RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Are you a control freak in your Children's Ministry?

If we admit it, we all are to some extent.  As we lead our ministries, our desire to bring excellence, passion, and improvement can lead to control issues.

Ownership is vital, but when it becomes unbalanced and leads to unhealthy obsession, it's time for some changes.

Here are four simple steps to loosen your grip.

1. Identify what only you can do.  
Resist the urge to lead every project or area of the ministry.  Ask yourself these questions.

• Could someone else complete this work to an acceptable level?
• Could someone else do part of this project?
• Could someone else do the initial draft so I only have to review and “tweak” it?
• Is this work keeping me from my highest value activities?

2. Defer early and often. 
Deferring is different than delegating. Delegating is handing off your responsibilities; deferring incorporates delegating, but also involves passing activities on to someone else before they ever hit your to-do list.

And don’t volunteer yourself for additional activities if you already can’t accomplish your must-do list.

If you’re used to doing it all and pride yourself on being able to figure everything out, this will feel uncomfortable at first.  Get over it.  If you don't, you will become the lid for your team getting to the next level.

Deferring tasks shows respect for others’ competency and lets you have the capacity to get done what only you can do — which is what your team really needs.

3. Create simple follow-up plans.
When you delegate or defer items,  have accountability and follow-up plans in place.  This will play a critical role in making sure the work gets done.

Plans may include regular meetings with key leaders you have given responsibility to.  It may mean setting goals and checking progress.

4. Resist taking back control.
Once you start to let go of control, inevitably there will be a time when something doesn’t get done the way that you would prefer.

Your gut reaction will be to question why you gave it away.  You'll find yourself saying,  "if you want something done right, then you have to do it yourself."

Stop.  Before you take back control...do two things.

• Find out what went wrong, where the break down was.
• Evaluate and make sure you gave them the tools, knowledge, and adequate resources to do the assignment well.  

Don't let fear keep you from making what could be your greatest contribution to your Children's Ministry...letting go and focusing on what only you can do.  

Mistakes are opportunities to learn.  But it's better to not make the mistakes in the first place.

Here's 10 common mistakes Children's Ministry Leaders make.  How do I know?  I've made them all.

Not providing feedback. 
When you don't provide your staff and volunteers with feedback, you are depriving them of an opportunity to improve.

Knowing how to give feedback properly is an art that can be learned.  Read about how to give effective feedback here.

Not making time for your team.
It's easy to get so caught up with the "tasks" that must be accomplished, that you don't make time for people. 

Spend time with the people on your team.  Listen to them.  Pray with them.  Invest in them.  Great leadership is about people first.

Being too "hands off."
In an effort to avoid being a micro-manager, many Children's Ministry Leaders pull away too far and don't provide clear direction and guidance.  Find the balance of empowering others while providing leadership.

Not defining goals and wins. 
When your team doesn't know what they're working toward or what success looks like, they'll lose purpose and passion.  Define clear goals and wins for the entire team as well as for individual positions.

Trying to lead by title.
People don't follow a title.  They follow someone they love and respect.  Don't assume just because you have a title you will be effective.  Forget the title and love, care for, and invest in people.  People will then be drawn toward your leadership.

Being a thermometer instead of a thermostat.
Don't measure the spiritual temperature of your team.  Set the spiritual temperature for your team.  Everything rises and falls on leadership.  Lead.

Not "walking the talk."
Your team doesn't expect you to be perfect, but they do expect you to sincerely practice what you preach.  And when you blow it...admit it, shoulder the responsibility, and ask for their forgiveness.  Their respect for you will grow.

Not delegating.
Delegating does take more work up front, but it pays huge dividends.  It's not what you can do, it's what you can empower others to do.  If you don't learn to delegate, you will become the lid that hinders your ministry from growing. 

Not developing your "people skills."
Ministry is about people.  If you don't learn how to interact with people, navigate conflict, and get along with people....you will struggle in Children's Ministry.  Good people skills will help you build long lasting relationships with your team members.

Making change a surprise instead of a process.
People don't like change...especially if they don't see it coming.  Many zealous Children's Ministry Leaders make changes too quickly and their ministry implodes.  Effectively making change is a process.  It takes skill and wisdom.

Your turn.  What are some other common mistakes do we make as Children's Ministry Leaders?

Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.