RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

If you want to influence kids, then you have to influence their biggest influencer.

Who is their biggest influencer?  Teachers?  No. Coaches?  No.  Small group leader?  No.  Pastor?  No.  Celebrities?  No.  YouTube stars?  No.

The biggest influencer in kids' lives are their parents. When surveyed, 86% of kids said their parents carry the most influence in their life.

This means if you want to increase your influence in kids' lives, then you've got to influence their parents. 

Is influencing parents part of your children's ministry strategy?  Many children's ministries have the mindset that they will influence kids and leave influencing parents to the adult ministry department.

But here's the truth.  In most cases, you have the greatest opportunity to influence parents.  Why?  Because you minister to their children.  And when you minister to their children, you have their attention.

Think about it.  If you're a parent, when someone does something nice for your child, they warm your heart, right?  That's the same thing that happens when you minster to people's children.  You have a unique opportunity like no one else.

How can you influence parents?  Let's look at a few ways. 

Communicate with parents.  Keep them informed about upcoming events and programs.  Start a Facebook group for them.  Open an Instragram account.  Put out a summer calendar, so they can see what's coming up.  Communicating with parents is a must if you want to influence them.

Provide tools for parents.  Extend your influence into their homes.  Take the lesson that was taught on Sunday into their homes for the rest of the week.  This can be done with a take home paper, video on YouTube, text messages, an email, a smart phone app, etc.

Be diligent to explain to parents the huge spiritual impact they can have, if they acutally use these tools.

Invite them to serve in the ministry.  When kids see their parents serving at church, it makes a huge impact.  Connect with parents and invite them to serve in the ministry.  This doesn't mean all parents should be serving in kids' ministry.  For some, children's ministry is not their sweet spot.  You want parents serving because it matches their spiritaul gifts and passion.

A great way to maximize this impact is to have kids serve with their parents in various ministries in the church.  It might be serving with mom or dad as a greeter.  Or it might mean a pre-teen helping his or her mother in a preschool classroom.  Or it might mean working together to clean up after the service is over.

Come alongside parents at key times in their child's life.  One of the best ways to influence parents is when their child is participating in a spiritual milestone.  These are key times when parents will throw the doors of their heart wide open and invite you to speak into their lives.

I've identified 5 key milestones in a child's early life.  And created a curriculum you can use to really influence parents in a major way during these windows of time.

Here they are:

• Parent & Child Dedication - this is a golden time to influence parents.  In many cases, it's their first child and they are looking for ways to give their child a strong spiritual foundation.  The class focuses not only on what the dedication means, but also how parents can influence their children spiritually.  This gives you the opportunity to plant seeds in parent's hearts that will bear fruit for years to come. 

• Bible Presentation - when kids are entering elementary school, you can use this milestone to teach them about the Bible in a deeper way.  Kids and parents learn how we got the Bible, how to study it and make it a part of your everyday life.  At the end of the class, parents present a Bible to their child and pray over them. 

• Starting Point - when a child starts asking about inviting Jesus into their life, parents will come to you for help.  With this class, you not only share with the child what it means to follow Jesus, but with their parents as well.  You'll influence many parents to begin a relationship with Jesus by using this. 

• Baptism for Kids - the same thing happens when a child starts asking about baptism.  Parents are wide open to your input and influence. With this class, you will not only see kids follow Jesus in baptism, but you'll influence many parents to be baptized as well. 

• Elementary Graduation - when a parent has a child preparing to enter middle school, they want to know how to parent their baby who is now becoming a teenager.  This is a key time when you can influence them.  You can hold a class / seminar where you share with them how to parent their child and how to continue influencing them spiritually.  The class ends with parents praying over their child.  It is a powerful moment.  

I want to encourage you to amp up your plans to influence parents.  Look back at the list above and write down 3 ways you can influence parents.  It can be something on the list or maybe it's another idea you've been contemplating.

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If one of the ways is using a milestone, then we can help you.  The curriculum and strategy for all of the milestones listed above are available for you. You can order a single milestone or take advantage of the package price and get all five at a great price.  You can get more info. and order by clicking on the link below.


Remember this.

Here's 25 pieces of advice for KidMin Leaders.  My prayer is it will be a help and encouragement to you and your ministry.

1. Ask more questions than you give answers.

2. Surround yourself with people that you want to be like.  You will become like the people you spend time with.

3. Spend more time equipping others for ministry than doing ministry yourself.

4. Keep re-casting the vision.  Vision cast yesterday that is not revisited today will be forgotten tomorrow.

5. Focus on doing a few things well.  Less truly is more.

6. Be a servant leader.  People don't follow a title...they follow someone they know cares about them.

7. Your most important ministry is your family.  Let your schedule reflect this.

8. Never make important decisions alone.

9. Do the small things well.  Excellence is found in the details.

10. Say "thank you" to your volunteers every week.

11. You will get hurt in ministry.  Don't get bitter or try to get even.

12. Don't focus on being successful.  Focus on being faithful.

13. Great teams are built one person at a time.  Invite people to join your team every single week.

14. Never stop growing.  Always be reading, asking questions and stretching.

15. Always be thinking about how you can influence parents.  If you really want to change a child's life, you have to influence his or her parents.

16. Provide first-time guests with an exceptional experience and they will return.

17. One of the best things you can develop is your people skills.

18. Focus on being "productive" rather than being "busy."

19. Evaluate...evaluate...evaluate...all the time.

20. Stay humble.  Always be aware of what you still don't know.

21. Find a pace you can maintain for the long haul.  It's a marathon, not a sprint.

22. Find your identity in Christ, not in your ministry.

23. Learn to lead adults.  You can't succeed in children's ministry if you can't lead adults.

24. Make change a process instead of a surprise.  Bring people along.  Timing is everything.

25. Your passion will determine the passion level of the ministry.  Lead the way.

Your turn.  What other advice would you give children's ministry leaders?  Share with everyone in the comment section below.

How do you know if your children's ministry is unhealthy?  Here's 10 telltale signs and how to treat it.

Symptom #1 - Lack of volunteers - crisis mode. Classrooms are not able to open due to lack of volunteers.  The volunteers you do have are stretched thin.

Treatment:  Build your volunteer team.  In this post, I share proven methods of building a volunteer team, no matter what size church you are serving in.

Symptom #2 - Programs or events that are not effective are perpetuated.  They are continued because "we've always done it that way" or because "Sister-So and So started this years ago" or "the few families who attend would be upset if we stopped it."

Treatment:  Regularly examine everything you do.  Is it helping people grow spiritually?  Is it helping you reach new families?  When you get negative answers to these questions, be willing to adjust and change.

Symptom #3  - Very few kids.  The largest classes are senior adult classes while many of the kids' classrooms sit empty.  You rarely hear the giggles and laughter of kids echoing in the hallways and when you do, there's a good chance it's grandkids visiting from out-of-town.

Treatment:  Be willing to do what it takes to reach young families.  In this post, I share what young parents are looking for when they visit a church.  Remember...anything that is healthy will be growing.

Symptom #4 - No partnership with other ministries.  The children's ministry is a silo.  Other ministries are seen as competition for resources, volunteers and space.  There is no collaboration or strategizing together.

Treatment:  Move from competition to collaboration.  In this post, I share how to make this transition.

Symptom #5 - The "why" of children's ministry is not articulated.  Mission statement?  What's that?  The church sees children's ministry as "childcare."

Treatment:  Start with the why.  In this post, I share the why of children's ministry.

Symptom #6 - Volunteers don't feel valued.  They are shoved into classrooms with little or no training.  They never hear "thank you."  They are never asked for their ideas, input or feedback.

Treatment:  Shift your thinking from what you can get "from" volunteers to what you want "for" volunteers.  Say "thank you" every week.  Here's more about how to value your volunteers.

Symptom #7 - Little or no passion.  People are just going through the motions.  You hear more talk about the past than you do the future.  Volunteers see their role as a drudgery instead of a delight. 

Treatment:  Get fired up!  Everything rises and falls on leadership.  Be a thermostat rather than a thermometer.  A thermostat controls the temperature instead of just measuring it.  In this post, I share 5 ways to get your children's ministry fired up.

Symptom #8 - Kids are saying it's boring.  Parents are having to "make" their kids come to church.  Kids are forced to sit and endure the lessons.  They hear "shhhhh" quite often. 

Treatment:  Create fun, relevant environments that will have kids dragging their parents to church.  In this post, I share how to make church a fun experience for kids.

Symptom #9 - The only time you connect with parents is when you are asking them to serve.  Parents are seen as a resource for your children's ministry instead of your children's ministry a resource for parents.

Treatment:  Realize that if you truly want to influence kids, then you must influence their parents.  Begin partnering with parents and equipping them to be the spiritual leader of their kids.  You can find out more about how to do this here.

Symptom #10 - Run down facilities.  Facilities are a reflection of a children's ministry's attitude and commitment to excellence.  Run down facilities will make a children's ministry appear even more unhealthy than it may really be.  Parents will immediately make an assumption about a children's ministry based on what the facilities look like.

Treatment:  Keep your children's ministries clean and clear of clutter.  Update them when you can.  Don't have the budget for a new children's building?  Do what you can with what you've got.  It's amazing what a fresh coat of paint can do.  And remember...clean and tidy doesn't have anything to do with the size or scope of the building.

The floor is yours.  What are some other symptoms of an unhealthy children's ministry?  Share with us in the comment section below.