RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Many times someone who is leading one area of children's ministry is asked to step up and lead the entire children's ministry.  This is how I raised up children's ministry directors in a multi-site church.  When someone was leading either nursery, preschool or elementary well, I moved them into the director role at a new campus we were starting.

Perhaps you are currently leading a specific area of children's ministry, but feel God will eventually have you lead the entire children's ministry, either where you are now or in another ministry.  Or perhaps you've just been asked to lead an entire children's ministry.  Or perhaps you've been leading an entire children's ministry for awhile but need a reminder of what it takes to be effective.

In many aspects, leading an entire children's ministry is different than leading a specific area.  It takes a different level of leadership skills.  Let take a look at 7 keys to effectively leading an entire children's ministry.   

Key #1 - Shift from focusing on one area to focusing on the big picture.  You must shift your focus to the 30,000 foot view.  Someone has to fly high and have an eye on the big picture.  That's your job as the leader of the entire ministry.  If you are always down in the trenches, you won't be able to see down the road.  Whereas you were operating as a specialist, you must now operate as a generalist.

Key #2 - Know how to make good decisions based on what is best for the ministry as a whole.  You will be the key decision maker for the ministry.  But don't go at it alone.  Ask for advice.  Gather people around you that can help you make wise decisions.  Remember, in the multitude of counselors there is safety.  In the end, you will be the one who makes the final decision, but by listening to the right people you can make the best decision.  

Key #3 - Move from primarily being a doer to being an equipper.  In your previous role, you were an equipper to some extent or you won't have been asked to take a lead role.  But as the leader of the entire ministry, you must take your equipping to the next level.  You will need to spend the majority of your time investing in key leaders and live by what I call the law of the few.  Your goal is to reproduce yourself.  This is done by mentoring and pouring into the people who lead the specific areas of the ministry.

Key #4 - Become a problem fixer and conflict solver.  As the leader of the entire ministry, guess where problems and conflicts will land...on your desk.  You must become known as someone who can fix problems.  There will also be times when people on your team will have conflict.  You will be the one who mediates this using Biblical guidelines.  Read and learn all you can about navigating conflict.  Your people skills is one of the main growth areas you should concentrate on.

Key #5 - Know how to cast vision for the entire ministry.  You will guide the ministry forward, casting vision for where God wants the ministry to go.  This is one of the most important things you will do as the leader.  

Key #6 - Become a collaborator with the rest of the church.  Become a bridge to the other ministries in the church.  How can you partner with the men's ministry?  How can you partner with the women's ministry?  How can you collaborate with the student ministry to ensure a complete discipleship pathway from preschool to high school?  Plan the children's ministry calendar in collaboration with the other ministries.  You must constantly be thinking how you can see the children's ministry benefit the church as a whole.

Key #7 - Become good at communicating.  Communicating the vision.  Communicating the core values.  Communicating expectations.  Communicating upcoming events and happenings.  Communicating information to key leaders.  Communicating change so that it doesn't catch people by surprise but rather is a process.

If God has called you to lead the entire ministry, then He will give you everything you need to be effective as you seek Him.  Where He guides, He provides.  Walk in this confidence and focus on growing yourself in the above areas.

Your turn.  The floor is yours.  What are some other keys to leading an entire children's ministry?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.                   

Do you want people to follow your leadership?  Here's 12 essential leadership qualities you'll need to develop.  If you'd like a copy of this infograph, feel free to email me at dalehudsoncm2@gmail.com.

Great leaders don't think they're great.  They have a humble spirit that helps them see not how much they know, but how much they don't know.

You see...most leaders overate themselves.  They think they are better than they really are.  An interesting study was done about this.  Over 3,000 leaders were asked to rate their effectiveness as a leader.  The people they lead also rated their effectiveness. 

The leaders who overrated their leadership skills were underrated by those they lead.  The leaders who underrated their leadership skills were rated as above average by those they lead.  This finding is supported by a study by two Cornell psychologists who documented that incompetent leaders fail to recognize their own deficiencies and don't recognize other people's skills. 

I believe the first step to becoming a great leader is realizing you are not a great leader.  This opens the door for you to improve and develop as a leader. 

Some areas people tend to overrate themselves in as leaders are...

• Listening skills.  Most leaders are not as good as listeners as they think they are.  Once you acknowledge you need to grow in this area, you can become a better listener by increasing your desire to understand what people are saying and taking time to hear about the needs and concerns of others. 

• Giving credit to others.  When you shine the spotlight on others instead of yourself and recognize and praise others, it helps you become a better leader. 

• Collaboration.  Ineffective leaders are competitive.  Great leaders are collaborative.  Are you in competition for praise, resources and promotion?

• Investing in others.  Great leaders develop those around them.  They provide feedback that helps those they lead improve.  And they provide the feedback in an empowering, positive way instead of with criticism.

No matter where you are as a leader, you can always get better.  And it starts with accessing where you are now.  For a true assessment, ask those you lead to anonymously access where you are as a leader.  This takes courage, but will give you an honest perspective and help you see your blind spots. 

Remember, if you think you've arrived as a leader, you're right.  But where you've arrived is where you will stay.  Don't arrive...keep growing.

A toxic children's ministry leader is someone who abuses the leader/follower relationship.  He or she takes the team downhill and creates an environment that's unhealthy.

Do you have a toxic children's ministry leader?  Or...are you personally a toxic children's ministry leader?  Here's 10 ways to know..

A toxic children's ministry leader makes sure it's all about him or her.  
The ministry revolves around him or her.  He or she has an inflated view of his or her importance to the team.  Listen to this quote from a famous actor.

“As soon as enough people give you enough compliments and you’re wielding more power than you’ve ever had in your life, it’s not that you become arrogant or rude to people, but you get a false sense of your own importance and what you’ve accomplished.  You actually think you’ve altered the course of history.”  Leonardo DiCaprio

A toxic children's ministry leader doesn't use the words, "I'm sorry."
A toxic leader is full of pride and doesn't apologize when wrong.  Instead of taking ownership for mistakes or failures, he or she shifts the blame to someone else.  The buck doesn't stop with the toxic leader...the buck gets thrown in someone else's lap.  Unless...which leads us to the next sign.

A toxic children's ministry leader takes all the credit for successes.
He or she makes sure the spotlight shines on them.  He or she is quick to take credit and quick to shift blame when things go wrong.  He or she makes sure his or her name is in the headlines.  

A toxic children's ministry leader does all the talking at team meetings.
Commands replace collaboration.
Quick answers replace questions.
Tyranny replaces teamwork.
Ego replaces encouragement.
Intimidation replaces the interests of others.

A toxic children's ministry leader is condescending. 
He or she talks down to the team.  He or she is arrogant.  He or she flaunts their title instead of taking the towel of servant leadership that Jesus modeled.  He or she leads by position instead of passion.

A toxic children's ministry leader isn't flexible.
It's my way or the highway.  He or she chooses hills to die on that are really just mole hills.  He or she perpetuates programs or events that no longer work simply because they were his or her brainchild.

A toxic children's ministry leader micromanages.
He or she doesn't give people the freedom to lead.  He or she has to approve everything.  He or she is the leadership lid that is keeping the ministry from growing because he or she has to control everything.

A toxic children's ministry leader clones.
He or she gathers people around that are just like himself/herself.  There is no diversity or other personality types on the team.  He or she doesn't bring people on the team that compliment his or her weaknesses.  Which leads to the next sign.

A toxic children's ministry leader won't acknowledge his or her blind spots.
He or she doesn't have anyone asking them the hard questions.  When and if they are confronted about a blind spot, they refuse to acknowledge it and accuse the person of being disloyal or against them.

A toxic children's ministry leader corrects publicly.
When someone makes a mistake, a toxic leader uses word assassination in front of everyone else instead of talking with them privately.  Team members are left embarrassed and humiliated.

What are some overall signs a toxic leader is at the helm?

• low morale
• lots of team member turn over
• creativity from team members has stopped flowing
• declining productivity

Truth be told, we've all exhibited some of these traits at times.  I know I have and I've still got work to do in some of these areas.  I want to encourage you to take a hard look at these.  Are you toxic in any of these areas?   The first step to growing out of it is acknowledgement.

And if you're serving under a toxic leader, go to the person in a spirit of love and humility.  Hopefully God will use your words to help the person grow.  If they refuse, you have to decide to stay or leave.

If you want to be a successful Children's Ministry leader, here are 8 skills you need to develop.

Leadership
Successful Children's Ministry leaders do just that.  They lead.  Everything rises and falls on leadership.  They can lead not only children, but adults as well.  They are constantly improving as leaders by reading, listening to podcasts, watching other leaders, asking questions, and more. 

Collaboration
Successful Children's Ministry leaders are collaborators.  They don't plan, create, or make decisions alone.  They know the smartest person in the room is the room.  They know how to work with a team of people to produce the best ideas and solutions.

Team Building
Great Children's Ministry leaders are great team builders.  They know it's not what they can do, but it's what they can empower others to do.  They can enlist and equip volunteers to do the work of the ministry.  

Teachability 
They are very aware that they don't know it all and never will.  They have a humble, teachable spirit.  They ask for feedback.  They even learn from criticism.  They know their weaknesses and strive to grow in those areas.

Organization
They know how to organize.  And if it's not their strength, they either discipline themselves in this area or they gather people around them who can organize.  They and their team pay fantastic attention to details.  They go into meetings, programs, and events organized and prepared.

Communication
Great Children's Ministry leaders are good at communicating.  By communicating, I am not referring to speaking skills, but the ability to communicate information to staff, volunteers, and parents in a timely, proactive manner. 
 
People Skills 
They are good with people.  They know how to build solid relationships.  They know how to navigate a variety of social situations and are also good at resolving conflict.

Vision
Great Children's Ministry leaders are great vision casters.  They can rally people to a cause that is bigger than themselves.  They can share a vision that makes people's heart beat faster.

Okay.  It's your turn.  What other skills do you believe Children's Ministry leaders need?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.