RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Mark Zuckerberg, founder of Facebook, was giving a keynote recently in Barcelona.  He was also joined on stage with two other technology experts.

It ended up not going very well.  Many people were so bored that they either fell asleep or walked out.  Here's a photo someone took during the session.  That had to be embarrassing.


A few people in the room sent out tweets. 

"The operators and Zuckerberg are talking a lot on stage, but don’t seem to be saying anything."

"Kind of a tame boring keynote from Zuckerberg."

Why were the people falling asleep and walking out?   Look at the Tweets again and you'll see why.

"Talking a lot on stage" (Lecturing)
When you drone on and on, people disengage.  Lecturing is the least effective way of learning.  Instead of lecturing, use active, participatory learning.  Spectators zone out...participators zone in.

"Don't seem to be saying anything" (Irrelevance)
 If you want to keep people's attention, then share information that is relevant to their lives.  Make sure the questions you are answering are the questions people are asking.

"Kind of a tame boring keynote" (Boring)
How you present what you present is vital.  Make sure what you share is served up in a fun, exciting format.

So...what if next weekend...the kids had the option to walk out of your classroom if they got bored?  Would they walk or would they stay?  

Ever heard a kid say your lesson was boring?  If so, it was probably due to one or more of these reasons.  

A lecture-based teaching style.  I remember sitting in a "Sunday School" class as a kid.  We had two teachers.  They took turns teaching the lesson.  When one was teaching, the other one would fall asleep.  As kids, we had too much energy to fall asleep.  Instead, we were forced to sit there for an hour and endure what seemed like an eternity of torture.  I'm not blaming the teachers.  I am thankful for their hearts to minister to us.  They simply didn't know that lecturing is not the best way to teach kids.  In this article, I share a more effective way to teach kids. 

Making them sit still.  When we tell kids to "sit still and be quiet" we are really saying "sit still and be bored to death."  Kids were made to move.  In fact, the more kids move...the more they learn.  If you want to engage kids with your lesson, use participatory, hands-on, active learning.  In this article, you can read more about how to get kids moving.

Not honoring their attention span.  Kids have an attention span of 1 minute for every year of their age - maxing out at 5 minutes.  When you violate this, they will get bored.  If you want to keep their attention, reset their internal clock every five minutes by switching to another activity, song, game, object lesson, etc. 

Not using visual communication.  This generation hears with their eyes.  Words will bore them.  Words accompanied by images will engage them.

Only using one learning style.  When you limit your lesson to just one or two learning styles, the kids who learn differently will get bored.  Be intentional about using all the learning styles when you are teaching and you'll engage all the kids.

Not letting them talk.  "Sssssshhhhhh" kids and they will get bored.  And if all the talking is being done up front...you will lose them.  Give them opportunities to discuss deeper learning questions.  Read this article for the latest findings regarding this.

Putting them in space designed for adults.  Stick them in a room with beige walls and brown metal folding chairs and it will contribute to boredom.  Can you engage kids even if the room is not kid-friendly?  Yes, but you'll have to work harder to compensate for the dull environment.  Kids are drawn to bright, fun colors.  Kid-friendly environments do make a difference.  Ever seen a kid bored at Disney World?

Not knowing their culture.  Ever tried to talk with someone who doesn't speak your language?  Hard to connect, isn't it?  If you're talking cassettes to digital download kids, you'll lose them.  In a recent training, I shared about how to connect with today's kids.  You can read it here. 

Talking down to them.  Baby talk leads to boredom.  When you're in a room with kids of multiple ages, always talk to the oldest kid in the room.  Cool rolls down hill.

Not telling stories.  A story is the greatest boredom buster of all times.  Want to see kids lock their attention on what your saying?  Tell a story.  Great story tellers are great teachers.  Jesus, the greatest teacher of all times, used stories as one of His primary means of capturing people's attention.

The floor is yours.  What are some other reasons kids get bored during a lesson?  What do you do to keep kids engaged when you're teaching?  Share with us in the comment section below. 

You spend weeks or even months planning and preparing for a big event, program or day. 

It finally arrives and everything goes well or even exceeds your expectations.  In spite of that, you wake up the next day and instead of feeling great joy, you feel like quitting.  You are emotionally spent.  You feel like you have nothing more to give.  And you wonder what's wrong...you wonder why you are feeling this way.

Don't worry and don't quit.  What you are experiencing is normal.  Here's five things to know about why you crash.

You're experiencing an emotional let down of going from an exciting, challenging, pressure-filled situation to one that’s less demanding.  When you are in the midst of preparing for the big event, your adrenaline is pumping.  Once the event is over, the sense of urgency and adrenaline rushes you felt slow down or even stop.  This causes a withdrawal.

What to do?  Be aware that this is going to happen.  It will help you understand what you are feeling.

You feel like you are going from exciting work back to a "boring" routine. 

What to do?  Fight this by establishing an ongoing growth routine that will keep you challenged, even when you don't have a "big event" going on.

You are experiencing a form of burnout.  Pulling off a big event takes lots of mental, emotional, and physical effort.  Many times, the amount of energy it takes exceeds the amount of energy you have in reserve.  When this happens, you burn out.  This means when you think about post-event work like follow-up, you feel overwhelmed and you don't think you can pull it off.

What to do?  Set expectations for what you can realistically do before, during, and after the event so you have something left to give after it's over.

You probably have a backlog of regular work that has accumulated while you were pulling off the big event.  The rest of your job didn't stand still and now feeling like you can't catch up is discouraging.

What to do?  Instead of diving right into the work, take time to sit down and list, clarify and prioritize what needs to be done.  This will give you a new sense of direction that is energizing.

Your tank is empty.  As mentioned above, you've spent out all of your energy.  You've got nothing left to give.

What to do?  Take some time off.  If you can't take an extended period of time off, then schedule some short breaks.  Get away from your work and take a walk, exercise, do a hobby you like, spend time with a friend, turn off your email and just relax. 

You reached your goal.  To stay engaged, we require new experiences and challenges. 

What to do?  Find something new to be excited about.  Make time to explore new ideas and opportunities. 

Conclusion...
How you feel and what you do following a big event is just as important in the long run as the event itself.  Knowing what to do with the feelings and burnout you experience will help you move from one big win to a consistent streak of wins.

The floor is yours...
Do you experience this after big events or programs?
How do you respond to these feelings?
What has helped you bounce back after a big event or program?
Share with us in the comment section below.

Do you want to know if kids like coming to your church or not?  There are two words you can ask them to find out.

These two words carry a lot of weight for a child.

The first word is FUN.  If you want to find out if kids enjoy coming to your church, ask them if it's fun or not.

Stand by the pick-up door and you'll hear this question asked by parents over and over.  "Did you have fun today?"

To a child here's what fun means.  I was engaged...they kept my attention...they taught using my learning style...it was interactive...I got to talk...I got to move around...I got to play a game...it was age-appropriate for me...it honored my attention span.

They may not articulate it like that...but when they say "fun" that's what they mean.

The second word is BORING.  When a child says something is boring, it means the opposite happened.  The lesson was not engaging...it didn't hit their learning style...they had to sit still...they couldn't talk...they were lectured to...it didn't keep their attention.

So...if you want a true picture of how effective your children's ministry is at engaging kids with God's Word....ask them what they think.  All you need to ask are those two words.  Is it fun or boring?

I sometimes hear people in Children's Ministry say they don't believe in "entertaining" children at church.

I understand what they're saying.  They don't believe we should spend the small window of time we have doing things that do not directly teach kids to love God and His Word.

I agree...if that is your definition of entertainment at church.  Entertainment for entertainment sake alone is not what we are called to do.  Kids can be "entertained" at Disney World or at a movie or at home in front of a video game.

I think a word that better fits what we are should be doing is...engagement.  We want to see kids engaged in God's Word.

Kids should be entertained at church if the goal of the "entertainment" is to capture their attention and engage them with God's Word.

Let's make this simple and easy to understand.  We have the most important message in the world.  We must engage kids with it.  To do this, we must capture their attention.

"How" you capture their attention is not main issue.  If what you are doing is engaging kids and capturing their attention, then I'm all for it.  If that's a video, game, craft, drama, story, flannel-graph or whatever...then keep it up.

But...if what you are doing is boring kids to death and causing them to dread coming to church, then you should change and start "entertaining" them.  Remember...by entertaining I mean engaging.

I will say this.  Make sure you are using methods that connect with today's kids.  If you're still trying to teach kids the same way they did in 1960, then you may want to make some changes.  These are the kids of 2014...not the kids of 1960.

I think the criticism about "entertaining kids" usually comes from someone who sees people using different methods of engaging kids than they are using.  If it's not the way they do it, then it must just be "entertainment."

Entertaining and engaging...when it comes down to it these two words mean the same thing in my opinion.  Whatever you call what you are doing with kids, just make sure it's working.

Okay.  Your turn.  What are your thoughts about "entertaining" kids at church?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

Ask them to repeat what you just said.

Show a short video.

Have them get up and move.

Have them make something related to the lesson.

Remove distractions.

Place kids in groups and let them talk about a question.

Let them make up the classroom rules.

Play a game.

Create an incentive or reward for listening.

Take them outside of the classroom to a different location for a change.

Let them help teach the lesson.

Have a motion or signal they repeat after you.

Usually if the kids are bored it's because the teacher is boring.  Engaged students pay attention.

What are some other things you do to help kids pay attention?  Share your ideas with us in the comment section below.

Having a difficult time getting guests to return?  Here's twelve reasons why they may not be coming back.

You only greeted them at the front door.  Most churches have greeters at the front door.  But once you move past the front door...good luck...you're on your own.

You made them wait in line.  People hate to wait in line. 

No one talked to them...I mean really talked to them.  This goes along with the first reason.  Just a "hello" at the front door is not talking to someone. 

Someone was rude to them.  An usher was short with them.  Or they were told they were "sitting in someone's seat."  Or people just looked past them as they walked down the hallway.  Or someone enforced a "hard and fast" rule in the children's area without kindness.  

They didn't see people they could identify with.  Perhaps they didn't see many people their age, season of life, social economic background, or ethnicity.

They weren't invited by a friend.  Since they didn't know anyone else and no one reached out to them once they got there, they have no relational connection to bring them back.

You didn't provide them with an easy, clear next step to get connected.  

You didn't make them feel valued.  They had to park in the worst area of the parking lot.  There were no signs or directions about where to go.  The people they interacted with made them feel like they were a "bother."

You were too friendly.  You smothered them.  You've experienced that in a store.  As soon as you walk in, you're pounced on by an associate eager to make a sales commission.  It makes you want to run out the door.

The service was boring and irrelevant to their life.  They couldn't relate to the music.  The lesson was full of information without application.  20 minutes in, they realized it would have been more comfortable to stay home and take a nap on the couch instead of taking one in a church seat.

Their kids didn't like it.  When they picked up their kids, the kids weren't smiling.  The children's service matched the adult service in dullness and irrelevance. 

You didn't capitalize on the first 8 minutes.  Guests decide in the first 8 minutes if they are going to return.  Most of the above happens in the first 8 minutes.

Questions to ask your team...

• Do we help guests once they pass the front door?
• Do we walk guests to their classrooms?
• Do we have a separate check-in area for guests?
• How long do guests have to wait in line to check-in?
• Is someone engaging guests in meaningful conversation between the front door and the auditorium door?
• Do we have kind, friendly people as ushers, greeters, teachers, etc.?
• Do we teach our people to live for others?  Do they have a heart for new people who walk in the door?  Have we helped them see "it's not about us?"
• What is the demographic of our church?   Who are we reaching?  Who are we not reaching? Are we diverse?
• Are we making relational connections with guests?
• Do we have clear, next steps that guests can take to get connected?  Are they simple and easy to communicate?
• Do we give guests the best parking spots?
• Is there clear, easy-to-understand signage?
• Are we "smothering" new guests?  Does it sound like we are giving a sales pitch?
• Is our music and message relevant to their life?
• Are we creating a fun, engaging environment for kids?  Are kids dragging their parents to or away from our church?
• Are we maximizing the first 8 minutes?  What are guests experiencing in the first 8 minutes?

What are some other reasons guests don't come back?
Share your thoughts, ideas, and insight with us in the comment section below.