RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Use these phrases around kids and you'll probably get a puzzled look. 

Hang up the phone.

Look in the yellow pages.

Check the TV Guide and see what time it comes on.

Open the map and see which road we're supposed to take.

Who's paging me?

Have you checked out his MySpace page?

Get up and change the TV channel.

Can you get off the phone so I can use the internet?

Want to slam some Pogs?

My walkman keeps skipping!

Who shot J.R.?

That's groovy!

Where's the beef?

Let me put that in my Palm Pilot.

I'm dropping this film off to be developed.

Let me check the encyclopedia.

Can you call the travel agent and get a plane ticket?

Has the JCPenny catalog arrived yet?

Let's get that cereal so we can get the toy at the bottom!

Can you please adjust the tracking on the video?

Your turn.  Add to the fun in the comment section below.

Everything is going smoothly during the service and then it happens.

A 6 month old begins to cry uncontrollably and you can't calm him down.  A preschooler begins to cry for her mom and won't stop.  A 3rd grader throws up.  A pre-teen gets their finger caught in a door.

Time to contact a parent.  How do you do that?  Here's some options we use.

Text.  Take down the parent's cell phone number and let them know you will text them if needed.

Number on screen.  You can put the security tag number on the auditorium screen.

Pager.  Provide the parent with a pager.  This is especially helpful for guest families.  It gives them an added sense of security.

When should you contact the parents?  Read the article at this link for more information.

1. Renting a VHS tape and getting ticked off because the previous person didn't rewind it.
2. That video games can be fixed by just blowing into them.
3. The frustration of driving to Blockbuster to rent the movie you want to see and finding out all the copies are rented out.
4. That cell phones are the size of bricks.
5. Not being able to walk around while you are on the phone because you are tied down by a cord.
6. Having to look in a book to find out the answer to a question.
7. Having to use a TV Guide to know what's on TV.
8. Having to use a paper map to find a location.
9. How to memorize a phone number.
10. That having a pager makes you feel important.
11. How awful it was when someone taped over a show you had recorded on your VHS tape.
12. That cereal isn't cereal if it doesn't have a prize at the bottom.
13. An annoying squealing sound when you connect to the internet.
14. How to use a World Book Encyclopedia.
15. Having a watch that is also a calculator.
16. Having to wait for your favorite song to come on the radio.
17. Saving information on a floppy disk.
18. Using a phone booth.
19. Getting up to change the TV station.
20. Fixing a cassette tape with a pencil.

What else do they not know about?  Add to the fun by sharing below.