RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

This past week I shared 4 sessions at the KidMin Conference in Chicago.

The sessions were about building a thriving volunteer team.  One of the most important aspects of children's ministry is volunteers.  Without them, there is no children's ministry.

Here are the handouts / notes from the sessions.  You can click on the links to download.

Session 1 - SELECT a Winning Team 

Session 2 - EQUIP Your Team

Session 3 - RELATE & VALIDATE Your Team

Session 4 - EMPOWER Your Team 

Personality Test

If there are other specific documents you would like, feel free to email me at dalehudsoncm2@gmail.com.

There's a great new resource for parents and kidmin leaders.  It's a book entitled, "Talk Now and Later" and I believe it can be a game changer for you and the parents in your ministry.

The book was written by Brian Dollar.  Brian is a leading voice in children's ministry and has an incredible heart to help parents become the spiritual leaders God intended for them to be.

In the book, Brian shares insights that will help parents navigate conversations with their children about tough topics such as self-image, death, sex, divorce, bullying, tragedy, making wise choices, money and more.

As a children's ministry leader, parents will often come to you for advice about having these conversations with their children.  This book will give you the answers you need to equip them and will also be a great resource you can place in their hands.

We are giving away a free copy of the book to one of our readers.  You can enter the drawing by emailing me at dalehudsoncm2@gmail.com.  We will announce the winner here next Monday, Sept. 7th.

You can also purchase the book here.  On a personal note, I have known Brian as a friend for years and his life, family and kids are a testimony to the words he has penned in the pages of this wonderful book.

No one has more influence in a child's life than his or her parents.

We know this and want to see parents become effective spiritual leaders for their children.  But how can you help today's busy parents get there?

Here's 5 keys to getting parents involved in their child's spiritual growth. 

Emphasize.
The starting point is simply to get it on their radar.  Most parents are so busy working, getting their kids to soccer practice and just trying to keep their family afloat, that they haven't thought much, if any, about their role as the spiritual leader of their kids.

You have the opportunity to plant this seed in their heart.  Communicate this to them.  "God has called you to be the primary spiritual influence in your child's life.  Your greatest responsibility as a parent is to help your child grow up to love and follow Jesus."

When you emphasize this, you will see their eyes light up as it dawns on them. 

Engage.
Set up key times when you speak into parent's lives about this.  Some of the key times you can engage them are parent/child dedication, when their child is transitioning into elementary school, when their child is ready to step across the line of faith and when their child is transitioning into middle school.  Attach a class to these spiritual milestones and teach them how they can lead their child spiritually.  These are key times in parent's lives when they will come looking for help.

Equip.
Get tools in parent's hands.  Tools such as devotionals they can do with their kids, prayer guides, take home papers with questions about the lesson, social media connections and more.

Encourage.
Most parents want to be the spiritual leader of their child, but they feel inadequate.  The reason they default to teachers and leaders at church is because they don't have the confidence to lead their child spiritually.  They think they have to be a Bible scholar or have their own spiritual walk totally together before they start.

Instead of brow beating them, encourage them.  Be their biggest fan and cheer them on.  Let them know they can do it.  Then celebrate the victories with them...no matter how small they may be.  Parents respond better to encouragement than guilt. 

Experiences.
Provide shared spiritual growth experiences that parents can participate in with their children.  Parents love doing things with their children.  Create special events such as a shared worship experience, a father-son camp out, a daddy-daughter night, a family camp, etc.  These experiences can be catalyst for getting parents involved in their child's spiritual growth.

Remember...when you reach a child, you change a life.  When you reach parents...you change the entire family.

Not knowing how to manage finances is a source of stress and even divorce in many families.

One of the best things you can do to help families is equip them in this area of their lives.

Last fall, we led thousands of our parents through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University.

We also gave them tips they can use to teach their kids about managing money.

Here are 3 great tips from Dave to help parents teach their kids about good financial practices.

Offer a commission to your kids instead of an allowance.  The word "allowance" means you make an allowance for someone because they are not able.  Instead, instill drive and dignity in your child's character and make sure they know they are able.

Kids do not develop those qualities when you hand them everything.  Life will not make allowance for you, but it will pay you what you earn.  It is crucial kids understand that money comes from work.  It doesn't come from Mom and Dad's pocket.  So, they need to be paid a commission.  When they work, they get paid.  If they don't work, they don't get paid.

Chores need to be very age appropriate.  When they are 6, they may help match socks in the laundry.  When they are 12, they may be expected to empty the dishwasher.  The older they become the more responsibility they can handle and the more chores they can take on, which in turn means making more money.

Teach children to spend wisely.  Have three envelopes for your kids.   The envelopes should be labeled Give, Save and Spend.  Have a payday once a week where you pay their commission and help them divide among the envelopes.

Teach children how to save.  When a kid saves money, it is not a mathematical event; it is a maturity event that gives dignity.  Help your kids set a goal and learn to delay pleasure while they save to reach that goal.

Children need to learn to save up for things they want so they experience the principle of delayed gratification.   There are a lot of great life lessons to learn through the process of saving.  Every teenager needs an emergency fund of $500.  This is really their cushion between them and life.  So if a tire goes flat, a cellphone breaks or any "teen-sized" emergency comes up, they have money in the bank to use and don't come running to their parents.  This gives them responsibility and a sense of independence as well as prepares them for when they leave home to have money set aside when emergencies happen.  

If parents can teach their kids how to steward money when they are young, it will set them up for a life-time of financial success.

As a children's ministry leader, our job is to equip parents and give them the tools they need for this.  A great resource to get into the hands of your parents is Dave's book - Smart Money Smart Kids: Raising the Next Generation to Win with Money.

Ephesians 4:12 tells us what success is in ministry.

"Their responsibility is to EQUIP God’s people to do His work and build up the church, the body of Christ."  

As leaders, our job is not to DO ministry.  Our job is to EQUIP people to do ministry.

Think about these questions...

• Can you be gone on a Sunday and the ministry will function fine without you?

• Do you teach all the lessons?

• Do you hesitate to give away parts of the ministry because people can't do it as well as you?

• Are you the only one caring for volunteers and scheduling them to serve?

• Are you doing all the shopping for supplies?

• Are you the children's ministry director, yet often find yourself in a specific classroom instead of supervising?

• Are you not able to attend adult worship because you can never leave the children's service?

• Do you currently have anyone else you are training to do your job?

• Do you often find yourself doing ministry work alone?

How are you doing?  If these questions left you feeling discouraged, don't be.  All it takes is shifting your thinking.  Begin seeing yourself as an equipper instead of a doer.  That's who God has called you to be and that's what He wants to empower you to do.  

Think about parts of the ministry that you're doing that you can give away.  Equip people and turn it over to them.  Then encourage and support them as they do the work of the ministry. 

Afraid you'll work yourself out of a job?  Don't worry...Pastors are looking for children's ministry leaders who are equippers.  If you can work yourself out of a job, you'll always have a job.   

Remember... 

This week I am posting the notes from 4 sessions I taught last week at the National KidMin Conference in Columbus.

Here are the notes from session 2.  In this session, I shared how to set volunteers up for success and equip them for ministry.  Below is also the personality test we shared in the session.

Check back tomorrow for the notes from session 3.

If you're looking for an online place to connect with other children's ministry leaders, grow in your ministry skills, and get great ideas for your ministry...CMCONNECT is one of the premier communities in the children's ministry world.

CMCONNECT was founded by my friend, Michael Chanley.  Michael has an incredible heart to encourage, equip, and empower children's ministry leaders.  God is using CMCONNECT to do just that in the lives of many.

Here are some of the things I love about CMCONNECT.

• I can ask questions and get advice from experienced leaders.
• I can be a part of specific groups that are in the same season or stage of ministry.
• I can read blog posts that give me fresh ideas and insight.
• I can stay up-to-date on upcoming events, conferences, gatherings, etc.
• I can connect with other children's ministry leaders around the world.

Head over to CMCONNECT and join us.  We're waiting for you. 

• 40% of adults regularly visit porn sites. 
• 69% of men ages 18 to 26 regularly visit porn sites.
• 30% of porn consumers are women. 
• Hollywood produces around 400 films a year.  The adult film industry produces more than 11,000.
• 47% of believers struggle with pornography.
• 40% of pastors struggle with pornography.

Children are also being harmed by the deceit.

• The average age children are exposed to pornography is 11 years old. 
• It normally happens online while they are doing homework.
• 90% of 8 to 16-year-olds have been to a porn site.
• According to a global survey of 19,000 parents, children as young as 6 are accessing porn.
• The largest group of porn users is 12 to 17-year-olds.

Pornography has serious effects on children.

One expert says, "There is evidence that the prevalence of pornography in the lives of children is far more significant than most adults realize.  Pornography is deforming the healthy development of children and is being used to exploit adolescents."

A study of teenagers found that boys who viewed pornography were significantly more likely  to sexually harass a peer or force someone to have sex.

In one study, 29 of 30 juvenile sex offenders had been exposed to X-rated magazines or videos.

In a study of arrested child pornography possessors, 40% were found to have sexually victimized children.  Children pornography has now become a $3 billion annual industry.

Approximately 30 million children have been sexually exploited in the last 30 years.  The average age of a trafficked victim is 12-14 years old.

As Children's Ministry Leaders, we must be proactive in helping parents protect their children from the onslaught.

This is a serious issue that goes beyond the stats and damages real families that are part of our ministries.  I've had several parents come to me heartbroken because they found their child viewing pornography.

What can we do?

Adults must lead the way in living a life that is pleasing to God.  Fathers especially must be the example and be committed to purity and holiness.

Equip parents with tools they can use to protect their children.  Provide a list of internet safety filters.  Teach them to set parameters such as no computer in the child's room, keeping the computer in a public place in the house, setting safety apps and measures on smart phones, etc.

Encourage parents to create a home environment where their children feel comfortable coming to them with questions and discussions about sex.  This will help children get their answers from them instead of media, friends at school, etc. 

Provide parents with tools to teach their children God's plan for sex.  When the child reaches an appropriate age, give parents the confidence to instruct their children by making tools like Passport to Purity available.  I used this tool to teach my children and it was very helpful.

Sex is part of God's plan for the marriage relationship and is a good thing inside His parameters.  The evil one, as usual, has tried to take something good and pervert it.  When parents teach their kids God's plan, they will be able to recognize the counterfeits of the enemy.

Here are 10 lies that children's ministry leaders believe at times.  I know by experience.  There have been times I've believed them.  Even to this day, I occasionally hear them whispered in my ear.

"Deeper" primarily means more head knowledge.
It's important for kids to know what the Bible says, but it's also just as important for kids to live what the Bible says.

Knowledge without life transformation leads to lifeless, passionless Christianity.  If you want to take kids deeper, challenge them to live out what you teach them.  

People don't want to serve.
People want to serve...if they can be part of something bigger than themselves.  People are drawn to vision not desperation.  If the majority of people say "no" when you ask them to serve, then take a hard look at how you are asking.  The problem may be "how" you are asking them to serve.

People will follow me because I am the Children's Leader.
People don't follow a title.  They follow someone they love and respect.  And this takes time.  Be a servant leader and invest in your volunteers.  Get some change in your pocket and over time, they will be drawn to your leadership.

A full calendar is an effective calendar.
The goal is not to be busy, but to be effective.  Less is more.  Don't fall into the trap of programming families to death.  You'll burn them and yourself out.

It's easier to do it myself than it is to train others to do it.
It might be easier at first, but in the long run it's not best.  You'll put a lid on your ministry by doing everything yourself.  Your job is to train volunteer leaders to do the work of the ministry.

My ministry is not as important as so and so's.
Don't listen to the comparison lie.  God designed a course just for you.  No one can run it but you.  He wants to bless you and your ministry, not a copy of someone else.

I can't afford to take my day off...I'm too busy and have too much to do.
Listening to this lie will take you down the road to burnout.  You can't afford NOT to take your day off.  Remember this is a marathon...not a sprint.  You'll get more done when you take your day off and stay refreshed rather than working on your day off and being tired from it.

What I do is not as important as what the student pastor or senior pastor does.
What you are doing is not "childcare."  You are ministering at the most critical time in a person's life.  You are ministering in the greatest harvest field...the hearts of children.  You're in good company.  Children's Ministry was a priority for Jesus.
 
The kids aren't getting it.  I'm not making a difference.
Yes, you are.  And yes...they are getting it.  Even when you don't think they are.  You'll see some fruit now, but you'll especially see it years from now when they are grown up and thank you for the impact you made in their lives. 

What I do on the weekends is more important than what parents do during the week. 
Sorry.  Don't mean to hurt your feelings...but no, it's not.  No one has more influence in a child's life than his or her parents.  If you really want to impact kid's lives, then equip their parents to lead them spiritually.

Your turn.  What are some other lies children's leaders believe?

Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

A recent report from Pew Research shows that 1 in 10 children are living with a grandparent.

Children younger than 6 are more likely than older children to live with or be cared for by a grandparent: 14% of those below age 6 are co-residing with a grandparent, and 6% are being cared for by a grandparent.

Among older children, about 9% are living with a grandparent, and 4% are being cared for primarily by a grandparent.

Children who are cared for primarily by a grandparent are more likely to be living below the poverty line (28% versus 17%) and have lower median household income ($36,000 versus $48,000) than children who are not being cared for primarily by a grandparent.

In 80% of the cases where children are living with a grandparent, at least one of the child’s parents is also in the household. 

Some 7 million grandparents are living with a grandchild—an increase of 22% from 2000, when fewer than 6 million grandparents were living with a grandchild.

The sharp increase in the number of grandchildren living with their grandparents, and in some cases being cared for by them, mirrors other trends in family and household structure that have emerged since 2007 as apparent strategies to gird against financial hardship.

What does this mean for children's ministry?

• We must be sensitive to the needs of children who are living with their grandparents.

• We must encourage and support grandparents who are raising their grandchildren.  Parenting one generation is a challenge, parenting two generations consecutively is a large task.

• We must continue to equip, encourage, and empower parents so they can successfully fulfill their role.

•  We must meet families where they are...including grandfamilies...and be the arms of Jesus wrapping around them.  

Okay.  Your turn.  Think about these questions and share your thoughts in the comment section below.

Do you have grandfamilies in your ministry?

What are some things you are doing to minister to grandparents?

How can we more effectively encourage, equip, and empower grandparents ?

Are you looking for tools and techniques that will take your children’s ministry to the next level...and impact kids' lives like never before?   I wrote this book with my friend, Scott Werner from Life Church, to share 100 sure-fire "how-tos:"

You'll discover how to...

• Equip volunteers to love serving and stay for the long haul
• Develop a dynamic ministry area that kids love and bring their friends to
• Rev up your vision and get your team excited
• And much, much more!

You can order your copy at this link.