For your enjoyment, here are "20 Things a Children's Ministry Should Never Say to the Lead Pastor."
What's a background check?
During your sermon today, can you tell people they're going to hell if they don't volunteer in children's ministry?
Can I take off Easter weekend?
Do you mind if we use a video clip from the Mad Max movie in children's ministry this weekend?
Can I borrow your new car for a Costco run?
What do you think about me doing a series on Revelation for the preschoolers?
Can I take all my volunteers to Ruth's Chris Steakhouse for an appreciation dinner and charge it to the women's ministry budget?
Can you stop going 5 minutes over on your sermon so the kids don't get restless?
Can next week's offering go to sending me to Hawaii on vacation during VBS?
Can we have a "bring your pet to church" Sunday?
Can we have the worship team start doing motions in the morning service, so the adults can learn how to really worship?
Can we use the baptistry for a pool party for the 5th grade boys' class?
What if we start having the ushers use puppets to help collect the offering? I think it would help people be more "cheerful" givers.
Can we repaint the outside of the church with green, blue and hot pink colors so everyone will know our church loves kids?
Can you start using video clips from Disney movies as illustrations in your sermons?
Can we have a "bring your pet to church" Sunday?
Can we tell everyone in the choir that the choir is disbanding so all of them can serve in children's ministry?
Can you announce to the church that anyone who refuses to serve in children's ministry will not be able to participate in communion until they repent and join our team?
I want the children's ministry to have a better sound system. Can we switch the sound systems between the main auditorium and the kids' area? The adults will get used to the screeching feedback after a few weeks.
Can we start serving energy drinks to the 3rd grade boys when they arrive so they don't get thirsty during class?
Hope this has brought a smile to your face this morning. Thanks for your heart for the next generation. You're a difference maker!
From your fan,
Dale
