RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

There are lots of steps you can take to be a better leader. 

So many, that sometimes we get overwhelmed by all the steps that are available.

Let's talk about several steps you can take today that will help you be a more effective leader tomorrow. 

But here is my challenge to you.  Take one step.  That's it.  Just one step.  You see, the best way to become a better leader is to focus on taking one step at a time.

Okay.  Let's talk about some steps you can take.  As you read through these, watch for one step that really grabs your attention.  That's the one step you can take today, so you can be a better leader tomorrow.

Step  - Emphasize the "why" of the ministry.  Don't let the "why" of the ministry get overlooked in the busyness of doing the "what" of the ministry.  Example.  A greeter can lose sight of why he/she is standing at a door and welcoming people.  The what is holding the door for people.  But go deeper and help them see that the "why" is creating an environment that makes people feel welcome, accepted and important. 

Become a better leader by reminding team members "why" they are serving in the role they are in.

Step - Cast fresh vision.  Vision leaks.  That means it has to be re-cast on a regular basis.  Invigorate your ministry by casting a fresh vision.  People want to be part of something bigger than they can accomplish alone.  Vision brings excitement.  Vision causes people to give their best effort.  Vision unites a team and causes the members of the team to reach for, to stretch for, something they want to accomplish together.    

Step - Be driven by what you value.  Are you doing what you are doing because you believe in it?  Do you highly value what you are putting your efforts into?  Do you wake up excited about what's on the agenda for the day?  If you want the team to be driven, then you must first be driven to see what you value become a reality. 

Step - Establish a few, clear goals.  Make them attainable.  Make them measurable.  Make them focused.  Make it clear what the goal is so the team understands expectations.

Here's an example.  Set a goal that every child will hear their name spoken while they are at church.  Give team members a plan for this, so they can ensure it happens.  

Step - Be a coach.  Offer feedback today to someone on the team.  Spend time coaching a team member today.  Take someone to lunch and offer them feedback that will help them improve.  Purchase a book that everyone reads together and discusses.  Help team members avoid some errors  you made in your early days of leading.  Encourage.  Push.  Align.  Recognize effort. 

Step - Deepen relationships.  Everything I've mentioned above must be grounded in relationship if it's going to succeed.  Do something today that will deepen your relationships with team members.  Perhaps it's taking someone to lunch.  Perhaps it's writing someone an encouraging note.  Perhaps it's praying with someone.  Perhaps it's asking how they are doing and listening...really listening, as they share.

Which of these steps...just one for today....do you need to take?  Invest today and reap the benefits tomorrow.

p.s. And of course, it's not one step and done.  It takes a step each day to continue moving forward as a leader.  The good news...there is a compound effect of taking a step every day.  Those steps add up and will keep you moving forward in your leadership. 

Today's article is a guest post from my friend, Eric Gayer.  Eric is the Executive Director of Family Life at Lifegate Church.  Lifegate Church is a growing, multi-site church in the Omaha, Nebraska area.  In this article, Eric talks about investing in large group hosts.

ERIC GAYER

Several years ago, I attended a destination wedding, at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica.  It was an incredible experience - beautiful beaches, snorkeling, sparkling pools and great food.  But there was one thing that stood out to me that I did not anticipate.

One evening we attended some of the resort's evening entertainment.  Sitting in the audience, I remarked to my wife that we needed to hire the emcee of the program for our ministry. (Never mind that I didn't know where he stood with Jesus and getting him to move from the Caribbean to the Midwest would be a tough sell.)  He was so effective at what he did!

Here are some things that stood out to me about how he led:

• He was high energy.  We all know it - as the leader goes, so the group goes.  We tell our upfront hosts they can expect the group to be about 70% as excited as they are, at best.  They have to lead with lots of energy and enthusiasm! 

• He kept things moving.  The time was well-organized and well-executed.  All props were ready, participants were selected quickly, the games had simple instructions and he didn't take a lot of time getting into the action.

• He made fun the priority.  He was having fun himself, and he made sure everyone, participants and spectators alike, enjoyed the experience as well.  The audience understood and felt like they were a part of what was happening.  At the end, even the losing participant didn't feel like a loser; it was all about helping everyone have fun.

When we returned, I did my best to convince my boss that he should pay for me and a couple of key leaders to go back and learn from this resort...but to no avail.  It did make me wonder though, if it wouldn't it be worth our while to go where others are doing the job of hosting well with the goal of learning from them.
 
We've talked about taking our leaders to a major league baseball game and gathering afterwards as a team to discuss what we could learn from the person who runs the games between innings.  That would be a more accessible example of someone functioning in the role that we call our upfront hosts to do on a weekly basis, since both jobs are trying to engage a large audience within tight time restraints.

So whether you take your team to an all inclusive resort (I'm sure they'd be on board), a minor league baseball game or you just watch Ellen's Game of Games together, be proactive in training up great large group presenters!  Your ministry will only be the better for it.

Great article Eric, especially resonated with the hosts setting the pace for the energy and excitement level in the room.  Readers, if you have any thoughts, insight or comments about investing in large group hosts, share it with us in the comment section below.

Want to be a better leader for your children's ministry?  Here's 10 ways to become a better leader right now.

1. Apologize when you blow it.  Instead of trying to hide your mistakes or shift blame, be quick to admit your mistakes and ask for forgiveness.

People will respect you more...and people follow those they respect.

2. Admit when you don't know the answer.  When you admit you don't know the answer, but are going to find out, people will respect you as a leader.

3. Act - don't react.  Take time to think through your responses to challenges instead of reacting to them. 

4. Give lots of positive feedback and small amounts of criticism.  People respond to encouragement...not criticism. 

5. Get to know your team members on a personal level.  Take time in meetings to ask how people's families are doing, events in their life and other personal interests.

6. Be okay with failure.  There will be times when you fail.  That's okay...As long as you learn from it and use it as a stepping stone to success.

7. Talk some...listen a lot.  Spend more time listening than you do talking.  Shift from primarily being a communicator to being a facilitator. 

8. Celebrate success.  Take time to slow down and celebrate the wins.

9. Address the hard challenges first.  There's a tendency to do the easy challenges first and procrastinate on the hard ones.   Meet the hard ones head on and it will free your mind up to focus on other tasks.

10.  Read.  Grab a leadership book and read it.  How much you grow as a leader is directly tied to how much you read.

Successful team builders show their volunteers RESPECT.

Studies show that respect ranks above even recognition and appreciation.  When volunteers know you respect them, they will go the distance with you.

Respect is rooted in how you make people feel.  You are either making your volunteers feel respected or disrespected.

Here are some practical ways to give your volunteers respect.

Listen to them.
Show your voulnteers that you respect their opinions and ideas by actively listening when they are talking to you.  Ask questions and then really listen instead of just thinking about what you will say next.

Ask for their ideas and input.
Be proactive in asking your volunteers for input and ideas to improve the ministry.  In this post, I share some great ways to do this.  When volunteers know they can contribute, it communicates respect.

Always show them kindness.
It's not just WHAT you say, but HOW you say it.  I remember an incident years ago, when I was stressed out and spoke unkindly to a group of our volunteers.  As soon as I said it, I saw their countenance drop and knew I had made a mistake.  I apologized and thankfully they forgave me and continued serving.  It was a great learning experience for me.

Return their phone calls and emails.
Have you ever left someone a message or sent them an email and never heard anything back?  It made you feel disrespected, didn't it.  Return phone calls and respond to emails within 24 hours.  

Give feedback privately.
Correcting a volunteer in front of other people makes him or her feel disrespected.  Ask their permission to give them feedback and then do it 1-on-1.  Give them steps they can take to improve or adjust what they are doing.

Doug Conant became the CEO of Campbell's soup in 2001.  The company was in decline and had lost half it's market value.  Doug turned the company around.  A few years later, the team members were setting all-time performance records.

The secret?  He showed them respect.  This included Doug writing over 30,000 personal thank you notes to team members.  When people feel respected, they flourish.

What are some ways you show your volunteers respect?  Share with us in the comment section below.

A toxic children's ministry leader is someone who abuses the leader/follower relationship.  He or she takes the team downhill and creates an environment that's unhealthy.

Do you have a toxic children's ministry leader?  Or...are you personally a toxic children's ministry leader?  Here's 10 ways to know..

A toxic children's ministry leader makes sure it's all about him or her.  
The ministry revolves around him or her.  He or she has an inflated view of his or her importance to the team.  Listen to this quote from a famous actor.

“As soon as enough people give you enough compliments and you’re wielding more power than you’ve ever had in your life, it’s not that you become arrogant or rude to people, but you get a false sense of your own importance and what you’ve accomplished.  You actually think you’ve altered the course of history.”  Leonardo DiCaprio

A toxic children's ministry leader doesn't use the words, "I'm sorry."
A toxic leader is full of pride and doesn't apologize when wrong.  Instead of taking ownership for mistakes or failures, he or she shifts the blame to someone else.  The buck doesn't stop with the toxic leader...the buck gets thrown in someone else's lap.  Unless...which leads us to the next sign.

A toxic children's ministry leader takes all the credit for successes.
He or she makes sure the spotlight shines on them.  He or she is quick to take credit and quick to shift blame when things go wrong.  He or she makes sure his or her name is in the headlines.  

A toxic children's ministry leader does all the talking at team meetings.
Commands replace collaboration.
Quick answers replace questions.
Tyranny replaces teamwork.
Ego replaces encouragement.
Intimidation replaces the interests of others.

A toxic children's ministry leader is condescending. 
He or she talks down to the team.  He or she is arrogant.  He or she flaunts their title instead of taking the towel of servant leadership that Jesus modeled.  He or she leads by position instead of passion.

A toxic children's ministry leader isn't flexible.
It's my way or the highway.  He or she chooses hills to die on that are really just mole hills.  He or she perpetuates programs or events that no longer work simply because they were his or her brainchild.

A toxic children's ministry leader micromanages.
He or she doesn't give people the freedom to lead.  He or she has to approve everything.  He or she is the leadership lid that is keeping the ministry from growing because he or she has to control everything.

A toxic children's ministry leader clones.
He or she gathers people around that are just like himself/herself.  There is no diversity or other personality types on the team.  He or she doesn't bring people on the team that compliment his or her weaknesses.  Which leads to the next sign.

A toxic children's ministry leader won't acknowledge his or her blind spots.
He or she doesn't have anyone asking them the hard questions.  When and if they are confronted about a blind spot, they refuse to acknowledge it and accuse the person of being disloyal or against them.

A toxic children's ministry leader corrects publicly.
When someone makes a mistake, a toxic leader uses word assassination in front of everyone else instead of talking with them privately.  Team members are left embarrassed and humiliated.

What are some overall signs a toxic leader is at the helm?

• low morale
• lots of team member turn over
• creativity from team members has stopped flowing
• declining productivity

Truth be told, we've all exhibited some of these traits at times.  I know I have and I've still got work to do in some of these areas.  I want to encourage you to take a hard look at these.  Are you toxic in any of these areas?   The first step to growing out of it is acknowledgement.

And if you're serving under a toxic leader, go to the person in a spirit of love and humility.  Hopefully God will use your words to help the person grow.  If they refuse, you have to decide to stay or leave.

Mistakes are opportunities to learn.  But it's better to not make the mistakes in the first place.

Here's 10 common mistakes Children's Ministry Leaders make.  How do I know?  I've made them all.

Not providing feedback. 
When you don't provide your staff and volunteers with feedback, you are depriving them of an opportunity to improve.

Knowing how to give feedback properly is an art that can be learned.  Read about how to give effective feedback here.

Not making time for your team.
It's easy to get so caught up with the "tasks" that must be accomplished, that you don't make time for people. 

Spend time with the people on your team.  Listen to them.  Pray with them.  Invest in them.  Great leadership is about people first.

Being too "hands off."
In an effort to avoid being a micro-manager, many Children's Ministry Leaders pull away too far and don't provide clear direction and guidance.  Find the balance of empowering others while providing leadership.

Not defining goals and wins. 
When your team doesn't know what they're working toward or what success looks like, they'll lose purpose and passion.  Define clear goals and wins for the entire team as well as for individual positions.

Trying to lead by title.
People don't follow a title.  They follow someone they love and respect.  Don't assume just because you have a title you will be effective.  Forget the title and love, care for, and invest in people.  People will then be drawn toward your leadership.

Being a thermometer instead of a thermostat.
Don't measure the spiritual temperature of your team.  Set the spiritual temperature for your team.  Everything rises and falls on leadership.  Lead.

Not "walking the talk."
Your team doesn't expect you to be perfect, but they do expect you to sincerely practice what you preach.  And when you blow it...admit it, shoulder the responsibility, and ask for their forgiveness.  Their respect for you will grow.

Not delegating.
Delegating does take more work up front, but it pays huge dividends.  It's not what you can do, it's what you can empower others to do.  If you don't learn to delegate, you will become the lid that hinders your ministry from growing. 

Not developing your "people skills."
Ministry is about people.  If you don't learn how to interact with people, navigate conflict, and get along with people....you will struggle in Children's Ministry.  Good people skills will help you build long lasting relationships with your team members.

Making change a surprise instead of a process.
People don't like change...especially if they don't see it coming.  Many zealous Children's Ministry Leaders make changes too quickly and their ministry implodes.  Effectively making change is a process.  It takes skill and wisdom.

Your turn.  What are some other common mistakes do we make as Children's Ministry Leaders?

Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.