RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Do you need more volunteers? Of course, you do. I've never seen a children's ministry that didn't need more volunteers.

But when you get desperate, you may be tempted to take a short cut and let some people serve who shouldn't be serving.

First and foremost, remember this. 

It is a privilege to serve in children's ministry. It's nobody's right to serve in children's ministry. 

With this in mind, here are 5 people that you should not let serve in children's ministry. 

Anyone who has not completed a background check should not serve in children's ministry.

You can't cut corners with this. No matter who it is. They should not serve in children's ministry if they have not completed a background check.  If they refuse to take a background check, it is a major red flag.  

Here's a side note - what should you do if something does pop on someones background check? This can be a case by case situation. If it is someone who had a DUI ten years ago before they became a believer and they have walked the talk and proven themselves ever since then, you can consider letting them serve. But don't make the decision by yourself. Bring in 2-3 other people and together make this decision.  Now if the DUI was just six months ago, then that's a different scenario. I would not let them serve at this time until they have proven themselves over a good period of time. 

Anyone who is involved in sex outside of marriage between a man and a woman should not serve in children's ministry.

This includes same sex relationships, adultery, and fornication. Yes...you are going to need to ask them point blank about this.  How do you approach this question with a person? It needs to happen in a personal interview. You can get my volunteer interview questions at this link free of charge.  A man should do the volunteer interview for a man and a woman should do the interview for a woman.  I would strongly encourage you to do a personal interview with each person before they start serving. 

People who are constantly negative should not serve in children's ministry. 

I am not talking about someone who occasionally gives you push back. I am talking about someone who is chronically negative. Their negative vibe is corroding away at the spirit of the team.  They say things in team meetings that are uncalled for and complain about everything you try to do.  You can't afford to let this person sabotage what you are trying to accomplish.

Give this person the opportunity to change their attitude.  Have a conversation with them and share what their attitude is doing to the team. Share with them some steps they can take to change this. If the negativity continues, it's' time to part ways. 

Anyone who has abused a child should never serve in children's ministry.

Never...never...never...never...never...never let anyone who has abused a child to serve in your children's ministry. This is a life-time ban. No exceptions. If the abuse was sexual in nature, I highly recommend you do not let them attend your church. They can watch online, but should not be allowed anywhere on the church grounds. 

 People who chronically resist change and won't follow leadership should not serve in children's ministry.

You cannot afford to keep someone on your team that hates change to the point where they oppose everything you do to move the ministry forward. They constantly question your leadership and won't follow you. They whisper about your leadership behind your back.  They constantly bring up how amazing the previous children's pastor was. They are stuck in the "good ole days."  If they can't follow the vision God has given you for the ministry, then you need to part ways with them.  

Leading in children's ministry is not an easy task. You often have to make hard decisions.  Ask God to help you lead with wisdom and courage.  Again, remember that it is no one's right to serve in children's ministry. It is a privilege.  Guard your team carefully.  Say "no" when a "no" is needed. 

We must remember that the safety and spiritual well being of the children comes first. 

p.s. For an in depth look at how you should lead in children's ministry, check out my book "Lead Well in Children's Ministry."  It is available at this link. 

Your turn. Who are some other people who should not serve in children's ministry? Share your thoughts about this in the comments section below.

Some people think you only have to be good at teaching kids to be a children's pastor.

The truth is...there are so many more things you need to be good at if you are going to be a successful children's pastor. 

Let's look at what it really takes to be a children's pastor. These are in no particular order.

Skill #1 - A builder of volunteer teams.

If you want to be a successful children's pastor, then you have to know how to build volunteer teams. 

The success of your ministry will rise and fall on the strength of the volunteer team you build.  There is no way around it.  You must be able to build volunteer teams. You can be great with children, but if you can't lead volunteers, you will have a hard time. 

When young leaders ask me what they should be focusing on, I always tell them to become good at building volunteer teams. I believe it is the most important skill you can have.  

The good news is this...you can learn how to build volunteer teams. If you haven't read my book, "The Formula for Building Great Volunteer Teams," you need to get a copy today. It's available at this link - it has been called the best book ever written on the subject.  

Skill #2 - A vision caster.

Where will you take the people you are leading?  

What is the vision you are sharing with them?

People won't follow a person who has no vision.  

Get alone with God and seek His vision for your ministry.  

Point people toward a big vision.  

Be passionate about the vision.  

People will follow someone who is passionate about the vision God has placed before them.

Skill #3 - Public speaker.

You need to be able to teach kids effectively. 

You need to be able to speak to parents and adults effectively as well. 

If you don't feel confident as a public speaker, the good news is you can improve and get better at this.  

Skill #4 - Connect well with kids. 

You are in children's ministry.  They are your ministry.  

Learn how to connect with kids when you talk with them.  

Learn how to make them laugh.  

Learn how to say silly, funny things to them.  

Especially focus on being able to talk with first-time guests. 

Skill #5 - Navigating conflict resolution.

Believe it or not, there are times when conflict arises in children's ministry.

Volunteers will get upset with you.  Volunteers  will get upset with each other.

Parents will get upset. Parents will become disgruntled.  

I am not naturally good with conflict.  I don't like it...but it is important that you learn how to deal with it and solve it. 

There are lots of great books you can read to get better at conflict resolution.  I personally recommend the book "How to Have That Hard Conversation" by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. You can get this book on Amazon.

Skill #6 - Influencer of parents.

Being able to influence parents is even more important than influencing kids.  

No one has more influence in a child's life than his or her parents.  Influence parents and you will influence their children.  

Always be thinking "parents."  

How can I extend this lesson into the home?

Remember...when you reach a child, God changes a life.  But when you reach parents, God changes an entire family. 

You need to be able to connect with parents.  

Skill #7 - Motivator of people.

You need to be able to rally volunteers around a common vision.  

You need to be excited about what God is doing and effectively share this with volunteers.

You need to be able to effectively share the "why" to your volunteers.' 

Skill #8 - Team manager 

You must be able to equip volunteers. 

You must be able to empower volunteers.

You must be able to communicate well with volunteers.

You must be able to help volunteers find their sweet spot and minister in it.

Skill #9 - Event planner and organizer. 

Kid's camp.

VBS.

Fall Trunk or Treat.

Easter Egg Hunt.

You must be able to plan events and empower leaders to own the plans. 

Skill #10 - Counselor and shepherd.  

You must become a shepherd and counselor for your volunteers.  

When they need prayer, they will come to you. 

When they need council, they will come to you.

When they need comfort, they will come to you.

When they need advice, they will come to you. 

Don't feel inadequate when you look at this list...we've got your back. You can do this. These are skills that can be learned and improved in.  

Here are a couple more resources for you. 

The book "Lead Well in Children's Ministry" contains lots of wisdom about leading in children's ministry.  You can get it here.

I have a 6 month coaching experience that you can be a part of.  You can get more info. at this link about Advance Children's Ministry Coaching.  

Keep growing...keep learning...keep stretching...keep pushing yourself.  You got this. 

Do you have a program that you've been thinking about stopping?  

Should you stop it or continue it? 

That can be a challenging decision to make.  

Before you make the decision, take some time to think it through.

Here are 10 reasons why you should stop a program. This should be a help as you ponder stopping or continuing.

Lack of volunteers.

You obviously need volunteers to run a ministry program.  Is the program in question suffering from a lack of volunteers? If the program is causing volunteers to be spread thin across multiple programs, then it might be time to refocus your volunteers into less programs.

Lack of attendance.  

People vote with their feet. If attendance is in significant decline, it might be time to stop doing it. 

Doing a program just because you've always done it that way.

It can be hard to break away from the past. But you must if the past is hindering the future.  It's easy to get stuck in a rut and continuing to run a program just because you always have.  

Honor the past, but keep your eyes on the future.  If you keep doing what you've always done, you'll always get the same results.   

Is future growth and success being held back because you're more concerned about the past than you are the future?  

You are continuing to do the program just to keep a small group of people happy.

It is not always easy to stop a program.  Normally there will be a small group of people who are more invested in the specific program than they are in the overall vision of the ministry. 

But sometimes you have to make the tough decision to stop a program even though some people are going to get upset. 

Don't let the guardians of the past stop you from moving the ministry forward.

Lack of budget funding.

Are you spending money on a program that needs to be redirected into another ministry that has more potential?  

Being a good steward means using the money God has entrusted you with wisely.  The wise decision may be redirecting the funding to a ministry that has more potential.

Lack of fruit. 

I call this the blank piece of paper test.  Whatever the program or event is...a year later can you write down the names of families that have been reached and discipled because of it?  If you can't....then why are you continuing to try and perpetuate the program or event?

You often hear someone say, "Yeah...it wasn't what we expected...but if just one child comes to Jesus then it was worth it.  Yes...I believe that...but don't try to justify continuing a program that is not bearing fruit with that mindset.

Conflicts with other programs. 

Do you have multiple programs that are causing families to have to make choices?  Are you doing programs that are conflicting with other programs in the church?  Consider working with the other ministries in your church and streamlining your programs to fit the big picture.  Families will appreciate it.

The program is not helping disciple children. 

Does the program have discipleship components in it?  

Does it have steps kids can take to grow in their faith? 

If it's not helping kids come to Christ and grow in their faith, then why are you doing it?

The program is not helping fulfill the overall vision of the church.

What is the overall vision of your church?  

If a program is not helping fuel the overall vision, then consider stopping it. Alignment is so important.  

Kids are saying it is boring.

If children say a program is boring...guess what...it probably is.  Consider asking kids on a regular basis if they like your current programs.  They are your target audience and their feedback is important. 

So there you have it.  Many of you who are reading this are currently trying to decide about a program. Should you stop it? Should you keep doing it? Should you revamp it?  

Think through these 10 points as you make your decision.

One last thought...remember this...sometimes less is more. It might be more effective for you to do a few programs with excellence than doing a larger number of programs with mediocrity. 

Do you have a vision for your children's ministry?

Vision can give your ministry direction and purpose. It is extremely important.  When you have a strong vision, it can help you make good decisions.

Vision gives you a goal to pursue.  

Vision can provide you with a framework for your ministry.

It should be something people can rally behind, believe in, and be flexible enough to adapt to change. And, of course, it must be expressed in a crystal-clear leadership vision statement.

It is true, everything rises and falls on leadership.  

Do you want to know how effective your leadership is?  Look closely at the ministry you lead.  It is a reflection of your leadership.

Vision can inspire people...it can motivate people.

As you think about visionary leadership...remember this.  Vision leaks.  It's not a one and done. You have to consistently take people back to the vision.  This will help them stay focused on what is ahead and continue to be passionate about what lays ahead. 

A strong vision will help you attract people to join you in your cause. 

If you don't have a vision for your children's ministry, get one. Sit down with a group of key leaders and craft a vision.  Make it simple, short, and inspiring.

One tip I share with people is this.  Make your children's and family ministry vision a reflection of the churches overall vision.  

Here's an example.

A church's overall vision might be something like "Sharing the love and message of Jesus with the world."

You could tweak your children's ministry vision to be something like "Sharing the love and message of Jesus with kids and families."

See how it is very close to the overall vision?  This can bring alignment as you rally people to buy in to your children's ministry vision.  

A strong vision can bring teams together and be used for team building.

Keep this in mind.  

A vision must have structure.  It needs a plan that can make it become a reality.  If the vision is the motor that drives things forward, then plans, setting goals and holding people accountable to meet their part in the vision is the gasoline that empowers the vision and propels the team toward the vision. 

I want to encourage you to work through these follow up steps:

1. Identify and clarify your vision.  Make it clear and concise.

2. Bring the vision to the team.

3. Get buy-in for the vision.  

4. The vision should be compelling enough to get people excited about it.

5. Align the team behind the vision.

6. Continue to cast the vision on a regular basis.

A strong vision will help you build a strong team.  

Your turn.  

How do you cast vision?

How do you get buy in for the vision?

How do you keep people excited about the vision?

Share your thoughts and insight in the comment section below.

Do you want to know if your church is healthy?  

Here's a simple, but profound way to answer that question.

Is your children's ministry healthy?

A healthy church will have a healthy children's ministry.   

On the way to work each day, I drive by a church building. There are weeds growing over everything.  The roof is falling in.  There is a "for sale" sign in the front yard.  

I am sure at one time it was healthy church.  There were babies in the nursery.  You could hear the pitter patter of preschoolers.  You could hear the laughter and giggles of pre-teens as they interacted with each other.  

But something happened.  

I can tell you what happened. Somewhere along the way, they lost sight of the importance of children's ministry.  They didn't realize or forgot that Jesus says when you welcome children, you are welcoming Him.  

They didn't make children's ministry a priority and so the church became unhealthy.  Eventually, it became so unhealthy, they had to shut the doors and close down for good.  This story could be repeated time and time again in churches across the nation.

So what are some indicators that your children's ministry is healthy? 

In a healthy church, the children's ministry should be 18-25% of the total church attendance. 

I would encourage you to sit down and look at your overall ministry.  What percentage of your church is children?  If it's under 18%, you need to take a hard look and make some changes.

In a healthy church, the children's ministry will have adequate staffing. 

Ideally a church will have one full-time staff person for every 125-150 kids.  Take some time to see where you are at with this. I have a chart that tells what staff to add and when. Email me at dale@buildingchildrensministry.com and I will be glad to send it to you.

In a healthy church, the children's ministry will have lots of people serving. 

Serving in children's ministry will be one of the best areas to serve in.  The best volunteers in the church will be found in the children's ministry.

In a healthy church, parents of children will come to Christ on a regular basis.

Not only will children come to Christ, but their parents as well.  Think with me about the times in the Bible when people's first contact with Jesus was through their children. Their child was sick and so they came to Jesus.  Their child had died and they came to Jesus for help.  Their children could not walk and so they brought the child to Jesus. 

The same thing can happen today.  God can and will use children to reach their parents.  The best way I have found to see this happen is to have a salvation class for children who are asking about following Jesus.  Invite the child and their parents to attend the class together.  No drop-offs.  

Once you get the parent in the room with their child and clearly share the Gospel, you will be surprised how many parents will also come to Christ and they and their child will get baptized together. 

I have a class called Starting Point for this. Churches across the country are using this and seeing many parents come to Christ. You can get more info. about Starting Point at this link.

In a healthy church, the budget for children's ministry will be more than adequate.

Major dollars will be poured into children's ministry. When a church invests in children financially, the blessings of Jesus will come.

In a healthy church, children's ministry will be a top priority.

The children won't be stuck off in the basement.  Rather it will be elevated as one of the most important ministries in the church.  It will be highly visible and will be promoted on a regular basis.

Healthy Children's Ministry = Healthy Church

How healthy is your church?  

Be the champion for children's ministry at your church and let God use you to impact the entire church through your ministry.

If you want people to follow you, here are 10 characteristics to work on and develop in your leadership.

#1 - Integrity.  

Keep your word.  Be honest.  Be authentic.  

When it comes to integrity, it's not just about what you do.  It is also about who you are.  What you do flows out of who you are.

Integrity is Abraham Lincoln.  He bought something in a store and was walking back home and realized the check-out person had accidentally given him too much change.  In spite of the fact that it was only a few pennies, Lincoln walked back several miles to give the store their change back.

If you are an authentic leader, you won't be fake or caught in a lie.

#2 - Empowering others. 

A great leader doesn't micromanage.  Instead, they empower others to lead.  I often say this -

"Good leaders are powerful.  Great leaders are empowering."

Great leaders know how to delegate and then follow up with guidance and insight when needed.  

"Good leaders are stars.  Great leaders create stars." 

If you want to be a great leader, then spend more time equipping and less time doing.

Your ability to assign tasks to others and manage your own time effectively is vital.

#3 - Humility.

They are not filled with pride.  Rather, they give the credit away for accomplishments.

They admit it when they make a mistake or misstep.  They lead the way in asking for forgiveness when there is conflict or misunderstandings.

Many people believe that humble leaders make the best leaders.

#4 - Ability to mentor and teach other leaders.   

They know how to pour into others and help them grow.  They always have 3-4 people that they are investing in. They love all their team members equally.  But they are selective when it comes to choosing people they are going to mentor and pour into. 

#5 - Vision casting.  

Great leaders know how to communicate strategy to the team.  They align the efforts of individuals toward a common vision.  They create a sense of purpose which drives progress.  They don't delegate this because they know it is one of their biggest responsibilities.  

#6 - Feedback.

Great leaders ask for feedback.  They know it is a critical step in being able to improve their leadership skills.  

They actively seek out their blind spots. They know they can't improve if they don't know what it is they need to improve. 

Great leaders also take into consideration that some team members may feel apprehensive about criticizing their leadership style.  The leader must take the initiative and build trust with the team members. This will help them know that any feedback they give will be handled professionally and will not effect the personal relationship the leader might have with them.

To improve honesty in the feedback,  the leader may choose to send an anonymous survey.  The leader can then take action wherever possible.  The feedback is only helpful if it allows the leader to take action based on the feedback.

#7 - Active listening. 

There is listening and then there is active listening.  Great leaders are active listeners. They listen sincerely to what others have to say.  They seek to understand people and their point of view.  They know they can get new and fresh ideas from the team. 

 #8 - Resilience. 

Great leaders face hard days too.  But they don't let the hardships dishearten them from pushing through and keep them from reaching their goals.

Great leaders don't let the hardships and challenges bother them all the time.  There will also be challenges, but a great leader pushes through it. They maintain their energy level as they respond to the disruptions. 

Great leaders don't give up.  Great leaders don't stay down when they get knocked down.  

 #9 - Passion.  

Great leaders are driven by passion towards their goal. They are highly passionate about their dreams and objectives.

They know what they want to see accomplished and work hard to achieve those.'

Their passion is infectious and inspiring. They are highly committed to their goals and help others achieve theirs as well.

It keeps them active and dedicated to the said task.

#10 - Personal walk with Jesus.

I saved the most critical and important characteristic for last.  It's a personal walk with Jesus.  As you spend time with Him, you will grow spiritually. 

I believe that the more time you spend with Jesus, the better leader you will be.  Jesus is the greatest leader of all times.  Spending time with Him is the difference maker.  As you walk with Him, you will be filled with His wisdom, anointing, and power.  

Without a personal walk with Jesus, you will never obtain the first nine of these characteristics.  

Listen to His Words:

Without Me you can do nothing...

You will receive power...

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me...

Call on Me and I will answer and show you great and mighty things...

It is not by might nor by power...it is through His Spirit...

I pray that 2024 will be your best leadership year ever.  As you live out these characteristics, God is going to do great things in your life and through your life.

p.s. Have you read my book "Lead Well in Children's Ministry?"  It contains tons of great leadership skills and training for leading in children and family ministry.  Grab your copy today at this link.

I have found that timely quotes are a great way to do this for your volunteers.  

Here are 20 great quotes you can share with your volunteers.

Volunteers don't serve for the income...rather they serve for the outcome.

Act as if what you do makes a difference...because it does. -William James

Everyone can be great...because everyone can serve.  -Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean.  But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop.  -Mother Teresa

In everything I did, I showed you that by this kind of hard work we must help the weak, remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: It is more blessed to give than to receive. -Acts 20:35

Volunteers don’t get paid, not because they’re worthless, but because they’re priceless.  -Sherry Anderson

You make a living by what you get. You make a life by what you give.  -Winston Churchill

 If you want to touch the future, then touch a life. 

Volunteers are love in motion!

At the end of the day it’s not about what you have or even what you’ve accomplished… it’s about who you’ve lifted up, who you’ve made better. It’s about what you’ve given back. – Denzel Washington

I am only one, but I am one.  I cannot do everything, but I can do something.  And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I can do.  – Edward Everett Hale

What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for others and the world remains and is immortal.  –Albert Pike

The true meaning of life is to plant trees under whose shade you do not expect to sit.  –Nelson Henderson

We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone.  -Ronald Reagan

Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more. -Jackson Brown Jr.

If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in bed with a mosquito.  -Betty Reese

Volunteer. Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.  -Arthur Ashe

Volunteering is at the core of being a human. No one has made it through life without the help of someone else.  -Heather French Henry.

The world is hugged by the faithful arms of volunteers.”  -Terri Guillemets 

These quotes are great to share in team meetings, newsletters, text messages, etc. Share them with your volunteers and you will see the impact it will make in their life and ministering.

In many churches, you will find that the different departments do very little collaboration or serving together. 

Adult ministry does their own thing.

Student ministry does their own thing.

Children's ministry does their own thing.

This is understandable.  It can be difficult to work with other ministries in your church, if you are not intentional about reaching out to them.  And the departments are...to put it simple...busy.  Busy trying to build their volunteer team.  Busy planning and pulling off initiatives and big events.

But working in silos may not be the best way to accomplish meaningful ministry.  I personally believe we should push away from working in silos and actively look for ways to partner with other ministries in the church.

You should break down ministry silos because it makes for more efficient ministry.  Here's an example.  When children's ministries collaborate with student ministries, it makes the transition from elementary to middle school much easier. 

It helps you build relationships with the team members of other departments. You get to know their names and roles and how you can support each other. 

It helps you better understand what the other departments do.  You will discover how they support the vision of the church. You will be more open to partnering with them.  An easy example.  You are having a trunk and treat outreach event.  if you have connections with the adult ministry, you can ask them to help by bringing some cars and candy for the event.

You will better understand why they do what they do.  It will help you understand not just what they do, but why they do it.  You can then discover how their ministry helps make the vision of the church become a reality.

It can help eliminate the "us. vs. them" mentality.  It's easy to get so involved in your ministry, that you forget that you are in this together.  If you are not careful, you can began competing and disunity can develop.  This will end up taking down the team and fragmenting it.  It takes teamwork to make the dream work. 

Good communication is crucial.  I believe the most effective way to break down ministry silos is through good communication.  You can't leave other departments in the dark and then expect them to immediately be on board with your project at the last minute.  Communicate early.  Communicate clearly.  Communicate thoroughly.

What are you focused on as a ministry?  What you are focused on should align your ministry culture around a common vision. 

That's your starting point.  If you do not have a vision, then it's vital that you work with your team to create your vision statement and put it in writing for all to see.

This will help you create a reason for your team members to be connected to each other.  

A clear vision (what you are focused on) is the glue that will bring your team together and give them a clear sense of purpose.

This is especially true for Gen Z as they are starting to enter the workforce.  They want to know they are valued and they want to be connected to something bigger than just their individual job. 

It's important as a leader to regularly slow down and focus on what does and doesn't matter.  If you will be intentional about this, it will help you focus on what can take your ministry to the next level.  When you focus on what really does matter, it will have an immediate impact.

Here are some steps you can take to see this happen:

1. Create a common vision. 

2. Rally your team around the vision.

3. Stay focused on that vision.

4. Continue to point your team to the vision.  Remember, vision leaks. 

Leadership is not about driving people to complete their tasks.  Instead it's about providing your team members with the "why."  

This will keep your team working towards the same vision.