Apr 9, 2021

More Funny Tweets From Parents

It's Friday.  You made it to the end of the week.  Yeah!  

But the weekend is still coming and you've got to be ready. 

Let's go into the weekend with some smiles.  Here are some funny tweets to encourage you and give you a smile or two as you prepare for the weekend. 

Every parent who has picked up a toddler and taken them away from a playground while they kick and scream and cry is legally allowed to put “bouncer” on their resume’s work history.  @Faux_Ma

Parenting books don’t prepare you for your teens hoarding all of your dishes & silverware in their bedrooms.  @sarcasticmommy4 

Toddler obsessed with Batman for six months. Buy all Batman gifts for birthday. Morning of birthday: toddler only likes Paw Patrol.  @sarcasticmommy4 

How to bake with toddlers: Don’t @reallifemommy3

Welcome to parenthood. There are now lip-shaped imprints on all of your window panes. @copymama 

It’s finally my son’s birthday, after 364 days of me telling him it’s not his birthday. @mommajessiec

The daily struggle of folding laundry and holding up an item trying to figure out if it belongs to my 3 year old, my 4 year old, or my wife.  @HenpeckedHal  

I’ll do a lot of things to make my children happy, but intentionally losing a game of Connect Four is not one of them.  @UnfilteredMama 

Having a tween boy during a pandemic is them asking why they have to brush their teeth since no one will smell their breath through their mask. @Stopyellingmep2

Feeding a toddler is like only having $0.50 to fill up your gas tank every time.  @notmythirdrodeo

Not to brag but my kid can take one chore that should take 5 minutes and through meticulous and relentless negotiating, complaining, and procrastinating stretch it into an all week event.  @Lhlodder

"Mom, watch this video. Wait til it happens. Watch, Mom. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch..." - My 6 year old showing me something on YouTube @thearibradford

My son got his license and I’m terrified, but totally ok if he wants to drive to McDonald’s and get me a McFlurry.  @skittle624

Masks are the new kids socks: they multiply all over your house and you can never find a matching one when you urgently need it.  @meenaharris

Was not prepared for how much of parenting would just be repeating “please don’t do that with your sandwich.”  @TheCatWhisprer  

If children knew how much their parents were winging it, the whole system would topple.  @Beagz

Told my sons to stop playing video games and go outside so now they’re outside pretending they’re characters in a video game and I’ll take it as a win.  VisionBored1

There’s a certain point in parenthood where if you want to see a clean kitchen you turn on HGTV.  @mommajessiec  

STOP YELLING screamed the parent.  @RodLacroix

My daughter is asking the tooth fairy for $100, “because I really liked that tooth.”  @marascampo

I convinced my 2 year old that her teeth would turn purple if she didn’t brush them, this worked really well until she decided she wants purple teeth. I really wish I’d gone with green.  @reallifemommy3

Whenever I get discouraged and want to quit something, I remember the words of my then 3 year-old after she puked carrots all over the living room floor: "I'm gonna need more carrots."  @JessicaValenti  

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