Jul 15, 2013

Talking to Kids about Gay Marriage

I've recently had parents in our ministry ask how they should talk to their children about gay marriage.  With the recent supreme court decision, it's been all over the news.  Unless they are hiding out in a cave, most families will see the news coverage and headlines.

When this pops up on the news, kids will begin to ask questions, especially if they are pre-teens.  Here is what I have been sharing with parents.
  • As we are discipling our children, we must apply the Scriptures to all of life.
  • If we don't teach our children a Biblical world view of sexual ethics, the culture will fill in our silence with answers of its own.
  • The big question is "how do we teach about the controversy, without exposing children to more than they can handle or aren't developmentally ready to process?"
  • There is no need to inform small children in detail in order to get across that the Bible teaches marriage is for a man and woman.
  • Parents can explain to their children what the Bible teaches about marriage being for a husband and wife.  One way they teach money handlers to identify counterfeit bills is by allowing them to constantly handle real ones.  After being exposed to only the real deal for so long in training, the counterfeits are easily recognized.  If we constantly expose children to the truth, the lies about what marriage is won't stick.
  • We can tell children that some people don't follow God's Word and disagree about what marriage is.  They have relationships they want to be seen as marriages that go against what God's Word says.
  • We must speak the truth in love about what the Bible teaches.
  • We may not agree with what these people are doing, but we are to pray for them and show them God's love.
One other important note.  We don't address this issue with the kids at church.  We believe this is the parent's responsibility.  Our job is to equip parents so they can have this conversation with their child at home.

Your turn.  The floor is yours.  How do you think parents should talk with their children about gay marriage?  Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.


I affirm the Bible's stance on the sin of homosexuality, yet I also know we are to treat gays with dignity because they are sinners like I am, and because they are made in the image of God. We teach our children about sin every day as we discipline them. We should not shy away from teaching God's truths about sin. The Genesis account is a clear exposition of God's plan for men and women. I think we should help our children see God's plan in the beginning(a positive approach to the issue) as well as remind them that disobedience to God's command carried a price (a negative but necessary approach to the issue.) When they bring up questions about sex we can go to the Genesis account to discuss God's great plan for us.


Does the term"Children of God" include all mankind, regardless of religious belief? Is universal salvation a factual concept? God loves everyone, however, there are requirements and conditions to be accepted as "Children of God."

John 1:12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name.

Only those who believe in Jesus have the right to become children of God.

Galatians 3:26-27 For you are sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. 27 For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ.

It is through faith in Christ and being baptized into Christ that men become children of God.

Mark 16:16 He who has believed and has been baptized shall be saved; but he who has disbelieved shall be condemned.

Those who have believed in Jesus and have been baptized are "children of God."

Acts 4:10-12 let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel, that by the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead---by this name this man stands here before you in good health. 11 He is the stone which was rejected by you, the builders, but which became the chief corner stone. 12 And there is salvation in no one else; for there is no other name under heaven that has been given among men by which we must be saved.

Only those who have been washed by the blood of Jesus Christ are "children of God."



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I think it is a bit naive to suggest that a Supreme Court ruling would be the stimulus for discussion about same-sex marriage between parents and children. The reality is, most families have friends and family members who are homosexuals, many of whom are in long-term committed relationships who may choose to marry. That changes the dialogue substantially because families are rarely talking about nameless, faceless people in the culture: they're talking about brothers, sisters, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles and so on. I think parents should be as compassionate as possible and the broader Christian community needs to realize that for many deeply committed Christians "The Bible Says," Old Testament arguments are not the deep well of compassion they feel comfortable drawing from.

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