RELEVANT CHILDREN'S MINISTRY

People's confidence in the church has fallen dramatically over the past four decades, hitting an all-time low this year of 42%.  It now ranks fourth behind the military, small business and the police, and just ahead of the medical system.

Why the drop in confidence?  Poor behavior on the part of some religious leaders has caused serious self-inflicted wounds for the church and organized religion -- damaging its image.  At the same time, the nation is becoming less Christian and less religious, and those outside of Christianity naturally view the church with less respect.

In spite of falling levels of confidence, you can build parents' confidence in your ministry.  Here are 5 keys.

Make safety and security a top priority.  Their child's safety is a big deal to parents and rightly so.  They want to know that their children are safe in your care.  A thorough on-boarding process for new volunteers including a background check, a check-in / check-out system,  clear evacuation plan, rules like a minimum of two volunteers in each room and other steps will build parents' confidence in your ministry. 

Here is more critical information about parents' safety expectations at church and how to meet them.

Excellence.  Children's Ministry done with excellence breeds confidence.  Excellence is found in doing the small things well.  It's in the details.  This includes everything from proofreading before printing to keeping your rooms clean to doing events well.

Take this test to see how your Children's Ministry scores in the area of details.

Follow through.  When you make a promise...follow through.  When a parent calls and leaves a message...return the call that day.  Respond to parent emails within 24 hours. 

Communicate.  Effective communication is essential.  Keep parents in the know.  Newsletters, parent Facebook pages, text messages and take home papers are just a few ways you can communicate with parents. 

Here are 7 ways to effectively communicate with parents.

Partnership.  It's not easy being a parent.  There are key times in a parent's life where they come looking for help.  Partner with them during these times and you'll gain their confidence.

You can read more about key times to partner with parents in this post.

Do these 5 things well with consistency and you'll find the compound effect will cause parents' confidence in your Children's Ministry to skyrocket. 

Two weeks ago, we blew it with a family.  Their 3 year old was crying during the service, so we placed him in a stroller and started pushing him up and down the hallway to calm him down.

After he calmed down, the volunteer placed him back in the room...but in the wrong room...and didn't tell the volunteers in the room he came from.

When dad and mom came to pick him up, the volunteer at the door told them he wasn't in the room and must have already been picked up.  Understandingly they got very upset.  Dad was so upset that he caused a scene in the hallway in front of other families.  Mom started crying.  And I understand why.  It appeared we had given their child to someone else!  I would be upset too.

In less than a minute we found the child in the other room and relieved everyone's fears.  But the damage had been done.  Didn't we know how to communicate?  Could they trust us again with their child?

This past week, we blew it with another family.  They brought their child to one of our baptism services to be baptized.  They had invited family and friends to be there.  Everyone showed up.  But due to a breakdown in communication, we were not able to baptized the child.  Needless to say, mom was very upset.

I share these two examples to encourage you.  Don't worry...you're not the only one who blows it with families.  We all do at times.  It's not a question of if, but when.

So what should you do when you blow it with a family?  Here's seven steps I took with the families we offended.

1. Allow them to vent.
Before you talk...let them talk.  Listen for key words that they say with emphasis.  This will help you determine what they are upset about the most.  At this point, what they say to you is more important than what you say to them. 

2. Acknowledge you blew it.
Don't try to cover yourself or act like it's no big deal.  Even if it's not a big issue in your eyes...to that family it is.  Pride or arrogance will only make the situation worse.  It may not have even been you who personally blew it...but as the leader...actually it was.  Everything rises and falls on leadership.  If I had trained the volunteers better, the situations wouldn't have happened.  Own the mistake as the leader.

3. Apologize.
Say it.  "I apologize.  We are sorry this happened."

4. Action steps.
Take action steps to ensure it won't happen again.  This may mean better training, better communication or better policies and procedures.  Learn from the mistake and create action steps to improve because of it.

5. Assure them you have dealt with it. 
In both situations, I let the families know we had identified the problem and corrected it.  
 
6. Affirm your love for them. 
Let them know you love their family and are thankful they are part of the church.  When people know you care about them, they are more likely to extend you grace in return.

7. Arrange a gift for them.
The next day I sent a personal, handwritten note to the parents of the child who had been put in the wrong room.  I also included a $25 gift card as well.  Sending a personal note with a gift shows the family you value them.

Your turn.  Share what you do when you offend families?  Look forward to reading your stories and thoughts in the comment section below.

One of the most important aspects of children's ministry is partnering with parents...and communicating with them is a big part of this.

What are the best ways to communicate with parents?  Here's 7 ways you can connect with the people who have the biggest influence in the lives of the kids in your ministry.

Text
Did you know that 98% of text messages get read?  This is a sure-fire way to connect with parents.  More about that here.

Talk
Make a point to talk with parents at church.  Want to know where I spend my time on Sundays?  Talking with parents.  Be in the hallways and engage them in conversation.

Two-Minute Window
You have a two-minute window when parents are dropping off and picking up their children.  Be intentional about connecting with parents during this window of time.  More about that here.

Telephone
Call them.  And not just when you need them to volunteer.  Call just to say "hi" and ask how you can pray for their child.  

Take-Home Paper
Send home a communication piece.  Will it get read?  Not always, but you'd be surprised how many parents actually do read it.

Type 
Email still works.  Send out emails about upcoming events, classes and activities.  Or take it to the next level with a digital newsletter for parents.

Training
Offer training classes at key times in parents' lives with their children such as child dedication, baptism, transition into middle school, etc.

How do you communicate with parents?  
Share your thoughts in the comment section below.