should have bought stock in Oriental Trading.
2. You should be prepared to pray for healing for dogs, cats and goldfish.
3. A room full of preschoolers can strike terror in the heart of the bravest adult.
4. There will always be one parent who is 45 minutes late to pick up their child.
5. You should get on the good side of the church janitor. Trust me. You're going to need it.
6. A toddler can cry at a decibel level that can shatter windows.
7. Vomit comes in lots of different colors and usually happens at the worst possible time.
8. Object lessons and games that are not tested ahead of time will result in an epic fail during the service.
9. Kids will sometimes reveal embarrassing family details during prayer request time.
10. The true pronunciation of baptized is bab-ba-ba-ti-zed.
11. Preteen overnight events will shorten your life by 5 years.
12. 3rd grade boys never, never, never run out of energy.
13. If it's not made of concrete, kids will break it.
14. Kids who have already attended a service will ruin the review game in the next service by shouting out the answers.
15. The standard response to any review question when a child can't remember the answer is "Jesus."
16. When one child has to go the bathroom, ten children have to go to the bathroom.
17. When you plan an event for 20...200 will show up. When you plan an event for 200...20 will show up.
18. Electronic check-in systems wait until the busiest times to go down.
19. No matter how cool you design them, you will find some take home papers on the ground after church.
20. If you don't have a program ready for the kids, they will create one for you...and it will not be pretty.
Your turn. Share some other funny parts of children's ministry in the comment section below.