RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

There are many types of parenting.  

Authoritative

Permissive

Uninvolved

Helicopter

Free Range

Panda

Koala 

What is koala parenting?  Koala parenting promotes a close attachment between parents and their children from birth.  Much like a mama koala and their baby joey, koala parents prioritize closeness with their child, are incredibly nurturing, and are responsive to their child’s needs. This is lived out by parents who often hold their child like koala bears do. 

The koala bear is one of the most popular animals in Australia.  

The koala bear has some unique parenting skills. Unlike most mammals, female koalas do not leave their young while still nursing but stay with them regularly to protect, feed, and care for them until they are fully weaned.

It is based on the parenting strategy that a close attachment between a parent and their child in the early years helps the child to be independent and creates a strong personal relationship with their parents. 

Ultimately, koala parenting emphasizes a deep commitment to your children’s well-being and helping them feel safe, cared for, and supported.

Here are some principles of Koala parenting.

Birth Bonding

This consists of forming a strong bond between a baby and their parents by close skin-to-skin contact during their first weeks and months 

Breastfeeding

A close bond is formed as the mother holds her baby close. 

Baby Carrier

This involves parents carrying their baby in a backpack-like carrier or wrap. This provides close contact between the parent and the child and also makes it easier for parents to complete daily tasks in a safe way. 

A study showed that babies who were carried in soft baby carriers, rather than portable infant seats, were more likely to form a secure attachment to their mothers.  

Immediately following childbirth, a young koala will stay close to its mother as she nurtures it and ensures its survival. The baby will cling tightly to her body using its roots or claws, often draped across her back or shoulders in a sling called a "baby carrier." 

Co-sleeping

Co-sleeping is another way parents form a stronger bond with their baby,  This is not recommended as highly.

Baby Cry 

Instead of abiding by the “cry it out” method, koala parenting believes that a baby’s cry is a form of communication expressing a need, rather than considering the cries a form of manipulation and ignoring them.

Some of the benefits of koala parenting are...

Princess Kate has a big task.  She is raising the boy who will one day be King.  

At the time of this writing, the future king,  Prince George, is 10-years-old.  

10-year-old Prince George is already being prepared for his future destiny.  

There are some valuable lessons we can learn from how Kate and William are investing now into the life of the future king.  

Simon Perry, a noted author who is following Kate and William's parenting journey, had this to say. 

Part normal, part formal: Kate is raising the heir to the throne with warmth and joy - and preparing Him for His destiny.

There are some key things we can glean from Kate and William as they raise the future king.

Mothers play a huge leadership role in raising kids.  A royal insider said this...

Princess Kate is the rock.  She is the glue that sticks the family together.  

Moms are vital to see a child be raised to be a king or queen.  Yes...dads are vital as well.  But there is something very special about the role a mother plays.  

Volunteer ladies are also vital when it comes to seeing children grow up to love and follow Jesus.  I thank the Lord for all of the ladies who serve in children's ministry.  God often calls upon ladies to lead the way.  We couldn't do children's ministry without them.  What would we do without the wonderful ladies who serve in children's ministry?  Ladies, be reminded.  What you bring to the table is so critical to see kids grow up to love and follow Jesus. 

Raise children with warmth and joy.  Invest in the children in your ministry with warmth and joy.  Help kids see the warmth and joy that comes when you are following and serving Jesus. 

You are preparing children for their destiny.  Just as Kate and William are preparing George to one day reign as king, so we must prepare children to discover and follow God's destiny for their life.  You are preparing future pastors.  You are preparing future businesswomen.  You are preparing future children's pastors.  You are preparing future children's ministry volunteers.  You are preparing future church leaders. 

Take the long look.  Yes, I know right now the kids often cause you to wonder if they are hearing anything you have to say.  They cause you to sometimes wonder if you are making a difference. 

Prince Williams said this about sharing with George about his destiny:

There will be a time and place.  Right now it's just a case of keeping a secure, stable environment around Him and showing him as much love  as I can.

Let me reinforce this for you. You are making a difference.  You will see some fruit now, but most of it you will not see until years from now.  If you will stay faithful, you will see the kids you minister to grow up to be great leaders for God's kingdom. 

Just as Kate and William are preparing George for His destiny, you are helping prepare children for their destiny in Christ. 

Teach the future kings and queens what it means to follow Jesus and serve Him.  Teach them what it means to be a leader with character, integrity and a strong work ethic.  Lead by example.

Kate and William are making sure George has a fun childhood while balancing it with planned duties that are preparing Him to rule one day.  Likewise we must prepare children to serve Jesus by giving them opportunities to serve Jesus now. 

Parents...you are raising future leaders for God's kingdom.  Ask God for wisdom and insight as you navigate this.  You've got this. God gave your child(ren) to you and He will give you everything you need to raise him or her.  

Church leaders...God has given you the incredible opportunity to partner with parents to raise the future leaders of His church.  Take the calling to raise the future kings and queens very seriously.  This cause deserves 110% of our effort and commitment.

I believe that spiritual milestones for families are one of the most impactful things you can do for them.

The first milestone is child dedication.  But hang on a minute.  Do you see something missing?

Yes. There is something very important that is missing. 

It's the word "Parent."   

The dedication is just as much for the parents as it is for the children. 

This is one of the key times to connect with parents. Parents will open the door of their heart and be receptive to your insight and teaching about not only dedicating their children, but themselves as well. 

What you call this milestone is important.  I see many churches who leave out the word "parent" in their approach.  I believe this is a big mistake.  You should focus just as much on the parents as you do on the children during this. 

This should be reflected in your teaching at a parent and child dedication class.  The class should be held before the dedication and everyone should be required to attend.  Spend a lot of the class time talking to the parents about raising their children to love Jesus. Give them practical steps they can take to do this.

I have found that it is crucial to speak into the lives of parents while their children are young.  By doing this, you can help young parents prioritize their lives and have a Christ-centered approach to parenting. 

I have been frustrated at the attendance patterns of today's young families just as you have. Many families only show up at church once every four to five weeks.  This is often due to parents putting activities like sports before church attendance.  

I believe one of the times to prevent this from happening is in a Parent and Child Dedication Class.  In the class, you can be specific about making sure church attendance is a top priority for their family.  I have found planting these seeds in young parents will bear fruit as their child gets older.  

The Parent and Child Dedication class I created has a carefully planned format that impacts young families and creates a memorable experience that they will cherish for the rest of their lives. 

You can get more information about the class and see lesson samples, videos and more at this link.

Don't forget.  Our ministry should be focused on parents just as much as children.  Parents are the biggest influence in a child's life and we have the opportunity to equip parents at key times like Parent and Child Dedication.

So...is the word "parent" in your child dedication strategy?

Do you focus on parents just as much as children during the dedication?

"Parent" is a small word that can make a huge impact when you include it in your dedication strategy.

Parenting continues to shift as Gen Alpha grows up.  Gen Alpha (currently ages 10 to those who will be born through  the age of 24) are the children of the Millennials and older Gen Zers.

These parents (Millennials and older Gen Zers)  are the first generation of parents to truly be digital natives.  

The big question is this.  What values and world views do they hold onto?

This new generation of parents are well aware of the good and bad that happens in a digital society. 

Being a parent is not an easy task.  Especially in the days we are living in.  Parenting is more challenging now than ever before.

As ministry leaders, I believe we are not only called to minister to children, but to parents as well.

Let's take a look at what parents are facing and steps we can take to help them. 

What are some of the big concerns today's parents have for their children? 

A recent report from Pew Research reveals what parents are concerned about:

40% are concerned about their children experiencing anxiety or depression.

35% worry about their child being bullied.

28% worry that their child might be abducted or kidnapped.

25% are concerned their child might experience getting beat up or attacked.

23% worry about their child getting involved with drugs or alcohol as a teen.

22% worry about their child being shot as a teen.

16% worry about their child getting pregnant as a teen.

14% worry about their child getting in trouble with the police as a teen.

How hard is being a parent?

26% of parents say it is a lot harder than they thought it would be. 

36% of parents say it is somewhat harder than they thought it would be.

45% of parents say they tend to be overprotective. 

43% say they are trying to raise their children the way they were raised.

44% say they are trying to raise their children differently than the way they were raised.

How do parents feel about parenting?

80% say it is rewarding most of the time.

82% say it is enjoyable.

41% say it is tiring.
 
29% say it is stressful.

How do parents feel about their children having the same religious and political beliefs as they do?

94% say they want their children to be honest and eithical.

88% want their children to be hardworking.

81% want their children to help others who are in need.

80% want their children to be accepting of people who are different than them.

65% want their children to be ambitious. 

35% want their children to have the same religious beliefs as they do. 

16% want their children to have the same political beliefs as they do.

I believe that for far too long, children's ministries have defaulted to adult ministry taking the lead on helping parents navigate the challenges of parenting. 

It's time children's ministries step up to the plate and begin helping parents navigate the parenting challenges they are facing. 

This could look like partnering with adult ministry to host a parenting class. 

This could look like recommending resources and courses on parenting today's kids.

This could look like posting parenting tips on Facebook.  Did you know that 95% of Millennial parents are on Facebook?

This could look like sending parenting tips home with parents just like you send take home papers for kids.

Parents today face so many challenges:

Balancing Work And Family Life

Dealing With Stress

Raising Children In A Digital Age

Managing A Household On A Budget 

Teaching Children About Money

Helping Children Stay Safe Online 

The push by the LGTBQ+ agenda

These are just a few of the challenges they want your help with.

Help parents and you will help entire families.

As children's ministry leaders, our calling is not only to disciple children, but their parents as well. 

When I started out in children's ministry years ago, my mindset was that I would provide discipleship strategies for children.  

I thought it was solely the job of adult ministry to disciple parents. This included parenting classes.  If there were any parenting classes,  they should come from the adult ministry.  

This meant that I never initiated or partnered with the adult ministry to offer parenting classes.  

But as my ministry progressed over the years, my mindset about this changed.  Maybe it was time for me, as the children's ministry pastor, to take the lead when it came to offering parenting classes.  When possible, I still partnered with adult ministry in this endeavor, but I took the lead in planning and preparing these classes.  

Parenting classes are so important.  Here's why:

#1 - Parents are called to be the primary spiritual influence in their child's life.  

When we share the truths of God's Word about parenting, they can be equipped and encouraged to lead their children spiritually.  

#2 - We can place parenting tools in their hands.  

We think we know all about parenting...and then we have kids.  I heard one parent say, "Before I was a parent I had a strategy to raise children.  Now I have 3 children and no strategies."  

Parenting is definitely not for the faint of heart.  It is one of the greatest tasks you will ever endeavor to do. 

Parenting classes can help parents develop their parenting strategy.  

#3 - The greatest parenting tool is parents that love each other.  

More than children need anything, they need to know that their parents love each other.  A strong marriage is one of the greatest discipleship tools a child will ever observe.  Single parents can also have an impact by showing their children what it means to follow Jesus. 

#4 - When parents begin to grow spiritually it is a catalyst that will help their children grow spiritually as well. 

Spiritually healthy parents will produce spiritually healthy children.

#5 - Every parent needs help. 

New parents need help.  

Seasoned parents need fresh help and insight.  

Soon-to-be parents need help.

First-time parents need help.

Parents of children with behavioral or developmental issues need help.

Parents who want to learn new skills need help.

Parents who are having trouble connecting with their older children need help.

Parents who have trouble communicating with their older children need help.

Grandparents who are raising their grandchildren need help.

#6 - Parenting classes help parents prepare for the most important job they will ever have.  

Nothing at your job is more important than your role as a parent.

No hobby is more important than your role as a parent.

No amount of overtime is more important than your role as a parent.

No round of golf is as important as your role as a parent. 

#7 - The sooner you offer parenting classes the better. 

It is easier if you help parents develop their parenting plan when their children are young. Parents of babies are a perfect fit for a parenting class.  

Learning more effective parenting skills today will be priceless tomorrow.

#8 - Another great time to offer parenting classes is for parents whose children are moving into their teenage years.

Parenting teenagers can be challenging.  Let me add to that - I believe that parenting teenagers is more challenging than any other age group.

As children move into their teen years parents are looking for insight and strategies.  They are looking for help.  You can see it in their eyes as they realize their "baby" is growing up so quickly. What a great opportunity to come alongside them with specific insights and strategies in raising teens.

Let me challenge you in this.  What are you waiting for? Let's go.  Sit down and prepare your parenting class strategy for the rest of 2023 and in 2024. 

It is often a good idea to invite someone in to do a parenting seminar for you.  If you are looking for someone to come and speak into the life of the parents in your ministry, I can help you with that. I offer parenting classes for the parents of babies, preschoolers, elementary age and teenagers. If I can be of service, you can get more information and contact me at this link. 

As Christian parents, our greatest desire is for our kids to grow up and follow Jesus.  I believe how we parent and live out our faith in front of our children is the deciding factor.

Your turn.  What are your thoughts on offering parenting classes?  What should the classes focus on? How can we get parents involved?  

Share your insights and ideas in the comment section below.

We know that parents are the biggest spiritual influence in the life of their children.

As ministry leaders, we have the awesome opportunity to be an equipper, cheerleader and influencer of parents.

Here are five ways you can help parents succeed in their biggest responsibility....leading their children to love and serve Jesus for a lifetime.

Provide them with tools they can use to disciple their children.  

Here are some examples:

Take home papers.

Bible reading plan.

Devotion books for the kids.

Discipleship apps.

Facebook page for parents.  On the page, place the weekly take home paper, Bible verses, activities to do at home, devotional readings, parenting tips, etc. 

Salvation class.   

The most important thing parents do is to lead their children to Jesus.  You can come alongside parents and provide a class (for kids and parents together) that explains what it means to follow Jesus.  You can use my Starting Point class for this.  Included in the class, is a booklet that parents can use to follow-up with their child after the class.  Hundreds of churches are using this class with great success.  You can get more information about the class and see samples at this link.

Once children and their parents have went through the Starting Point class, they can then attend the baptism class.  There is a parent booklet for this class as well. You can get more information about this class and see samples at this link. 

Parenting classes and trainings.  

I think many of us in children's ministry have previously had the mindset that parenting classes and strategies are the responsibility of the adult ministry.  We've left it in their hands.  But as churches are realizing that children's ministry also has a responsibility to equip parents, we have started taking the lead in leading parenting classes.  

Partnering in prayer.  

We should be very intentional when it comes to partnering with parents in prayer.  Here are a few ideas for this.

Create a prayer promise calendar for parents. Have a prayer promise for each day of the month.  Encourage parents to use this to pray for their children. 

Put a prayer promise from God's Word on the wall in each of your nursery and preschool environments.   Let parents know that each week the prayer will be prayed over their child.  Encourage them to join you and pray the same verse over their child at home.   

Another powerful thing to do is to call parents and ask them how you can best pray for their child.  Parents will respond to this.

Consistent church attendance. 

One of the biggest areas parents are struggling is with consistent church attendance.  Families are attending church less frequently.  For many families, consistent attendance is considered once a month or less.  Parents who choose sports, recreation and staying home to just "chill" over church attendance are going to have a hard time succeeding spiritually with their children.

Our goal is to see families attend church more consistently.  How do we accomplish this?  It's not an easy task for sure.  I have seen some success by connecting with parents when their children are still very young.  

A parent and child dedication class is a great time to cover this with parents.  They are normally open to this when their children are still very young.  Wait until their children are in 3rd grade and are already entrenched with sports, weekend activities, etc. and you will have a much harder time getting them to commit to putting God first on Sunday and consistently being at church on weekends.  You can get my parent and child dedication class at this link.  In this class, I emphasize why consistent church attendance is crucial for young parents and their children. 

Your turn.  What are some more ways we can help parents as they raise their children to follow Jesus.

As children's ministry leaders, we should not only be focused on children, but their parents as well. 

Parents are the greatest influence in a child's life. So you should seek to influence the greatest influencers in children's lives.

It is important to always be thinking about how you can invest in parents and partner with them.

Here are some key conversations and trainings you can have to impact parents, which in return will make a positive impact on their children.

#1 - How to raise their children to love and follow Jesus for a lifetime.  A key time to have this conversation is when you are hosting a parent and child dedication service.  Have a class that is connected to the dedication.  In the class, explain what the dedication is about AND talk with the young parents about the essentials they need to raise their children in God's ways.  If you can speak into parents' lives at this early stage, you will see the fruit for many years.

If you are looking for a great parent and child dedication class, I have one that is being used by hundreds of church.  You can check it out at this link.

#2 - Making God's Word a priority in their home.  As kids enter elementary school, it's a great time to talk with parents about making God's Word a priority in their home.  A great way to do this is to have a Bible celebration class for children and their parents.  In the class, you can give parents practical ways they can help their children grow to love God's Word and make it part of their life.  I also have a class available for this at this link.

#3 - How to lead their child to Jesus.  Some parents are not prepared to lead their child to Jesus.  You should partner with them in the most important decision their child will ever make.  Again, a class is a great way to do this.  Have kids and parents attend together as you clearly share the Gospel. 

Talk with them about these questions:

-How old does a child have to be to enter a relationship with Jesus?

-How can I know when my child is ready to make this decision?

-What verses should I use to share the Gospel with my child?

You can get more information about the Starting Point salvation class at this link.

#4 - The importance of consistent church attendance.  In many churches we see families attending one to two times a month.  This means the children are missing over half of the lessons.  Then we wonder why they grow up and don't know God's Word or how to defend their faith.  It is crucial that you help parents see how important it is to be in church consistently for the sake of their children.  

We see many families in today's culture who choose to have their children in sports on Sundays.  Not to mention the traveling sports teams which will take children out of church for weeks on end.  We must help parents see that if they want to see their children serve Jesus for a lifetime, then they must start now making church the top priority for their family.

#5 - Preparing their children to enter the teenage years.  This is a great time to talk with parents about how to parent a teenager, pitfalls to avoid as the parent of a teenager, how to help their child thrive in their teen years, etc.  A class is a great way to communicate this.  It's also a great time to partner with your student ministry as you invest in parents during this critical time of transition.  You can see the class I developed for this at this link.

#6 - How to protect their children from online pornography.  This is so crucial.  I can't tell you the number of times I've had parents come to me and with tears in their eyes share that their child has been exposed to pornography online.  We need to be proactive and talk with parents about this before it happens.  Give them tools like online filters that block questionable information and protect children from being exposed.  

Many pre-teens in today's culture have smartphones.  Pornography is just one click away if preventive measures are not taken.  Consider having a parenting seminar that covers this issue and equips parents to put preventive measures in place.

#7 - Why we believe what we believe.  Kids are growing up in this culture unprepared to defend their faith.  Apologetics is a must.  Doctrine is a must.  Talk with parents and equip them with the resources they need to accomplish this.

#8 - How to model prayer in the home.  Help parents see the importance of prayer in the home.  It must go beyond just saying a quick prayer over the meal.  Provide parents with a prayer calendar they can use to pray over their children.  Get the tools in parents' hands that they need to have a family devotion time.   

#9 - How to help their children develop a Biblical worldview.  The culture that we live in is moving farther and farther away from a Biblical worldview.  Help parents equip their children to have a Christian worldview.  

#10 - How to help their children have a growing relationship with Jesus. Encourage them to have a time of daily Bible reading and prayer with their children.  Help them understand that this is something they should lead the way in.  When children know their parents have a growing relationship with Jesus, it will help them establish the same.  As children grow into their pre-teen years, they should also have their own time of Bible reading and prayer. 

I was in Buffalo this past weekend speaking at a church.  As I'm sure you've seen on the news, there was a shooting there at a local grocery store. 

In the church where I was speaking, there were several people who personally knew some of the people that were killed. 

One of victims was a precious senior citizen lady.  She came to that grocery store every Saturday to buy food for the homeless. 

The world we live in can be a scary place.  Today's kids live with the reality that they could be shot at school, in a store, in a movie theater, at a concert and yes...even at church.  All of these are places where shootings have taken place in recent years. 

When kids see or hear about shootings, it can cause anxiety, fear, grief, helplessness and anger.  It is important that we guide them toward stability and trust in God. Here are some key tips you can use when talking with kids about tragic events like this shooting. 

First of all, remember that each child is unique and there is not one way to address tragedies. But here are some tips that can help you and their parents know what to say during times of crisis. 

Examine yourself first.  See how you react before you ask children how they are feeling about this. Young children will be more affected by their parents' and caregivers' distress than by the actual tragedy itself.  They will pick up on your reactions.  Be ready to present yourself in a calm manner. They will be comforted more by your actions than your words. 

Talk about the heroes.  Let them know about the brave people who stepped in to help, even at the cost of their own life.  This will help kids think about the positive things rather than just all the negatives.

Consider their age.  Many psychiatrists recommend avoiding the topic with children who are under the age of 8.  But again, it depends on the child.  Share information based on your child’s individual personality and developmental stage.

Reassure them that it’s all right for them to be upset, and that you’ll do everything you can to protect them from harm. Let them know that you are there to protect them.

Preschoolers - With young children, many doctors recommend to keep the story you tell short and simple. One sentence or two will suffice for anyone under the age of 6.

Elementary children will ask many questions.  Encourage them to ask questions and answer their questions directly. 

Decide ahead of time how much you will share with them.  Also, decide how much you are going to allow your children to see in the news.  Images are hard to erase once they are in your child's mind.  Too much exposure can cause increased fear or anxiety.  

They may become clinging or whiny, have difficulty sleeping, or start wetting their beds. Reassure them that they are safe with you and these symptoms should reside.

Pre-Teens will probably have already heard about the shooting.  They have immediate news sources with their phones, tablets and other mobile devices.  Start by asking them what they have seen and heard about the tragedy.  Clear up any inaccurate information they may have heard.  Fill in the blanks for them.

Ask them how they are feeling about the tragedy.  It is important to let them express their feelings.

Teenagers.  They are looking for solutions.  They like to collaborate to bring change.  Ask them what you can do together to stand against and help prevent violence.  

In general, all kids want to know 3 things when faced with a tragedy like this shooting.

1. Am I safe?  
2. Are the people who take care of me, safe?
   
3. How will this event affect my daily life?

We know that the greatest influence in a child's life is his or her parents.  

No other conceivable causal influence... comes remotely close to matching the influence of parents on the religious faith and practices of youth. Parents just dominate. Christian Smith, Yale University 

As we acknowledge this, we need to take a look at the worldview parents are passing on to their children.

Recent research by Arizona Christian University found that less than 5% of American parents who claim to be Christian possess a biblical worldview.  The study also found that only 2% of all parents of pre-teens in the United States possess a biblical worldview.

The typical American parent is either fully unaware that there is a worldview development process, or they are aware that their child is developing a worldview, but they do not take responsibility for a role in the process.  Or they are aware the child’s worldview is being developed, but choose or allow outsiders to accomplish that duty on the parent’s behalf.  George Barna

Wow.  That is some startling news.  Plain and simple - the vast majority of parents (including Christian parents) are not passing on a Biblical worldview to their children.  It's hard to pass along something that you haven't even clarified for yourself.  

And the younger the parent, the less they follow a Christian worldview.  This is especially true with Millennial parents.  According to recent findings from the Cultural Research Center at Arizona Christian University, only 2% of Millennial parents are passing on a Christian worldview.

If we are going to see this turned around, here's what we must do.

1. Understand what a worldview is.  A worldview is a collection of attitudes, values, stories and expectations about the world around us, which inform our every thought and action. Worldview is expressed in ethics, religion, philosophy, scientific beliefs, etc..

2. We must help parents discover and follow a Christian worldview while their children are little.  The first few years in a child's life are critical.  Even at that young age, children and watching and absorbing the talk and walk of their parents.  

One way I have found to accomplish this is through a parent & child dedication milestone event.  Host a class that parents must go through before they can dedicate their child.  In the class, spend about 15 minutes talking about the dedication and what it means.  Then spend at least 30 minutes encouraging and equipping parents to raise their children to follow Jesus.  If you'd like more info. about this event, you can get an entire kit at this link. 

 3. Partner with adult ministries.  There is a tendency to fly solo when it comes to teaching and equipping parents.  Silos go up.  The children's ministry focuses solely on discipling children and the adult ministry focuses solely on discipling adults. 

But I believe it is going to take both teams working together if we are going to see parents and their children follow a Biblical worldview.Work together to create and host parenting classes, marriage conferences and family events.  

4. Be strategic in what you teach.  If we want to see kids and parents develop a Biblical worldview, then we are going to have to strategically teach them about it.  Teach apologetics to both groups.  Teach Biblical doctrine to both groups.  Teach foundational Biblical truths to both groups.  We only have a small window of time to accomplish this.  If we want kids to grow up with a Biblical worldview, then parents must adhere to the same Biblical commitment.

5. Focus on Millennial parents.  Millennial parents number more than 22 million in the U.S., with about 9,000 babies born to them each day.  They are the parents of Gen Z and Gen Alpha.  If we are going to see children develop a Biblical worldview, we must help their Millennial parents lead the way in this.  

I believe we can turn these trends around if we will be intentional in helping parents develop a Biblical worldview.  And they in turn, will pass it on to their children and grandchildren.

It's Friday.  You made it to the end of the week.  Yeah!  

But the weekend is still coming and you've got to be ready. 

Let's go into the weekend with some smiles.  Here are some funny tweets to encourage you and give you a smile or two as you prepare for the weekend. 

Every parent who has picked up a toddler and taken them away from a playground while they kick and scream and cry is legally allowed to put “bouncer” on their resume’s work history.  @Faux_Ma

Parenting books don’t prepare you for your teens hoarding all of your dishes & silverware in their bedrooms.  @sarcasticmommy4 

Toddler obsessed with Batman for six months. Buy all Batman gifts for birthday. Morning of birthday: toddler only likes Paw Patrol.  @sarcasticmommy4 

How to bake with toddlers: Don’t @reallifemommy3

Welcome to parenthood. There are now lip-shaped imprints on all of your window panes. @copymama 

It’s finally my son’s birthday, after 364 days of me telling him it’s not his birthday. @mommajessiec

The daily struggle of folding laundry and holding up an item trying to figure out if it belongs to my 3 year old, my 4 year old, or my wife.  @HenpeckedHal  

I’ll do a lot of things to make my children happy, but intentionally losing a game of Connect Four is not one of them.  @UnfilteredMama 

Having a tween boy during a pandemic is them asking why they have to brush their teeth since no one will smell their breath through their mask. @Stopyellingmep2

Feeding a toddler is like only having $0.50 to fill up your gas tank every time.  @notmythirdrodeo

Not to brag but my kid can take one chore that should take 5 minutes and through meticulous and relentless negotiating, complaining, and procrastinating stretch it into an all week event.  @Lhlodder

"Mom, watch this video. Wait til it happens. Watch, Mom. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch..." - My 6 year old showing me something on YouTube @thearibradford

My son got his license and I’m terrified, but totally ok if he wants to drive to McDonald’s and get me a McFlurry.  @skittle624

Masks are the new kids socks: they multiply all over your house and you can never find a matching one when you urgently need it.  @meenaharris

Was not prepared for how much of parenting would just be repeating “please don’t do that with your sandwich.”  @TheCatWhisprer  

If children knew how much their parents were winging it, the whole system would topple.  @Beagz

Told my sons to stop playing video games and go outside so now they’re outside pretending they’re characters in a video game and I’ll take it as a win.  VisionBored1

There’s a certain point in parenthood where if you want to see a clean kitchen you turn on HGTV.  @mommajessiec  

STOP YELLING screamed the parent.  @RodLacroix

My daughter is asking the tooth fairy for $100, “because I really liked that tooth.”  @marascampo

I convinced my 2 year old that her teeth would turn purple if she didn’t brush them, this worked really well until she decided she wants purple teeth. I really wish I’d gone with green.  @reallifemommy3

Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: "I'm gonna need more carrots."  @JessicaValenti  

One impactful thing you can do is share quotes about parenting with them.  

These can be shared as part of a parent & child dedication class, a parenting class, a social media post, etc. 

An inheritance is what you leave for your children.              A legacy is what you leave in your children. 

We never know of the love of a parent until we become parents ourselves.  Henry Ward Beecher

The best parenting method is having a mom and dad who love each other.

When you look into your mother’s eyes, you know that is the purest love you can find on this earth.                         Mitch Albom

The best inheritance a parent can give his children is a few minutes of his time each day.   O. A. Battista

All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my mother.    Abraham Lincoln

Before I became a parent, I had 3 theories about raising children.  Now I have 3 children and no theories about raising children.

Behind every young child who believes in himself is a parent who believed first.  Matthew Jacobson

Parenting is a life time job and does not stop when a child grows up.  Jake Slope

The most important thing that parents can teach their children is how to get along without them.  Frank A. Clark

No matter your age, you will always need your mom.

My father didn’t tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  Clarence Budinton Kelland

Don’t worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you. Robert Fulghum

As your kids grow they may forget what you said, but won’t forget how you made them feel. Kevin Heath

There is no school equal to a decent home and no teacher equal to a virtuous parent. Mahatma Gandhi

You are your child's first teacher.

Hypocritical parents leads to skeptical children.  Walk the talk.  

If you’ve never been hated by your child, you’ve never been a parent.  Bette Davis

Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.  Charles R. Swindoll 

Discipline is not something we do to our children.  It is something we do for our children.

Your turn. What are some great parenting quotes you have heard or read?  Share them with us in the comment section below.

If you have or did have a child in school, you remember the anticipation they (and you) felt as you met your child's first school teacher.

As a parent, you hoped your child would get a teacher who was kind yet thorough, who was focused but fun as well, and was qualified but also caring.  

That being said, I was reminded this week that your child's school teacher wasn't or will not be your child's first teacher.  

Your child's first teacher is you as the parent.  From the moment they are born, you have the great privilege of being their first teacher.  

I've been driving cross country this week with my wife, son and daughter-in-law.  He is transferring with his company to a western state.  I've been watching he and his wife this week as they parent and lead their son. They have already established a great bond with their son who is just a few months old and they are going to be a great "first teacher" to their son as he grows and matures.  

Thinking about a mother being a first teacher reminded me of these verses that were written to Timothy.

2 Timothy 1:5  - "I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you."    

2 Timothy 3:15 - "You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus."  

Timothy's first teacher was his mother Eunice.  

His grandmother, Lois, was also a big part of his spiritual learning and upbringing.  My son has godly grandparents and growing up it was always good to have him spend time with them as they were an example for him to learn from. 

Most of you reading this are spiritual leaders in a local church or para-church ministry.  You have the great privilege of influencing kids to follow Jesus.  But always remember that first and foremost the children's first teacher is their parents.

The greatest way to influence children spiritually is to influence their parents spiritually.  Invest in the children's first teacher - their parents.   - Dale Hudson

A great way to influence parents spiritually and equip them is through spiritual milestones.  These are direct opportunities to speak directly into their lives and give them the tools they need to raise their kids to know God's Word, wisdom and way of salvation.  You can get more information about the milestone strategy at this link.  

There are so many important things parents can teach their children.  If I made an entire list, it would go on for pages and pages.  But let's just focus on a few.

As the first teacher of your child, teach him or her about...

the love of God

God's plan of salvation

a growing relationship with Jesus

the Bible is God's Word

the doctrines of the faith (in simple terms)

the 10 commandments

their identity in Christ

how to make wise choices

God has a special plan for their lives

the fruits of the Spirit

As you head into 2021, determine that you are going to invest in the "first teachers."  By doing this, you will help them fulfill this verse...

"Keep a close watch on how you live and on your teaching. Stay true to what is right for the sake of your own salvation and the salvation of those who hear you."  I Timothy 4:16

I have often shared an illustration about this verse.  When you are flying and they are going through the pre-flight safety instructions, they bring out a mask.  This mask is used in case there is a shortage of oxygen in the cabin.  It comes down from overhead.  Remember what they say to do if you are traveling with a child?  They say to put your mask on first and then on the child.  Why do they say that?  Because, if you pass out, you can't help your child put on theirs.  

The same applies to a parent.  If you want to have spiritually healthy children, then you must first make sure you are fulfilling God's calling as your child's first teacher.  You must walk the talk and be an example of what it means to love God with all your heart, mind and soul.

If you are a first teacher, then use today to teach well.  And if you are in a place to influence parents, pour everything you've got into it. 

(p.s. Shout out to home school parents who teach their children both spiritually and academically.)

Many parents are working from home these days due to the virus.  This means they are able to interact with their kids more often during the day.  

When it comes to jobs and careers, this has been a great reminder that as parents, our most important job is at home. It's investing in our children and helping them grow up to serve Jesus for their lifetime.

We can be wildly successful in our "career," but fail in the most important job we have - raising our kids to love Jesus. 

Your greatest legacy will not be based on what you leave for your kids.  Rather it is what you leave in your kids. 

You have been given a great opportunity to spend more time investing in your children and grandchildren and building a deeper relationship with them.  Don't miss it! You only get one chance to do this thing called parenting.  

A 100 years from now it won't matter what kind of car you drove, how many sq. ft. your house was or what was in your bank account.  What will matter is the time you spent working at your most important job...your relationships with your family.  

I know it can be crazy at times when you have kids and a spouse that are with you now at work.  

"He looked at me, mom!"

"I'm hungry."

"Can I watch a movie?"

"She won't share with me!"

"Tell him to get out of my room!"

"She's being mean to me!"

"I don't want to watch Netflix.  I want to watch Disney+.  Make him change the channel!"

Sound familiar?

Patience, God.  Give us patience as parents while we work from home.

Here are some tips for parents who are working from home:

• Create a work schedule.

• Be flexible with your work hours.  You may need to be a early bird and start your work day a few hours before your kids get up or after they have gone to bed.
  

• Plan breaks to spend time with your children.  Just like you would take a break at your place of employment, set breaks for during your work time.  Use these breaks to connect with your kids.
  

Here are some tips on working at home with your kids:

Create a schedule.

Be flexible with your work hours. This may mean working early in the morning before the kids get up or working after they go to bed.

Plan work breaks just like you would at the office.  Use those breaks to connect with your family.

Set clear boundaries.  Have a designated work space.  Ask the family to give you as much privacy as they can when you are in this space.

And during this time of working from home...don't miss the opportunity you have to fulfill your most important job.  

Here are some tips that I am working on that can help you and I become better listeners:

Stop what you are doing.

Set aside your cellphone.  Our cellphones are constantly diverting our attention - who is calling or texting me and what do they want?

Clear your mind and focus on what the other person is saying.

Ask questions.  One of the best ways to listen to learn is by asking questions.

Concentrate on what they are saying instead of internally planning what you are going to say in return.

Practice empathy.  See the world through the other person's eyes and emotions.  Seek to understand their perspective.  

Show you are actively listening by nodding and leaning in to the conversation.  This will show the other person that you are engaged in the conversation.

Repeat what you heard and ask follow up questions.  This will show the other person you are tracking with them.

Don't interrupt.  Listen until they are done. 

Don't bring an agenda to the conversation.  When you do this, your goal shifts to maneuvering and manipulating the conversation. 

Strive for a 2:1 ratio of listening to talking.  Keep track of how much you talk vs. how much you listen.  We've all heard the statement that God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason. 

As a children's ministry leader, you have lots of people that you listen to.  Parents.  Kids.  Volunteers.  Other staff members.  Grandparents.  Students.  Just to name a few.  Give them a listening ear.  With their insight, you can personally grow and you can make the ministry better.

Have any questions, ideas or insight about being a better listener?  We're all ears. You can leave your thoughts in the comment section below.

Kobe Bryant was a basketball super star.  I remember watching him play in person when I lived in Las Vegas.  He was playing in a summer league.  The game I saw him play in person was against Lebron James.  Kobe hit several 3 pointers to seal the victory.  

Kobe obviously loved the game of basketball.  He was a great basketball player.  Definitely one of the GOAT. 

But he was also a devoted parent who loved his family. Was he a perfect father and husband?  No. He had his shortcomings.  But don't we all?

As you know, a few months ago he was killed in a helicopter crash along with his oldest daughter, Gigi.  Before he and Gigi died in a helicopter,  he talked about his experiences as a father in several interviews and public appearances.