RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Do you ever wonder if the kids got anything out of the lesson you just shared with them?

If you do, you're not alone.  We've all been there.

Today, I want to share with you 10 secrets to kids learning from your lesson.

Some of these you may be already be aware of and even use.  If that's the case, read through them for a good reminder of how to make your lessons stick.

Secret #1 - Repetition.  Did you know if you hear something one time you will remember about 10% of it.  But if you hear something 6 times, your retention rate goes up to 90%!  When you are teaching your lesson, make sure you have the kids repeat the key truth at least 6 times.  Do this and you can be confident that it made it into their memory bank.

Secret #2 - Senses.  You can use kids' senses to help them learn.  Incorporate as many of them as you can in your lesson.  Here are a couple of examples.  You are doing a lesson on John the Baptist.  You talk about him eating honey.  Have a small sample of honey for kids to taste (reminder to watch for food allergies).  Another example could be you are talking about Zachhaeus being up in a tree.  Have a small branch that the kids pass around and feel. 

Secret #3 - Ask them.  Position yourself outside the classroom door as kids and their parents are leaving and pull aside a few kids and with their parent's permission, ask them to tell you one thing they learned today.  

See if they can remember the key truth they just heard.  If you get the canned answer "Jesus" or "God," then you know you've got some tweaking to do with your lessons.  

Secret #4 - Every day objects.  Attach an every day object to what you are teaching.  Here's an example.  If you are teaching about growing in your faith, tie it to the illustration of getting to the next level in a video game.  Another example - you are teaching about salvation and Jesus being the one way to heaven.  Tell the kids to remember this each time they see a one way sign on the road.

Secret #5 - Have them teach it.  One of the best ways to see kids "get" the lesson is to have them take a few minutes to teach it to one another.  There are lot of ways you can do this and make it fun.  It's also a good way to break up your lesson if it's more than 5 minutes.  Teach for 5 minutes and then have the kids turn to each other and talk about the lesson.  Give them clear instructions like drawing a picture of what they've learned and then explain it to the person they are paired with.

Secret #6 - Focus on one key truth.  What is the one big thing you want kids to remember from the lesson.  Rather than having 3-4 things you want them to remember, just have one.  Less truly is more. 

Secret #7 - Incorporate learning styles.  Children learn in different ways.  Some learn through music.  Some learn socially.  Some learn verbally.  Incorporate as many learning styles as you can. 

Secret #8 - Tell stories.  Kids (and adults) remember stories.  Jesus, the master teacher, used parables (stories) when He was teaching.  They can be stories from your childhood, stories from current news, stories from heroes of the faith.  And of course, Bible stories are the best.

Secret #9 - Aim high.  Let me ask you a question.  When you have several ages of children in one classroom or service, who do you put up front?  The natural tendency is to place the younger children up front and the older kids behind them.  That's what I did until I read this quote by Walt Disney. 


If you want kids to have an optimal learning experience, put the oldest kids up front and the younger kids behind them.  Why?  Because little kids look up to big kids and want to be like them.  When they see the older kids are listening, they will listen as well.

This little secret can make a huge difference in how kids listen and learn in your ministry.  Try it out.

Secret #10 - Go visual.  Today's kids hear with their eyes.  Use a lot of pictures, video clips, object lessons, etc.  When kids not only hear, but also see the lesson, their retention will go up.  

If you haven't seen our Connect 12 curriculum, each of the lessons incorporate these 10 secrets and capture kids' attention and plant the truth of God in their life.  You can see samples at this link. Dozens of churches across the country are currently using the curriculum with rave reviews of how it helps the kids get the lesson.

Your turn.  What are some learning secrets you can share with us. We'd love to see them in the comment section below.  

The easy thing to do is to quickly place the blame on a child when he or she is misbehaving in class.  While it is true, we all have a rebellious nature we acquired from the fall that can cause us to misbehave on our own free will at times, it is also true in many cases, children misbehave because of circumstances we or someone else has placed them in.  If we can eliminate or teach them how to work through those circumstances, the amount of times kids misbehave in our ministry can be significantly reduced.

Let's take a look at 10 reasons why kids misbehave because of circumstances and how we can adjust these circumstances to help them succeed.

#1 - Kids misbehave when they are bored.  Kids hate to be bored.  And let's be honest.  Adults hate to be bored as well.  I recently visited a church as a guest and to be honest, the delivery of the sermon was very boring.  Monotone.  Too much information with no significant points to remember.  No stories or illustrations.  I looked around at the crowd and it was obvious they were "enduring" the message.  In fact, I noticed that many of them were looking down at their phones throughout the message.  And these were adults.  They didn't "misbehave" because they were adults.  But place kids in that situation and they will have a hard time not misbehaving.

If you are having trouble with kids misbehaving, I want to challenge you to take a hard look at what you are doing.  Pull aside a few kids and ask them if they get bored.  And you may have to let them be anonymous in their responses to get a true answer.

Blues Clues has been called the most engaging children's television show ever made.  Do you know why?  Because before an episode ever made it to the air, the producers would bring in groups of kids and have them watch a preview.  They watched the kids during the preview and when the kids looked away or got restless, they made a note of it.  They knew when kids get bored they get restless and start looking around.  The producers then went back and adjusted those parts of the show to make them more engaging. 

Bored kids misbehave.  Engaged kids behave. 

If you have a boring lesson or service, kids will make up their own fun, engaging lesson and service by misbehaving. 

#2 - Some kids misbehave because they have a medical condition.  Usually parents will let you know when their child is experiencing a medical problem that affects their behavior.  Be sensitive to the child's needs and work closely with the parents to provide the best experience possible for the child.  In some cases, it might mean providing a one-on-one volunteer to help the child.  Jesus calls us to demonstrate patience, empathy and understanding.

#3 - Kids misbehave when they are being taught through a lecture-only model.  The more you lecture, the more kids will misbehave.  Kids (and if we were honest - adults too) are wired to learn not just through lecturing, but through other learning styles as well.  In fact, lecturing is the least effective way of teaching.  Kids forget 90% of what they only hear.  But when you add in activities, games, hands-on learning and discussion, what they remember skyrockets.  If kids are misbehaving in your ministry, take a hard look at how much lecturing you are doing. 

Shrink the amount of time you are lecturing and your behavior problems will shrink as well.

#4 - Kids misbehave when they are experiencing turmoil or stress at home or in some area of their life.  Countless times when I a child has been misbehaving, I have found out that he or she's parents are going through a divorce.  The misbehavior was the symptom of the root cause.  I remember another child whose behavior at church suddenly began to go downhill fast.  As we worked with the parents to find out why, it later came out that he was being abused.  This is why his behavior had changed for the worse.

When a child, who was doing well in class, suddenly starts acting out, connect with the parents or guardians and ask if there is anything troublesome going on in the child's life that might be causing it. Walk with the child and family and provide support and encouragement as you can.

#5 - Kids misbehave when they are being taken past their attention span.  How long is their attention span?  About 1 minute for every year of their age.  In other words, you have 3 minutes with 3-year-olds.  And it maxes out at 5 minutes.  This primarily relates to the lecturing we talked about in #3.  Watch the next time you are teaching.  After a few minutes, you'll notice kids start getting restless.

The solution?  Simply reset their internal clock every few minutes.  That means if you are teaching, after 3 minutes of you talking, stop and let them talk about a discussion question for 3 minutes.  Or after you've taught for 3 minutes or so, break it up with a quick game or activity.

If you will honor kids' attention spans, you will see your behavioral problems become almost non-existent. 

#6 - Kids misbehave because they want attention.  This is one of the biggest reasons younger children misbehave.  If they can't get positive attention, then they will act out to get negative attention.  But the goal should be not to eliminate the need for attention.  Kids need attention.  And they should get it at church.  Why?  Because they need to know they matter.  Because they need to know that there are adult volunteers who care about them.  Because discipleship happens through personal relationships.

In order to do this, you must have good ratios of kids to volunteers.  If there are two volunteers in a room with 40 kids, it's going to be nearly impossible to give kids personal attention.  And the ones who really need it, will begin to misbehave in an effort to get it.  What they can't verbalize through their words, they will demonstrate through their actions.  They will do anything they can to get your attention.

When we respond to negative behavior, we give kids negative attention.  This may come in the form of lecturing the child, moving the child to another part of the room by himself / herself, threats, interrogation or taking away something important to the child.  But here's what we must remember.  Negative attention only increases misbehavior.  We must replace the negative attention with positive attention. 

#7 - Kids misbehave when they are testing the boundaries.  As kids try to figure out the world they live in, they will try to find out where the boundaries are.  It is natural for us to do this.  Where there is a fence, we are drawn toward leaning against it, aren't we?  

This gives us a great opportunity to make a difference in children's lives as we set boundaries and limits and follow through on them.

#8 - Kids misbehave when they are seeking control.   Kids have very little control in their life.  They are normally told what to do, where to go, when to go to bed, what to wear and how to act.  As they seek control, they will misbehave at times.

Don't let this lead to a power struggle.  You can avoid this by offering the child choices.  An example would be giving kids choices between activities in class or if they misbehave, offer them options to correct their behavior.  When you do this, you will reduce a lot of confrontations and increase the likelihood that children will follow instructions.

#9 - Kids misbehave because the rules and guidelines haven't been made clear.  Don't expect kids to follow rules and guidelines that they don't know exist or haven't been communicated clearly.

A great way to accomplish this is by stating the rules and guidelines at the beginning of the class.  And here is a small tweak that can be a big help.  Start by not calling them "rules."  When kids hear the world "rules" they immediately think of something negative.  Flip this and call them toward positive behavior.  Here's an example.  When I lead a class, I give the kids these 4 ways they can be successful in class.

• Talk when it's time to talk.  
• Listen when it's time to listen. 
• Get involved in the games and activities. 
• Have fun.

Which leads to the final reason kids misbehave.

#10 - Kids misbehave because of lack of motivation.  This happens when we don't give kids a good behavior goal to aim for and a reward for hitting that goal.  Look back at the positive rules in key #9.  When you share these rules at the beginning of the class, show the kids what they can obtain if they hit those goals.  It might be an extra game, candy, recognition or some other type of reward.

Here's another tip.  Have kids work together as a group to meet the goals and then reward them as a group for meeting the goals.  This adds the element of positive peer pressure.

In conclusion, here are 10 questions to work through with your team.  The answers you generate will help you see kids behave better and have a better experience in your ministry.

1. How can we do a better job at making our services or class time more exciting for kids?
2. Are there any kids in our ministry who are misbehaving due to possible medical conditions?  How can we come alongside them and their parents?
3. How much time are we spending lecturing kids?  Do we need to reduce this?
4. Are there any kids in our ministry that are misbehaving due to stress or turmoil at home?  How can we help them and their parents during this time?
5. Are we honoring kids' attention spans?  How can we improve in this area?
6. Are we providing kids with positive attention?  Are our ratios conducive to this?
7. Do we understand that kids test boundaries?   Are we setting clear boundaries and being consistent with them?
8. Are we giving kids the opportunity to exercise control by providing them with choices?
9. Are we providing kids with clear, understandable rules and guidelines to follow?
10. Are we motivating kids toward good behavior?  How can we improve in this area?

The way your children's ministry rooms are furnished and positioned plays a big factor in the experience you create for kids.

Many children's ministries still follow the outdated model of putting kids in rows of chairs.  This is part of the lingering effects of a bygone industrial age where kids were all taught the same way using the same method so they would march in line from the classroom straight into an assembly line at a factor when they graduated.

Are your ministry rooms still following this outdated model?  If so, you may want to consider rearranging your space which means you would need to rearrange the way you communicate with the kids.  Rows of chairs are the perfect setting for lecture-based learning where the teacher stands and downloads information.  In short, the teacher is a talking head.  The problem...that's the least effective way for kids to learn...no matter how "good" your communicators are.



Take a peak inside today's innovative classrooms (the church usually drags its feet several years behind the education world) and you'll see kids sprawled on ottomans, sitting on bouncy seats, lounging on couches, lying back on gamer-style recliners and using footstools as desks.  Rather than feeling like you're in a classroom with rows of chairs, you get the feeling you're in a living room or neighborhood coffee shop.

Those who have switched to this layout say kids enjoy being in that environment much more.  They say kids love it and it has changed their behavior and attitude toward learning.  They come in excited, ready to learn each day.  The flexible seating lines up with modern, 21st-century learning styles.  Kids learn by talking with peers, asking questions and sharing discoveries.  Kids get to choose where they want to sit.  And if they need to get up, walk around or choose a different seat, they are free to do so.  Teachers are finding that behavior issues have been reduced to a minimum in this model as well.

What will the kid's ministry space of the future look like?  If trends continue, it may look like a Starbuck's coffee shop.  The question is, will you be on the cutting edge of this or a late adopter?  If you're currently designing or remodeling your children's ministry space, you may want to consider this model.  The future is now.

Your turn.  The floor is yours.  Are you already using a model like this?  What do you think about this model?  Do you think children's ministries will gradually move toward this?  What are the pros and cons you see?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below. 

When Walt Disney was designing Disneyland, he had the engineers get down on their knees to ensure they built Main Street on the eye level of a child.  He wanted to make sure Disneyland was built with kids in mind.

One of the keys to growing a children's ministry is the ability to think like a child.  But how do you think like a child when you're an adult?  Here's five ways to think like a child and grow your children's ministry.

Think like a child when you decorate.  Think about what colors kids like.  Consider what themes are popular with kids.  Take cues from companies like Disney and Nickelodeon who are leaders in decorating for kids.  Ask kids for their input when you are planning your children's ministry areas.

Think like a child when you plan lessons.  What are their learning styles?  How long is their attention span?  What do they find engaging? 

Think like a child when you pick music.  What style of music they like?  What's coming through their ear buds during the week? 

Think like a child when you talk.  Keep your words simple.  Justification, regeneration, atonement and other words are not in a child's vocabulary.  When you use illustrations, use illustrations that kids can relate to.  And when you are talking to kids individually, think about their interests.  Talk to them about video games, movies, sports, school, etc.

Think like a child when you advertise.  This goes along with the first point.  Use kid-friendly colors, images and wording on your flyers, posters, invite cards, etc. 

One final tip.  Want to know if you're thinking like a child?  Ask them.  A kids' focus group is a great way to evaluate how well you're connecting and get new ideas for thinking like a child.  You can read more about how to host a kids' focus group here. 

Do you find the kids in your ministry are easily distracted?  Do you find yourself "managing" instead of helping kids learn God's Word? 

Don't worry.  You're not alone.  Look at the average children's ministry on a Sunday morning and you will find that at least half the kids are disengaged. 

But there is a secret that can change that.  Incorporate this one, simple secret into your children's ministry and you'll see kids go from disengaged to engaged.

Here it is - Ask the kids individually what they like to do.  This one simple question will reveal what a child is passionate about and what engages him or her.

Here's an example...you've got a boy that simply won't engage during the lesson.  You sit down with him and ask what he enjoys.  He says he likes to build things.  The next week, you incorporate building something with Legos into the lesson.  He's engaged and all in.

There's a girl that won't participate in any of the activities.  You sit down with her and ask what she enjoys doing.  She says she enjoys art.  The next week, you ask her to draw a picture of the Bible story while you're telling it.  She's engaged and all in.

The secret to engaging kids is not demanding that they engage.  Forced engagement is not effective. The secret is finding out what their interests, passion and learning style is and letting them operate in it.  When you do that, engagement comes naturally. 

Ever heard a kid say your lesson was boring?  If so, it was probably due to one or more of these reasons.  

A lecture-based teaching style.  I remember sitting in a "Sunday School" class as a kid.  We had two teachers.  They took turns teaching the lesson.  When one was teaching, the other one would fall asleep.  As kids, we had too much energy to fall asleep.  Instead, we were forced to sit there for an hour and endure what seemed like an eternity of torture.  I'm not blaming the teachers.  I am thankful for their hearts to minister to us.  They simply didn't know that lecturing is not the best way to teach kids.  In this article, I share a more effective way to teach kids. 

Making them sit still.  When we tell kids to "sit still and be quiet" we are really saying "sit still and be bored to death."  Kids were made to move.  In fact, the more kids move...the more they learn.  If you want to engage kids with your lesson, use participatory, hands-on, active learning.  In this article, you can read more about how to get kids moving.

Not honoring their attention span.  Kids have an attention span of 1 minute for every year of their age - maxing out at 5 minutes.  When you violate this, they will get bored.  If you want to keep their attention, reset their internal clock every five minutes by switching to another activity, song, game, object lesson, etc. 

Not using visual communication.  This generation hears with their eyes.  Words will bore them.  Words accompanied by images will engage them.

Only using one learning style.  When you limit your lesson to just one or two learning styles, the kids who learn differently will get bored.  Be intentional about using all the learning styles when you are teaching and you'll engage all the kids.

Not letting them talk.  "Sssssshhhhhh" kids and they will get bored.  And if all the talking is being done up front...you will lose them.  Give them opportunities to discuss deeper learning questions.  Read this article for the latest findings regarding this.

Putting them in space designed for adults.  Stick them in a room with beige walls and brown metal folding chairs and it will contribute to boredom.  Can you engage kids even if the room is not kid-friendly?  Yes, but you'll have to work harder to compensate for the dull environment.  Kids are drawn to bright, fun colors.  Kid-friendly environments do make a difference.  Ever seen a kid bored at Disney World?

Not knowing their culture.  Ever tried to talk with someone who doesn't speak your language?  Hard to connect, isn't it?  If you're talking cassettes to digital download kids, you'll lose them.  In a recent training, I shared about how to connect with today's kids.  You can read it here. 

Talking down to them.  Baby talk leads to boredom.  When you're in a room with kids of multiple ages, always talk to the oldest kid in the room.  Cool rolls down hill.

Not telling stories.  A story is the greatest boredom buster of all times.  Want to see kids lock their attention on what your saying?  Tell a story.  Great story tellers are great teachers.  Jesus, the greatest teacher of all times, used stories as one of His primary means of capturing people's attention.

The floor is yours.  What are some other reasons kids get bored during a lesson?  What do you do to keep kids engaged when you're teaching?  Share with us in the comment section below. 

Did you know that if you did the following things this past weekend the kids have already forgotten 90% of what you taught?

You didn't let them talk.
Kids learn best not by being lectured to, but by talking, asking questions and interacting.  If you did all the talking, they've forgotten most of what you said. 

You didn't use any pictures.
Half of the brain is dedicated to visual function.  65% of kids are visual learners.  A picture truly is worth a thousand words.

You tried to teach too many things. 
You tried to cram too much information in their head.  If you tried to teach them five truths instead of one key truth, they probably don't remember any of them.  Less is more. 

You didn't use repetition.
If you only said it one time, they've forgotten it.  If you repeated it 6 or more times, their retention rate went up to 90%.  Repetition truly is the key to learning.

You didn't hit all learning styles.
You had kids with lots of different learning styles in the room.  If you only tapped into one or two, you missed many of the kids.

You didn't honor their attention span.
If you talked over 5 minutes without switching to something else, they zoned out.  Honor their attention span and you will keep it.

You didn't use an object they will see this week.
If you didn't use something they will see this week as an example or object lesson, you missed a great opportunity to remind them of what you taught.  The one way street sign they will see many times this week could have been a reminder that Jesus is the one way to heaven.

You didn't show them how to apply it to their life and challenge them to live it out.
If you didn't teach beyond the facts and show them how to apply it to their life this week, you shortchanged them.  Information without application doesn't lead to life change.

You didn't engage all their senses.
If you only engaged their ears and eyes, you missed other key senses that help move truth into long-term memory.  Touch, smell and taste help kids remember.

You didn't engage their emotions.
Emotion is a glue of learning.  If you didn't create experiences that help them feel the tension of the truth, then you missed a golden opportunity.

So...what's the answer?  Simply incorporate the things you missed and watch kids remember what you teach them for a lifetime.

As the transition from lecture-based education to learner-based education accelerates, children's ministries that continue to depend upon good "teachers" will become ineffective.

The rules of teaching today's kids have changed.  The learning environment can no longer be centered around the teacher, but must center around the students and how they learn best.

Effective children's ministries will have good facilitators instead of good teachers.  And just because someone is a good "teacher" doesn't mean they are a good "facilitator."

Good "teachers" will find it harder and harder to engage kids who learn less and less by hearing and more and more by doing, talking, and interacting.

One big difference is this.  A good teacher can teach "on the fly."  But a good facilitator must be able to create and craft learning experiences that are carefully planned, fine tuned, and thought out with learning styles and attention spans guiding the process.  There is no "on the fly" with an effective facilitator.  You can read more about the difference between a facilitator and a teacher by reading this article.

Today's children's ministry "teachers" must shift from being the gatekeeper of all learning to being a guide, mentor, and encourager.

Pager methods will no longer work in a cell phone world.  Take a look at your kid's environments and think about it.  Is it time for some changes?

Learning trends for kids are shifting.  Here's 6 you need to know about if you want to be effective in teaching today's kids.

1. The student-centered learning experience.
The focus is shifting from the teacher to the students.  This is leading to more inquiry and experiential learning methods.

Takeaway:  Children's Ministries must shift from lecture-based to learner-based curriculum.

2. The soaring numbers of digital learners. 
The number of kids participating in classroom learning is shrinking while the number of kids learning online is growing.  In 2009 there were 450,000 online students.  Today there are nearly 4 million.

Takeaway:  Children's Ministries must think about providing online worship experiences and learning programs for kids.  The adult world has obviously done this with online worship services but the children's ministry world has yet to crack this. 

3.  Building higher order thinking skills – students are required to look at information more critically rather than just trying to memorize what is presented to them in class.

Takeaway:  Children's Ministries must teach beyond the facts and teach kids to evaluate, analyze, understand and apply truth. 

4. A personalized learning approach.

Takeaway:  Children's Ministries must teach using all learning styles.   Using only lecture-based teaching alienates a large percentage of kids.

5. Productive gamification.  Games are used to teach.

Takeaway:  Children's Ministries must continue to use games to help kids learn.

6. Students have personal access to mobile devices – smartphones, tablets, laptops and digital reading devices trump desktop.

Takeaway:  Children's Ministries must be willing to shift from print to digital including the Bible.

I love to hear a great communicator speak.  Someone who can move an audience, share a great truth, encourage, and inspire.

But...here's a reality that most communicators know in the back-of-their-mind, but don't want to think about.

No matter how great a communicator is...most of what he or she shares will be forgotten within hours...if not minutes.

And it has nothing to do with the communicator's skills and everything to do with how we are wired as human beings.

Truth gets placed in our long-term memory not by sitting and listening, but by discussing, engaging in hands-on activities, and sharing with our peers.

• A communicator tells kids the truth...a facilitator helps kids experience the truth.
• A communicator lectures...a facilitator listens.
• A communicator does all the talking...a facilitator encourages the kids to do the talking.
• A communicator demands attention...a facilitator demands action.
• A communicator causes people to leave saying, "What a great speaker."  A facilitator causes people to leave saying, "What a great truth."
• A communicator is in the foreground...a facilitator is in the background.
• A communicator has everyone's eyes on him or her...a facilitator has everyone's eyes on each other.
• A communicator engages 2 senses - seeing and hearing....a facilitator engages all senses.
• A communicator hits one learning style...a faciliator hits all learning styles.
• A communicator has a quiet classroom...a facilitator has a noisy classroom.
• A communicator gives great answers...a facilitator asks great questions.
• A communicator prepares great talks...a facilitator prepares great activities.

Do you want to place truth in kids' long-term memory?  Then shift from being a communicator to being a facilitator.  

Do you have kids in your ministry that are easily distracted?  Welcome to the distracted generation.

From the time they are toddling around, today's kids are immersed in a digital world.  From being entertained by mom's iPad to watching countless TV shows on networks designed just for them, they are constantly distracted.

And they bring those very short, easily distracted attention spans to your ministry.

So...how can you engage the distracted generation and effectively communicate God's Word to them?  Here's 7 ways...

1. Encourage dialogue.

• ask open-ended questions and follow-up questions
• listen to their responses

2.  Build relationships.  The way to capture a child's attention is through their heart.

• show them you care
• invest in them

3. Give them clear expectations. 

• tell them up front when you want them to talk and when you want them to listen

4. Use hands-on, real life examples.

• teaching about faith being like a mustard seed?  let them touch and feel a real mustard seed

5.  Use cooperative learning.

• give them projects and activities that require them to work together

6. Use peer-to-peer learning.

• allow them to teach each other what you taught them
• retention rate goes up to 90% when kids teach each other

7. Use different learning styles.  This allows all the kids to learn in a way that is comfortable to them.