RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

He had signed up to serve in children's ministry.  I was meeting with him to determine what role he would be serving in.  I asked him what role he was interested in.  He said "I see there is an opening in 4th grade boys.  I think I'll serve there."

That sounded great to me.  I knew he could make an impact in the 4th grade boys' lives.  I was ready to say, "That's awesome!  Let's put you in that role."

But I knew I couldn't yet.  First, I had to ask him a question.  A question I asked everyone who signs up to serve.  Here's what I asked him.

"What is your volunteer dream job?  What are you really passionate about?"

He paused and then he said, "Well, to be honest, I love working with older teenagers.  But I see you have the 4th grade boys' role open, so that's where I'll serve."

Everything in me wanted to put him in the role with the 4th grade boys.  It's where I needed someone.  But I knew I couldn't.  I looked at him and said, "As much as I would like to have you serve with the 4th grade boys, I can't.  You need to be in the role you are passionate about.  Let me walk you down to student ministry and introduce you to our high school pastor."

Why would I do that?  Because I had made a commitment to help volunteers find their happy place.

A volunteer finds their happy place when you place them in a role that aligns with their passion, spiritual gifts and personality. 

How do you help a volunteer find their happy place?  Take these steps with each new volunteer.

1. Provide them with a list of all of the serving opportunities.  Give them a week to look over the roles and pray about where they should serve.

2. Sit down with them and ask them the following questions before placing them in a role:

• What are you passionate about?

• What are your spiritual gifts?

• What is your personality type?

• Have you served in children's ministry before?  If so, what did you enjoy doing?

• What special gifts or talents do you have?

• What is your dream volunteer job at church?  If you could serve anywhere, where would that be?

3. Place them in a role that aligns with their answers.

4. If their spiritual gifts or talents don't align with their answer, help guide them.  An example would be someone who wants to lead worship, but can't sing in tune.  This is where you lovingly guide them as a shepherd by providing them training or helping them find a role that fits their giftedness.

5. Give them permission to let you know if they get into a role and find it's not their sweet spot.

6. Take the initiative.  Meet with them one month after they start serving and ask them if they are in their happy place.  If they are not, help guide them into another role.  For some people, they may need to try a few roles before finding their happy place.

As we enlist new volunteers, the temptation is to place them where we need them.  Don't succumb to this. 

Don't place volunteers where you need them.  Place volunteers where they need to be.

When you place volunteers in their happy place, they will serve with delight rather than just duty.

When you place volunteers in their happy place, they will go home energized rather than drained.

When you place volunteers in their happy place, they will thrive.

When you place volunteers in their happy place, they will make an impact and bear fruit.

When you place volunteers in their happy place, their motivation comes from the inside rather than from the outside.

When you place volunteers in their happy place, they will be serving with people who have the same passion as they do.

When you place volunteers in their happy place, they will serve for the long haul.

We must remember, serving should be about what we want FOR our volunteers, not what we want FROM our volunteers.

When a volunteer is not placed in their happy place, one of two things happens.  They quit or they continue serving because of their character and commitment...but they serve with little or no joy or fulfillment.  They become demoralized and feel trapped.

Let's be committed to helping volunteers find their happy place.  A happy children's ministry comes from happy volunteers.

You can get more insight and ideas for leading a great volunteer team in my new book "The Formula for Building Great Volunteer Teams."  It is available at this link.

When you take a new children's ministry role, you will inevitably be compared to the person who held the position before you.  And according to some of the kids, parents and volunteers, he or she was the greatest children's ministry director ever.

Don't sweat it, even if you feel like the arm on the left side.  It's a normal part of the process when you follow someone.  Here's how to navigate this.

Be ready to be compared to them.
You will be compared to them.  Your personality, leadership style, spiritual gifts, family and abilities will be put on the scales of people's judgement.  Be okay with this.  It's just what happens.

Don't compare yourself to them.
When you feel the tension of comparison, you will naturally begin to do the same thing.  Resist this temptation.  It will either lead you to doubting yourself or to being full of pride...both of which are slippery slopes.  You are not called to run the former person's race...you are called to run your race.  God didn't call you to be a copy of the former person...He called you to be the best version of you that you can be.
 
Expect kids and parents to miss them. 
They will be missed.  And the longer they were there, the more they will be missed.  People who were close to the person will be hurt.  You will feel it and hear it.  And at times, they will take their hurt out on you.  Accept it and give people space to work through it.

Honor them.
When you show honor for the former person, you are not diminishing your influence...you are increasing it.  People will respect you for this.  

Never speak negatively of them.
Don't blame the person for things that are not up to par when you step into the position.  A leader doesn't place blame for where things are.  They provide steps for improvement.

Display an attitude of humility.
Don't be your own press release.  Let God do the promoting. 

Be ready for some volunteers to quit.
It is natural for some volunteers to step down when a leader leaves.  This has nothing to do with you.  When a leader leaves, some people will question if it's time for them to serve somewhere else or step down from serving.  Some will decide it is.  Don't fret it.  God will bring new volunteers.

Be ready for some staff to quit.
If there are other paid or volunteer staff, some of them will usually leave.  It's the same scenario as above.

Give the former leader credit for anything that can be traced to his or her leadership. 
Instead of ignoring the former leader's success, praise them for it.  Taking credit for something you didn't build or create will erode the leadership foundation you are trying to build.  Never forget you are building on the foundation of those who have gone before you. 

For the first 6 months, be cautious about making major changes to things the former leader put in place.
Quick changes the first few months can do more harm than good.  Take the first six months and listen, listen, listen, listen, listen and listen some more.

Realize it's a process.
It takes time to establish yourself as a leader.  Usually you won't hit your full stride in a new position until year 5.  It doesn't matter how many previous years of ministry experience you have.  When you start a new position, in those people's eyes you are starting from scratch.  You have to prove yourself as a leader and that takes time.

Focus on building relationships. 
The volunteers and staff don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.  People won't follow you because of your title...they will follow you because  they love and respect you.  Win their hearts and you will win their loyalty.

Be careful about accepting a position where the former leader is still present.
If the former leader is still involved in the ministry, it will be difficult to lead effectively.  There are exceptions to this, but it is rare.  Before you step into this situation, make sure clear parameters are set.

The floor is yours.  Have you experienced this?  How did you navigate it?  What other advice do you have for someone following the world's greatest children's ministry director?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.  

Happy volunteers last.

How do you know if they're happy?

ASK THEM. 

Ask them when they join your team and you're helping them find their place of service.

• Ask them what their passion is?
• Ask them to take a personality test.
• Ask them to take a spiritual gifts test.
• Ask them what their "dream job" is in children's ministry?

Ask them one month after they start serving if they're happy in their role.

• If they're not, then help them try another role.
• The goal is to help them find their sweet spot.  A volunteer in his or her sweet spot is a happy volunteer.
  

Ask them each year if they're still happy with their role.  

• Ever been stuck in a job with no opportunity to be promoted?  You realize there's more inside you.  You become restless and unhappy over time. 
• Your volunteers are the same way.  They want to be challenged.  Pour into them.  Invest in them and help them grow as ministry leaders.
• Give them the opportunity to take on more responsibility.  If they feel they're stuck in a ministry rut, they will begin to lose interest.

If you don't ask them if they're happy, most of the time they won't tell you...until it's too late.  It will be when they're quitting.

Be proactive.  Know the pulse rate of your volunteer's happiness. 

With millions of people watching world-wide, a 12-year-old girl named Julia Dale, recently sang the national anthem at the NBA championship game.

Normally at a game of this magnitude, a famous adult singer would have been chosen.  But not this time.  This time, it was a 4 ft. 3 in. little girl stepping into the spotlight.

There is much the church can learn from this.

God has given children gifts...and they can use them now.  Yes, kids have gifts.  And they don't have to wait until they are adults to use them.  In fact, now is the time to help them begin to discover and cultivate the gifts God has given them. 

Children are not just the church of tomorrow.  They are the church of today.  There is no "Jr. Holy Spirit."  Kids are just as much a part of the church as adults are.  A healthy church family is made up of grandparents, parents, and children.

God can use children in amazing ways.  Throughout the Bible, we see God using children.  Samuel, Naaman's handmaid, the children praising Jesus in the temple, David, and the boy with five loaves and two fish are just a few examples.  God wants to use children today as well.  He's just waiting for us to give them the opportunity. 

Children can lead the way.  I have seen children lead the way in giving, serving, prayer, and more.  I have seen God use children to bring an entire family to Christ.

But how many times do we tell children to "sit still and be quiet?"  And then we wonder why they are "sitting still and being quiet" when they become adults.  It's time we empower kids to lead.

Involve children in the life of the church now if you want them to be in the church when they are adults.  We've all seen the stats of how many kids drop out of church when they graduate from high school.

Could it be because they never felt connected to the church body as a whole?  Could it be because we isolate them as children and students?  And when they graduate they can't relate to the rest of the church and drop out?  We must find ways to involve and include them in the entire life of the church.

So there's the big picture.  If you'd like specific ways we are empowering kids to do the above, feel free to leave questions in the comment section below and we will be glad to share.