RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

If you lead a ministry, then a big part of your role is to inspire staff and volunteers to work toward a common goal.

Look at history and you'll see that great leaders had this in common.  They had the ability to inspire others.

Think about Martin Luther King, Jr. and his speech in Washington, D.C.  Or Abraham Lincoln's speech at Gettysburg.  Or J.F.K's "ask not what your country" speech.  Or Winston Churchill's "finest hour" speech.  All of these were "drop the mic" talks that made a significant impact in history.

Yes, some of the ability to inspire people came from talent they were born with.  But the good news is this, even if you weren't born with innate charisma, you can still inspire the people you are called to lead.  Let's look at 5 keys you can use to inspire the people on your team.

VISION
Inspiring leaders have a vision that they are leading people to.  A vision that is challenging and causes people to stretch. 

People want to be part of something that is bigger than themselves.  Something that will enable them to leave a legacy.  Something significant.  

If you want to be an inspiring leader, then begin championing the ministry's vision.  Think big.  Talk about the vision when you meet with your team.  Tell stories about how the vision is being fulfilled.  Challenge people to stretch for the vision.  Be a walking, living billboard for the vision. 

TENACITY 
Inspiring leaders inspire by their commitment to complete the tasks before them.  Rather than whining when things get hard, they push on with a determination that won't let them quit. 

They simply don't give up until they've accomplished the task.  They use every failure as a stepping stone toward the vision.

COURAGE
All of the leaders I mentioned at the beginning of this article had something in common.  They faced significant challenges that required them to lead with courage.  You see, inspiring people usually doesn't happen when things are going well.  It happens when a leader has the courage to face challenges and uncertainty head on.

A great Biblical example of this is David.  He had the courage to step out and face Goliath when no one else would.  His courage that day inspired the entire nation.

EMPOWERMENT
Yes, people are inspired when the leader accomplishes his or her goals.  But people are even more inspired when the leader empowers them to complete their goals. 

You inspire people when you empower them to do things they never thought they could do.

You inspire people when you push them out of their comfort zone.

You inspire people when you pick them up when they fail and empower them to try again.

You inspire people when you believe in them and tell them so.

You inspire people when you help them become great at what they are good at. 

AUTHENTICITY
We live in a day when many leaders' walk doesn't match their talk.  The #MeToo movement has exposed leaders who were not authentic in the business world, entertainment world, political world and even the church world. 

Like never before, the church needs leaders who will be the real deal.  Leaders who will put safeguards in place that will keep them on track.  Leaders who will open up their life and invite people to hold them accountable. 

Remember, it only takes one incident to undue a testimony that you spent decades building.  There is a well-known leader who is experiencing this now.  He is a man who inspired me over the years with his books, his teaching and conferences he held.  He was the pastor of one of the largest, most influential churches in the country.  And yet, now he has blown his testimony...his credibility...his ability to inspire others, because he wasn't authentic in some areas of his life.

What you hide will eventually be exposed.  Make sure you live an authentic life so there is nothing that needs to be exposed.

Focus on these 5 things and over time, you will gain the credibility to be a leader that people follow and are inspired by. 

Your turn.  What are some other traits of an inspiring leader?  Who is a leader who has inspired you?  Share your thoughts and insight in the comment section below.  

Have you ever worked for a control freak?  I have.

Have you ever been a control freak?  I have.

And it's taught me that there's a big difference between being a leader and being a controller.

Here's the bottom line...a leader tells people what needs to be done and lets them do it.  A control freak tells people what needs to be done.  But they don't stop there.  They then go on and tell people exactly how they are to do it.  

Leaders produce leaders.  Control freaks produce followers.

And the problem with being a control freak is you become the lid and personally limit the growth of the ministry.  

Let's talk about how you can lead without being a control freak.

1. Drop your ego.  You are good at what you do, but so are others.  Shine the spotlight on them and let them use their gifts.  There is more than one way to get things done and it doesn't always have to be your way.

I remember I was speaking at a church a few years ago.  While I was there, I watched the interactions between the children's ministry director and her staff team.  It was obvious, that it was all about her.  She barked out orders left and right.  She controlled every single aspect of the event.  And her staff was miserable.  I could see it in their face and actions.  No one likes to work with a control freak.

Control freaks are stars.  Leaders create stars.
 
2. Delegate.  You simply can't do everything and you shouldn't.  Begin to rely on other people.  Give them the big picture and let them run with it.  You don't have to know every detail.  You don't have to approve every single step.  You don't have to make every single decision.

Hand over a task and let the person run with it.  Just go along for the ride and enjoy it.

3. Don't think you have to hit 100% every single time.  I know...they can't do it as well as you.  But that's okay.  Sometimes 85% is good enough.  Excellence doesn't necessarily mean perfection.  Often you will hear a control freak say "I guess I'm just a perfectionist."

4. Decide your sense of worth and accomplishment will come from empowering others.  Often we like to control things because it gives us a sense of worth and accomplishment.  We become addicted to that "I'm in control" feeling and so we crave the power that comes from control.  We long for the satisfaction that comes from knowing, "I did this all by myself."

But we must remember this: Control freaks are powerful....but leaders are empowering.  And empowering leaders accomplish much more by helping others lead and succeed.  Empowering leaders get their joy and satisfaction from watching others rise. 

The only thing we need to control is our control freak tendencies.  Working with others is so much more productive than working to control others.

5. De-stress.  Being a control freak causes a lot of stress.  First for you.  When you think the world revolves around you and everything has to go your way, things get very complicated and stressful.  Why?  Because it's simply not realistic.  We are not the creator and sustainer of the universe.  That job has already been taken.  When we realize this and stop trying to control everyone and everything around us, we can live peacefully.

Secondly, it causes stress for those around you.  No one likes to be controlled.  No one wants to have to run every single decision by someone else.  No one likes their creativity stifled and their input ignored.  The truth is, if you are a control freak, you won't keep gifted people around for very long.  They will leave.

I know a Pastor who is a control freak.  He is a good man.  A solid Bible teacher.  But he can't keep a children's pastor.  It seems they come and go every year.  Why?  Because he tries to control them.  Even down to telling them what color of paper to run the take home papers on.  After a short while, they get tired of it and move on.  It's not surprising his church is currently on the search for another children's pastor...again.

Are you a control freak?  Think through these questions and make the decision to start leading rather than controlling.

How often does my ego push it's way to the front when I am leading?  

Do I make decisions based on what is best for me or what is best for the team?

Do I feel threatened when someone suggests another approach?

Are there duties and responsibilities I am holding onto that I shouldn't be doing, simply because I don't want to give them up? 

Am I okay with someone else doing it at 85%?

Where am I getting my self worth and sense of accomplishment from?  What I accomplish or what I help others accomplish?  

How much stress is in my life right now due to trying to control everything?  How can I let it go along with the stress it brings?

Would the people I work with say I am a control freak?  If so, how can I change that?

Recently Romans 2:8 caught my attention.

"But He will pour out His anger and wrath on those who live for themselves..."

This verse got me thinking about ambition.  Ambition can be a good thing, if it's the right kind of ambition.  But it can also be a bad thing, if it's the kind described in the verse above...ambition that is about exalting the person who is consumed by it.

Here's some differences between the right and wrong kind of ambition.

The right kind of ambition is about empowering others.  The wrong kind of ambition is about obtaining power.

The right kind of ambition is about serving others.  The wrong kind of ambition is about being served.

The right kind of ambition seeks to build God's kingdom.  The wrong kind of ambition is about building your kingdom.

The right kind of ambition looks for a towel to serve others like Jesus used a towel to wash the disciples' feet.  The wrong kind of ambition looks for a title.

The right kind of ambition chases after God's approval.  The wrong kind of ambition chases after man's approval.

The right kind of ambition seeks to make riches so it can be used for eternal purposes.  The wrong kind of ambition seeks to make riches so it can be used for earthly purposes.

The right kind of ambition hungers for righteousness.  The wrong kind of ambition hungers for unrighteousness.

The right kind of ambition uses the ministry to build people.  The wrong kind of ambition uses people to build the ministry.

The right kind of ambition shines the spotlight on others.  The wrong kind of ambition shines the spotlight on himself or herself.

The right kind of ambition promotes others.  The wrong kind of ambition wants to be promoted.

The right kind of ambition brings glory to God.  The wrong kind of ambition brings glory to man.

The right kind of ambition is driven by love.  The wrong kind of ambition is driven by lust.

The right kind of ambition mourns when another falls.  The wrong kind of ambition rejoices when another falls.

The right kind of ambition wants what is best for the team.  The wrong kind of ambition wants what is best for him or her.

The right kind of ambition says "we."  The wrong kind of ambition says "me."

The right kind of ambition is humble.  The wrong kind of ambition is haughty.

The right kind of ambition strives to be faithful.  The wrong kind of ambition strives to be great.

Let's be ambitious...but make sure it's the right kind.

There's a secret behind the success of the award-winning children's movie "Inside Out."  Business Insider recently took an inside look and shared what it was.

The secret - the leadership style of the director, Peter Docter.  Instead of trying to generate the ideas for the movie, Peter listened to other people's ideas.

During the movie's production, Peter walked around the Pixar campus and engaged key people in conversation about the movie.  He also gathered observations from his family. 

Peter modeled a characteristic of a great leader...being an idea GATHERER rather than just being an idea GENERATOR.  You see..great leaders gather the best ideas from the people around them when making decisions.  

Dache Keltner, who is a professor at University of California, says that listening is a key way to practice empathy - and empathy is the surprising route to power and influence.  Research shows that teams that are led by empathetic leaders are more productive and innovative.  Bottom line...power comes from empowering others. 

Which would your team say best describes you as a leader?  Idea Generator or Idea Gatherer?  If you want to be an Idea Gatherer, here's some important steps to take.

1. Don't try to come up with ideas by yourself.  Gather people around you and brainstorm together.  You'll soon find that the smartest person in the room is the room.

2. Forget about the spotlight.  If you're concerned about getting credit, you'll never be an idea gatherer.  Instead of shining, help other people shine.

3. Detach yourself from owning ideas.  See ideas as simply ideas...not owned by or attached to you.  This will give you the freedom to be a gatherer.

4. Listen a lot more than you talk.  You can't gather ideas while you're sharing ideas and not listening.  Learn to ask good questions and then simply listen...a lot.

5. Never make decisions alone.  Idea gatherers never fly solo.  They involve others in the process. 

The more wisdom you gather from other people, the more productive, creative and successful you and your team will be. 

Mistakes are opportunities to learn.  But it's better to not make the mistakes in the first place.

Here's 10 common mistakes Children's Ministry Leaders make.  How do I know?  I've made them all.

Not providing feedback. 
When you don't provide your staff and volunteers with feedback, you are depriving them of an opportunity to improve.

Knowing how to give feedback properly is an art that can be learned.  Read about how to give effective feedback here.

Not making time for your team.
It's easy to get so caught up with the "tasks" that must be accomplished, that you don't make time for people. 

Spend time with the people on your team.  Listen to them.  Pray with them.  Invest in them.  Great leadership is about people first.

Being too "hands off."
In an effort to avoid being a micro-manager, many Children's Ministry Leaders pull away too far and don't provide clear direction and guidance.  Find the balance of empowering others while providing leadership.

Not defining goals and wins. 
When your team doesn't know what they're working toward or what success looks like, they'll lose purpose and passion.  Define clear goals and wins for the entire team as well as for individual positions.

Trying to lead by title.
People don't follow a title.  They follow someone they love and respect.  Don't assume just because you have a title you will be effective.  Forget the title and love, care for, and invest in people.  People will then be drawn toward your leadership.

Being a thermometer instead of a thermostat.
Don't measure the spiritual temperature of your team.  Set the spiritual temperature for your team.  Everything rises and falls on leadership.  Lead.

Not "walking the talk."
Your team doesn't expect you to be perfect, but they do expect you to sincerely practice what you preach.  And when you blow it...admit it, shoulder the responsibility, and ask for their forgiveness.  Their respect for you will grow.

Not delegating.
Delegating does take more work up front, but it pays huge dividends.  It's not what you can do, it's what you can empower others to do.  If you don't learn to delegate, you will become the lid that hinders your ministry from growing. 

Not developing your "people skills."
Ministry is about people.  If you don't learn how to interact with people, navigate conflict, and get along with people....you will struggle in Children's Ministry.  Good people skills will help you build long lasting relationships with your team members.

Making change a surprise instead of a process.
People don't like change...especially if they don't see it coming.  Many zealous Children's Ministry Leaders make changes too quickly and their ministry implodes.  Effectively making change is a process.  It takes skill and wisdom.

Your turn.  What are some other common mistakes do we make as Children's Ministry Leaders?

Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.