RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Children are heavily influenced as they grow up.

Who influences them the most?

The first person(s) is FAMILY. 

No one has more influence in a child's life than his or her parents.

In a day when church is optional and when many parents assume the church will be the biggest spiritual influence in their child's life, we must help parents see God has called them to be the primary spiritual influence in their child's life.

This means if you want to influence children, then you must influence their parents.  This happens by being focused on parents.

Let's think about this together.  If parents are one of the biggest influences, why would we not put at least 50% of our efforts into influencing and equipping parents.

Let me encourage you to take a close look at this.  In a typical week, how much of your effort and focus is zoomed in on parents?   It would be very helpful for you to see what percentage of your time is spent influencing parents.  Track it for a month or so and see what your results are.

95% kids vs. 5% parents effort?

75% kids vs. 25% parents efforts?

65% kids vs. 35% parents efforts?

50% kids vs. 50% parents efforts?

We always talk about how some parents drop off their kids for us to do their job spiritually.  But perhaps we are doing the same thing?  We are "dropping off" parents at the adult ministry and asking them to train parents to lead their children spiritually.

As children's ministry leaders, we must step up and take the initiative in helping parents be the primary spiritual influence in their child's life.

What if you sat down with the adult ministry and asked to partner with them to influence parents?  What if you worked together to host parenting classes?  What if you partnered with adult ministry to offer financing and budgeting classes for parents?  What if you partnered with the women's ministry to host a mother and child event?  What if you partnered with the men's ministry to have a father/child camping trip?

What if you took the initiative and began hosting Milestone events for parents and their children?

How about having classes attached to the big spiritual moments in families' lives?

Some examples are...

Parent & Child Dedication

Bible Presentation

Faith commitment to follow Jesus

Baptism

Transition into middle school world

You can get great teaching content for parents and their children for the milestone events at this link.

The other big influence in a child's life is FRIENDS.  Especially close friends.  Friends are a powerful factor when it comes to making decisions.  Decisions that may be right or wrong.  Most kids who get into trouble are influenced to do so by their friends. 

Show me your child's friends and I can tell you what kind of person your child is.

Throughout Proverbs we see admonitions to have good friends.  Proverbs 13:20 says this.

'Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble."

Friends will use peer pressure to influence other children.   
This means we must encourage parents to know who their children are friends with.  Who their child spends time with.  Who their child is close to.  

As parents, we have the responsibility to help our children choose good friends.  That one choice can make or break which direction they go in life and how their relationship with Jesus is.  

So there you have it.  The 2 biggest influences in a kid's life.  

Takeaways:

We must influence parents so they in turn will influence their children.

We must stop thinking that it's adult ministry's job to equip and empower parents.  We must enter a partnership with adult ministry and lock arms to influence parents. 

What percentage of your time each week is used to directly influence parents?  How can you improve in this area?

We must have key milestone events in place that impact parents. 

We must help parents understand the importance of knowing and guiding who their child is close friends with.

The two biggest influences - FAMILY & FRIENDS.  The two crucial factors that influence which path a child takes in life.

There used to be a day when the battle for the next generation was in the high school years.  And that meant we had to focus on discipling older teens.

Then it appeared to drop down to middle school students.

Today, the battle has shifted even lower...down into the elementary years.

Today's pre-teens (tweens) are being targeted.   They are facing things that used to be approached in the older teen years.

An example is the upcoming movie "Good Boys."  Want to see what direction the movie is pushing pre-teens toward?  You can see a preview below.  It is especially heart breaking to see how the movie pushes sex toward pre-teens.

The movie follows three 12-year-olds through a journey involving a peeping Tom drone, club drugs trapped in a childproof bottle and nunchucks that are actually anal beads.  The children also curse throughout the film and engage in talk about sex.

Please join me in prayer and active ministry with today's pre-teens.  The next generation needs us to boldly proclaim God's truth and principles for living a life set apart to God. Now is not the time to be complacent.  We must reach and disciple those who follow behind us.  While the world may make sin appealing, we know the way to true peace, happiness and fulfillment is found in a relationship with Jesus.

Will you join me in praying for the next generation?  They are facing temptations and falsities that kids used to face in middle school and high school.

Join me in praying for parents as they seek to teach and train their children from an early age in the ways of God.  We must provide teaching and resources that will help and empower parents to have crucial conversations with their children.

We must serve in children's ministries so we can reach children for Jesus before they are entrapped by the snares of the one whose goal is to kill, steal and destroy the next generation. 

Watch this preview of the upcoming movie "Good Boys"and you will see an eye-opening example of the battle we are in for the next generation.

Warning: the preview contains cursing and sexual references.

A few months ago, I wrote about the impact sports is having on families.  It's one of the reasons families are not in church on Sunday.

In our culture, there used to be a day when Sunday was set aside as the Lord's day.  Games and other activities that pulled on families were scheduled on Saturday, but not on Sunday.

I'm all for sports and other activities that provide families with opportunities to spend time together.  I played Little League and football growing up.  But the games were held on a weekday or Saturday...not on Sunday.  Sunday was reserved for attending church.

Somewhere along the way, sports and other activities have gotten pushed over into Sunday.  Not all the time...but a lot of the time.  Enough that it can take kids and families away from church for weeks, and even months at a time, if they are on a "traveling team."

Parents are also busier than ever with their work and other activities.  In many cases, they may have to work on Saturday and when Sunday rolls around, they are exhausted and may choose to sleep in, do a family outing or watch online.

You can also see this reflected in families' attendance patterns.  Past expectations were to be in church 4 Sundays each month or at least 3 out of 4 Sundays.  Now the average family is in church 2 out of 4 weeks or even 1 out of 4 weeks.

Where is this taking us?  The truth is, if a child only gets 25% to 50% of the lessons at church, they are going to have a very shallow faith foundation.  I know they are supposed to be discipled at home first and foremost, but I believe the same attendance patterns for parents, leaves them ill-equipped to disciple their children.

You can't pass on what you don't have yourself.  It's hard to make the case for weekly attendance at church when you set a different example for your children.

I am reminded of this quote...

"I can't hear what you are saying, because your actions are speaking so loudly."

As a parent, it's hard to make the case for faithful church attendance, when your actions are saying otherwise.

We can be sure...kids are watching...they are picking up on what our priorities are...they are realizing what is important to us. 

Spiritually shallow parents raise spiritually shadow kids. 

If you're reading this as a children's ministry leader and feel discouraged...don't.  We have a great opportunity to make a difference in families' lives in these areas.

The starting point is to invest in and equip parents, so they can recognize what is really important when it comes to raising children.

Sports are important.   Academics are important.   Social interaction is important.  Financial security is important.

But nothing is more important than putting God in first place in your family.  When that happens, Sunday becomes a core part of who you are as a Christ-follower.  There is no question about attending church when Sunday rolls around.  It's who we are....part of the family of God.  It's what we do...honor God by meeting with other believers to worship Him.

I often quote the saying, "In the race to a child's heart, the first one there wins."

It's a great truth...but I think we should add another quote.

"In the race to a parent's heart, the first one there wins."

If we can effectively connect and disciple parents in their early days of parenting, we can help them establish a spiritual foundation for their kids and family.

One important time you can seize to do this is when families have a newborn.  You can get there first and pour into them, as they prepare to dedicate their baby to the Lord.  It is crucial that we have a class parents go through before they dedicate their child and themselves.

That's the reason we created the Parent & Child Dedication class.  It not only helps parents understand what the dedication is and is not, but it also shows parents how to establish the right priorities and equips them to lead their children spiritually.  Many churches are using this to impact young parents.  You can get more info. here about this resource. 

That's just one of the key times when you can help parents establish their priorities.  There are several other key times when you can influence parents.  You can get more info. at this link.

I want to challenge you to make influencing parents one of your top ministry goals.  When we do this, we can see families shift their focus back to what is most important.

Your turn.  How do you help families keep their priorities in order?  How can we do a better job of influencing parents?  Share your thoughts and inside with us in the comment section below.

To say today's families are busy, would be an understatement.  Parents are working longer hours and their children are involved in sports, music lessons and a host of other extra curricular activities.  Between very crowded calendars and today's pace of life, families have very little margin to just hang out and play with their children.

Bottom line - playtime for kids and their parents is getting squeezed out.

This is important to know because there is a strong link between families playing together and their happiness.  In a study conducted by Edelman Intelligence, it was revealed that 88% of families who play together for five or more hours a week are happier than those who don't.  But nearly 30% actually spend less than that on play. 

Kids want to have more free time so they can play with their parents.  81% of children who were surveyed said they want their parents to play more with them.  

Parents are in agreement with the benefits of playing with their children.  

95% believe play is essential for their child's well-being.  

82% think that children who play more will be more successful in future studies and work.  

83% of children agree that they learn better when play is involved. 

Parents.  Kids.  Your ministry strategy should be to impact both.

But how do you make that happen?

One approach is to put tools in parents' hands that will empower them to have discussions and activities with their children at home.  This is being done in a variety of ways, from new, cutting-edge apps to old school, hard copy, take home papers. 

That's a good strategy, in-spite of the fact that the majority of parents probably don't use the tools.

There's another strategy that I have personally seen make a huge impact on parents and their children.  It's not designed to replace take home tools, but it's a strategy where you can see the results happen right then and there.

What is it?  It's a strategy where you Partner with Parents at key milestones in their family's spiritual journey.  

Here's the deal.  There are windows of time when parents will welcome your input and influence in their life.  What are the opportunities?  There are five of them and they are for kids and parents to experience together.  Let's see when the five times are.

Opportunity #1 - 
Parent & Child Dedication

Nursery & Preschool Years

When a family has a new addition, it softens their heart, as they sense the tremendous responsibility they have as parents to raise their child to love Jesus.

In a recent article, I shared why it's so important to influence parents during this time frame.  And that's why I created a tool for this.  The Parent & Child Dedication class not only teaches parents what the dedication is, but also teaches them how to lead their children spiritually.  Practical steps are provided.

The kit for this also includes a format for the dedication service that will help you create a memorable experience for families.

Entering Elementary

Opportunity #2 - Bible Presentation & Celebration
When parents have a child getting ready to make the transition from preschool into elementary, they are wide open to your influence.

This kit includes everything you need to host a special event for parents and their children that centers around God's Word. 

The class uses interactive, hands on learning to teach kids (and parents) how we got the Bible, how to read it, learn from it and gives an overview of the big picture found in God's Word.

The class closes with parents presenting their children with a Bible, reading a blessing to their child and praying for their child.

Here's a promise.  You will see tears of joy and love between parents and their children.  Kids and parents will walk out with their love for God's Word and each other deeper.  You will literally be able to watch the impact happening and feel the spiritual growth that's taking place.

Elementary Age

Opportunity #3 - Starting Point
The third key time is when a child begins asking questions about beginning a relationship with Jesus.  Parents will be looking for help.  Starting Point is a class that parents can attend with their child to learn how to lead their child to Jesus.  Thousands of kids and parents have been through this class and seen their lives changed forever.  

With this class,  I promise you will see kids and parents begin a relationship with Jesus.  I believe this class is the best way to lead children and parents to Jesus - here's why.  Using this class strategy, I saw over 460 kids baptized in one year along with many of their parents.
 

Elementary Age

Opportunity #4 - Baptism for Kids  Kids will also tell their parents they want to be baptized.  After they have gone through Starting Point, you can invite them to the baptism class. 

This class helps kids and parents have picture of what baptism is and isn't.  Kids and parents will go into the baptistry waters with a solid understanding of the step they are taking.  You will not only see kids follow Jesus in baptism, but many of their parents as well.  I mentioned we had over 460 kids and many parents baptized in on year.  All of them had been through this class as well.

Entering Middle School

Opportunity #5 - Elementary Graduation Celebration  When kids are getting ready to move out of elementary and into middle school, it can be a stressful time for not only the kids, but their parents as well.  Parents are getting ready to have a teenager and many are freaking out at the prospect of their "baby" growing up.  How do we parent in the teen years?  How can I prepare my child for the middle school years?  How can I make sure my child has good friends?

These are all questions they are thinking about and they are wide open to your advice that is based on God's Word.

The graduation celebration is a class parents and kids attend together.  It includes fun, interactive teaching about how to thrive in the middle school years.  At the end of the class, you move into a time of celebration where parents read a blessing over their child.  There will be tears of joy and love during this time.  I promise you.  It is an experience that kids and parents remember for the rest of their life.

And it provides a smooth transition into middle school...which is a big move for many families.

Now that you've got an overview of this strategy, I want to get it into your hands.  That's why I've created a package deal that will save you a significant amount of money.  If you purchase all of the milestones separately, it would be $245.  But for a limited time, I'm making all 5 milestone events available for only $199.  

You'll get all 5 milestones sent to you on a USB drive.  Everything is editable and ready to customize for your ministry.  And you get to keep the USB drive as a gift.

If you'd like to see more info. on any of the classes, you can click on the picture captions above and it will take you to a page that has samples of the lesson, video samples, etc.  

You can order the package deal at this link.  Don't miss this great opportunity to truly influence the parents and their kids in your ministry. 

Several years ago, I was leading the children's ministry at a local church.

I had only been there about six months, when I began to notice something that caused me to make a change in how we did Parent & Child dedication.

Families would sign up online for the dedication, but the first face-to-face contact we had with them was the morning of the dedication.

Waiting with the parents for the dedication to begin, I listened to their conversations.  It became apparent that many of them had no idea what the dedication was about.  I realized we were missing a golden opportunity to not only share with the parents what the dedication was about, but to also use the dedication to equip parents to disciple their children. 

And so I started a Parent & Child Dedication class.  We begin requiring parents to go through the class before they dedicated their children.  The class was held two weeks before the actual dedication.

We were very intentional with the dedication curriculum to share 3 big things with the parents...

1. What the dedication meant.

2. How to be the primary spiritual leader for their child and what that entailed.

3. We shared the Gospel and invited parents who didn't know Jesus to begin a relationship with Him.

The response was amazing.  Parents begin to tell us what a difference the class had made in their lives.  They felt equipped with the practical discipleship tools we shared with them.  Many parents who didn't know Jesus, began a relationship with Him, because of the class.

If you do not currently host a class for parents before they dedicate their children, I want to encourage you to start it up.  You see, when parents have a baby or preschooler, they will open their hearts and listen to what you are sharing with them.  And you will find they are receptive to your teaching and instruction during this time.

One of the most important times to connect with parents is when they are ready to dedicate their child to the Lord.  And if you can invest these parents, while their children are young, you can set them up for success as their child's spiritual leader.

I am excited to announce that the Parent & Child Dedication Class is now available for your ministry.  If you are not hosting a class for parents before your dedications, now is the time to start.  It is critical to have a clear strategy and plan to equip parents during this time.  Or perhaps you currently have a class, but need a fresh, exciting curriculum for it.

This curriculum kit will jump start your child dedication and make it a memorable, life-changing experience for the parents in your ministry. 

As an added bonus, you'll also get two sample child dedication services you can use at the dedication.  Their are two options - one during a weekend service - and another one that can be done outside of a weekend service, in case you do your dedication as a separate event. 

Here are more details...

Parent & Child Dedication includes...

• Teacher's guide (over 40 pages of teaching notes and insight)

• Media presentation files with teaching videos, graphics and music - ready to drop into any presentation software such as PowerPoint, Pro Presenter, Media Shout, Key Note, etc.

• Full color, ready-to-print handbook for parents.

• Ready-to-print resources for parents such as prayer calendars and prayer bookmarks. 

• Class is fun, interactive and keeps parents engaged. 

• Lots of great discussion starters and thought provoking insight. 

• Includes teaching for single parents.

As mentioned, also included is the Parent & Child Dedication Celebration.  Includes...

• A carefully planned format that will help you impact families and create a memorable experience that they'll cherish for the rest of their lives. 

• Dedication certificate template - ready to add your names and print.

• Detailed notes and layout to help you pull off an excellent dedication celebration.

• Media presentation with teaching notes, graphics and music.

• Invitation card template - so families can invite their unchurched friends, neighbors, co-workers and family.

Everything is editable and can be customized to fit your ministry.  And it's available right now as an instant download.  You can get it at this link.  You get both the class and the celebration resources together.

George Barna said, "In the race to a child's heart, the first one there wins."  It is true.  And that's why this Child Dedication resource is so important.  It can be a catalyst for the children and families in your church and community.

Below are some samples from the class.  Check them out for a preview.

Click here to see a sample of the Teacher's notes for the Class: 

Click here to see a sample of the parent handbook:
 
Click here to see a sample of one of the interactive games that parents play:
 
Below are some sample videos from the class.  Click the arrow to watch them full screen.

In the last 20ish years, a movement has risen that focuses on encouraging and equipping parents to disciple their children.

This is a good thing.  We know no one has more influence in a child's life than his or her parents.  And Scripture makes it clear that parents are to pass on their faith to their children.

But, I wonder in the push to get parents to disciple their children, if we have forgotten something.

You can't pass on something you don't first have yourself.

Deuteronomy 6, which is a mantra passage for the movement,says this in verse 7...

Write these commandments that I’ve given you today on your hearts. Get them inside of you and then get them inside your children. (MSG)

Notice that it says parents must first know God's Word themselves if they are going to pass it along to their children.

In the majority of cases, I'm afraid we haven't focused enough on teaching parents God's Word, so they in return, can teach it to their children.  

Want proof of this?

A recent survey among church-going parents revealed that 51% do not know what the term "the Great Commission" means. 

25% say it does ring a bell, though they can't remember what it is.

6% say they are not sure if they have ever heard the term before.

Let's narrow that down to today's parents....who are Gen Xer's and Millennials.

Only 17% of church-going Gen Xer's know the Great Commission.

Only 10% of church-going Millennials know the Great Commission.

Unless something changes, just a small, small percentage of Gen Z will even know Christ's last command and marching orders for us as believers.

Think about it.  Only 5-6% of the next generation of church-going kids will know the Great Commission. 

"If we produce parents who have a weak, water-downed, shallow faith, then that is what they will pass onto their children."

So what needs to change?

The church has to get serious about discipling parents, so they in return can disciple their children.

What are some steps we can take to see this happen?

Focus on parents first.  It's time we get serious about producing fully devoted, Christ-following parents who are grounded in God's Word.  Our teaching and preaching must be balanced with information and application, so parents have a solid knowledge and understanding of God's Word and how to live according to His purposes.

This must happen in the worship service, in adult small groups, in men's ministry, in women's ministry and in every other format where adult discipleship is supposed to happen.

This will give parents the knowledge and tools they need to disciple their children and see them grow up to know Jesus and His Word.

Target parents at key milestones.  Do you have baby dedication?  If you just call it "baby dedication" or "child dedication," then change it to "Parent & Child Dedication."

Several years ago, I had started a new role as children's pastor at a large church.  At the time, the church had child dedication 2 to 3 times a year.  Parents registered online, but there was no class or meeting with the parents prior to the dedication.  We simply met the parents in the auditorium the morning of the dedication.

After going through a few of the dedications, it became clear to me that many of the parents had no idea what the dedication was about.  And it wasn't their fault.  We simply weren't taking the opportunity to teach them at this important time in their life.

And so, I started a class that parents were required to go through before they dedicated their child.  And in that class, we not only taught parents what the dedication was about, but we also took time to give them a Biblical foundation for parenting and a strategy to disciple their children.

We saw great fruit come out of this.

There are key times, milestones, in a family's journey, where they are very open to your input and influence.  These are times, that at first glance, appear to be focused on their children.  But if you will be intentional about also focusing on parents during these times, you can make a huge spiritual impact in the lives of parents as well.  Don't miss these opportunities to teach and disciple them.

Here are some of the key times and resources available to help you implement this.  These are proven resources that have been used to disciple thousands of parents in a local church setting.

• Parent & Child Dedication - Parent & Child Dedication class and strategy will be available starting May 20th at this link.

• Bible Presentation & Celebration - as kids transition into elementary school, you can use this resource to teach not only them, but their parents as well, foundational truths about the Bible and how to make it a priority in their life.  

• Faith Commitment - when a child is asking about beginning a relationship with Jesus - you can use the Starting Point class and strategy to reach not only the children, but their parents as well.

• Baptism - when a child is asking about being baptized - you can use the Baptism Class curriculum to not only teach children what baptism is, but their parents as well.  Do this and you'll not only see kids baptized on a regular basis, but parents as well. 

• Elementary Graduation & Celebration - when kids are transitioning into middle school, you can use this resource to not only prepare them for middle school, but also their parents for parenting during the middle school years.  Key parenting and discipleship strategies are taught.

Partner with adult ministry.  Rather than being a silo that only impacts children, reach out to the adult ministry in your church and partner with them to disciple parents.  This could look like you teaching an adult Bible study, leading a small group of parents, collaborating with your pastor for a teaching series about family, etc. 

Take the initiative in discipling parents.  Often in children's ministry, we have the mindset that it's our job to disciple children and it's adult ministries' job to disciple parents.  Change your thinking and take the initiative in discipling parents.  Host a parenting seminar.  Offer family discipleship classes.  Create opportunities for parents and kids to serve together.  Include discipleship questions for kids to ask their parents in your take home materials.

I mentioned earlier the verse in Deuteronomy where Moses urges parents to get God's Word in them first, so they can in return, get it in their children.  There's a great example of this found in 2 Timothy 1:5.  It says this...

I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you.

If we are going to see the faith passed onto the next generation, we must first see parents filled with it.

Need some help parenting?  If you have an Amazon Echo with Alexa, the digital voice assistant, you may be in luck.

There's a new "Magic Word" function that you can turn on which will tell kids to use the word "please" when they ask for something.  The function can also be used to reinforce positive behavior.

Amazon has also introduced children's content for the Echo that includes 300 audio books for kids, as well as skills designed for kids by Nickelodeon, Disney and National Geographic.

Need help getting the kids out of bed?  Digital parent to the rescue.

Need kids to be reminded to study for a test?  Digital parent to the rescue.

Want to teach your child how to be polite?  Digital parent to the rescue.

Want to see your child improve in their history lessons?  Digital parent to the rescue.

Need someone to read a bedtime story to your child?  Digital parent to the rescue.

Want to monitor what your child is watching and listening to?  Digital parent to the rescue. 

The truth is no app, computer, digitally generated voice or "futuristic robot" can take the place of a parent. 

God has placed the guidance, training, spiritual formation and molding of children in the hands of their parents.

I often remind parents of this truth:  No one has more influence in the life of a child than his or her parents. 

Parents are told this in God's Word.

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.  Ephesians 6:4

Parents are to...

Treat their children right (do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them).

Train their children (bring them up with the discipline).

Teach their children (bring them up with the instruction).

One of the most important things we can do is equip parents to raise their children to love Jesus.  When we influence the greatest influencers (parents), we can then truly influence their children through them.

This means we should teach parents how to treat their children right.  Most parents, by default, parent the way they were parented....bad parenting traits included.  Provide parents with the tools and resources they need to identify bad parenting habits they want to correct.  Show parents how they can build a great relationship with their child.

We should also teach parents how to train their children.  This includes how to discipline, how to train their kids to make wise decisions, how to manage money, etc.

And we should equip parents with the Biblical knowledge they need to teach their children the ways of God.  Giving them the understanding they need to pass on a Christian worldview to their children.

Do these 3 things and you will set parents up for success as they guide their children.

Let me ask you a question.  Do you have a plan in place to equip parents?  Do you have a strategy to influence them?

Here are some articles that can help you develop and implement a strategy to influence the parents in your ministry.

Helping parents prepare their children for the transition from elementary to middle school.

Helping parents see the importance of consistent church attendance.

Helping parents teach their children about managing money.

Equipping parents to lead their children to faith in Christ.

Equipping parents to raise their children to follow Jesus for a lifetime.

Anyone who says parenting is easy has never been one.  Parents are looking for help.  That's one reason many of them are excited about something as simple as a digital voice that will help them teach their children to say "please."

God has placed you in a unique position as a ministry leader.  You can be a voice speaking into the lives of parents, helping them step up to be the parent God is calling them to be.

Gen Z is growing up immersed in technology.  It's an integral part of their lives.  How integral?  Consider these stats.

• 96% own a smartphone.

• 68% own a tablet.

• 85% use social media to learn about new products.

• 50% will be connected online for 10 hours a day.

• They interact with up to 5 screens a day. 

• 1/3 watch at least one hour of online video a day.

You could go as far as to say Gen Z is addicted to technology because it impacts them emotionally.  80% feel distressed when kept away from their personal electronic devices.  Try asking Gen Z to pull away from their smartphone for an extended time and they will become anxious and upset.

Paradigm Malibu is a treatment facility on the Pacific Coast.  It started out treating people with classic drug and alcohol addictions.  Now it has developed a program specifically for Gen Z kids who have device-use disorders.  Kids are brought to the center because extreme use of technology has led to serious behavioral disorders.  In some cases, kids have even threatened to kill themselves when told their internet may be cut off.

Several of these type rehabs have been opened across the country to treat Gen Z kids whose lives have become unmanageable because of technology.

If you are a parent whose child has a smartphone, you understand the pull that technology has.  Gen Z feels the pressure to constantly be connected, fearing they will miss out on the latest post, like, comment, picture or video.  They check their smartphones hundreds of times a day.  This can lead to little time for anything else.

Technology has definitely changed the way kids grow up.  For many of Gen Z, they communicate more digitally than they do in person.  Their smartphone is an extension of their hand and their social media life is more important than their real life.

Dr. Michael Rich, Associate Professor of Pediatrics at Harvard Medical School said,  "You can go by any playground at recess and the kids are all staring at their smartphones."

Dr. Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, says it’s very clear that overuse of digital media is linked to mental health issues and unhappiness.  Her research has found that Gen Z kids who spend three hours a day or more using electronic devices are 35% more likely to have a risk factor for suicide than those who spend less than an hour with them — while those who spend five or more hours are 71% more likely to have a suicide risk factor.

Gen Z's bent toward technology addiction is not something to take lightly.  

As children's and family ministry leaders, it's important that we provide parents with tools they can use to guide their Gen Z children in the digital world they are growing up in.

One tool that has just been released is a documentary produced by Kirk Cameron, entitled "Connect."  Kirk has 6 Gen Z kids of his own, so he fully understands the challenges of parenting in a digital world.  He created the film to help parents find hope, wisdom and strength in this area.

Kirk says, “God-fearing parents can find confidence and guidance when it comes to the challenges of parenting in our technology-driven world, knowing that God has fully equipped us for the sacred calling as a parent.  We have resources to prepare our children as they learn their purpose and identity, and responsibly use technology to understand family, friends, God and the world around them.”  

The film was recently in theaters and should be available for home viewing very soon.  Here is the trailer.



While technology, smartphones and social media can be great tools to share the Gospel, invite people to church, advance the Kingdom of God and connect with families, like anything else, when it begins to overtake and dominate our lives, it can be detrimental.  Especially in the lives of children and students who don't have the maturity yet to navigate this on their own. 

It is vital that we keep the conversation going and look for ways to help Gen Z find balance in their use of technology.  

Your turn.  The floor is yours.  What trends are you seeing with Gen Z and their use of technology?  What other tools can we make available for the parents of Gen Z kids to help them navigate this challenge?  I'd love to hear your thoughts, insights and comments below. 

Why do 13% of Gen Z kids say they are atheists?

Why do 37% of Gen Z kids say you can't know for sure if God is real?

Why do 58% of Gen Z kids say there is more than one way to God?

Why did 78% of nones (those who claim no religion) grow up in church?

Why do so many kids get to college and walk away from the faith?

All of this points to one burning question that they church must face.

Why does the next generation not know that Christianity is true?

Which leads to the answer that the church must face.

The next generation doesn't know Christianity is true, because we haven't been showing them that Christianity is true.

Gen Z may not always know how to verbalize it or even have the courage to say it.  But internally, they desperately want you to show them evidence that what you are telling them about Christianity is true.

46% of Gen Z kids say they need factual evidence to support their beliefs.

49% of Gen Z kids say the church seems to reject much of what science tells us about the world.

27% of Gen Z kids say the church is not a safe place to express doubts.

24% of Gen Z kids say the teaching they are exposed to is shallow.

If the church wants to reach the next generation...if the church wants to stop the exodus of kids walking away from the faith...if the church wants to see kids have a faith that can withstand the reasoning of agnostics and atheists...then we must show them the factual foundation that the faith is built upon.

The Bible is very clear about this.  

But in your hearts sanctify Christ as Lord. Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you.         -I Peter 3:15  

We cannot leave kids spiritually defenseless and then just hope they will grow up to follow Jesus.

Teaching kids to be "kind to each other" is a good thing, but it won't equip kids to know why they believe Jesus is the Son of God.

Teaching kids to "be responsible" is a good thing, but it won't equip kids to be able to articulate the proof of Jesus' resurrection.

Teaching kids to "be fair with others" is a noble undertaking, but it won't equip them to answer questions like "How can a fair God allow innocent children to starve?"
 
Helping kids memorize the books of the Bible is great, but it won't equip them to defend why they believe those books are true.

Showing kids the 10 commandments is important, but it won't equip them to defend why they believe there is a God who gave us the 10 commandments.

I'm afraid, in many cases, we are spending the little time we have on Sundays, teaching kids general character traits that they already hear at school and other places like the boy scouts.  Character traits that are not going to sustain their faith when it is attacked.  "Treating your neighbor right" is not going to sustain a child's faith one day when he or she is hearing a professor say that it's ludicrous to believe God created the world based on scientific evidence.
  
Yes, it's important to teach kids things like the fruits of the Spirit.  But we must also help them put on the "whole armor" of God, so they can withstand the attacks of the enemy.  If we don't give them the shield of faith...a solid, grounded, doctrine infused faith...how will they withstand the attacks?

Couple shallow teaching and the church attendance patterns of today's families and the result is Gen Z having a very weak faith that tumbles when questioned at a deeper level.

I hear something blowing in the wind.  It's the words "It's the parent's job to teach their children these things."  Yes...that is true.  But it is also the church's job to teach children how to be able to do I Peter 3:15.  In fact, it's the church's job to teach parents how to teach their children to be able to live out 1 Peter 3:15.

Whether it's teaching children or it's teaching parents how to teach their children, it's the church's responsibility to disciple and equip believers. 

I'm afraid, we've gotten so caught up with "family ministry" that at times, we've lost sight of the role of the church in teaching and equipping.  You see, parents can't teach their children how to defend their faith, if they don't first know how to defend the faith themselves.

Many of the young, Millennial parents we are asking to lead their children spiritually, were raised on the shallow teaching that we fed them and so they don't have the knowledge to equip their own children about what we believe.  If we are really serious about family ministry, then I believe it's time we start equipping parents to be able to defend their faith, so they in return, can teach their children how to defend their faith.

There is something else blowing in the wind.  The tune is "It's all about relationships."  This tune says if a child has someone at church who knows their name and cares about them, they will grow up to follow Jesus for a lifetime.

That's true...but not completely true.  A child can have great relationships growing up in church, but those relationships will probably not be there when they are sitting in a college classroom one day, hearing about why the Bible is not true and evolution is.  Those relationships will not be there one day, when they are in a dorm room, being asked the hard questions.  Those relationships will not be there one day, when they decide to watch a YouTube video from an intellectually smooth atheist.

It takes providing kids with meaningful relationships and rationale if they are going to follow Jesus for a lifetime.  It's like an airplane.  Takes both wings to fly.  I'm afraid at times, we've gotten so focused on the relational aspect that we've neglected to show them why it's rational to believe you can have a relationship with Jesus.

Can you hear this blowing in the wind as well?  The thought pattern that says we live by faith, so there's no need to examine the evidence.  Or that faith is necessary to fill the gaps when there is lack of tangible evidence.

Hebrews 11:1 is often used to justify this way of thinking.  It says "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

But if you look closer, the word "substance" means "a substructure or foundation."  The word "evidence" means "a proof or by which a thing is proved or tested."  Our faith should not be a blind faith, but a faith that is based on a tested foundation. 

The Hebrews 11 passage is very relevant in this discussion.  It is in the context of the origin of the universe.  Verse 3 says, "through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the Word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of things which do appear."

A solid Biblical foundation emerges from observation and working through all available evidence and facts.  Gen Z is growing up in a post-Christian culture.  We cannot assume they will believe the Bible just because we tell them to.  We must take them back to the basics and show them why those basics are trustworthy.

And here's the good news.  If we take time to help kids weigh the evidence, it will point them to the fact that there is a Creator. 

The complex design of our universe, the intricacies of the human body, the position of the earth to the sun and a vast array of other evidence points to the fact that God is real and the Bible is true.  Instead of having kids just take our word for it, we have to be more strategic in letting kids examine the evidence for themselves.

We've been on a downward faith slide for decades in our country.  With each new generation, we are seeing more and more people say they have no religion.  With each new generation, we are seeing more kids grow up and walk away from their faith.  What we're doing is simply not working.  It's time for a wake up call.

This is not about HOW we teach.  This is not about methods or styles of ministry.  Read my articles and you'll quickly see I'm all about kids having fun at church, kids having deep relational connections and parents leading their children spiritually.  

This is about WHAT we are teaching kids.  This is about WHAT we are equipping parents to teach their children.  

Our job as Christian leaders and parents is to give kids the tools they need to build a faith that will last.  What tools are we placing in their spiritual tool boxes?  They need those tools now and believe me...even more later in life, as their faith is tested.

We only have a short window of time to help kids get a solid faith foundation.  We only have a short window of time to give parents the tools they need to provide their children with a faith that can withstand attack. 

What will you do with this window of time?  How about...

Helping kids see for themselves the evidence for why we believe God created the earth.

Helping kids grapple with the evidence of Jesus' resurrection.

Letting kids walk through the historical evidence for the Bible being God's Word.

Equipping parents to show their children why Jesus' claim to be the only way to God is true.

Allowing kids to face the hard questions and work through them now, so they can get faith-sustaining answers.

Think about it.

Change what you are teaching if needed.

Evaluate what you are placing in the hands of parents to equip their children.

Jude 1:3 says this.

Dear friends, I had been eagerly planning to write to you about the salvation we all share. But now I find that I must write about something else, urging you to defend the faith that God has entrusted once for all time to His holy people.

Gen Z can't defend the faith if they don't know the doctrines and tenets of the faith.  Gen Z can't defend the faith if they don't know why those doctrines and tenets are true. 

And you will notice that it says "the" faith.  Gen Z is immersed in a culture that elevates tolerance to a level that says "all faiths lead to the same place and if you say otherwise, you are an intolerant bigot."

The faith we are called to teach Gen Z says there is only one way to God and that is through Jesus Christ.  We must equip Gen Z to be able to defend this faith.  For many churches, this is only going to happen if they change the scope and sequence of what they are teaching Gen Z and their parents.

If Gen Z and the generations to follow are going to know and believe that Christianity is true, it will be because you and I shared with them WHY it is true.  

If you are looking for resources to help teach Gen Z why we can know the Bible is true, then the Prankster series is just what you need.   It takes kids on a deep dive into why the Bible is the Word of God and why you can trust it.  You can see more at this link. 

If you are looking for a resource to help kids examine the evidence of Jesus' resurrection, then the CSI (Christ Scene Investigation) lesson is a great tool.  You can get more info. at this link.

Did you know that children, ages 4 to 14, received an average of $454 in allowance over the course of last year?  This is $8.74 a week.  In addition, many received cash gifts for birthdays and holidays.

Here's another interesting stat.  A 2013 study by the University of Cambridge found that people form many of their financial habits by the age of 7. 


You can get more information and order this series at this link.

In a day when we are seeing an alarming number of kids walking away from the faith they grew up in, the good news is there are still many, many kids who are serving Jesus for a lifetime.

The question we often ponder is "What makes the difference?"  What are the factors, seen and unseen, that contribute to a child engaging in a genuine relationship with Jesus and then go on to passionately follow Him as an adult?

Some of the factors that people have identified are...

• They had a clear salvation experience.

• They had friends who loved Jesus. 

• They learned to spend time with Jesus through prayer and reading the Bible.

• They had caring leaders at church who knew them personally and invested in them. 

• They were able to avoid getting trapped in major temptations like premarital sex, drugs, alcoholism, etc. in their teenager years.

While all of these are important factors, there is another factor that I believe carries the most impact.  What is it you ask?

Parental influence. 

You see, no one has more influence in a child's life than his or her parents.  Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults normally have parents who influenced them to do so. 

Throughout Scripture, we see examples of children who were influenced by their parents to follow God. 

• Hannah influenced her son, Samuel.

• Abraham influenced his son, Isaac.

• Mordecai influenced his adopted daughter, Esther.

• Eunice influenced her son, Timothy.  Timothy was also influenced by his grandmother, Lois.

• Jochebed influenced her son, Moses.

• David influenced his son, Solomon.

We also see examples of great Christian leaders who were influenced by their parents to follow Jesus.

• Melvin Maxwell influenced his son, John.

• Crawford Loritts influenced his son, Bryan.

• Billy Graham influenced his son, Franklin and his daughter, Anne.

• Tony Evans influenced his daughter, Priscilla.

• Susanna Wesley influenced her sons, Charles and John.

• Charles Stanley influenced his son, Andy. 

• Ed Young Sr. influenced his son, Ed Jr. 

The National Study of Youth and Religion backs this up as well.  The study shows that parents are far and away the major influence in kids keeping their faith into their adulthood.  Just 1% of teens ages 15 to 17 raised by parents who attached little importance to religion were highly religious in their mid-to-late 20s.  The study compared this to children who were raised by parents who talked about faith at home, attached great importance to their beliefs and were active in their congregations.  82% of these kids grew up to be religiously active as young adults.

No other conceivable causal influence ... comes remotely close to matching the influence of parents on the religious faith and practices of youth.  Parents just dominate.   -Christian Smith, Yale University

What are some of the key things that parents do whose kids grow up to follow Jesus as adults?  Let's look at 7 of them.

Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults have parents who prayed with them at home.  They prayed with them at meal time.  They prayed with them at bedtime.  They prayed with them before they left for school.  They prayed with them in times of crisis.  They prayed with them about important decisions.

I mentioned Susanna Wesley earlier.  Her sons, John and Charles, grew up to make a major impact for Christ.  They were the founders of the Methodist church.  Susanna's husband, shared this story about her influence on her children through prayer.

“I opened the door and was surprised to find none of the children about the hall.  Going quietly upstairs, I heard my wife’s voice.  She was engaged in prayer with the children; I heard her pray for them one by one by name.  She came to Charles, and specially prayed for him, for he was of high spirit and daring temper.  I listened till she had ended her prayer, and I felt and said, ‘Lord, I will go on with Thy work. The children will be cared for.’”

Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults have parents who read God's word with them at home.  The Bible didn't sit on the dashboard of the car all week collecting dust or it didn't remain an unopened app.  It was used during the week.

Eunice and Lois, who raised Timothy, infused Scripture into his life.  Look what it says about this in the New Testament.

You have been taught the holy Scriptures from childhood, and they have given you the wisdom to receive the salvation that comes by trusting in Christ Jesus. 2 Timothy 3:15

William Borden, the heir of the Borden milk company fortune and missionary, had a mother who made reading the Bible with her children a priority in their home.  Look what is recorded about this.

"Mary responded to William’s zeal by putting even greater effort into teaching and training her son along with her other children. It became her habit to gather the children for Bible lessons. During one of these lessons, she asked them to write down what they would like to be when they grow up. William’s answer showed both childlike enthusiasm and remarkable maturity: 'I want to be an honest man when I grow up, a true and loving and kind and faithful man.'  God would bless and grant this desire."

Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults have parents who take them to church consistently.  We live in a day when parents are taking their children to church less frequently.  The average family who attends church only shows up once every three to four weeks.  Sports, activities, weekend trips and the general busyness of life creeps in and crowds out many families' consistent church attendance.  But this is not the case for families whose kids grow up to love Jesus.  They make attending church the top priority of their weekend.

Research from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health backs this up.  It found that children of parents who believe that religion is very important and display their commitment by attending services are most likely to transmit religiosity to their children.  Teens whose parents attended worship with them are especially likely to be religiously active as young adults. 

Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults have parents who create a place where questions are welcomed and encouraged.  One of the strongest factors associated with kids keeping their faith as young adults is having parents who talk about religion and spirituality at home.

Parents welcome dialogue about the hard questions kids need to work through as they are grappling with faith and making it their own.  In fact, they initiate faith conversations to help prepare their kids for the questions, temptations and cultural pressures they will face as they grow up.  They also look for teachable moments that can spark faith talk in the course of every day life.

Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults have parents who emphasize relationship over rules.  This doesn't mean they don't put boundaries and consequences in place.  But what it does mean is they focus more on helping their kids fall in love with Jesus and having a personal, growing relationship with Him.  As they do this, their kids begin to obey and "keep the rules" not out of fear or duty, but out of a heart of love and surrender to Jesus' will for their life.

Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults have parents who live authentically.  Simply put.  Their parents are the real deal.  They practice what they preach.  They live at home just like they live at church.

This doesn't mean the parents are perfect.  Yes, they make mistakes along the way.  But when they do, they humbly admit it and seek forgiveness.

Kids can sniff out hypocrisy.  And when they know what their parents are saying doesn't match up with what they are doing, it damages their faith and they can become disillusioned with following Jesus. 

Kids don't always do what their parents say, but they never fail to imitate who they really are.

I mentioned Priscilla Shirer earlier.  She is the daughter of Pastor Tony Evans.  She is a Christian author, motivational speaker, actress and Christian evangelist.  Look what she says about how her parents influenced her as she was growing up.

"Daddy and Mommy constructed a bubble of sorts for us to live in. Home life was padded with instruction in God’s Word, discipline in life lessons (like saving and tithing our money), manners ('No elbows on the table!') and good work ethics.  We had lots of fun with our friends, but we did it mostly at our home instead of theirs, my parents careful about the kinds of influences we might encounter somewhere else.  Sure, that meant taking on the exhausting work of having a dozen sweaty teenagers track muddy prints in and out of the kitchen for snacks and Kool-Aid during games of basketball and ping-pong.  But our parents did it for a reason.  And they did it for us.

When we weren’t at home, we were at church or at school—a simple, quaint, Christian school that reinforced the lessons taught at home.  Public school came later, during the high school years.  But even then, my parents were very involved in our studies and our friendships.  Watching.  Stewarding.  Shepherding.

They just seemed to have this knowing inside—a deep, inner consciousness about the culture.  They knew their job as parents couldn’t be passive.  They knew they needed to fight aggressively against the low values and standards of the common crowd, the crude lasciviousness that was trying to creep into our minds and hearts, our attitudes and opinions, our actions and emotions."

What a great example of being intentional about influencing your children through words, actions and example.

Kids who grow up to follow Jesus as adults have parents who actively serve and involve their children in serving.  Research shows that kids who get involved in serving are much more likely to carry their faith into adulthood.  There is something about serving that activates a child's faith and increases their passion for the things of God.  When a child understands that God has a purpose for their life and that they can be used of God to impact others for the kingdom, he/she engages wholeheartedly. 

And where do kids get a heart for serving?  From their parents.  When they see their parents serving others, it inspires them to serve.  One of the best things churches can do is provide opportunities for kids and their parents to serve together.

As church leaders, we must turn our primary focus to helping parents do these seven things.  Especially parents who have younger children.  After age 12, the role of parents can begin to recede, as kids are influenced more heavily by peers, media, music, social media and the culture as a whole.

We must help parents realize the key role they play in transferring faith to their children by encouraging, equipping and empowering them to embrace the responsibility God has placed in their hands.

If we can influence children's primary influencer, their parents, we can see kids love and serve Jesus for a lifetime. 

Will you give yourself and your ministry to this?  The spiritual future of the next generation depends on it.