RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

Time Magazine recently reported on the homework controversy.  With school back in swing, the debate is brewing again.  At the center of the debate is Brandy Young, a second-grade teacher in Texas who told parents she would not formally assign homework this year.  Instead she is encouraging kids to eat dinner with their families, play outside and go to bed early.

Parents who think their kids shouldn't be assigned heavy loads of homework are praising the approach.  Other parents worry that kids will lose an academic advantage if they aren't assigned homework.

For years, the National PTA and National Education Association has supported the standard of 10 minutes of homework per grade level.  Following this guideline, high school seniors should be completing 2 hours of homework each night.

But some schools have decided to extend the school day and shorten the homework load.  An elementary school in Massachusetts is piloting a no-homework program by adding two hours to the school day.  Their strategy is for kids to go home at 4 o'clock and have the rest of the evening to be with their families and enjoy activities such as sports or clubs.

The homework question is being debated by educational leaders across the country.  Harris Cooper, a psychology professor at Duke University, has conducted extensive research and found evidence that homework leads to better performance in school.  And he found that it improves study habits, self-discipline and problem solving skills.  On the other hand, he also found that excessive homework can lead to physical and emotional fatigue and create negative attitudes toward learning.  His conclusion was that a small amount of homework is useful for all students.

Other experts don't agree with Cooper.  Cathy Vatteroot, an education professor at the University of Missouri, says there is not sufficient evidence that homework is helpful at the elementary level.  She supports eliminating homework for younger kids.

What do you think?  Should kids be assigned homework?  If so, how much?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.

How well do you know today's kids?

Take this quiz to find out.  Choose the answer that today's kids would choose.  You can see the answers below.

Quiz
1. What is a tablet?

• pill you take in the morning
• electronic handheld device

2. Wiki?

• cooperative web app
• shuttle bus in Hawaii

3. What is a phone?

• device that has a long, coiled wire that you wrap around your arm while talking
• device you carry in your pocket

4. History?

• subject in school
• TV channel

5. GaGa?

• singer
• baby talk

6. Amazon?

• river in South America
• online store

7. Who is the green giant?

• big guy who picks vegetables
• Shrek

8. Madden?

• video game
• super bowl winning coach

9. What is mail?

• something that comes to your inbox
• something that comes to your mailbox

10. Cut and paste?

• something you do with scissors and glue
• something you do on your computer

11. Wire-rimmed glasses?

• Harry Potter
• John Lennon

12. When can you see cartoons?

• Saturday morning
• 24/7

13. Who is the star of Twilight?

• Rod Sterling
• vampires

14. Who is Barney?

• Andy's assistant
• purple dinosaur

15. Basketball star?

• Michael
• Lebron

16. Music?

• CD
• download

17. How do you get directions?

• Google maps
• map book

18. School blackboard?

• smart
• chalk

19. Taking pictures?

• camera
• cell phone

20. What is plasma?

• type of TV
• bodily fluid

Answers
1. A tablet is a handheld electronic device.
2. Wiki is a cooperative web app.
3. Phone is a device you carry in your pocket.
4. History is a TV channel.
5. GaGa is a singer.
6. Amazon is an online store.
7. Shrek is a green giant.
8. Madden is a video game.
9. Mail is something that comes to your inbox.
10. Cut and paste is something you do on your computer.
11. Harry Potter wears wire-rimmed glasses.
12. Cartoons are available 24/7.
13. Vampires are the stars of Twilight.
14. Barney is a purple dinosaur.
15. Lebron is a basketball star.
16. Music is downloaded.
17. You can use Google maps to get directions.
18. A blackboard at school is smart.
19. You take pictures with your cell phone.
20 Plasma is a type of TV.

How'd you do?  It's vital that we stay connected to the world of the kids God has called us to reach.  Just as a missionary to another country studies and learns the culture of the people group he is trying to reach, so we should be doing the same with the kids God has called us to reach.

Dear Parent:

I know. You’re worried. Every day, your child comes home with a story about THAT kid.

The one who is always hitting shoving pinching scratching maybe even biting other children. The one who always has to hold my hand in the hallway. The one who has a special spot at the carpet, and sometimes sits on a chair rather than the floor. The one who had to leave the block center because blocks are not for throwing.

The one who climbed over the playground fence right exactly as I was telling her to stop. The one who poured his neighbor's milk onto the floor in a fit of anger. On purpose. While I was watching. And then, when I asked him to clean it up, emptied the ENTIRE paper towel dispenser. On purpose. While I was watching. The one who dropped the REAL ACTUAL F-word in gym class.

You’re worried that THAT child is detracting from your child’s learning experience. You’re worried that he takes up too much of my time and energy, and that your child won’t get his fair share. You’re worried that she is really going to hurt someone some day.

You’re worried that “someone” might be your child. You’re worried that your child is going to start using aggression to get what she wants. You’re worried your child is going to fall behind academically because I might not notice that he is struggling to hold a pencil. I know.

Your child, this year, in this classroom, at this age, is not THAT child. Your child is not perfect, but she generally follows rules. He is able to share toys peaceably. She does not throw furniture. He raises his hand to speak. She works when it is time to work, and plays when it is time to play. He can be trusted to go straight to the bathroom and straight back again with no shenanigans. She thinks that the S-word is “stupid” and the C-word is “crap.”

I know. I know, and I am worried, too. You see, I worry all the time. About ALL of them. I worry about your child’s pencil grip, and another child’s letter sounds, and that little tiny one’s shyness, and that other one’s chronically empty lunchbox. I worry that Gavin’s coat is not warm enough, and that Talitha’s dad yells at her for printing the letter B backwards. Most of my car rides and showers are consumed with the worrying.

But I know, you want to talk about THAT child. Because Tabitha’s backward Bs are not going to give your child a black eye.

I want to talk about THAT child, too, but there are so many things I can’t tell you.

I can’t tell you that she was adopted from an orphanage at 18 months.

I can’t tell you that he is on an elimination diet for possible food allergies, and that he is therefore hungry ALL. THE. TIME.

I can’t tell you that her parents are in the middle of a horrendous divorce, and she has been staying with her grandma.

I can’t tell you that I’m starting to worry that grandma drinks…

I can’t tell you that his asthma medication makes him agitated.

I can’t tell you that her mom is a single parent, and so she (the child) is at school from the moment before-care opens, until the moment after-care closes, and then the drive between home and school takes 40 minutes, and so she (the child) is getting less sleep than most adults.

I can’t tell you that he has been a witness to domestic violence.

That’s okay, you say. You understand I can’t share personal or family information. You just want to know what I am DOING about That Child’s behavior.

I would love to tell you. But I can’t.

I can’t tell you that she receives speech-language services, that an assessment showed a severe language delay, and that the therapist feels the aggression is linked to frustration about being unable to communicate.

I can’t tell you that I meet with his parents EVERY week, and that both of them usually cry at those meetings.

I can’t tell you that the child and I have a secret hand signal to tell me when she needs to sit by herself for a while.

I can’t tell you that he spends rest time curled in my lap because “it makes me feel better to hear your heart, Teacher.”

I can’t tell you that I have been meticulously tracking her aggressive incidents for 3 months, and that she has dropped from 5 incidents a day, to 5 incidents a week.

I can’t tell you that the school secretary has agreed that I can send him to the office to “help” when I can tell he needs a change of scenery.

I can’t tell you that I have stood up in a staff meeting and, with tears in my eyes, BEGGED my colleagues to keep an extra close eye on her, to be kind to her even when they are frustrated that she just punched someone AGAIN, and this time, RIGHT IN FRONT OF A TEACHER.

The thing is, there are SO MANY THINGS I can’t tell you about That Child. I can’t even tell you the good stuff.

I can’t tell you that his classroom job is to water the plants, and that he cried with heartbreak when one of the plants died over winter break.

I can’t tell you that she kisses her baby sister goodbye every morning, and whispers “You are my sunshine” before mom pushes the stroller away.

I can’t tell you that he knows more about thunderstorms than most meteorologists.

I can’t tell you that she often asks to help sharpen the pencils during playtime.

I can’t tell you that she strokes her best friend’s hair at rest time.

I can’t tell you that when a classmate is crying, he rushes over with his favorite stuffy from the story corner.

The thing is, dear parent, that I can only talk to you about YOUR child. So, what I can tell you is this:
If ever, at any point, YOUR child, or any of your children, becomes THAT child…

I will not share your personal family business with other parents in the classroom.

I will communicate with you frequently, clearly, and kindly.

I will make sure there are tissues nearby at all our meetings, and if you let me, I will hold your hand when you cry.

I will advocate for your child and family to receive the highest quality of specialist services, and I will cooperate with those professionals to the fullest possible extent.

I will make sure your child gets extra love and affection when she needs it most.

I will be a voice for your child in our school community.

I will, no matter what happens, continue to look for, and to find, the good, amazing, special, and wonderful things about your child.

I will remind him and YOU of those good amazing special wonderful things, over and over again.

And when another parent comes to me, with concerns about YOUR child…

I will tell them all of this, all over again.

With so much love;
Teacher.

Written by Amy Murray

"The thief's purpose is to steal and kill and destroy.  My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."  
- John 10:10

The Satanic Temple in the Orlando area has requested permission to distribute their coloring book in local schools.  The coloring book depicts children performing Satanic rituals and drawing pentagrams.  You can see the coloring book at this link.

The Satanic Temple is a loosely-organized national group that has formed an alliance with atheist groups to make a statement against the practice of allowing Bible distribution.  Their goal is for either Bibles to be banned from being distributed in schools or that they have equal access to distribute Satanic materials like the coloring book.

One things is for sure...we are a spiritual battle for the heart and soul of the next generation.  We must go all out to reach kids.  Remember.

'In the race to a child's heart...the first one there wins."

I'm enrolled in Children's Ministry School this fall.  After 25 years of serving in children's ministry, I still have a ton to learn.

Here are the classes I am taking to grow as a children's ministry leader.

Books 101
I will be reading several books this fall.  They will vary from books that help me grow spiritually to books that help me learn more about ministering to kids and their parents.

Questions 101
I'll be asking lots of questions.  If you want to grow as a leader, start asking more questions than you give answers.                   

Online 101
I'll be reading blogs, websites, articles, watching videos and more.  This will help me stay current with what's happening in the world of children and families.

Connecting 101
I'll connect with other children's leaders and learn from them.

Are you enrolled in children's ministry school this fall?  Remember, growing leaders are always in school.

If you grew up in church, you can probably relate to some of these.  Welcome to memory lane. 

1. One of your heroes was Bibleman.
2. You know who Larry and Bob are.
3. You didn't get to watch The Wonderful World of Disney on Sunday night because you were at church.
4. You were taught Bible lessons with flannel-graph.
5. You flipped through the pages of the song book or looked at all the pictures in your Bible multiple times to survive a boring sermon.
6. You had a cover on your Bible...and it was stylish.
7. You have competed in a contest called "Sword Drill."
8. You have owned a WWJD bracelet.
9. You've had to keep yourself from laughing at someone who thinks they can sing a "special" but are way off tune.
10. You're familiar with the poem "Footprints."
11. The song "Father Abraham" was your weekly workout.
12. You've been in a singing contest where the winner sang, "Hallelujah,  Hallelujah,  Hallelujah" or "Praise ye the Lord" the loudest.
13. Potluck. 
14. You ate out on Sundays after church.
15. You went to summer camp.
16. You know the song, "Deep and Wide."
17. You have attended Vacation Bible School.
18. You've sang, "The B-I-B-L-E...yes that's the book for me."
19. You spent Halloween at a church fall festival instead of collecting candy in your neighborhood.
20. You've heard the words, "Slow down and walk in church."
21. You've had the joy, joy, joy, joy, down in your heart, down in your heart to stay.
22. You saw Thief in the Night and had nightmares afterwards.
23. You've collected quarters in a little bank.
24. You memorized the books of the Bible.
25. You've asked to go to the bathroom to get out of a boring lesson.
26. You played games around an Awana circle.
27. You participated in an offering contest.
28. You've sang a hymn while looking down at a songbook.                                                              
29. "Just as I am" was sang over and over until someone came forward at the end of service.
30. You've attended a church "lock-in."
31. You sang in a children's choir.
32. You attended a "school" that meet on Sunday.
33. You've watched a slide show presentation by a missionary.
34. You've listened to puppets communicate God's Word.
35. You sat through a sermon that felt like it would last for an eternity.
36. You've used a church bulletin as a coloring page during a service.
37. You've watched a song leader wave his arms in sync with the music.
38. You know the words to "Deep and Wide."
39. You know Zacchaues was a wee little man and a wee little man was he.
40. You know the B-I-B-L-E, yes that's the book for me.
41. You've sang, "Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world..."
42. You've sat through a "business meeting" and you weren't inside an office building.
43. You know what the word "rapture" means.
44. The radio station in your car was always set to a Christian station.
45. You gathered around a school pole once a year.
46. You played hide and seek at church after the service...until you got caught.
47. You sang about being in the army...the Lord's Army.
48. Your dad went to Promise Keepers.
49. You listened to the music of Carman or Steve Green or Petra
50. You know, "you can't get to heaven on roller skates 'cause you might roll right past those pearly gates."

What are some other signs you grew up in church?  Share your memories with us in the comment section below.

The age kids have a cell phone is getting younger.  But should kids have cell phones?  Weigh both sides of the debate. 

THE NO ARGUMENT...

1. Rapid brain growth
Between 0 and 2 years, infant's brains triple in size, and continue in a state of rapid development to 21 years of age.  Early brain development is determined by environmental stimuli, or lack thereof.

Stimulation to a developing brain caused by overexposure to technologies (cell phones, internet, iPads, TV), has been shown to be associated with executive functioning and attention deficit, cognitive delays, impaired learning, increased impulsivity and decreased ability to self-regulate, e.g. tantrums.

2. Delayed Development
Technology use restricts movement, which can result in delayed development.  One in three children now enter school developmentally delayed, negatively impacting literacy and academic achievement.

Use of technology under the age of 12 years is detrimental to child development and learning.

3. Epidemic Obesity
TV and video game use correlates with increased obesity.  Children who are allowed a device in their bedrooms have 30% increased incidence of obesity.

4. Sleep Deprivation
60% of parents do not supervise their child's technology usage, and 75% of children are allowed technology in their bedrooms.  75% of children aged 9 and 10 years are sleep deprived to the extent that their grades are detrimentally impacted.

5. Mental Illness
Technology overuse is implicated as a causal factor in rising rates of child depression, anxiety, attachment disorder, attention deficit, autism, bipolar disorder, psychosis and problematic child behavior.

6. Digital dementia
High speed media content can contribute to attention deficit, as well as decreased concentration and memory, due to the brain pruning neuronal tracks to the frontal cortex.

7. Addictions
As parents attach more and more to technology, they are detaching from their children.  In the absence of parental attachment, detached children can attach to devices, which can result in addiction.  1 in 11 children aged 8-18 years are addicted to technology.

8. Radiation emission
In May of 2011, the World Health Organization classified cell phones (and other wireless devices) as a category 2B risk.

THE YES ARGUMENT...

1. Problem solving.
It gives kids access to resources that help them solve problems.

2. Technology skills.
When people don't have access to technology until their later years, they fall behind.  America is already falling behind in technology skills, making us less employable and harder to train.

3. Expectations in school.
Classrooms of the 21st century engage students in a variety of ways bridging technology and interactive teaching.

4. Interest.
Many children are motivated by technology.  They are future coders.  Future designers.  Future engineers.

5. Brain development.
There is a positive link between technology and brain development

6. Literacy.
Handheld devices can help with learning, especially when parents are involved with the interaction of the device.

Which side of the debate do you fall on?  Share your thoughts with everyone in the comment section below.

There's a brand new family standing in front of you.  Maybe they just walked up on their own, another family in the church brought them, or an usher or greeter brought them to you.

After you say, "Hi...welcome...so glad you're here...let me help you get checked in," what do you say next?  Unless you are a natural extrovert, it can be awkward at times.  Especially as you are walking them to the classroom.  If you're not prepared to talk with them and know what questions you're going to ask, the walk to the classroom can seem like an eternity.

And it's not an eternity you want to spend in silence.  It's too big an opportunity to connect with them on a personal level.

Here's a simple plan you and your team can use to instantly become better at talking with guests.  It's called  F. I. S. H.  It's easy to memorize and follow.

F - FAMILY

• Ask their names.
• Ask the kids how old they are.
• Ask if they are new to the area.  Where are they from originally?  Where do they live?
• Ask if they have grandparents or other relatives in the area.

I - INTERESTS

• Ask the kids what video games, toys, etc. they like.
• Ask if the kids if they have any pets.  Names?  Kind?  
• Ask the parents about their work.
• Ask about their favorite sport's team.

 S - SCHOOL

• Ask the kids what grade they are in.
• Ask what school they go to.
• Ask what their favorite subject is?

H - HOBBIES

• Ask what they like to do for fun?
• Ask if they have any special hobbies they enjoy?
• Ask what their favorite movie is?
  

The F.I.S.H. talking strategy is easy to memorize.  Of course, the questions may be asked in a different order depending on the family and the situation.  And the number of questions you ask will depend on how much time you have. 

Since they are guests, they are probably a little nervous and apprehensive.  The main thing is to make the conversation as relaxed and natural as possible.  Set them at ease.  Make them feel at home.  Smile as you talk with them.  

Many times, the first conversation you have with guest families will determine if they return or not.

Okay.  Your turn.  What is your strategy for small talk with guests?  Share your ideas with us in the comment section below.

Bad Habit #1 -  Tolerating disunity.  Disunity will crush your children's ministry.  If you are allowing backbiting, gossip, hallway conversations, and personal agendas to propagate, then you are crushing your children's ministry.

Confront it.  Get everyone on the same page...everyone aligned to the same vision.  If this means asking some people to move out, then do it.  Unity doesn't happen naturally, you have to fight for it.

Bad Habit #2 - Not following ratios.  When parents look into a room that is out of proportion and out of control, they are hesitant to bring their child back.  It also leads to volunteer burn-out.

Follow ratios.  In this post, I share what proper ratios should be.  Do the work to enlist enough volunteers to make it happen. 

Bad Habit #3 - Not maximizing the first 8 minutes.  People decide if they are going to return to your church in the first 8 minutes.  If you are not being intentional about what they experience in those first 8 minutes, then you are diminishing your return rate.

In this post, I share how to maximize the first 8 minutes.

Bad Habit #4 - Begging for volunteers.  When you beg for volunteers, you are devaluing your children's ministry.  Never appear desperate, even when you are.

Here are some ideas for building your team.

Bad Habit #5 - Not keeping your facilities clean.  People are turned off by dirty rooms, clutter, dirty walls, stained carpets, and toys that are not sanitized. 

This has nothing to do with the size of your building or your budget.  Whatever God has provided you with...you can keep it clean.

Bad Habit #6 - Only being inwardly focused.  Children's ministries have a tendency over time to turn their focus inward.  They begin to only cater to the needs and whims of those already inside the walls of the church.

Yes, meet needs, but let the biggest need be your biggest focus.  The world around you that is in desperate need of a Savior.

Bad Habit #7 - Making kids feel like they are going back to school on the weekend.  Kids have been at school all week.  The last thing they want is another school experience on the weekend.

Use engaging, out of the box, dynamic lessons that will capture kids' attention and communicate God's Word in a relevant way.  Make it fun.  Let them laugh, play, and have a blast.

What other bad habits do you see children's ministries perpetuating?  Share your thoughts with us in the comment section below.